“Gavin’s really great with Austin,” Jed said.
“Yeah. Are you going to camp out with them?”
Jed shook his head. “Sounds fun, but I really am exhausted. I’d better get some sleep so Austin isn’t waiting for me tomorrow morning to open presents. I can imagine he’ll be up early.”
Cassie laughed. She loved her rambunctious littler brother. They walked slowly across the snow, and Cassie tilted her head back and looked at the stars. “I always loved Christmas Eve. It’s so magical.”
“Tell me one of the Christmas Eve traditions you loved as a child,” he suggested.
They stopped in front of Mama’s front porch. If Trey and Ella were really making out around back, they were being quiet about it.
It didn’t take much for Cassie to decide on her favorite. “When I was younger, before Papa got hurt, we’d always find a family we could help. Mama would take us into Denver, and we’d buy them a bunch of presents and food. We’d wrap everything, and on Christmas Eve we’d stack it on their porch and then doorbell ditch them. We loved watching them open that door.” She smiled up at him wistfully. “That was always more fun for me than getting my own presents.”
“Angelic.” He brushed his knuckles over her jawline, then bent down and placed a whisper of a kiss on her lips. “Cassie,” he murmured. “I’m not even close to worthy of you, and I know you’re planning to leave again.” He swallowed, and her heart hammered into the open space he left there. “Is there any chance of a future for us?”
Cassie wished he hadn’t arrived at this spot. Why did he have to ask? Couldn’t they enjoy their incredible connection and kisses for more than two seconds? She took a step back, and his arm dropped away. “I’m so sorry, Jed,” she murmured. “You knew about my life.”
His blue eyes filled with pain. “Forget I asked. Please. Forget the question.”
“You can’t just erase a question.”
“Please.” He stepped closer, and his large frame overshadowed her. It was chilly outside, but she hardly felt it with him so close. “I shouldn’t have pushed you like that. You barely know me.” His jaw clenched. “I kind of have it in my mind that you’re as taken with me as I am with you, but you need time.”
“Jed.” She shook her head as she stopped him. “Time is the thing I don’t have.”
“I know that.” He wrapped his arms inside her open coat and tugged her against him. “But please give me what little time you have. I won’t ask for anything beyond the next week.”
Cassie felt tears prick at her eyelids. He was so patient with her. If she were able to give her heart away, it would be his in an instant. She slid her arms around his neck and just clung to him. “I’m sorry it can’t be different,” she whispered against the side of his face.
Jed turned his face to hers. “It’s not your fault. You’ve dedicated yourself to loving and serving. I can’t take you away from that. I wouldn’t want to.”
Yet part of Cassie wished he could. She’d felt rejuvenated being around her family and especially around Jed, exactly what she’d hoped for, but soon she’d be going back. She loved it so much, but her path was demanding. A big part of her just wanted to stay here with her family, and especially with Jed. She’d never thought this would happen to her, especially after Kellen’s betrayal, but she was falling for Jed. It was scary and exciting.
“Thank you,” was all she said to Jed.
He nodded, his face too serious as he stared down at her. When he spoke, his words surprised her. “Was the kissing scary for you earlier?”
She laughed. “Far from it.”
Jed didn’t laugh with her. “When we were teasing about me paying you back for the pepper spray and I said it wouldn’t be too scary, there was interest in your eyes but a glimmer of fear.”
Cassie froze in his arms. Where was he going now? He was far too direct for her soft and battered heart.
“Were you scared of me?”
“No,” she hastened to reassure him.
“Will you tell me what scares you?”
Cassie licked her lips and wasn’t sure how much to share.
“Did it have something to do with when you were attacked before?”
Cold sweat formed on Cassie’s back. Jed had the ability to pull back all her layers and get to places she’d never showed anyone. She’d shown Kellen some of her fears, and look where that had gotten her.
“I’m pushing too hard,” he said gravely.
Cassie nodded, relieved that he knew that. “I feel like I’m a suspect being interrogated.” She tried to tease, but it came out too harsh.
“Forgive me,” he said.
“I should go inside.” But she didn’t move to free herself from his arms.
“Scared of me?” he asked quietly.
“No.”
“Can I kiss you again?” he asked in a deep, husky tone.
Cassie tugged his head down closer. “That is scary, but lucky for you, I’m brave.”
He chuckled, and their lips met. Fire raced through her and her head grew cloudy as his lips took command of her world. He was still tender with her, but his strong feelings came through in his kiss and lit her up from the inside out.
She never wanted to leave his arms, but the crunch of footsteps drew them apart. Darting her gaze around, she saw Trey walking past the house.
“Don’t mind me,” he said, grinning. “I know how hard it is to fit in enough kissing time with this family.”
Jed and Cassie both gave embarrassed laughs. Jed released her. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“I’ll be here.” She was glad she was able to say that, even as she waved and almost tripped up the steps. She’d be here in the morning, but not for very many more mornings. Ah, Jed. She would long for him when she left.
At the front door, she turned and found that he was still standing there, watching her with blue eyes full of her and her alone. Why did he have to make it so hard to leave? She’d only been around him one day, and already she was in serious danger of not only giving her heart away but changing her life plan. She pushed through the door and hurried toward her old bedroom. She couldn’t change her life plan. And she couldn’t have Jed.
Chapter Eight
Christmas morning was picture perfect. Austin woke early—five-twenty-one, to be exact—and rushed through Gavin’s house waking everyone up and begging them to hurry so he could open his presents. Then he ran over to Mama’s.
Jed watched him out the window of the suite he was staying in. The exterior lights of the two houses illuminated the little boy in the predawn. He was in his Bruins pajamas with no socks or shoes as he ran across the snow, yelling and laughing to himself. Big, fat flakes of snow were falling, and it looked like a Christmas Jed used to dream about.
He’d never had anything close to a Christmas like Austin would experience today. His thoughts slid to Will, as they often did. Was his foster family trying their best and he was just a hard kid? Throughout his childhood, he’d overheard different foster parents and authorities saying that Jed was a hard kid too, so maybe that was why he felt so connected to Will. He didn’t remember trying to cause trouble, but he’d done about anything he could to get the attention he used to crave, including setting a shed on fire and stealing alcohol for his friends when he was only twelve. He grimaced at the memories and said a brief prayer for Will to have a good Christmas.
As he took a quick shower, his thoughts centered around Cassie. The kissing last night had been incredible. He’d wanted to pledge his undying devotion to her, but he could sense that the little he had shared about his feelings had terrified her. She wasn’t ready for a relationship, and maybe she never would be. That made his chest tighten and his breath shorten. He shouldn’t feel so invested in her, but he didn’t know how to turn his feelings off. He wasn’t really worthy of such an angelic beauty anyway, but he’d do anything to be close to her.
Give up your career and follow her around the world? The thought c
ame unbidden, and he didn’t know if he liked it. He loved his career, loved the difference he made, and he loved the mountains and Park City. Yet if he wanted Cassie by his side … He pushed it all away and remembered how he’d told her he wouldn’t ask for anything beyond next week. Yet if yesterday was any indication of how quickly he could become invested in her, an entire week would prove to be his undoing.
He hurried to get dressed and pump down the stairs. It was a quarter to six. Trey was in the kitchen, groggily staring at the coffee maker.
“I think you have to actually push a button,” Jed said.
Trey glanced up at him with bleary eyes. “I love my future brother-in-law, but five a.m.? Really? I thought I wouldn’t have to do this on Christmas morning until I had my own kids.”
Jed chuckled, but he also thought Trey was very lucky that someday, in the not-so-distant future, he could have his own kids. Trey and Ella were crazy about each other and planned to split their time between his condo in Kauai and her family’s resort here in this beautiful valley, at least when they weren’t traveling the world while Trey taught skiing and mountain biking stunts. Ella could work for Gavin doing marketing here or remotely. Jed thought it sounded pretty ideal. Would he ever find an ideal with Cassie? He stopped himself. He was pushing too hard and fast again.
He put a hand on Trey’s shoulder. “Let’s go over to Mama’s. I bet she’ll have some coffee for you.”
“Oh. Yeah. Good plan.” Trey’s eyes looked a little more alert. “Plus Ella’s there.” He grinned and looked almost like himself.
“That’s where we need to be then.”
Trey headed for Gavin’s laundry room and slid into some shoes. Gavin had offered clothes from his closet or his lost and found for Jed since he’d come without a suitcase or anything, but luckily for him, Heath had left his suitcase behind. He and Jed were close to the same size, and Heath had texted that Jed was welcome to anything he had. Jed hoped Heath was catching up to Hazel. He’d gotten a few texts about Heath being stuck in one airport or another, and his friend sounded frustrated and impatient. What would it be like to watch the woman you loved almost be kidnapped and then have to chase her across the world? Jed could see himself chasing Cassie, but he wasn’t sure she wanted to be caught.
Jed slid into his shoes and followed Trey through the garage and then out a side door. “Where are Gavin and Stetson?”
“They went after Austin pretty quick. Gavin didn’t want to miss seeing Austin’s face.”
Jed nodded. He knew Gavin was Austin’s brother, but it seemed like Gavin was really devoted to Austin, almost like he was trying to be a surrogate father because of Papa’s poor health.
The large flakes of snow kissed Jed’s forehead and cheeks so softly he wouldn’t have known they were there except for the moisture. He put his face to the heavens and said a prayer of gratitude that he could be here, that his last case was solved and some very evil men were behind bars. He thanked God for this gift of time with Cassie and her family, even if it was much less time than he wanted. He also prayed for Will to be happy, safe, and well-fed.
He and Trey eased in the front door, sliding their shoes off. The living room wasn’t nearly as large as Gavin’s, and it was filled to bursting with the family. Piles of presents were stacked around the pretty tree, which was decorated in silver and red balls of varying shapes and sizes, ribbon, and silver-framed picture ornaments of different family members. Jed would’ve liked to check out those pictures, but the beautiful lady sitting on the corner of the couch stole all his attention.
He hurried her direction as Trey made a beeline for Ella and Austin yelled, “Yes! Everybody’s here. Let’s open presents!”
“Okay, calm down, little love; then we’ll start handing them out,” Mama said.
Jed approached Cassie, and she stood and hugged him. He held her close, burying his nose in the delicious, clean scent and the silkiness of her hair. This was the best Christmas gift he could imagine.
Stetson made room for them on the couch, but smart kid that he was, he didn’t make enough room for two. Jed sat down and tugged Cassie next to him. They were squished and he loved it. She let out the cutest giggle as Jed wrapped her in his arms and pulled her half on top of him. Jed saw Papa watching them, but he didn’t seem upset. He winked discreetly at Jed, then focused back on Austin, who had ripped open his first present. It was a remote-controlled helicopter.
Austin jumped around excitedly, then plowed into Mama. “Thank you, thank you, I love it! It’s just what I wanted!” Then he was giving Papa and Gavin hugs as well.
Jed whispered against Cassie’s ear. “They hit the jackpot with that present.”
Cassie turned to him and winked. “It could’ve been a pair of socks and he would’ve reacted the same way. Watch.”
Jed saw quickly that she was right. Austin’s pile of presents was huge from Santa, his parents, and all of his siblings, and he gushed over everything from a T-shirt to his new logoed Bruins hockey stick, signed by “the Jag Parros.” Jed loved the kid’s enthusiasm and gratitude.
Jed probably should’ve felt awkward, intruding on the family’s Christmas like this. He was the ultimate in needy houseguest—he hadn’t brought a gift or even his own clothes, Gavin had to give him a toothbrush from his storage room—but none of the Strongs made him feel like that. They all shared conspiratorial glances and laughs with him at one time or another through the early morning.
Mama even had a few presents for him. When she placed the first one in his hands, he quickly shook his head. “Oh, no. I don’t need anything.”
“I know you don’t. That’s why it’s called a gift.” She leaned over and gave him a hug. “Merry Christmas, Jed. Thanks for being here with us.”
Jed’s heart threatened to burst, as if he were the Grinch and it was growing three sizes. He wanted Mama to adopt him like he’d heard she’d adopted Austin. He shook his head to clear it. He was a grown man, not a child.
“Open it,” Cassie prompted.
Jed didn’t care if it was an ugly sweater. He absolutely loved Mama for making him feel so welcome. Cassie’s family seemed to approve of them being together. Did she? He carefully started undoing the wrapping paper.
Austin came over and tsked. “Do you need some help, bro? Rip it!”
Jed chuckled and shredded the paper. The box was decent-sized, and his excited mounted as he ripped the tape that held it together and lifted the lid off. He looked inside, and the familiar blue and orange made his heart leap. “How did you know?” He gazed up at Mama, who was watching him with a knowing smile on her face.
“I called Heath yesterday morning. A friend of mine was going to Denver, so she picked them up.”
“Thank you.” Jed found himself a little choked up. He pulled out a soft Broncos sweatshirt, a long-sleeved Broncos T-shirt, and a couple of Broncos coffee mugs. That Mama would take the time to find out his favorite team and then buy paraphernalia for him meant the world to him. He met her gaze again. “Thank you.” But that didn’t seem like enough. He set everything back in the box, stood quickly, crossed the distance, and hugged her.
She smiled up at him. “You’re welcome, sweet boy.”
Jed felt like a little kid, and his eyes were watering. He blinked quickly, nodded to her, and headed back to his spot by Cassie. As he squished back into the spot, Cassie took his hand and squeezed it. “Mama’s the best,” she said.
“You’re very lucky,” Jed said quietly.
Cassie nodded as they watched the controlled chaos and a living room that was quickly filling with wrapping paper, shouts of joy, and thanks.
She was very lucky. Jed knew she knew it, yet she still chose to leave these people most days of the year. He loved how she gave of herself, but he didn’t understand her life, and he knew that if he had family like this, he’d never leave them.
Cassie enjoyed each minute of Christmas morning, especially watching how touched Jed had been by Mama’s gifts. She’d given h
im the Broncos stuff, a barbecue grilling set because Heath had told her he loved to grill, and some men’s handcuff-printed pajamas with a few bottles of pepper spray. They all laughed hard about that. Cassie appreciated her own gifts but didn’t even know that she could take them with her. Her mama had kept her and Ella’s rooms at her house, and Cassie had most of her stuff here, as she usually had to travel light.
After presents, they started making French toast and a crumbled sausage, bacon, and egg skillet for breakfast. Cassie had to run use the restroom, so she excused herself for a second. She’d really like to get a shower and make herself more presentable to Jed, but he didn’t seem to notice or care that her hair was ratty and she wasn’t wearing makeup. He was amazing. If only she could stay here with him, and her family. She knew she was very lucky to have an amazing family, and she could hear that Jed sincerely meant it when he’d said that. There wasn’t even a trace of jealousy in his voice. She wished he could’ve grown up with a family like hers. Yet as always, it gave her pause. If she adored her family so much, how did she up and leave them all the time? It wasn’t easy, and it was getting harder and harder to do. When she’d been young and idyllic, she’d thought she was saving the world. Now she focused on bringing a smile to children’s faces and trying to ease their pain or hunger or loneliness.
Cassie heard her phone ringing from her bedroom near the bathroom. She rushed into her room, but she’d missed the call by the time she got there. When she picked up the phone, her eyebrows also rose. She’d missed eleven calls from the same number. It wasn’t a number she had programmed in, but she hoped no telemarketer would be that diligent on Christmas morning.
She pushed call back. It rang once, and then she heard a voice with a sweet Southern accent: “Oh, praise the good Lord above, Cassie?”
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