“Me.” Dakota winced. “Just before the wedding. He kept asking where Nina was, and I think he suspected. I mean, how many fiancées do you know who don’t bother visiting their wounded man in the hospital? When I told him, he just sort of deflated. He didn’t look surprised, just...silent.”
“Imagine if that had happened over there,” Kaitlyn reminded her. “Nina’s such a selfish—”
“It’s done, it’s done...” Dakota shook her head. “And Nina isn’t your fault. We’re all just trying to pick up the pieces, and this was the plan, right? He needed to find out here, so we could get him through it.”
“He’s mad that we hid it.” Kaitlyn lowered her voice further.
“I know.” They exchanged a long look, then Dakota nodded in the direction of the sitting room. “He’s waiting.”
Kaitlyn got a glass of water from the sink and headed into the sitting room. Brody was sitting forward, leaning toward the fire. He didn’t hear her at first, and he was so close to the flames that they reflected against his face.
Brody had changed since he left—there were lines around his mouth that weren’t there before, and his eyes had lost that boyish twinkle. There was nothing boyish left in him—he’d hardened, stilled. If Nina could see what she’d caused... But this wasn’t all because of Nina. This was also because of the war. Soldiers saw things that civilians couldn’t even imagine, and when they got home again, it sure didn’t help to return to a nasty surprise.
Should I have told him?
How could she ever be sure? What she knew was that Brody was home, and her job had just begun.
“Here are your pills,” Kaitlyn said, setting the glass of water next to him and unscrewing the cap to the bottle. “Now, it’s important that you never take more than the recommended dose of these. They’re strong.”
“I’m not suicidal.” Brody held out his hand for the pills, then tossed them back with a sip of water. “Thanks.”
“I was more concerned with addiction,” she retorted.
Brody laughed softly. “I’m not an addict, either.”
“Good.”
He turned toward her, dark eyes locking on to her face. “Did you think I’d change that much?”
Brody had been a fun-loving guy with an infectious laugh. He’d been tall and muscular, but he’d bulked up even more since he left, and his lean muscle had turned hard and thick. His hair had been a tousled mess of glossy curls, and now he had that standard-issue army buzz cut—but it didn’t hurt his looks any. It seemed to suit the new him.
“I don’t know,” she replied honestly. “Life changes everyone, and you’ve seen more than most.”
“Yeah, well...” He leaned back in his chair, wincing as he got settled. “You’ve changed, too.”
“Have I?” She grabbed his medications chart and wrote in his dose. “I feel like the only one who hasn’t changed around here.”
“You grew up.” His voice was low and quiet. “When I left, you were a kid.”
“When you left, I was a woman,” she replied evenly. She’d been twenty-two when he left for the army, and that hardly constituted a “kid.” But she’d never looked quite as womanly as Nina had. Nina had eclipsed her quite easily, it seemed, all pouty lips and swaying hips. Kaitlyn hadn’t had a chance. She had been a tamer version of her sister in every way. Her hair was dark auburn compared to Nina’s fiery red, and her figure was slim, her breasts smaller, her expression direct and frank. Nina had a way of looking up through her lashes that stopped men in their tracks. When Kaitlyn was a teenager, she’d tried to imitate her older sister’s sultry pout in the mirror, and she’d cracked herself up. She looked ridiculous, and she’d decided then and there to simply be herself—a brave stance for someone in the shadow of Hope, Montana’s sexiest available woman.
But not so available anymore.
While Kaitlyn had resented what her sister did to Brody, having Nina both married and moved to the city had been a strange relief. For the first time in her life, Kaitlyn felt like she could breathe a little deeper, expand a little more. With Nina in the room, there had hardly seemed to be enough oxygen for the both of them—and what Nina wanted, Nina got.
“Last year I missed our dads’ birthdays,” Brody said after a moment. “I kept thinking of the feast you all would be eating.”
Kaitlyn’s father, Ron, and Brody’s father, Ken, had birthdays in the same week. The men had been close since elementary school. For as long as Kaitlyn could remember, both families had been celebrating those February birthdays together with a trail ride and a massive meal.
“Last year half of us got food poisoning, so you weren’t missing out on as much as you thought,” she replied with a wry smile. “Someone thought clams would be a great birthday meal. Wow. It was bad... The trail ride didn’t happen. Brian landed in the hospital with some Gravol on IV.”
“You emailed me about that.” His smiled slipped, and she knew what he was thinking. She shouldn’t have mentioned Brian. She grimaced.
“Nothing had happened then between Brian and Nina—that I knew of, at least,” Kaitlyn said. “We were all friends with Brian, you know that.”
“Yeah. Solid guy.” Brody’s tone dripped sarcasm, and Kaitlyn couldn’t blame him.
They remained silent for a couple of minutes, and Kaitlyn remembered how different everything had been a year ago. They’d been proud of Brody, and scared for him. They’d been happy about Nina and Brody’s engagement. Nina had spent hours staring at the ring on her finger, and Kaitlyn had been determined to sort through her own feelings of jealousy privately. She was happy for her sister—of course, she was—and she’d never really believed that Brody would look twice at her with Nina in the same hemisphere anyway. But it still stung, knowing she was destined to be half in love with her brother-in-law for the foreseeable future.
“Are you all still doing the trail ride this year?” Brody asked.
“I imagine so,” Kaitlyn replied. “It’s tradition, isn’t it?”
“Good,” he said. “I’m going to ride, too.”
Kaitlyn frowned, silently considering the options. Trail rides were narrow and bumpy, and she couldn’t responsibly give him enough pain meds to dull that kind of agony. He seemed to read her thoughts.
“It isn’t hard riding by any stretch. You know that, Kate. I’ve been riding since before I could walk, and I’m not sitting back at the house with the cooks.”
“You’ve earned a rest,” she said. “You’re the resident hero, after all.”
“Don’t use that word with me.” His voice turned gruff and stony. “I’m riding. Period.”
There was no invitation for discussion. He’d been through a nightmare in Afghanistan, and she could only guess at the memories he carried with him. He wanted to heal and recover, and that solidity of mind was important. They’d just have to work toward his goal. Even if he wasn’t strong enough to ride in time, he’d at least have something to work toward. And once it got closer to the trail ride, he’d be able to see the futility of putting his body through that kind of punishment. There was no use in breaking his spirit now.
“You want to ride?” she said with a smile. “All right. That’s our goal. Let’s see what we can do.”
“Good.” Brody smiled faintly. “And I’m serious, Kate. Don’t go easy on me.”
“I had no intention of it,” she retorted. “I’ll be a regular drill sergeant. You’ll think longingly of your boot camp days.”
Brody chuckled, then sighed. “Why am I so tired all of a sudden?”
“It’s the pills. Sleep is good for you. Get some rest.”
Brody nodded and leaned his head against the back of the chair. She quelled the urge to brush a hand against his forehead. She didn’t want to go hard on Brody—she wanted to give him the safe, warm place to heal that he so de
sperately needed, but he didn’t want those things from her. That had been Nina’s domain.
Kaitlyn would have to get over these feelings for him, because a future with Brody was an absolute impossibility. Before it was because he was engaged to her sister, and now, even with Nina safely out of the picture, anything developing between them was equally impossible.
Kaitlyn had lived in her sister’s shadow her entire life, and she refused to stay there in the heart of the man she loved.
On the fireplace mantle, a tattered slip of red paper caught her eye. She paused, stepped closer to look and a lump rose in her throat as she recognized it—a kid’s vintage Valentine’s card that she’d slipped into his luggage before he left for boot camp. They used to joke about the little sayings on those cards—corny lines that could end up being eerily prophetic. So she’d slipped one in his bag that said, “You’re brave, Valentine.” It went along with a joke they’d shared that it took a big man to take on a woman as high maintenance as Nina was. She thought he’d get a laugh out of it...but it looked like he’d done one more than that, and had kept it.
Kaitlyn shut her eyes against the wave of emotion. How she’d longed to say more than “You’re brave.” She’d wanted to say, “You hold my heart.” She’d wanted to say, “Do whatever you have to in order to get back here alive.”
For now, she’d do her duty and get Brody back in the saddle, or as close to it as she could. And maybe in the process, she’d be able to work through a few of these feelings and put them to rest for good. She had some healing to do, too.
Chapter Two
Brody woke with a start, his heart thudding hollowly in his ears. The dream was still fresh in his mind—fire, explosions, fear mingling with his training. In his dream, he pulled himself across the dusty ground, a trail of fresh blood behind him, and he grabbed at Jeff’s hand, only to realize his hand was all that was left of him. He always woke at the same place, with the hand clutched in his, rubbery and limp.
Brody swallowed the bile that rose in his throat, and he sucked in a wavering lungful of air. This had been his first night back home, and he’d slept in the visitor’s bedroom on the main floor. There had been no way he was hopping up those stairs last night, and so they’d settled him down here. It was just as well—he wasn’t sure how he’d feel about sleeping in his old bedroom anyway. His sister’s room was directly above him, and glancing at the clock, he realized that she’d already be out doing chores. It was past four in the morning.
I should be out there, too.
He rubbed his hands over his face and grimaced as he sat up. His leg throbbed. If things were different, he’d already be out in the frigid January air. He’d be driving out to the herds with a pickup bed full of hay, and he’d bring a shovel to break the ice that would cover the cattle’s water troughs. He’d always wanted to join the army, but that hadn’t emptied the cowboy out of him. There was something about the crisp air at dawn and the lowing of cattle that soothed his soul like nothing else, and right now, he could use a little soothing, but he hardly felt like he deserved it.
Jeff had had a wife and three small kids waiting for him, and he’d returned home in a box. Jeff’s wife would have been given a flag in her husband’s honor, and those little kids would never see their dad again. Jeff always had pictures in his pocket, and he’d show them to anyone who would look. Three blond, blue-eyed kids, the youngest of which looked like she could barely walk. So when Brody got back to American soil to find out his fiancée hadn’t waited for him, it hardly seemed fair that he should be the one to come back alive.
He just hadn’t counted on the dreams. Other guys had mentioned them—the haunting nightmares that came back every time they shut their eyes, but somehow he’d thought he’d be immune. He was tough—but not that tough, apparently.
He grabbed the bottle of pills on his nightstand and shook two into his palm. They’d help with the pain. He’d have to remember what time he took them so he could tell Kaitlyn when she arrived.
Kaitlyn as his nurse was hard to wrap his head around. She’d been attending nursing school when he left, but he’d never really imagined her in the role. Her aunt, Bernice Harpe, was the local nurse—a solid woman of sixty. Kaitlyn had always been Nina’s younger sister to him, sitting with textbooks and paper spread in front of her at the kitchen table. When he thought of Kaitlyn, he saw her with a backpack and her hair pulled into a ponytail. And a year later, she was his nurse—cleaning his wounds, checking his stitches, noting his medication. And she was bossy, too.
Swallowing the pills, he dropped back onto his pillow. Everything had changed since his return. The shock of Nina’s marriage was starting to wear off, and while he’d been sure that underneath that shock was some heartbreak and pain, right now he felt relief. He’d been absolutely positive that Nina was the woman for him before he left for the army, but after boot camp and eleven months in the desert with spiders as big as his hand, he’d done a lot of changing, too. He wasn’t the same guy who left town a little over a year ago, and while he’d hoped he could pick up where he left off at home, he’d been wrong.
Maybe Nina marrying someone else was for the best. He couldn’t really imagine her nursing him back to health anyway. He’d been the one to take care of her, not the other way around. She’d been flirtatious and fun, and incredibly high maintenance. That engagement ring had set him back significantly more than three months’ salary. If she’d waited for him, he’d have had to face that look of disappointment when she realized the husband she’d be saddled with—wounded, bitter, broken. Maybe it was all for the best... The pain had dulled—still there but somehow far away—and his eyes drooped shut.
Several hours later, Brody awoke again, this time to a soft tap on his door. He pulled his blanket over his waist to keep himself decent and called, “Yeah?”
The door opened to reveal Kaitlyn. She wore a pair of jeans and a white cotton shirt that brought out the contrast between her milky skin and the auburn waves that fell behind her shoulders. That sure beat waking up to Afghanistan.
“Morning,” she said. “How did you sleep?”
“Like the medicated.”
“I guess that’s to be expected,” she said with a chuckle. “What time did you take your pills last night?”
“Four in the morning.”
She jotted it down on a chart, then pulled out a roll of gauze. “I’m going to change your dressing this morning. Are you okay with that?”
Her tone was professional and slightly distanced. He might as well be in the hospital again with the kind but unrecognizable nursing staff that moved through his room like clockwork. He didn’t like this side to Kaitlyn—and while he appreciated her attempt to put him at ease, maybe he didn’t need to be at ease. A few messy, personal connections were better than sterile professionalism, where the emptiness was filled by the clamor of his memories.
“How come you’re being so formal?” he asked with a grimace.
“I’m your nurse. You’re my patient. It’s a different relationship, and you need to be able to trust me for your medical concerns.”
“I’d trust you a whole lot more if you didn’t sound like a stranger,” he said.
Kaitlyn smiled and shrugged—suddenly she looked like the same old Kate who used to beat him at cards.
“That’s more like it,” he said. “I’m still me, and you’re still you.”
“Except you have to do as I say,” she said, a teasing smile tugging at one side of her lips.
“Yeah, yeah.” She was right—he was at a distinct disadvantage...especially waking up to Kaitlyn coming into his room first thing in the morning before he was dressed and steeled to the day. At least it was cold enough that he’d worn an army-issue undershirt to bed so she wasn’t staring at him bare chested.
“All right,” she said, kneeling next to the bed. “Let’s s
ee the leg.”
Brody tossed the covers back to expose his leg, and she went to work. She moved with confidence, peeling back bandages, easing gauze away from the wounds. She made little sympathetic sounds when gauze stuck to stitches.
“Wiggle your toes,” she instructed.
He complied, and she looked satisfied. “Does that hurt to move them?”
“No.”
“Good sign.” She took his foot in her hand and moved his ankle in a full rotation, then jotted something in a notebook. “How is the pain right now on a scale of one to ten?”
“Ten being?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“When I saw you yesterday,” she said.
So she’d noticed how bad his pain was the day before. That was somehow gratifying. He wasn’t the complaining type, but he also didn’t want to suffer for days unnecessarily, either.
“About a six,” he said.
“And you’re—” she looked at her watch “—just about due for your next dose. So that’s an improvement.”
“Why not just ask if I’m feeling any better?” Brody asked.
“Because you’d tell me you were even if you weren’t,” she retorted.
She had a point. “Okay, fine.”
“So now I want you to stand up,” she said, pushing herself to her feet. She stood beside the bed, hands folded in front of her and a no-nonsense look on her face.
“What?” He pushed himself up onto his elbows. “Right now?”
“Yes, right now.”
“You’re not going to give me pain meds first?”
“No.” She met his gaze evenly, and Brody heaved a sigh. “If you don’t start putting some weight on that leg, it’ll only get harder.”
Brody pushed the covers back and Kaitlyn bent to help lift his injured limb over the side of the bed. Every movement was a fresh blaze of pain, and he closed his eyes against it, willing his stomach to settle. He felt vulnerable sitting here in an undershirt and a pair of army-issue shorts. His muscles were tense along his shoulders, and he sucked in a sharp breath.
The Cowboy's Valentine Bride Page 2
