by Lee, Liz
His hand came close to hers, close enough that she felt the hint of heat from his skin, but he didn’t touch her. Didn’t even try. She told herself that was a good thing when he moved back to his side of the table. His side. Exactly where he’d sat for years.
Well, where he’d sat when he was home.
Which had been sporadic at best.
There it was. Patty snagged on to the memory of loneliness like it was a lifeline.
“You two go ahead and play. Pretend I’m not here.”
That might have been easier if she hadn’t moaned in appreciation at the taste of Sam’s cooking. It was a crying shame the man could cook like this.
Cheesy goodness exploded with savory noodles and spicy meat and she wanted to die. “You used full fat ricotta didn’t you?”
“Full fat everything, darlin’. No corners cut for my girls. You know that.”
The wine glass was inches from her mouth when he answered so casually. Patty felt like her world stopped at the words my girls, but no one else seemed a bit fazed. That scared her. Cadyn could be hurt by this. They didn’t need to confuse her.
She was torn between pleading exhaustion and going to her room and continuing as if everything were perfectly normal. She didn’t think she could be this divorced family. She couldn’t sit and watch Sam play games with Cadyn and Cadyn look up at Sam with obvious hero worship all while eating an amazing dinner prepared by the man who’d been everything to her until he’d walked away.
She drained her wine glass, wished it were the whole freaking bottle, tilted her head to one side then the other trying to work out the kinks.
“I guess I should thank you for fixing stuff up around the house.”
Good. She sounded normal.
“Not a problem,” Sam said. “Cadyn helped. And I figure it’s the least I can do.”
The least he could do. That was funny. Like chores around the house would cancel out leaving them and nearly dying.
Okay. Yeah. She couldn’t do this.
She put her fork down and stood. She should make him leave now, but he was here because she’d had the meeting and rude wasn’t an option. Not while Cadyn was sitting in the room.
“Let me,” Sam started to get up, but she shook her head and held out her hand.
“No, really. I can get this.”
She took the half full plate of food into the kitchen, scraped it into the garbage disposal and turned it on. The growling machine matched the growl in her brain. Her head hurt, her feet hurt, the skirt on her black suit was too tight and she was pretty sure her arm pits were sweaty which would play all kinds of hell on the emerald silk shirt she was wearing. On top of that she was wearing panty hose. She hated panty hose. But the new superintendent wanted admin in executive dress every day but Friday.
She heard Sam walk into the kitchen and steeled herself for whatever was up next.
“Bad day, huh?”
He had no clue. “It was a day, and now it’s over, thank God.”
Sam touched her shoulder, and she froze. His scent enveloped her and she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply wishing more than anything she could lean into him, let him in. But she couldn’t.
“For what it’s worth, you look like you could kick ass and take names today,” he said.
And suddenly the black patent leather heels were worth it.
“Thanks, Sam,” she said opening the dishwasher to put the plate in.
And of course everything was in the wrong place. She started to move the small plates around, but Sam stopped her.
“Cadyn and I have kitchen duty. The dishes will be done. Promise.”
Dammit, dammit, dammit. She focused on the fork in her hand until she felt calm enough to speak.
“We can’t do this, Sam. We’re not the happy little family.”
“It’s dishes, Patty. Not a proposal.”
Okay. She could handle that.
“And,” he said, “Cadyn bet me an extra family dinner with Nick that you wouldn’t let it go.”
Problem solved.
Patty turned and gave him the plate. “I’m going to take a bath. Tell Cadyn to lock the door when you leave.”
He laughed and she looked up into his green eyes and wished she could touch his face. But she couldn’t. Those days were done. And that was okay.
Only instead of letting that be the end of it, Sam stepped closer to her and she thought he was going to try to kiss her, but all he did was brush a piece of hair behind her ear.
“I like it short,” he said. “It suits you.”
She didn’t tell him she’d cut it the day she’d had the lawyer draw up the papers. Didn’t tell him she’d done it to signify the end of what was and the beginning of what would be.
“Does it hurt?” She couldn’t believe she’d asked the question out loud, but standing there so close, looking at his face, she had to know.
He blinked in question and she pointed to the place on his eye. “The scars. Are you in pain?”
Every. Damn. Day.
That’s what Sam wanted to say. But he wouldn’t. Because Patty wasn’t asking about being away from her and Cadyn. She was asking about the injuries he’d suffered at the hands of the terrorists who’d kidnapped him on assignment.
He wanted desperately to kiss her, to remind her of their chemistry. Dammit, she was going to take a bath. He wanted to follow her down the hall stripping one piece of that suit off at a time until they both fell into the deep tub he’d installed for her after one of the long term assignments but before he’d promised to be home for good.
He wouldn’t do that though, because that wasn’t going to win Patty. His wife needed something more than great sex. That part of their relationship had never been lacking.
“It does sometimes,” he said answering her question. “My knees and shoulders more than anything else.”
She nodded and bit her lip and he knew she was conflicted and he’d take that as a victory any day.
“You go take your bath, I’ll tell Cadyn to lock up and maybe one day we can have coffee or something and I’ll tell you the story about when the US Army saved my skin. You used to like it when I told you stories.”
Her skin pinked at his words and Sam knew Patty was remembering all the times they’d laid in bed talking for hours after his months away. He might have been a sorry son of a bitch for answering that phone call that took him on one last assignment, but their life hadn’t been all bad. He needed her to remember that if he had a chance to win her back.
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad,” she said.
“Glad?” It was his turn to be confused.
“Glad they saved your skin. You have very nice skin, Sam Jackson.”
And with that she ducked away from him and walked down the hall, head high, hips boom-chicka-boom in that skirt, legs a mile long in those heels. Oh yeah. His wife was as sexy as they came. And she was warming to him.
WIth a light heart he loaded her dishes into the dishwasher, put the leftovers in the fridge and tried not to envision naked Patty when he heard the bath water start.
When he walked back into the dining room, Cadyn was texting away on her phone. Kids these days.
“You are one family dinner with Nick down, sweetheart. Your Momma didn’t so much as put a piece of silverware in the dishwasher.”
Cadyn jumped and smacked her phone face down on the table.
And yeah, that was probably bad news.
“You’re not talking to some fifty-year-old pervert or planning world domination there, are you?”
“Daaaddy,” Cadyn said rolling her eyes. “I’m just talking to my friends about you. And Mom.”
Ohhhhhhhhh. Sam’s heart fell at her words and he sat then leaned forward. “Cadyn, hon, you know….”
“I’m not a baby, Daddy. I know you and Mom are divorced, which makes me from a broken home.” She sighed so loudly at the end of the statement, he figured the next door neighbors could hear it.
“Layin
g it on a bit thick,” he said.
She smiled. “Like you and the lasagna.”
So she’d figured him out. Well, that wasn’t surprising. Cadyn had her mother’s brains, that was for sure.
“Cadyn….”
She stopped him, looking so much like Patty when she held up her hand and tilted her chin in that stubborn little motion it nearly took his breath away.
“Like I said, Daddy, I’m not a little kid. I get it. You might not win Mom back. And I’ll be okay if that happens. Just, you should know, I’m on your side.”
And then she put the box on top of the game and reached over to hug him. “I love you. And I know Mom does, too.”
He wanted to warn her that love wasn’t enough sometimes. But he didn’t want to spoil that innocence in her. Not yet.
“I love you,” he said, reaching over to kiss the top of her head and then closing his eyes and thanking God for miracles when she wrapped him in a big bear hug.
“You’re the best, Dad.”
When he left the house, Sam felt years lighter. He might not have won, but he’d certainly made inroads with Patty. And time with Cadyn was always a good thing. Life was looking better than it had in a very long time.
Half-way through the next day at work, Patty closed her office door and called Ida Mae.
She needed a sounding board, and she trusted the woman with her life.
“Ida Mae, I think this is an emergency,” she said whispering.
And Ida Mae laughed, which wasn’t exactly what Patty wanted to hear.
“He’s driving me insane. He made me dinner last night. And he…I don’t know. It’s the craziest thing. He’s helping around the house and playing games with Cadyn, and it’s…not what I expected.”
Ida Mae chuckled again. “I told you Sam was intent on winning you back. I told Sam it wouldn’t be easy. Sounds like maybe it’s going to be hard for both of you in different ways.”
Ugh. Ida Mae was like Yoda which meant her answers weren’t always easy to decipher at first.
“I don’t want to go down that road again, Ida Mae. It hurt too bad.”
Patty could hear Ida Mae nodding through the phone and that made her feel better. Just knowing Ida Mae truly understood helped.
“I’d say let’s meet for coffee after work, but I’ve got my grandbabies tonight, so that’s out.”
Patty looked down at her calendar and all its color coded boxes and wished she had a color for Sam. He’d never been on her calendar, though. He’d never been on it because for years she hadn’t known when he would be in town and then she thought every day was a Sam day. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“I shouldn’t have bothered you,” she said feeling foolish. “I just can’t get Sam out of my brain and it’s messing with everything. I’ve been late to three evaluations today, and I sent two students back to class out of dress code. Thank God Becky caught them and made them put on sweats or the teachers would have wanted me dead.”
“Here’s what I think,” Ida Mae said and Patty held her breath hoping for the answer. “You’ve got to trust your gut, and you’ve got to be honest with Sam. I’m not sure you’ve ever done either of those with him other than when you were kids and you decided he was the one for you.”
Ida Mae’s words stunned Patty on so many levels she wasn’t aware of her office phone ringing at first.
She needed to process. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Ida Mae knew that truth. Knew she hadn’t exactly chosen Sam. He’d just been. Simple as that.
She’d gone to see him every day while he was in that coma. She’d read to him and played him hours of Mozart and when he’d woken up, she’d made it her goal to help him get better. And when he was better, she loved him. It was that simple. But nothing after was simple. Especially when he started traveling across the world to tell stories that broke her heart. They’d talked about it and she’d sworn she was fine with him leaving.
And it had been a lie. She didn’t want him to go. But she wanted him to choose her without her saying a word. Wanted him to choose her when she worked hard to show him his absences weren’t bad. Wanted him to choose her when she met him at exotic locations around the world and smiled and told him everything was okay.
And then he did choose her. And she thought it had all changed because he told her he wasn’t leaving again. Something had happened with the reporter he worked with. Something that shook him up enough to make him want to be home with her and Cadyn. But even then she hadn’t told him the truth.
“I don’t know if I can trust my gut,” she said. “It likes Sam way too much.”
Ida Mae’s long hmmmmm told Patty what her friend thought about that.
Two lines on her office phone lit up now and she groaned. “I’ve got to go. But you’ve given me a lot to think about. Thank you, Ida Mae.”
“Any time, Patty. Love you bunches. It will be okay. You’re one smart cookie.”
By the end of the day Patty felt like anything but a smart cookie. Coffee with Ida Mae was out. Maybe Becky would be up for drinks. They usually reserved drink dates to Fridays and Red Pen Intervention. She, Becky and one of the guidance counselors, Meg Crawley, tried to meet for RPI regularly. And over the last few months they’d all become work friends.
This wasn’t a work friend emergency. Patty felt like twenty kinds of fool. She’d compartmentalized everything in her life. Her friends. Her work. Her former marriage.
The only thing not compartmentalized was Cadyn.
Who was at play practice until six.
Yeah, she could not go home and risk being alone with Sam.
She opened her door and caught Becky shutting up the office for the day.
“What would you say to Red Pen Intervention today instead of Friday?”
Becky stopped mid purse grab. “How about today and Friday? I’ll get Meg.”
Patty collapsed in the chair outside her office. “Oh, thank God. I think this is an SOS.”
Becky looked at her for a long time, and Patty wanted to groan. She’d been too needy. And now Becky would bow out gracefully. And she’d have to be okay with that because they weren’t best friends or anything like that.
“So we’re going to talk about your Mr. Hottie. About time.”
She texted something to Meg, and the counselor walked in a few seconds later holding up her phone in confusion.
“SOS?”
Becky pointed to Patty. “She needs our help. Bad. Early RPI. You in?”
Meg and Becky were opposites of the blonde spectrum. Becky was fun and flirty and somewhat of a mess. Meg was an ice princess, but her heart was gold.
“You do look like you need our help…bad,” Meg said looking at Patty and mimicking Becky. “Do I get to find out about the cherry lime guy? Because if the answer is yes, I’m totally in.”
The cherry lime guy. Oh Sam, Sam, Sam.
“He’s also the chocolate guy,” she said, and both Becky and Meg winced.
“Not fair at all,” Becky said.
“Give me five and I’ll be ready to go,” Meg said.
Friends.
Priceless.
Twenty minutes later they were seated at a booth in Rosa’s Cantina, a new margarita bar in north Fort Worth. Hopefully far enough away from their home base that they wouldn’t run into students who always freaked out when they saw school personnel with alcohol even though they were all over the legal drinking age.
In Patty’s case way, way over.
The cantina was beautiful with brightly colored mosaic tile table tops and red booths and enough light to see clearly without being so bright you felt like you were in a fast food joint.
They ordered their drinks and some chips and dip, the real test of a Mexican food restaurant, and Becky and Meg waited for her to start talking.
And suddenly Patty was nervous. Becky was a bombshell. She went through men like most people went through pocket change. She loved to regale them with dating horror stories. And Meg didn’t really date a
ll that often. She was quiet and reserved, and she saw through people’s BS, which was why she rocked as a school counselor.
“Soooooo,” Becky said and Meg leaned forward and Patty realized she really wanted to talk about this. Really wanted their feedback. God, she’d been so stupid freaking out about this on her own when these women were right there with her all day every day.
“My ex wants me back.”
There. She’d said it. And it sounded just as awful and exciting as she thought it would
Their waitress brought the tortillas, chips and queso over along with some ice water while they waited on the margaritas.
Once she left, no one moved toward the food, which was an indication of how big her statement had been.
“And I guess he’s on this mission.” She stopped because it sounded so ridiculous to say the words out loud.
Becky and Meg exchanged a glance that could mean anything from they’d already talked about Sam to they thought she was nuts, and what the hell, she’d just spit it all out.
“He’s doing all this honey-do crap around the house and last night he made me dinner and had it warm and waiting for me when I got home from the school board meeting from hell.”
“He is a God. I knew it,” Becky said sitting back and shaking her head. “It is not fair that a man like him exists. I’m never going to be happy knowing you’ve got that at home.”
Patty wanted to laugh. She wondered what Becky would say if she knew about the door debacle.
“But that’s just it, Becks,” Meg said quietly. “She doesn’t have him at home. This is a problem. Thus we’re here…” She paused as the waitress dropped off their drinks, then picked up where she’d left off… “drinking on a non-RPI day.”
They all paused to sip the citrusy drinks and then looked at each other in surprise. Oh yeah. This was divine. Perfection with a little salt and lime.
Thank God for tequila.
And just like that, it was as if they’d been friends, real friends, not work friends, their entire lives.
Patty told them everything. About the accident when they were in high school and how he almost died then. About Cadyn being born too early. About their non-conventional marriage and how she’d pretended it didn’t bother her. About how he’d talked to Ida Mae at the library and how he’d pursued her ever since. About what she’d discovered today when she called Ida Mae.
