by Alexa Land
I nodded, then looked down at the asphalt. Kieran reached out and took hold of my chin, gently tilting my head up until I met his gaze. “You ok?”
I should have just blurted it out, I should have told him I was a prostitute. It felt wrong to keep that from him. But God, I so desperately wanted the chance to get to be someone else for a whole weekend, and to spend time with a sweet, beautiful man that didn’t think of me as a whore.
“Having second thoughts again?” he said softly, misinterpreting my hesitation. “If you don’t want to do this, I understand. To be honest, I’m nervous about it, too.”
I tilted my head back to look up at him and gave him a little grin. “What would you have to be nervous about?”
His answer absolutely floored me. “I’ve never been with a man before, Christopher,” he confessed. “But I want to take the leap. I’m so attracted to you that I’m just letting it propel me past the out-and-out terror of finally doing the thing I’ve been thinking about forever.” He smiled a little. “That’s what I have to be nervous about.”
My shock must have been spelled out all over my face. “So, you’re actually willing to lose your virginity with me?”
“I’m not a virgin. I’ve been with women,” he said embarrassedly.
“But never a man.”
“No, never a man.”
“Do you want to top or bottom?”
He broke eye contact as he mumbled shyly, “Bottom.” Then he looked up at me and asked worriedly, “Is that what you were expecting from me? Because I’ll do whatever you want.”
It was ideal, actually. I preferred to top, but usually bottomed for my job. “That’s perfect,” I said reassuringly, and he looked relieved. “I just have to ask though, why are you doing this now?”
“Because you feel like the right guy, and it feels like the right time. Plus,” he said with a little grin, “this might sound stupid, but I made a New Year’s resolution to finally come out, and embrace the fact that I’m gay. This is a pretty huge step toward that goal.”
“Kieran, are you sure you’re ready for this? And are you sure I’m the one you want to be with for your first time? Don’t you want to wait until you’re in a relationship?”
He shook his head. “I’m not at a place in my life where I want a relationship. I guess I should tell you that up front, too. I’m not looking for anything long-term. Is that ok?”
“Yeah. I’m actually on the same page.”
“Ok, that’s good.”
After a moment, I said, “We should probably get in the car. It’s a long drive to Tahoe.”
He looked surprised. “Really? I was sure you were going to back out, that you’d changed your mind about me.”
“Oh no, definitely not.” I leaned in and kissed him tenderly.
I had this odd urge to protect him all of a sudden, to keep him safe now that I realized what was on the line. My own first time had been terrible, both of us completely inexperienced, and I didn’t want that for Kieran. The fact that he was so willing to give himself to a stranger was frightening, he could have easily ended up with the wrong person, and this could have been miserable for him.
So to come back around to my earlier dilemma, maybe it ultimately didn’t matter much who or what I was. Maybe the important part was that I would take excellent care of Kieran and make sure his first time with a man was pleasurable. This was just one weekend, he didn’t want anything long-term anyway, so what difference did it make if he knew I was a prostitute? Maybe my job was even a positive. He’d put himself in the hands of a seasoned professional, after all, and I could make sure he loved every minute of this.
“Come on,” I said, touching his face gently. “Let’s get going.”
Chapter Five
I awoke in Kieran’s arms, warm and comfortable. It was a more than three hour drive from San Francisco to Lake Tahoe, and we had been so exhausted when we got to the cabin sometime early that morning that we’d tumbled into bed and fallen asleep immediately.
A fire burned in a big river rock fireplace to our left, clusters of rustic tchotchkes dotting the mantel – salmon carved out of wood, and that sort of thing. The walls and floors of the cabin were cedar, and cheerful plaid curtains framed picture windows that provided a great view of lovely sapphire blue Lake Tahoe some distance below us.
I sat up and pushed my unruly hair out of my eyes, and gave him a smile as I said good morning. Sunlight spilled across his face, and I noticed for the first time the tiny freckles scattered across his nose and cheekbones, subtle and oh so very cute.
Kieran looked like he’d been awake for a while. He’d changed into a white t-shirt and pajama bottoms, his hair was combed, and he smelled like toothpaste. He tucked an arm behind his head and smiled up at me. “Good morning to you, too.”
“No fair,” I said. “You got up and groomed, and I’m all gross and disheveled.”
“You look beautiful,” he told me.
I grinned at that. “Liar. There’s nothing pretty about bedhead and morning breath. I’m going to use the restroom and do something about all of this. Don’t go anywhere.” I found my backpack and carried it into the restroom with me.
When I emerged a couple minutes later, Kieran was right where I left him. I didn’t look much better. My hair was still out of control, and my clothes – which I’d slept in – were a wrinkled mess. But at least I too now smelled like toothpaste. I bent over the bed and kissed him, and he pulled me down on top of him and deepened the kiss.
I could feel his cock hardening beneath me, and I parted his legs by climbing between them as my tongue caressed his. I sat up a bit, pulled his white t-shirt over his head and murmured, “God you look good.” As much as I disdained the gym hound lifestyle, the end results were undeniably impressive. He had big biceps and strong, broad shoulders, a sculpted chest and perfectly defined abs. I kissed my way down his body, then tugged at the drawstring on his red flannel pajama pants and pulled them down a few inches. He was already fairly hard, and I took his thick cock between my lips as he drew in his breath and ran his fingers into my hair.
It was difficult not to switch over into automatic pilot as I sucked him. Sex for me was usually totally impersonal – my body went through the motions while my mind stayed safely detached, distant. I’d been a prostitute for the last five years, it was all I knew anymore. Sure, I had a little casual sex from time to time. But I’d checked out during most of those encounters too, and just let whatever random guy I was with use me to get off. That was basically what sex was to me.
But I didn’t want to do that now, not with Kieran. He – and I – deserved better. I looked up at him as I slid my lips up and down his thick shaft. He had propped himself up on his elbows, watching me, his breath fast and shallow. As we made eye contact, he moaned, “Oh God Christopher, yes.” That helped root me in the moment. I wasn’t Christopher when I was working, I was Austin, the fake name helping to distance me from the job.
I stayed locked on those gorgeous blue eyes as I took my time sucking him, massaging his balls gently as he moaned with pleasure. Eventually I picked up my pace, sucking him harder and faster, building his climax. Soon his cock twitched, and I knew he was going to cum a moment before he told me.
I slid him out of my mouth and started to pump his shaft with one hand, still caressing his balls with the other, and Kieran arched up off the bed, crying out, thrusting into my hand as he emptied himself across his stomach and chest. I loved seeing him like that, lost in the pleasure, as he braced himself against the mattress, his hands grasping the sheets. I milked him right to the end of his orgasm, then brought him down slowly with a few more gentle strokes until he was completely sated.
He couldn’t speak for a few moments, trying to catch his breath, his body shaking. I took the opportunity to grab some tissues from the nightstand and clean him up, then laid down beside him. Kieran rolled toward me and pulled me into his arms, and kissed me before saying softly, “Thank you, Christopher.�
� He grinned at me and added, “That was intense. I thought I knew what a great blow job felt like, but I had no idea until today.”
His lips found mine again, and after just a few minutes he’d revved right back up. My cock throbbed as Kieran’s hands fumbled with my belt. When he got my zipper down he slid his hand into my jeans, caressing my hard-on through my briefs. His other hand ran up my back, under my shirt.
We were chest-to-chest, and I could feel his heart racing. Only some of that was arousal. He was in unfamiliar territory, he’d never even touched a man before. When he pulled back to look at me, still gently rubbing my cock through my underwear, there was such raw vulnerability in his eyes. “Is this ok?” he asked, his voice a rough whisper.
“Perfect.”
After I pulled my t-shirt and sweatshirt off over my head, he bent down and sucked one of my nipples. I rolled onto my back for him, and he sat up and tugged my jeans and underwear off, then my socks. His fingertips explored my naked body, gently, carefully, while he dotted kisses on my chest, my neck, my stomach. At one point, he ran his tongue up my shaft slowly, almost experimentally, before kissing his way back up my stomach and chest, kind of easing his way into all of this.
I was embarrassed by how thin I was, my ribs and hip bones clearly defined under my pale skin, and worried that Kieran would find it unappealing. But his expression as he circled his fingertip over my little pink nipple was blissful. I couldn’t imagine why he’d denied his sexuality for so long, but now that he’d decided to take this huge step, I was so glad to see he was clearly enjoying this, and enjoying me.
Unbidden, memories of my own first time so many years ago crowded my consciousness. It had been horribly painful, hurried, my boyfriend Jason as inexperienced as I was. He took me with only a little spit for lube and no preparation, because neither of us knew any better. I cried all the way through it. I’d been so young, so stupid. I’d thought I loved him, and would have done anything for him.
Jason devastated me, tore my heart out in ways I hadn’t even imagined possible, just a few months after taking my virginity. I tried never to think about it…or him.
To distract myself from thinking of it now, I rolled over so I was on top of Kieran and kissed him deeply, straddling his body. His hands slid up my back, holding me to him. He’d relaxed over the last few minutes, but now his heart was again beating wildly – he was nervous about what was going to happen.
“You sure about this? Absolutely sure?” I asked, cupping his face in my hands and looking into his eyes.
He nodded. “I’m ready to do this, I’ve been ready for a while.”
“I’m going to make this so good for you, Kieran,” I promised before my lips found his again.
I stroked his hard cock as I kissed him, then got the lube out of my backpack and put a little on my fingertip before massaging his opening. As he spread his legs for me I asked, “Have you ever had anything in you?”
He shook his head and grinned embarrassedly. “I’ve been tempted to put toys in me, but I was pretty sure it’d hurt.”
I carefully slid my finger into him, working him open slowly. “That feels good,” he murmured. He scooped up my free hand with both of his and held it against his chest as I went a little deeper, as if comforting himself with it. That gesture struck me as really touching somehow.
It took a long time, but eventually I worked a second finger into him, getting him ready to take me, sliding my fingers in and out of his tight little opening. I ran my other hand down his body and wrapped it around his hard cock, stroking him as I prepared him. He looked so sexy splayed out on the bed, eyes closed and lips parted as he gently rocked his hips, thrusting into my palm and riding my fingers.
Finally when I knew he was ready, I eased out of him and rolled on a condom, then worked more lube into him. Kieran propped himself up on his elbows and watched as I lined up my cock with his little hole, then pushed gently. He drew in his breath when the tip entered him and he looked up at me, maintaining eye contact as I held still, letting him get used to it. When I felt him relax a little, I slowly slid into him. “You doing ok, Kieran?” I asked when I had a couple inches in him. He nodded, but even through his arousal I could see fear in his eyes. “You sure you want me to keep going?” I asked gently.
“Yes. Oh God, please don’t stop,” he whispered. I dropped down on top of him and kissed him as he held on to me, returning the kiss, parting his lips for me.
I pushed into him a little deeper, then began sliding in and out of him, and he gasped against my mouth before murmuring, “God yes Christopher, fuck me.” I took him a little harder, and he moaned and started rocking up off the bed in sync with my thrusts. I could feel the shift in his body, fear and tension finally falling away, pleasure taking over.
It felt so incredibly good to be inside him. I raised myself up just a little to look into his eyes, the connection between us electric. He smiled at me, and he was so gorgeous, so sweet and sexy and trusting. I took him deeper still, working myself into him until he’d taken all of my length.
I raised up off of him just enough to reach his cock, and began stroking him as I fucked him. After a few minutes he cried out and came across his stomach and chest, and seeing that triggered my own orgasm. I yelled as I came and he grabbed my ass, pulling me even deeper into him as I thrust again and again. When I was spent, I laid down on his chest and his hands slid up my back, holding me to him as we both caught our breath.
Kieran tilted my chin up and kissed me before saying, his eyes sparkling, “That was absolutely amazing.”
I smiled self-consciously and eased out of him, holding the condom in place, then discarded it in the trash before collapsing beside him. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me again. God he could kiss. We stayed like that for quite a while, kissing and caressing, all wrapped up in one another.
It was hard to end it, but we were both a sticky mess. Eventually I sat up and said, “I’m going to get a shower. Want to join me?”
“Absolutely.” He grinned and swung out of bed, and I took a moment to admire the view as he headed into the bathroom. He had a dimple above each smooth, perfectly sculpted butt cheek, which was sexy as hell. I smiled and hurried after him.
Showering together was sweet and sensual at the same time. Kieran washed me gently, then held still and let me wash him. He seemed to take great pleasure in being washed, giving in to a passive side of him that I guessed didn’t show up in his day-to-day life very often. When we got out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and sat on the counter beside the sink, drying him carefully. I ran the towel down first one arm, then the other, and turned his big left hand over in both of mine. A healing cut ran the length of his thumb.
“That looks like it must have been painful.”
“It was. I took some time off right after Christmas to reroof my house, and did that when I was peeling off the old shingles with a metal scraper. I have a really bad habit of daydreaming when I’m right in the middle of something. I’m lucky that all I did was cut my thumb, I could have tumbled off the roof.”
“What were you daydreaming about?”
“You.”
I smiled at that. “Bullshit.”
He grinned too. “I know that sounds like a total line, but it’s actually true. I kept replaying that kiss under the mistletoe over and over in my head. I almost convinced myself it had to be a dream, because no kiss was ever that good.” Kieran stepped closer and took me in his arms. “But then my dream boy turned out to be real.” His kiss was just as smoking hot as that first one.
When we finally broke apart, Kieran said, “I want you to take me right back to bed, but if we do that, we’ll starve. Let’s get dressed, and I’ll take you to a great local diner. After that I’ll show you my favorite spot on the lake, and on the way back here we can pick up some groceries. That way we won’t have to leave the cabin for the rest of the weekend.”
I didn’t eat anything when we got to the diner, claiming
not to be hungry. Kieran obviously thought that was odd, but was polite enough not to say anything. After lunch, he drove part way around the lake and pulled into an empty parking lot. It was really cold with plenty of snow on the ground, but the sun was shining. Kieran handed me a thick, cream-colored fisherman sweater from the back seat of his car. I pulled it on over my sweatshirt, rolling back the sleeves, and he took my hand and led me into a stunningly beautiful little cove.
“This is Sand Harbor,” he said. “It’s been my favorite place in the world since I was little.”
The cove was scattered with big round boulders and punctuated with snowy pine trees. The sky today was a vivid blue, but it paled in comparison to the lake. The water was a deep, sparkling sapphire and incredibly clear, the rocky bottom perfectly visible. I’d never seen anyplace so beautiful.
Kieran walked up to the water’s edge and crouched down, trailing his fingertips across the surface of the lake. After a while he said quietly, “My great grandfather built the cabin in the 1920s, and my mother inherited it about fifteen years ago. Mom passed away when I was eleven, and when my dad died a few months ago, both the cabin and our house went to my brother and me. It still seems weird that it’s mine now.”
“I’m sorry about your parents.”
“Thanks. And sorry that I accidentally just violated the no-painful-backstories rule we established for this weekend.” He grinned a bit, picked up a smooth little stone and stood up, then threw it side-armed across the surface of the water. The pebble skipped five times before disappearing below the lake’s tranquil surface. It was such a cute, boyish thing to do that it made me smile.
