“To good friends,” we all chime in. I try to keep my eyes from straying to Luc’s but I can’t. When I glance across at him, he’s already looking at me. His glass is raised and he presses the rim to his lips to drink. I want to be that glass. I want to feel his lips and tongue on my skin. He gives me an all-knowing smile before setting his glass down.
“Help yourselves, there’s plenty.” Seb gives the green light and starts filling a plate for himself. I glance sideways at Greg. He looks decidedly put-out and spears the tomatoes viciously with his fork. I feel guilty. I’m here with him on a date, yet another man is firmly holding my attention.
I compel myself to look at the delicious arrangement of food in front of us and set about serving myself a selection of the salads before turning to Izzy.
“This is nice. Does Seb cook like this all the time?”
“Yeah, he’s an amazing cook, although not normally in this quantity. Thankfully I love Italian.”
“Me, too. This is delicious.” And it is. I’ve grown too accustomed to cooking for one or grabbing food on the go. Juicy, flavoursome food is a rarity for me, and I enjoy every bite.
My earlier jealousy has settled, and I look at Natasha. She’s no longer pawing Luc, but she does have half an eye on me. I can’t read her. She doesn’t give anything away, and I’m not close enough to her to know how she would react to me liking her date. I may not like the potency of the reaction I’ve had to Luc, but there is no way I could ever deny it’s there.
Lust, full-bodied and fierce, bubbles through my veins for this man, and I’m not doing a very good job of masking my feelings. I should do better and I scold myself for being so brazen.
“Luc, have you been with Natasha long?” Izzy breaks the quiet murmurings at the table. Her question stops Seb, Natasha and Luc in their tracks. Natasha rolls her eyes and makes a dramatic huffing sound.
“No, sweetie.” She turns her stare on me., “We’re not together.”
“Oh, sorry. Well then, Luc, how did you meet Natasha?” Another perfectly normal dinner conversation question, but Seb looks anything but comfortable with this.
Luc’s smile is relaxed. “I’ve known Natasha for a number of years now. We have some mutual interests. We haven’t caught up in a while, and I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, Izzy. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the wedding.”
“That’s fine. I’m glad you could come tonight. It’s nice to meet another friend of Seb’s.”
“Thank you for inviting me. It’s a pleasure to be here.” Luc looks directly at me as the words pass his lips. Our eyes lock, and I feel the crackle of electricity between us. His green eyes seem darker, more dangerous, and the air thickens with desire.
I blink and look around the table. I need to look somewhere else.
“So, Luc. What do you do?” Greg drawled.
“I own a private health practice. I practice with Dr. Amanda Cross. You?”
“Wait.” Izzy cuts in. “You own The Clark Practice?”
“Yes. I thought you knew that?” His eyebrows knit together in the most adorable way .
“No, I didn’t.” She glares at Seb, who smiles wickedly at her. “So you are Amanda’s, I mean Dr. Cross’ boss?” Izzy finishes.
“Yes. She’s very good at her job. We have strict protocols on doctor patient confidentiality. Please don’t worry about her breaching your confidence.”
Izzy nods, retreating within herself a little.
“What about you, Natasha? Izzy tells me you went to university with Seb.” I finally get to glean some information about Seb’s friend, the woman who can ask Luc for a date.
“Yes, although that was a long time ago, now. We’ve both grown up since then.” She twirls her silky smooth black hair around her finger as she answers, and for a moment, I feel like she’s pulling me to her—like she wants my attention centred on her. It works. For a moment. I reach for my glass and take a sip. I want to watch Luc. I want to find out if he’s still watching me, but I don’t. The wine glass is empty all too soon, and I set it back on the table.
I turn to Izzy, and she raises her brows at me in a silent question and nods her head towards Luc. I shake my head and resume grazing on the tomatoes. The flurry of conversation quiets as we all concentrate on the food.
“Wine, Jess?” Luc asks.
“Please.” As soon as he pours the wine, I take the glass and drink. This evening is turning into a train-wreck. I need more alcohol.
I manage to hold my nerve and my alcohol through the main course. Izzy steers the conversation into safer waters, and we settle into a form of companionable conversation. There are moments where Luc, Natasha, and Seb all look guilty, like they are hiding something. They act like they are in on some big secret the rest of us aren’t privy to.
Greg is politely hostile. He’s been reticent during the light conversation, even being outwardly rude in response to my attempts at bringing him into the fold. He watches me like he’s waiting for me to say or do something. It was a mistake to believe in his pledge that he’d be alright dating as friends. I’ve quashed my response to Luc for tonight. I need to explain to Greg about the relationship we aren’t in.
By the time the boozy tiramisu is in front of me, I feel inebriated. Soaked and full of alcohol, I giggle silently as I compare myself to my dessert.
“What’s so funny?” Izzy leans into me. The gin has gone straight to her head too. Bless her.
“I’m loving the pudding, Iz. I’m channelling my inner tiramisu.” I take a big spoonful, making sure I get lots of cream and let the coffee cocktail blend in my mouth. I have to hold back from shovelling the rest of the sinfully creamy goodness into my mouth.
Luc takes a spoon of dessert. His lips suck the silverware clean and all the composure I’d gathered evaporates.
“Hey, mind if you stop eye-fucking him?” Greg isn’t subtle with his accusation.
My eyes whip to Greg, shocked at his words.
“I beg your pardon?” I whisper.
“You heard me. You’re making me look a fool and I won’t have that.” He talks down to me and I bury the anger that is boiling in my stomach.
“Let’s talk about it later, okay?” I encourage. I look down at my nearly empty dish and scrape the last of the pudding onto my spoon.
“No, what the fuck is the point?” I look around the table and skip past Luc. The stare that Izzy aims at Greg can’t be missed. My eyes send her a silent apology.
My chair scrapes against the wood floor, setting the room on edge. I stand and address Izzy. “I’m so sorry, please excuse us.” I face Greg. “Out. Now!”
I march from the dining room, down the hall and yank the front door open. There’s no way I’m doing this with an audience. Loud stomps echo after me as Greg follows.
He brushes straight past me into the frigid air, and I follow him out.
“What the hell was that about?” I yell, now free to lose my raging temper. I draw several long breaths through my nose in an attempt to settle myself.
Greg stops his pacing and comes back to confront me.
“What am I to you, Jess?” His tone is softer, more cautious and I check my own anger.
“You’re a friend, Greg. I thought I explained there wouldn’t be a future for us? You were the one that said you would rather be casual friends than have no relationship at all.”
“And what about Luc, huh?”
“What about him?”
“Well it looked like you were pretty comfortable with him. Tell me, is he the only one you’ve been flirting with since we’ve been together, or is it you just haven’t gotten around to sleeping with him yet?” Greg’s words drip with jealous spite, but they stop me in my tracks. There is one thing I would never, ever do, and that’s cheat.
I’ve had my heart broken to the point I still don’t believe it’s in one piece. I would never intentionally do that to someone else.
“I don’t cheat. I would never cheat on you, even if we aren’t s
eriously dating.”
“But you’re happy to flirt with an almost stranger in front of me?”
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t intentional.”
“Do you like him?” He looks at me, pleading for me to lie.
“I’m attracted to him, yes.”
“Fuck!”
“Look, this was a mistake. I shouldn’t have given you false hope by bringing you here. You’re a great guy…”
“Leave it, Jess. I only told you all that crap to try and get you to come to your senses. Boy, did I choose the wrong girl.” He has the balls to smirk. “I don’t get it. You’re not getting any younger. Your best friend has just got married, but you’re still acting like a cheap slut.”
“You have no right to judge my life or how I live it.”
“Don’t worry, you’ve made that crystal clear. I’m only good to fuck.”
“And you couldn’t even do that right half the time.” My mean strike was more viscious than I intended, but the words are the truth. Greg needed my help in bed to get me off. “I think you better walk away.” I offer softly, the heat fizzling from our exchange.
He strides to his car parked on the road, gets in and drives off. I’m pretty sure that will be the last I hear from Greg.
I turn and creep back into the house and close the door as quietly as possible. Seb comes into the hall.
“Everything okay?”
“Yes, fine. Thank you.”
“We’re all in the lounge. Can I get you another drink?”
“Umm… yes. Bailey’s please, if you have it. And lots of ice.”
“Coming up. Since Greg’s left, you’re staying in the spare room. I’ll drive you home in the morning.” He doesn’t say anymore and heads off to fix my drink. I take a deep breath for courage and then walk into the lounge, ready to face the questions I’m sure are waiting for me.
“Hi, where’s Greg?” Izzy asks, looking past me to see if he’s behind.
“He’s… gone home.”
“Oh.”
“Oh, indeed.” I whip my eyes around the room. The only available seat is the cosy sofa where Luc currently lounges. His arms are outstretched along the back, his legs out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. I take a tentative step in his direction and sit politely on the edge.
Seb strides back in with a tumbler filled with the Irish cream.
“Baileys?” Izzy asks. She knows I drink this when I want to get drunk.
“Baileys.” I answer. I take my first taste and forget all about keeping my distance from Luc. I slouch back into the seat and tuck my feet up under me. “I’ll be staying over. We can talk over breakfast.” I look at her, begging her to leave any questioning until we’re alone. She nods her head and a knowing smile crosses her face.
“Morning!”
“Morning. It’s far too early to be cheerful, Izzy.” I scowl, and let my head fall back, too tired to hold it up as I shuffle into the kitchen.
“You were the one who wanted to get wrecked last night.”
“I know. I was stupid.” My feet find the way to the kitchen table, and I collapse into the chair, burying my head on my arms in front of me.
“Tea?”
“Please,” comes my muffled reply.
“Hey, come on. This isn’t like you.” I hear her, and I hate that she’s right. I’ve never been in this sort of mind funk before. I’m letting doubt and uncertainty fog my mind about what I want from life.
“I know. I’m sorry. You’ve kind of thrown me for a loop.” I raise my head and see Izzy hovering with the tea. She shakes her head, dismissing this as her fault and sits down. She nurses her mug of coffee and waits for me to talk. It’s a testament to how well she knows me.
I sip my tea to clear my throat. “What with your wedding, you getting your “happy ever after” and then Dr. Cross… I’m having a bit of an emotionally hard time.” Plus, all I want to do is try and get to know Dr. Clark better. I keep that part to myself, though. After last night, I was sure I wanted to see him again. He was handsome, interesting and made my heart beat like it still had a purpose.
“You still unsure about Greg?”
“Oh no. I’m sure I don’t want anything to do with him again. It was my mistake to bring him last night.”
“What about Luc?” Her lips purse and her nose twitches as she tries to keep a straight face. I look at her with my best poker face. “Oh, come on, Jess. Someone would have had to be blind not to notice the sparks between you two.” I bask in the recognition there was something between us, and it wasn’t all in my head.
“You like him?”
“I like him.” I admit.
“Even though he was here with Natasha?”
“They aren’t a romantic couple. I know there is something between the three of them, Seb, Luc and Natasha. They all seemed… in on a secret or something. Did you get that?” There were several times when they all seemed aware of something we weren’t. I take a sip of tea and look at Izzy. She twists the wedding rings around on her finger and does her best attempt at looking anywhere but in my direction. Guilty.
“Spill it, lady.” I knew there was something. I just assumed Izzy wouldn’t be any the wiser than I was.
“Well...” she sits on her hands and leans forward, “...Luc is like Seb. So is Natasha.”
“What do you mean?”
“You remember when I told you about Seb dominating me? Well, he’s a Dominant. A Dom. So is Luc. And Natasha.”
I remember the conversations we had when Izzy spoke about Seb and the bedroom stuff, but it never sparked any interest. She seemed completely bewitched by Seb and what went on between them.
“So they like to call the shots in the bedroom?”
“Yes… but it’s not as simple as that. It’s not all about the sex. A Dom and submissive need trust. It’s the bedrock, if you will, on which everything else is built. You give your trust and are rewarded, maybe through pleasure, and that trust grows. You grow stronger together. I trust Seb will love me and care for me. I give myself to him freely, and he gets satisfaction from the responsibility. Every D/s relationship is different. I need the dominance aspect inside the bedroom and a little outside. Seb knows and understands my limits. I trust him to be the one to respect me and our bond. I want to please him in all ways. When I please him, there’s nothing like it. Submission gives me a satisfaction I can’t get any other way. It’s like liquid gold running through your veins. He makes me feel like the centre of his world, and he is the centre of mine.”
It’s evident this dominant/submissive stuff she talks about is right for her. Knowing Luc is into this makes me curious.
“So, if Luc is like this, what does that mean for me?”
“What, you mean if you want to see him?” Her eyes bulge at my question.
“Yeah. You said yourself that we had chemistry.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure what his type is, or if he has a sub he plays with exclusively.”
“Does he only date submissives?”
“I’m not sure, but I’d imagine so. It’s sort of part of being a Dom. He might not be like Seb but I haven’t seen him at Solace. You said you like taking control in the bedroom, and I’m not sure that will work.” She looks shy about what she’s saying, as if she’s trying to protect my feelings. Unfortunately, she’s laid down a challenge for me. I want to know more about Luc.
“You said something about Solace. What’s that?”
“It’s like a club-type place, a private club where people can go to… play.” Izzy’s cheeks flush and scorch her face red.
“A sex club!” I can’t hide my shock. The last place on earth I would expect Izzy to visit is a sex club.
“No.” She takes a breath as if she’s gathering her patience to explain this to me. “It’s this converted cottage slash stately home. There are bars and social areas, but there are private rooms as well.”
“So an upmarket sex club?” I smile, teasing her a little.
“Look, it’s hard to explain. I was in complete disbelief the first time I went. But, I like it. I enjoy being with Seb, and he knows my limits, and I trust him with them. We have fun.” Her lips twitch. Suddenly don’t want to know about what type of fun they have, but if I want to find out more about Luc, this would do it. I’d be able to see what Izzy means by a dominant.
“Can you take me? Maybe without Seb?”
“What!”
“Oh, come on. You can’t tell me about this sexy private club and not expect me to want to go.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, of course. Plus, you need to make sure Luc will be there.” My pounding head takes a backseat as I start to feel excited about seeing the man who’s hooked my attention.
“Okay. I’ll speak to Seb, although, I’m not sure he’ll let us go alone.”
“Will he at least keep a distance?” I envisage Seb hovering over us like an over protective father shepherding a daughter on her first date.
“No promises.” She smiles, and her face lights up as if she’s been given a new pair of shoes.
“Fine. Set it up. You’re going to have to fill me in first. And I want all the details this time, Iz.” It’s apparent my best friend has been holding out on me.
I hear a knock at the door followed by the faint creak of it opening. “Hi, Jess!”
Our intended girls’ night in has morphed into Seb taking us to Solace. We were going tonight rather than next week.
“Hi, what time is Seb collecting us?”
“Not until nine, so we have time.” She walks into the kitchen where I’m fixing us a gin and tonic. “Only one of those. You definitely don’t want to be drunk at Solace,” she states. I hand her the drink and we clink.
“Okay, spill. You need to prepare me for what I’m about to walk into.” I sip my drink, the alcohol adding to my anticipation of the evening. I’ve been craving the mere sight of Luc all week, although there are no guarantees he’ll be there.
“Solace has lots of different areas to… explore. There are intimate bars and alcoves to have some privacy. It’s plush and gorgeous but can make you nervous the first time you’re there. Downstairs is the playroom where all the more personal stuff happens. There are lots of different stations and equipment that Doms and subs can use. The room we’re heading to is all public. People can walk past or stand and watch. Off from this room are some private bedrooms as well. In case you want… privacy.” Izzy hasn’t taken her eyes off of her drink through her little introduction. She’s been clipped and to the point and now her face is a nice shade of beet red.
Surrender to More Page 3
