“So…how did it go with you and Luca?” Kassian lowered himself stiffly into the armchair. The swelling in his eye was almost completely gone, and the blue black shine was already fading fast.
“Okay...good, I guess…a little strange for both of us, I think, but good.”
“I’m glad.”
“Are you?” She raised a brow.
“Of course I am…what kind of question is that?” he groused irritably.
“An obvious one, I think, considering what you said earlier.”
She felt the pulsating waves of his discomfort and regret. He was making no attempt to contain his emotions behind a shield. Clearly he wasn’t used to apologizing and she suspected he hoped she would sense his remorse without his having to put it into words. She wasn’t about to make it that easy for him. He’d cut her to the quick; she wanted the words.
“Yeah…” He sighed. “About that…I guess I’m a thoughtless ass sometimes.”
“Oh, I think we’ve established that, McAllister.”
“I’m sorry, Kat.”
“I know.”
“You know?” His brows shot up to his hairline.
“Of course, I know…I’m an empath, you idiot…I can feel that you’re sorry.”
“So you understand?” His face cleared and he straightened in the chair. “You understand why I…thought…what I thought? It was only for a second and it really wasn’t about you, honey…it was about me.”
Kat rolled her eyes. “Please tell me you did not just use the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line… it’s older than you are, and that’s saying something,” she scoffed. “And no, I don’t know how you feel. I can sense what you are feeling…and I know you are feeling sorry right at the moment. I want the words, McAllister…it isn’t enough for me to know you’re sorry …I want to know how you could even think such a thing in the first place. And I’m not about to let you off the hook even though I know you are sitting there hoping I’ll save you the trouble. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me.”
****
Kassian continued to stare at her, his eyes wide. She was really going to make him do it? This could not end well. He had never been good at verbalizing his feelings and he was hundreds of years out of practice. Asking for forgiveness wasn’t really in his repertoire.
“I could use my mad skills in mind control and wipe your memory, then plant a suggestion that I’m the best thing since sliced bread,” he threatened with a mock frown.
“Ha! Well, if you think you’re up to trying,” she snorted. “Of course, Luca might think it’s strange if I suddenly don’t remember anything.”
It had been an empty threat, of course. Kassian was really trying to buy himself a little time until he could work up the nerve to get the words out. But that was hardly the response he’d expected! In fact, it hadn’t even occurred to him.
“Besides, McAllister,” she added in a minutely friendlier tone, “you’re an ass, not a bastard.”
“Is that supposed to be a good thing?” he replied blankly.
“It could be worse.”
“You aren’t going to give me a break, are you?”
“Nope.”
“But you are going to forgive me, right?
“Possibly…I’ll reserve judgment until I hear the explanation.”
“I’m not good at this, Kat…it’ll probably come out all wrong and make things worse,” he muttered miserably.
“You’re the one who likes to live dangerously, McAllister.” Kat waved a hand in his direction. “Go for it.”
He leaned forward, clasping his hands between his knees and bowing his head. He wasn’t sure if he should be figuring out what to say or praying he lived through it. He’d left his hair loose and it fell around his face like raven’s wings. He risked a glance through the dark strands. Nope. Didn’t look like she was going to make this easy. Then again, why should she? When he finally managed to speak, he barely recognized his own voice.
“Ah hell, Kat I’m really no good at this…” he forked a hand through his hair and jumped to his feet, only to begin pacing in circles. “I’ve spent years feeling next to nothing. I had one goal; to make Rapier pay for my sister and all those other women. There was no room in my life for a woman, for a relationship, for anything. I vowed I would never put that on anyone. And then, at the party, there you were, beautiful, interesting, and not the least bit impressed by the legendary Kassian McAllister. You were like a sudden shaft of sunlight breaking through a dusty window that had been locked tight forever. I knew I should walk away and I didn’t. When I took you out of there and brought you home I told myself I didn’t have a choice, but I did. I put you in danger, and I appropriated your life, and I never gave you a choice. My only excuse is that for the first time in over a century, I felt something that wasn’t ugly. You touched me in a way no one ever has, and I was selfish enough to want to feel that again. Something about you made me want to be a person I hardly remembered and forgot how to be. And you know what? I kind of missed being that guy. When I realized Luca was your brother, well, we both know he can protect you as well as I can. I thought that if you didn’t need my protection you wouldn’t need me anymore; you would have no reason to stay.” He stopped directly in front of her and paused for breath. She met his gaze squarely and he dared to hope her eyes had softened. “And I wanted you to stay. More than that, I wanted you to want to stay. I know it was a stupid reaction, I know I hurt you…I wish I could take it back but I can’t. I can’t promise I won’t ever hurt you again, but I can promise it won’t be intentional. I’m a warrior, Kat. It’s the only thing I know. I’m stubborn and maybe a little arrogant, and I like my own way. I know I sure as hell don’t deserve you. I can’t promise I’ll always choose the safer path. And I don’t have any right to expect you to accept that or any of this. But, I look at you and every other woman I’ve ever known fades into obscurity. You’re the only one I can see, Kat, because you’re the only one that matters.”
Kassian thought it might have been the longest speech he’d ever made. He’d put his life on the line hundreds, maybe thousands of times, but he’d never put his heart so completely on the line. Battle had never caused this dry, sandy feeling in his mouth, this cold sweat, or this peculiar ache in the region of his heart. Yeah, Kassian decided he would take a good fight over this any day. At least in battle the outcome was relatively predictable. He knew Kat’s empathy would sense some of his discomfort, but he wondered if she really appreciated how incredibly difficult those few sentences had been for him. He really had been hoping she might take pity on him and let him off the hook. But she hadn’t. And he knew he would do it again; for her. She was worth it.
****
Kat watched his struggle in silence; considering every word, every inflection, every hesitation. Maybe she was a fool, but she’d already forgiven him before he ever opened his mouth. Yes, he’d hurt her, but she could feel that his regret was genuine. And he was right; now it wasn’t a question of protection. Luca could protect her as easily.
Kassian didn’t have to feel responsible for her anymore. He could have merely let her go. But he was here, uncomfortable as hell, but still trying to apologize. She felt the anxiety he experienced at humbling himself. She felt his uncertainty. It was a feeling she could relate to and she finally took pity on him and held out a hand. He pulled her to her feet and she moved right into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest.
“McAllister,” she mumbled into his shirtfront. “I should not forgive you this easily. You don’t get a second chance, so don’t ever do that to me again. You really are an ass.”
“Oh, I think we’ve established that.” She heard the smile in his voice and the relief. She tilted her head back to look at him.
“Has it ever occurred to you that the only one that’s been holding you back from being happy...is you? You really never give yourself a break. And you were wrong about two things; one, you aren’t ba
d at that at all. In fact, you are really very, very good.”
“I’d prefer to not make a habit of it.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” she announced airily. “I think I could get used to it.”
“Don’t bother,” he warned, but the growl lost its bite when he bent to plant a quick peck on her mouth. That wasn’t satisfying enough for either of them and so he returned for a longer kiss. His mouth was firm and warm against hers; and it wasn’t long before his even warmer tongue slipped between her parted lips and stroked deep and urgently. Her bones turned to rubber and those damn butterflies were back. The man certainly could kiss. He turned her slightly giving him a better angle, and it was a long time before either of them spoke again.
“And two?” He kissed the end of her nose.
“What?” She had completely lost her train of thought.
“You said I was wrong about two things.” He reminded her with a chuckle.
“Oh…right! You said now that I had Luca I wouldn’t need you anymore.” She buried her fingers in his hair and pulled his face down to her to show him how much she, in fact, did.
“Luca thinks maybe I should consider selling the house.” Kat wore a contented and slightly bemused expression when they finally came up for air.
“Did he say why?”
“He thinks I’m not safe here.”
“Well, I have to agree with him, but you don’t have to make any decisions right this minute.”
She sighed and slipped from his embrace, backing up a step. “Kassian, actually I was thinking about staying with Luca for a while. It would give us a chance to get to know one another better, and it would leave you free to do what you need to do without worrying about me all the time.” She saw every muscle in his body tense. Yeah, he didn’t take that idea well, at all.
“I see.” He forced through tight lips in a tone that clearly said he didn’t see at all. She tried to remember if he’d always had that strange little tic in his cheek.
“Well, unless you think that’s a problem? I mean with Alec at your place and everything, I thought…”
“Alec will be moving downstairs later today. I, uh, thought maybe you’d like your privacy.”
“Oh, really,” she drawled coyly. “So you were that confident I was coming back? Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
“Not really. I just couldn’t contemplate the alternative,” he replied with simple honesty.
“And people think you’re such a bad-ass.” She stood on tiptoe and saucily planted a kiss on his chin.
“I am so bad-ass,” he replied arrogantly.
“Save it for the animorti, McAllister, I know better. Let me get some work to take with me and then we can go.”
“Work wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“Mmm…yes, well, nonetheless, all play and no work means Katrina misses her deadline,” she laughed.
Kat crossed to the table and dragged her pink paisley computer bag from under the chair. She stuffed her laptop and cables, a dog-eared thesaurus, and a set of earbuds into one side. She balanced the bag against the arm of the chair with her leg and tried to shove her no longer neat pile of notes into the other pocket, but half of them ended up on the floor. She dropped the bag on the chair and bent to shuffle everything back together.
Kassian wandered over and started to gather up the papers that had fallen.
“No…I’ve got it.” She hurried to push the telltale sheaf into her bag, but Kassian had managed to grab a few stragglers that had floated out into the middle of the floor. He glanced at them briefly. Then he stopped and leafed through them more slowly, his eyes widening and his lips twitching as comprehension dawned.
“Kat, honey…do you have any other little secrets you’d like to confess today?” he drawled slowly.
“Is there really any point? I assume you’ve already figured it out,” she sighed resignedly.
“You are K.L. Brookes?”
She quirked a brow and shrugged.
“McAllister Publishing has been trying to sign her…you… for over a year!”‘
“Um, yeah, that doesn’t come as a big newsflash to me,” she laughed.
“What do you have against McAllister? I know it was an extremely lucrative offer. I oversaw the contracts myself.”
“Should I be flattered?” she teased. “Seriously, Kassian, Apple House Press has been very good to me. They gave me my first break and over the years my books have been very good sellers for them. As a small indie publisher, that’s revenue that allows them to keep their head above water while providing opportunities for unique new voices that the big boys like McAllister aren’t prepared to take a risk on.”
“That contract would have allowed you to live quite comfortably, Kat.”
“Maybe,” she shrugged. “But, I do okay between my writing and my graphic design work; some things are more important than money.”
He shook his head. “You never cease to amaze me. At least I know you aren’t interested in me for my bankroll. That’s a novel experience. Well, I’m determined that McAllister will get you under contract, so I guess we’ll have to work on hammering out the sticking points.”
Kat shook her head with a smile and finished stuffing her papers into her bag.
“Okay, do you have everything? Where’s your duffle?”
“Yeah, I’m ready.” She picked Sid up and rubbed her face against his neck. Sid batted playfully at her locket, tangling his paw in the chain, and tugging hard against her neck. “Hey,” she laughed, working the chain free. “Let go, you stinker!” Kassian reached out with a look of blatant distaste to help her untangle the cat and set him back on the floor at her feet.
“What’s this?” He turned the locket over in his fingers with a frown. “It has sigils engraved on it.”
“Apparently it does,” Kat confirmed. “It was my mother’s. Actually, Luca said it had been his mother’s so Nicola must have given it to my mom. Luca said it carries protection and that I should wear it. We couldn’t figure out what the numbers were, though.”
“What numbers?”
Kat retrieved the locket from his grasp, opened it, and popped out the photo, revealing the engraved numbers beneath. Kassian leaned forward, his brows still drawn together.
“Maybe the combination to a safe? But that doesn’t seem quite right, either.”
“Really? How odd!”
“Is there a safe in the house?”
“Not that I know of,” she shrugged, “but there could be one hidden away in the attic or the basement somewhere. I’ve never really gone through everything since Mom died.”
“Well, once we take care of Rapier, Luca and I will help you.”
“Whatever, there’s no rush.” Kat smiled tucking the locket back into her sweater. “I highly doubt Mom had millions socked away somewhere. C’mon, I think my duffle is still in the car.”
“Oh, God,” he groaned. “We have to take your car?”
“Unless you can give me a crash course in that snap, crackle, pop thing,” she teased.
“Yeah, maybe I’ll leave those lessons up to your brother.”
Kassian contorted himself behind the wheel and turned the key while Kat worked her magic with the screwdriver. She spent the first ten minutes of the drive trying to convince him that given the choice between teaching her to fade and driving back, her car was the lesser of two evils. Judging by the constant grumbling under his breath occasionally punctuated by a vast array of colorful curses, she was fairly sure she hadn’t won the argument.
****
Sid watched them through the glass with wide, unblinking amber eyes, waiting until the car had backed out of the drive and headed off toward the interstate. He jumped down from his seat in the bay window and the air around him began to shimmer as he hit the floor. His whiskers and claws retracted, his face and body began stretching, shifting, contorting, and growing, his fur dissolving. In seconds, a sinewy naked man lay stretched on the living room rug where the
cat had been. He stretched languidly, joints popping and creaking free of their confinement, then jumped to his feet, pulled the curtains against prying eyes, and headed for the phone.
Chapter 11
On the way back to the penthouse, Kassian decided to make a quick stop at the shelter to determine whether Rapier’s latest victim was connected to them in any way. Kat found that the place wasn’t anything like she’d expected. The building was old and unexceptional; the mortar crumbling between the bricks in places, but once inside everything was bright, modern and cheerful. To the left of the long hallway off of the entry was a cozy sitting room and opposite that, a room containing long tables with computers and rows and rows of books. A bulletin board in the hall listed the dates and times of available classes ranging from GEDs to college level business courses, and everything in between. The House of Angels didn’t merely provide a roof and a bed; it provided the tools for positive life changes. She was impressed with the concept and wondered how much of the actual operations had been Kassian’s idea.
Just beyond the foyer was a tasteful reception area. The woman behind the desk had a huge mass of perfectly coiffed hair, in the most unnatural shade of red that Kat had ever seen. Violet reading glasses studded with rhinestones perched daringly on the end of her long, thin nose, which she’d buried in the pages of a thick romance novel. Kat was amused to see that it was one of Elle’s. The woman didn’t bother to look up as she turned the page; Kat assumed this was the “Estelle” that Dimitri had referred to the previous evening.
“I’m sorry, we’re completely filled for tonight.” She blindly reached for a sheet from neat pile and held it out. “Here is a list of alternate shelters that may have something available.”
“Is Estelle in?” Kassian asked politely.
With an exaggerated sigh, the receptionist plunked the book face down being careful to keep her place, pushed the glasses up, and poised grotesquely long acrylic nails over the computer keyboard. She still hadn’t looked up.
Undiscovered Angel Page 15
