“You lot, you set him up, didn’t you?
According to the grinning black knights’ explanation, it was something like this…
That maid was the daughter of a baron’s household from the Frontier Count’s domain, and she was in love with Albert for a long time.
However, the baron didn’t approve of his daughter marrying a simple knight, so he sent her to the imperial capital’s palace to serve as a maid.
They finally met again, and the black knights decided to work together with the maid.
They devised a plan in order to ‘attach’ Albert to her.
“You lot……Then, what about Albert?”
“Yes, he’s actually in love with Miss Meril too, so there’s no problem there. We’re in your care now.”
They all together bowed their heads.
Oh dear!
“Understood. I’ll turn this into a happy story. Tell this to Albert too.”
“ “ “ “Thank you!” “ “ “
Really now, you sure know how to cause a lot of trouble…..However, that maid was really cute.
Damn you Albert…..and that handsome face of yours.
With my flames of jealousy fully burning, I returned to my room.
Meril and Bea were there.
“Bea, you came? Meril, I heard about your story. Leave it to me.”
“Zest-sama, I also heard about it from Meril. However, deceiving Zest-sama is a bit……”
“Zest-sama, I am truly sorry.”
Ah, that?
I laughed and brushed Bea’s hair.
Yes, it feels as good as ever.
“It doesn’t matter. Besides, I’ve already decided on the punishment.”
Really now, I had to do meticulous arrangements.
“Anyway, the suggestion came from my master or mother-in-law, am I correct?”
Startled, Meril jumped up.
“As for the punishment this time, I’m planning to assign Albert as those guys’ leader and make them all work directly under me.”
This was indeed their punishment, making them work directly under me.
In reality, I’ll be something like their overseer.
“Therefore, there’s no need to be worried, Meril, I won’t scold you. You can relax.”
She constantly apologized to me; as for her pregnancy, it was actually real.
I confirmed it with my observation magic……That rascal was damn fast…….
For the time being, I gave some orders to make Meril Bea’s exclusive maid.
They both know each other, and Albert would feel at ease knowing that she’d work under Bea.
After I finished with these preparations, it was already the time for the big announcement on the palace’s terrace.
A maid came to guide me to the waiting room.
Bea and I were drinking some tea, while waiting for our turn.
Toto, you really like cookies, don’t you……? How many did you eat already? You’ll get fat, you know?
Once Toto finished her 4th cookie, the maid called us out.
Well, shall we go?
We arrived in front of the terrace’s opened door and heard that the Emperor’s speech has already begun.
The maid knelt down and approached his Majesty, who was giving his speech in front of the population, and touched his leg a few times.
I see, that was the signal.
“…………………..to be. Well, as everyone already knows, a hero who managed to achieve spiritification appeared in our empire. It is a brilliant achievement we haven’t seen in 300 years!”
Waaaaaaaaa…
I surveyed the crowd, breaking out in shouts of joy.
His Majesty did the same, then raised his right hand, at which point the crowd started to slowly settle down; the Emperor continued.
“For this joyous achievement, I prepared two rewards. First, I will bestow them with the duke rank, and second, I will offer Princess Tsubaki in marriage! Everyone, offer your blessings and shouts of joy to our heroes, Duke Zest and Duchess Beatrice!!”
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
The cheers this time were even greater than before.
The maid gestured us to hurry on the terrace.
Bea and I looked at each other and nodded, then started walking slowly.
(Dad, Mom, I need to pee. It’ll come out.)
At this excessively clear telepathic message, we both turned around in shock……..
Toto, try to endure it……Ha? It seems she won’t be able to……..
* * *
Translation: Nana
Proofreading: Carmina
DA BEST (among the worst): Mockii
Chapter 51: When There’s no Toilet Around, Do it in a Cup!
Sorry for posting it a bit later than usual, I kinda slept a lot today xD
Enjoy this chap, while I go play some Rise of the Tomb Raider ♥
Ja neeee…
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Chapter 51: When There’s no Toilet Around, Do it in a Cup!
With countless shouts of joy in the background, Toto was trembling slightly……
Do I go search for a toilet?
Impossible, we won’t make it…..
Then, I tell her to endure?
This is also impossible; she seems she’s reached her limit……
I took a cup of tea and drank it up hurriedly.
“Toto, it can’t be helped. Use this. We will buy you some time, so you should feel at ease.”
With a refreshing smile, I offered her the cup.
If a human would do something like this, I’m sure they’ll get arrested or something, but she’s a spirit, so there shouldn’t be any problem, right?
Please, let it not be a problem…..
Afraid, I looked at Bea.
It seemed she was all right; she was nodding at everything I was saying, with a serious expression on her face.
(I understand. I’ll do my best!)
I decided I wouldn’t ask what was there for her to do her best for.
There are things in the world you’re better off not knowing.
We left Toto in the waiting room and walked towards the terrace.
When we showed up in front of the people, the cheers got even louder.
There were tens of thousands of people outside.
And they were all focusing their attention on us.
It was rather intense.
I somehow managed to put a smile on my face and wave my hand.
Bea was…..as expected.
She was wearing a magnificent smile, waving her hand at the people.
There are things only noble women can do.
After a short while, Toto came floating on the terrace as well.
Her smile was filled with kindness, and she looked just like a goddess.
In reality, she was only happy and refreshed after doing her ‘stuff’……
I’ll just be silent about it…………..
After we smiled and waved our hands in front of the people for a while, the ceremony of our debut was over.
We returned to the waiting room, together with the Emperor.
“Oh dear, we’ve finally completed the first stage.”
He threw himself down into a chair and drank some tea.
The Emperor was extremely thirsty or something, since he drank that cup of ‘tea’ in one single breath.
……………..That cup…………was it for his Majesty?…………..
We too sat down and a maid came to bring us some tea.
“In the afternoon, we will have the title bestowing ceremony in the audience room.”
The Emperor said, after he got his cup of tea replenished.
“As you wish.”
“As you wish.”
We both lowered our heads in a bow.
“Stop it, yours Excellencies, Duke and Duchess. You can act more familiar with me now.”
Grinning, the Emperor took a sip of his newly prepared tea.
Hm? Wh
y did he lean his head to the side just now?
“Hmm, well, you are duke and duchess from now on, and also my relatives. I’ll be relying on you. As for your domain, I’ll discuss it first with the Frontier Count, and we’ll come up with a decision afterwards. I’m planning on giving you a part of my territory and a part of the Frontier Count’s territory. It should be all right.”
“Certainly, your Majesty.”
“Yes, your Majesty.”
“Haha, Bea, you’re still stiff. I don’t mind treating you like a daughter of mine, you know?”
The Emperor smiled mischievously.
Bea showed a bitter smile, but she didn’t seem to hate it.
She seemed rather perplexed.
Toto was gulping down her tea at her own pace…….You’ll be full again, you know?
We were chatting idly, when the door opened and the Prime Minister came in.
“Excuse me for interrupting your pleasant talk, your Majesty, yours Excellencies, Duke and Duchess.”
He said and bowed his head.
“Oh, it’s already the time? Zest, Bea, I have something to talk with the Prime Minister first, so you can relax and wait for now. I will send someone for you later.”
He patted me on the shoulder rather vigorously then left the room together with the Prime Minister.
His Majesty seems quite busy.
I thought that highly positioned people relax in a chair and give orders around, but it seems I was wrong.
I asked a maid about our lunch, and it seemed we were going to have it here.
It was soon the time for it.
I had to kill some time, so I played a bit with Bea and Toto.
Lately, Toto seems to enjoy playing ‘Look this way!’ (1)
Immediately after a loss, she wants to play again.
Being too energetic, she often ends up touching Bea’s chest region, at which point her breasts start bouncing. This was also great.
After we finished our lunch, Bea took Toto to the toilet.
It’d be too troublesome if she starts saying again she can’t endure it anymore.
After doing her ‘stuff’ properly on a toilet this time, Toto was in a very good mood.
As expected, she didn’t really like doing it in a cup.
Obviously.
It’s difficult to confirm whether a spirit feels shame or not, but I bet she didn’t like peeing in a cup inside the waiting room.
(Mom made me wear this! How do I look?)
She said, and showed me her new ribbon.
“You look great, Toto, you’re very cute.”
She puffed up with pride.
Haha, she truly is cute.
We both brushed this extremely cute Toto’s hair, when the maid came for us.
“It is time. Please follow me.”
The maid assured us that everything was prepared so we followed after her.
After the title bestowing ceremony, this day will be over.
Just for a bit longer I’ll do my best.
……..I got to buy some presents too.
I was worrying about the souvenirs I would have to buy later, when I realized we already arrived in front of the audience room.
Behind these doors, the Emperor and the nobles are waiting for us.
Good!
I motivated myself once again and looked at the soldiers guarding the doors, nodding to them.
The doors were opened slowly.
(Come to think of it, the Majesty uncle guy ended up drinking from the cup I used, didn’t he?)
We received this shocking telepathic message right when his Majesty, sitting on an extravagant chair, came in sight………..
Bea and I were desperately trying to refrain ourselves from bursting out laughing.
It was the beginning of an audience, during which we were not allowed to laugh.
___________
(1) ‘Acchi muite hoi’ (look this way) is the second part of ‘Janken’ (rock-paper-scissors), when you point your finger and the other party has to look the other way, or they lose (you can check on YouTube if you want ^^).
* * *
Translation: Nana
Proofreading: Carmina
DA BEST (among the worst): Mockii
Chapter 52: A Title Bestowal Ceremony during which We Must Absolutely Not Laugh
……I….have no idea what to say today, so I won’t lose any more time by staring at the screen doing nothing, I’ll just post the chap and let you do the talk later ^^
* * *
Chapter 52: A Title Bestowal Ceremony during which We Must Absolutely Not Laugh
The gigantic doors were opening.
Inside this dazzling audience room, the Emperor was sitting on his extravagant chair on the platform, lying in wait.
Her Majesty the Empress was not there……As always, he’s doting on her.
The nobles gathered, anxiously waiting to take one look at the newly born heroes, the newly born duke and duchess.
For the nobles, a duke was a person who’s reached the top.
Such a title bestowal ceremony happened only a few times since the foundation of this nation.
All the nobles in the imperial capital gathered there.
This title bestowal ceremony was indeed majestic.
For us, it was only a loser’s ‘punishment’…………
His Majesty was sitting in his chair, his expression grave.
It couldn’t be helped that only by looking at him we almost started laughing.
(Mom, is it that the Majesty uncle guy likes my pee-pee?)
Bea continued to advance, her entire body trembling.
It was Toto’s final blow.
This important looking old man, sitting over there, likes drinking pee……
I must restrain my thoughts.
(Dad too, you want to drink pee-pee?)
“Pfffu”
I clenched my fists in a desperate attempt to control my outburst through pain.
I’m a drinking buddy of his Majesty!
No, stop! This self-inflicted damage was greater than necessary.
When I got in front of the Emperor, I fell down to one knee and lowered my head.
(I get it now! Once you become a great person, you start drinking pee-pee!)
Damn it Toto, you don’t understand a thing….Right at the moment when her telepathic message arrived into my head, the Prime Minister started talking.
“First, we will read the achievements that led to this title bestowal. Reading official, you can start.”
The assigned reading official……Well, basically it’s an honorary position occupied by a retired civil official noble.
A white-haired old man opened the parchment slowly and started reading.
(Dad! That old man’s hat! It looks like it’s made of hair!)
Involuntarily, we both looked in his direction.
He’s definitely wearing…….a wig……
Please stop! This topic is dangerous.
Bea’s shoulders were trembling.
Being immensely curios about her surroundings, Toto’s telepathic messages didn’t stop from coming into our heads.
(Mom, do human women have many breasts?)
Have ‘many’ breasts? What are they, monsters?…….
Toto was staring at a fat women, who seemed to have four rounds of belly, as she was sitting down, wiping her sweat away.
Those are not breasts, it’s her belly.
In a way, she was indeed a monster.
Somehow, the ceremony was still going on, but nothing of it would enter my head.
The situation in which only Toto’s telepathic messages reached our heads was still on-going.
All about this ceremony looked more and more like a gag…………I’ll be finished.
“A new Duke Household is born in our Grun Empire. I will offer my blessings to them, before the title bestowal.”
A maid was respectfully caring a silver water jug.
The E
mperor poured the water in a silver bowl and, with a few tree branches with young leaves, he sprinkled the water over us.
(!? So, people not only drink pee-pee, they also sprinkle it over others!)
Surprised, Toto’s eyes were shining intensely.
Our eyes were shining intensely too.
“Zest, as a duke of our Grun Empire you will swear loyalty towards it and will become my sword.”
“Yes!! I, Zest, swear unyielding loyalty! I’ll become your Majesty’s sword! And I will bring glory to our Grun Empire!”
My oath was filled with weird yells and magical power….It couldn’t be helped.
“Beatrice, as a duchess of our Grun Empire you will swear loyalty towards it and will become my sword.”
Stranger's Handbook - WN Chapter 01-76 Page 25
