We continued talking and putting more pieces together. We talked about Jessica’s rape, which he always doubted. He was certain that she had cheated, and it was just an excuse.
“Dude, I’m such a fucking idiot. After she got her DUI and crashed her car, I gave her five thousand dollars to buy a new one. I could have spent that money on my kids." The new car Vince had purchased for her was her fourth car in three years. Since our separation, she had totaled all of her cars. I wondered if all of her car accidents had been alcohol related.
Like a battered wife running back to her abuser, Vince, after talking to the police, tried to give Jessica another chance. Despite there being a restraining order against them being near each other, the two of them drove two hours from their home to spend the weekend together. They were at a bar with plans to go to a hotel that night.
“She kept texting all night saying it was work related. I didn’t believe her. I knew something was up. We got in the car and all she could do was tell me about how she was going to fuck me better than I have ever had before. We eventually got to the hotel, and she just passed out because she was so drunk. So I went through her cell phone.”
“Did you find anything?" I liked that Vince was being a detective too. It was the only way to find out the truth when Jessica was in your life.
“She was smart, but not that smart. Matt, Jessica acts like she’s so smart but she’s really stupid. She deleted all of her text messages, but her emails were still there. I read her emails.”
“What did they say?”
“She was talking to some guy about how much she loved fucking him and how she cannot wait to fuck him again.”
“So did you talk to her?”
“Fuck no. I drove home and left her there. She had to take a fucking cab back home, over two hours. That bitch. She deserves it.”
Motivated by his revelations Vince sent me a timeline of his relationship with Jessica.
From: Vince
Subject: Re: Thought you might like this.
To: "Matthew Timion"
Date: Sunday, March 21, 2010, 11:05 AM
Sociopath: Antisocial-type personality, pleasure-seeking, remorseless, and not bound by law, code, trust, or friendship.
Oh my god, Matt. Three years of my life wasted on sleepless nights, bullshit, and her endless prattle.
I suppose it doesn't matter at this point, since she'll just continue to lie about her lies and infidelities. I wish there were a way for me to find out about how many guys she's hooked up with. I don't know why I care. I guess I just don't want to feel so foolish for having that sense that something was wrong.
Vince went on to detail their entire relationship. Some of the things he described to me were new, but most of it was old news for me.
One of the most fulfilling things Vince mentioned was her insistence that she was in the CIA. She told him the same lie. He even believed it for a while. A man in the US Army fell for the same gag hook, line, and sinker. I had always assumed my naivety towards this topic was because of my unfamiliarity with military culture. Nope. Jessica was either a skilled liar or knew how to find men who would easily believe her.
What I didn't know, however, was just how crazy Jessica had become since we were married. Vince described meltdown after meltdown. He talked about suicide attempts. That night when Jessica called me from Washington D.C. talking about suicide she had apparently tried to do it: sleeping pills, booze, and Manny in the next room.
Their relationship was rocky, and he could not seem to shake her. They would break up and get back together. They were addicted to each other.
I felt like I was reading the secret history of what my life could have been had I stayed married with Jessica. Vince told me multiple counselors and therapists had said that Jessica was either bipolar borderline, or both. I had suspected as much all along.
I felt like I was part of some sort of exclusive club. This guy knew exactly what I had gone through, but on some level his experience was worse than mine. We had been both dealing with the same woman for years. We both dealt with her lying, her manipulations, and we both finally saw through them.
We talked about the meltdown during Christmas the year before when Vince called me to get a cab for Jessica. I told Vince how Jessica’s family perceived Vince as the bad guy during the meltdown and subsequent rescue. They viewed Jessica as the victim, or at least a crazy participant in the insanity. He wrote me:
Matt,
That sucks he thinks I started this, and was victimizing her. I didn't hang up on him. I freaking called the guy because I was so freaked out by Jes. She, in fact, gouged my eye, took the phone, and hung it up because she didn't want them to know what she was doing/going through. Remember, she was threatening suicide and was hysterical. I didn't know what to do. I had never, in my life, been exposed to that level of insanity, and I thought if I called her family they would have an idea of what was going on, be able to calm her down, and get her help. That was the first time she attacked me... Scratching and gouging me in order to get to the phone.
I'm sure her family thinks I'm a big piece of shit, but they have no clue what I've experienced and how much I've tried to be there for her. The reasons why I ended up kicking her out was because I didn't want my kids around her behavior, and like an idiot I kept getting sucked back into her life. I accept my part for keeping Jes in my life, but I'm not the monster they think I am. I don't blame them for not really knowing who Jes is because they don't live with her the way you and I lived with her. How can you tell a family that their sister/daughter is the way Jes is without looking like a complete and utter asshole?
I'm glad you have bonded with them, because that will help you find the best way to care for Manny. But, remember, blood is thicker than water and Jes is very good at being Jes.
Brother, I hope she gets it together. I hope she gets to a place where you feel good about her being involved with Manny. Maybe supervised visits are a good start? I don't know. I had that happen to me with my ex-wife, and it was hurtful. But the bottom line is you have to do what is in that child's best interest.
- Vince
Vince was trying to start over, and he tried to mend old friendships in order to help repair his life. He logged back on to Facebook and added all of the old friends he had had, most of whom were a part of the old ex-Mormon group that had been long gone. To be honest, that group mainly imploded due to Jessica and Vince. Every single person in our dissolved community would have freely acknowledged Jessica’s role in destroying the community. Lester, the de facto leader of the group, put out a message on Facebook telling everyone, “If you add Vince as your friend, you are no longer my friend. I can not be friends with anyone that is friends with him." The remains of a once strong social group was shattered once more. I saw Vince as awakening from the spell Jessica could cast on a person.
About a week later I felt empowered by righteous indignation. Jessica called to talk to Manny and I told her off. I knew exactly what she had done and who she was. I stood in the back yard so Manny couldn’t hear and I yelled in the phone, “You lying fucking bitch." She hung up the phone. I called Vince to brag about what I had done.
“I don’t know Matt, you need to get a grip on yourself." Those words sounded oddly familiar.
“What?" His words took the wind out of my sails.
“You need to calm down, and maybe talk to a therapist or something.”
I was confused. He had told me he was coming to visit in a week or so to see his girls for Easter. He wanted to stop by and visit Manny. His daughters loved Manny. “Sure,” I said. I was still confused. I wanted to see the only other member in my exclusive screwed over by Jessica club. I had fantasized about finding Jessica’s first husband to hear his stories. I was willing to bet that they were just as screwed up as mine. Perhaps her first husband could be the guest speaker at our annual meetings.
PART 4
| THIRTY NINE |
Enemy of the State
April 2010
I liked this guy. He was shorter than me, but not by much. He was probably 20 years my senior. He was friendly. He had slightly blotchy skin, just enough to show you that he probably never wore sunscreen. He showed me his badge. “State of Utah,” it said. Underneath it said, “Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS)." It was the second time I had seen a state badge. The first time was when an investigator came knocking at my door asking if I had any information about my neighbor, who was apparently taking state money for disability and not really disabled. I let the state employee into my house.
“I’m not here to judge you or anything. We just received a report and have to check out it. Since you are an adoptive parent I was called. I’m an internal investigator.”
I knew who he was and what he was saying. Normal investigators are called for normal people. Internal investigators are called for people who have adopted or fostered children. It was a checks and balances thing.
“I just need to take a look around the house and see if anything is alarming.”
“Go right ahead,” I told him. We toured the house. I showed him Manny’s room, my room, and the rest of the house. He was fixated on the kitchen.
“We received reports specifically about the kitchen. Do you mind if I take some pictures?”
I moved the inch tall tomato plants I had in a small greenhouse off of the sink. The rest of the kitchen was bare. He took a few pictures of the kitchen.
“Normally I only do this when things are really bad, but I feel the need to take pictures to show how unwarranted this is. May I continue?”
He took pictures of the living room, the dining room.
“Do you want to take pictures of the basement too?” I asked.
“No, this will be okay. I would like to talk to your son.”
Manny was playing two blocks away at a friend’s house. I walked the investigator there. While we walked we talked. I started to figure out what was going on.
“Can you think of anyone who might report you?”
“My ex-wife, but she hasn’t been in my house in over a year.”
“The report was that there was thick mold all over the house, and animal feces everywhere.”
Just one day before the investigator appeared, Vince had come to my house with his daughter early in the morning. I had no warning as to when he would come. He knocked on the door after Manny and I had only been awake for thirty minutes. We were still in our pajamas.
He was greeted by Jojo and Annie, Mary Ann’s dog who I was watching. The night before we had had spaghetti and the dirty dishes were still in the sink covered with night-old spaghetti sauce.
Manny was in the living room watching The Goonies on our oversized television. A bowl of cereal was on the coffee table as Manny focused more on the movie than on the drips of milk escaping his spoon. When Vince and his daughter arrived, Manny ran with Vince’s daughter into Manny’s bedroom to play.
Vince and I talked about everything going on with Jessica. I was happy to see him. I would never have welcomed him in my home had it not been for the two weeks of phone conversations we had shared. Had we not hashed things out and put pieces together I would have never have known that we were part of the same exclusive club. He was unresponsive whenever I would bring something up about Jessica. I still wanted to talk about her and how much we were screwed over by her. I still wanted to put even more pieces together. Vince had already moved on. I was only a little jealous.
At one point Annie jumped on the coffee table and ran towards me. I hated that dog. She was so hyper. Before dogsitting Annie, I had considered Jojo to be hyper, but Annie’s energy level made Jojo look like a dead horse. Annie ran everywhere and she licked everything. She ran all over the coffee table and jumped over all of us. I pushed Annie off of the table. Vince and his daughter didn’t stay long, but Vince left a gift for Manny for Easter. “It’s from Jessica,” he said. Vince and his daughter left.
Did Vince call the state? I have no idea. The stories kind of matched up, but only a little. The investigator met with Manny. I was asked to walk away so that they could meet privately. A few hundred feet away, I saw them talking. A few minutes later the interview with Manny was done. Manny yelled, “Dad, can I go back to my friend’s house?" I said yes.
The social worker and I walked back to my house. “I can tell you right now that this case is unfounded. Due to confidentiality I cannot tell you who reported it, but I can tell you how it will be filed.”
Months later when I requested the case report, the complaint was as follows:
Referrer had not seen this family for a while before this. Referrer indicated that the home was filthy and dusty. There was dog feces and waste on the floor. In fact, the pit bull urinated in front of him. Referrer states that the whole place reeks of the dog waste. The pitbull tore up the couch. Purported Victim had dirty clothes on and unkempt hair. There were moldy plates in the kitchen. The dog walked across the table. Dad drinks almost every night. He has passed out before, and the purported victim has had to find his own dinner. The frequency is unknown.
The conclusion stated:
This CPS case is being closed at this time as unsupported regarding the single allegation of “Environmental Neglect." The home was not in the condition as reported to DCFS, and there is insufficient evidence to make a finding that abuse and/or neglect occurred.
I toured the home, both upstairs and downstairs. I saw no dog feces on the flooring of the home. There was no dirty dishes or spoiled/moldy food. The condition of the home was not a safety/or health concern to the family members residing in the home. The floors were somewhat dirty, and there were a number of small particles, but given the age of the Purported Victim (7) this is not a health or safety concern.
The Purported Victim looked to be cared for in that he was groomed, and dressed appropriately. Interviewed the Purported Victim without the alleged perp present, and the Purported Victim did not disclose any concerns to me.
I asked the Purported Victim if he had anything he wanted to talk to me about, or any questions for me... and he asked, “Why do bats have wings?” I told him that I didn’t know.
No ongoing DCFS services at this time.
After the visit I phoned the investigator. I still couldn’t believe that this was my life. His advice was solid. It was sound. “I would just make certain to keep your place clean if someone like that is in your life." That was it.
At the time I didn’t have the DCFS report. I didn’t know what to think. I knew someone had called the state on me, and my suspicion was directed towards Jessica. I couldn’t trust Vince any more. It felt like something sinister was going on; I was a fool for trusting him in the first place. The ex-Mormon leader Lester might have been right to try to keep Vince at an arm’s length.
The rest of the night was a mixture of elation and confusion. What was happening? Why was the state being called to investigate me? I was the guy who had rescued my son from an environment like the one someone claimed. Elation came over me because whoever reported me to DCFS clearly had an agenda, and they were proven wrong. I felt like I wanted to call whoever reported me and say, “nice try, sucker.”
I called Jessica. I already knew that she was aware of the allegations. The investigator told me that he had already contacted her. How would the DCFS investigator have her phone number? It was clear to me whoever made the report to DCFS knew Jessica. Her new North Carolina phone number was something that only I and her family had.
“DCFS came today." I told her.
“WHAT?!?! DCFS WAS CALLED ON YOU!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK!”
I don’t know why she acted so surprised. I already knew that she knew about the investigation. When the investigator had come over he had told me Jessica had already been informed.
She went on and on about how I was an unfit father. She then told me that everything I said to Vince was well known to her. According to her she had been sitting right next to him every time Vince and I spoke, laughi
ng with him. “You’re pathetic, Matt.”
Maybe she was right. Maybe I was pathetic. I still had to know who called DCFS. I felt the same as I assume my son will feel one day when he wants to know who his biological family is. Sure, it didn’t really matter, but I needed to know.
“It wasn’t me, Matt, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Then who?”
“I heard about your place and called someone to check it out. MY FAMILY came out there and checked it out. It was MY FAMILY Matt.”
While I found it hard to swallow, I supposed anything was possible. Perhaps her family came and looked in my window and saw something they felt worth reporting. I really didn’t think it was true though. Everything pointed to Vince. Vince, the only other member of the screwed over by Jessica club, reported me. I didn’t understand why. He had told me he was done with Jessica. He was gone to move to Alabama to be away from her. He was going to be free, something that I could never have because of my connection to Jessica through Manny. Why would he throw that beautiful freedom away?
I didn’t contact Vince again. I didn’t know what the truth might be. I was no longer his “friend” on Facebook, but his profile was public so I could still see everything he posted.
Alabama is a Lynyrd Skynyrd dream come true.
Great, he was in Alabama. Hopefully he was away from Jessica.
The same day he had one more update.
Eloped.
I sat at my computer snickering. As if my life couldn’t get any more strange, the guy who had called me to tell me that Jessica was a cheating crazy bipolar alcoholic whore had turned around and married her. She hadn't even invited her son to her wedding. Vince’s behavior over the last weeks was either an elaborate ruse or he was just as crazy as Jessica was.
Vince then posted pictures of their makeshift wedding. She wore a black dress. It looked like it was a civil ceremony with only the two of them. The first person to respond to Vince’s wedding pictures said, “dumbass.”
Leaving Salt Lake City Page 20
