by Lee, Liz
“You must be Sam Jackson. Glad you’re here.”
Sam wanted to say the same. That he was glad to be there. That he could see himself in a classroom teaching. But he couldn’t. His heart screamed “do this for Patty, dipshit,” but his brain screamed “get the hell out of here. You don’t have the balls for this job.”
Patty ended one of the most uncomfortable parent conferences she’d ever had, filled out the alternative campus assignment paperwork for the movie star wannabes and grabbed the next file from Becky.
“Bullying investigation number 2033,” Becky said and Patty groaned.
“Have I told you how much I hate social media?” Patty said.
“We just did it with cute folded notes and colored notebook paper.”
Becky was right. Bullying had always been and would always be, but damn these cases seemed worse than what she remembered from her teen years.
She sent for the victim when Becky told her she was transferring an emergency call. Everything is an emergency, she thought and answered, “Patty Jackson, how may I help you?”
“Patty, I can’t do this.”
Patty’s heart fell to her toes and she leaned forward. “Sam? Are you okay?”
“They have crazy computer boards and projectors and something called bring your own device. Some of these kids have IEP’s, others are ELL’s. I think I’d rather face terrorists.”
Sam was afraid. Terrified. And he’d called her. Turned to her. Her heart sang.
“Sam,” she said trying to help him find his inner mojo. “You’ve got this if you want it. The technology will take care of itself, IEP’s are pretty self-explanatory. You speak fluent Spanish, so in all likelihood your ELL’s won’t be a problem, but honestly they don’t want you speaking a foreign language, they just want you aware the possible language barrier exists.”
She could hear his fear through the silence on the line, and she knew what she had to do. One more time. She could give him this. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She didn’t know why exactly. It wasn’t like this was new ground. She didn’t like it, didn’t want it. Hated the very idea of it. But it was the right thing to do.
“Sam, you don’t have to teach. There are other jobs. The network has made it clear you can come back any time. We can make it work. It’s up to us to commit. You know?”
But even as she spoke the words, she feared the truth. Commitment. Sam didn’t commit if it didn’t mean saving the world.
Worse than that, she was lying to him again. Saying what she didn’t mean. Expecting him to just know.
But she couldn’t say that to him. Not now. Not over the phone. Not when he was struggling with the idea of something new.
Maybe her mother was right after all. Maybe their problems were bigger than either had admitted. Maybe she had rushed into a reunion she wasn’t ready for because Sam was her comfort zone.
No. She loved him. She had to tell him what she really thought.
“Sam?”
He didn’t give her a chance to say more.
“I love you, Patty,” he said, and then he hung up. Patty didn’t call him back. Didn’t grab her iPhone and text him her true thoughts on the matter.
She just sat back in her chair, closed her eyes and tried to make peace with the idea that she wasn’t in competition with Sam’s job, whatever that job might be.
Chapter 14
Sam looked at his hand and wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. The crooked left ring finger reminded him of time, of how broken he’d been and how Patty had put him back together again piece by piece. How she taught him about love and heartbreak and soul satisfaction and the absolute certainty of forever. How she and Cadyn meant more to him than anything.
195504.
He’d hold on to that.
He wasn’t going back to the network. It might be the comfortable place to be, but that life wasn’t what he wanted. Hadn’t been in a long time. Even if he could move into operations, work from a studio, he didn’t want that. Not any more. Didn’t need it to prove anything.
He might never be perfect. But he loved Patty with all his heart, and she loved him, too. And that was enough. It had always been enough, he’d just been too blind to see that.
Yesterday had shifted something in him.
He’d started his quest to win Patty back because he thought he needed her to be whole. Now he knew the bigger truth. He did need Patty to be whole and she needed him too. They belonged together. And they could make their marriage work through good and bad, happy and sad.
He could go back to the network and they could still make a fulfilling marriage. But he wouldn’t be a fulfilled person because of the work. He was a fulfilled person because of who he was.
This was his chance to start over in careers. And it was his chance to show Patty she and Cadyn came first. But it didn’t change him as a person. And that was a good thing.
After three car accidents at lunch, a pulled fire alarm, a chemistry experiment gone wrong and a local news reporter asking for information on the alleged bullying case she was investigating and why they weren’t taking it seriously, Patty finally sat down and breathed.
The bullying case had escalated online. Even though the parties involved knew there was an active investigation, the stupid kids were talking about it all over twitter. No telling what they’d hidden on snapchat.
“Uh…Patty.” Becky walked into her office holding out her phone. “I think you might need to….No, never mind. It doesn’t matter. Pretend I said nothing.” She turned and walked out and Patty laughed as she followed Becky out of the office.
“No way, Becks,” she said leaning on her office door frame. “You don’t get to change your mind once you start a conversation like that. What might I need to see?”
Becky turned back to her, her face scrunched up in worried guilt.
“I didn’t mean to find this online,” she said, and Patty’s stomach fell as Becky held out her phone.
A million thoughts stumbled through her brain. Something with Sam. Cadyn. What?
Surely it wasn’t that bad. But Becky’s worried frown said it was.
Patty looked at the phone’s screen reluctantly and scrolled. Each message worse than the one before. On the internet. For the world to see.
@CJCheer4Life you were right #ParentsBelieveEverything #TooEasy followed by
@CJCheer4Life I know right? But he’s cute so…
followed by
@CJCheer4Life put a little fear in them both #ParentTrap
and then
@CJCheer4Life dinner was great #Yum #Hahah
@CJCheer4Life #OperationBadGirl #WhatAJoke
@CJCheer4Life got their attention. My mom freaked #ParentsAre2Easy
@CJCheer4Life OMG
@CJCheer4Life not on here
@CJCheer4Life tomorrow
@CJCheer4Life okay <3 <3 <3
That was it. But it didn’t take much more. She’d been played. She and Sam both. She blinked at the screen and tried to make sense of what she’d read.
“On the bright side, Nick Cannon isn’t a real problem…maybe.” Becky looked worried. “That is a bright side, isn’t it?”
Ha.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
The joke was on her big time.
Patty couldn’t believe it. Could not believe she and Sam had been manipulated so completely by their daughter.
Had Nick been manipulated, too? If so, that was not okay.
Outside her office the band played the fight song and a million emotions warred through her.
She wasn’t sorry for how things had turned out with Sam even though she wasn’t sure where they stood exactly right now. It wasn’t good that Cadyn thought manipulation was the way to get anything positive out of life.
It wasn’t good that she was suddenly bombarded with a million different emotions zinging her one way then the other. She felt overwhelmed. And that was the problem with feeling everything one hundred percent. With living outside the box where
she could store the emotions away to deal with another day.
“You going to the pep rally?” Becky grabbed the pom pom from the top of Patty’s filing cabinet and shook it.
The pep rally. Where Ms. #OperationBadGirl #WhatAJoke #ParentTrap would be cheering. Where her parents would be sitting in the stands cheering their granddaughter on. Where her mother would look at her with those worried eyes and she would have to hide the truth of what she was feeling.
This was easy. Way easier than thinking about Sam and the out she’d given him. About the fact that she’d tumbled head first back in bed with him without working through their problems. The real problems that had kept them apart.
Ugh. How had she let this happen?
She looked up, and Becky was staring at her with a worried frown on her face.
Patty smiled then. Took a deep breath and yep, there it was, the surety in her chest that told her she could do this.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” she said, and Becky looked relieved.
Sam strolled into the gym feeling like a man who’d reclaimed the world. The kids here were the same as those across town, but they didn’t worry Sam. Patty stood on the edge of the court scouting the stands for…
He followed the path of her eyes and bingo. Nick Cannon. Nick who was looking at Cadyn like she was icy Dr Pepper on a hot summer day. And Cadyn who was looking at Nick like he was her one true love.
Terrific.
He climbed into the stands to sit with the other parents. Called hello to those he knew. Scooted into a row next to his in-laws. Joe shook his hand, Velma gave him a wary hug. He wanted the wary gone. Wanted to tell her he and Patty were back together. Forever this time.
He turned back to the floor and his heart filled because there she was. Patty. Standing next to two women who looked like good friends. One was the secretary in Patty’s office. The other he didn’t know. That would change soon. Never again would he and Patty live separate private and public lives. Patty’s two friends were clapping and cheering and smiling and teasing Patty about something. He saw it then. The little frown on Patty’s face as she stared at Cadyn then turned to look up in the stands.
She caught his eyes, and he felt the zap of electricity across the room. The heat that they had always shared.
He waved, and a calmness filled her face as she raised her hand and waved at him. The response was careful. Moderated. Cool. Not what he expected.
When she broke eye contact and stared back at the floor, at Cadyn cheering, he pushed his worry away.
He was here with his daughter and his wife. His family. And nothing would take that away again. Nothing.
When the pep rally ended Cadyn ran over to Patty, executed a perfect split jump and laughed. “We did it, Mom! We nailed the whole competition routine.”
Patty forced a smile and looked up into the stands. Mom, Dad… Sam.
Her heart cartwheeled, just like it always did in his presence.
She swallowed the emotion and focused on Cadyn. “You did nail it,” she said. And then “Because ‘hashtag parents are too easy’.” The air quotes she added around Cadyn’s tweeted message weren’t necessary, but they helped deliver the message.
Cadyn’s smile fell and a guilty flush covered her face, and Patty almost felt sorry for her. Almost.
“You weren’t playing Nick, where you? Because that would be wrong.”
Cadyn rolled her eyes, and Patty tamped down her temper.
“Cadyn…”
“Seriously, Mom. Do you think Nick could be played? No way.”
Sam and her parents chose that moment to walk up to them.
Cadyn hugged Sam, and Sam smiled at Patty over Cadyn’s head. And Patty forced a smile she didn’t really feel. God, she loved him so much. That was so scary and awesome and what she really wanted was to go back to bed with him and avoid real discussion. Maybe her parents would take Cadyn out for ice cream.
Cadyn pulled her grandparents and Sam out onto the gym floor to introduce them to her friends.
“Better watch out, Boss Lady. You’re going to incinerate something, and this gym floor’s new.”
Patty forced a laugh at Becky. Strange, but she didn’t feel like laughing. It was like all her emotions were warring with each other still. She needed to get herself under control. She thought she had taken care of that in the office, but now her nerves were popping underneath her skin making her feel like she was going to fall apart. She worried one of the charms on her bracelet. A book. Sam had bought it for her when they’d started college.
Breathe. Be the adult, be the adult.
“You okay, Patty?” Meg asked looking at her with a worried frown, which meant she was sucking it up at hiding her emotions.
Patty tried not to care when Nick joined the party of the people she loved on the gym floor. Cadyn was introducing him like she thought he was the best guy in the world and her mom and dad were totally eating it up, shaking hands and asking questions. And Sam, Sam was smiling like maybe the boy wasn’t such a menace after all.
She blew out a breath and rubbed her head. The headache she’d planned on feigning very much a reality now. “I’ll be fine, Meg thanks. But Red Pen Intervention’s a skip for me today,” she said, and Becky sighed.
“If I had a man looking at me like Sam stares at you, I’d skip Red Pen Intervention, too. I don’t though, so I’m going to live vicariously through you on Monday. Tell me we’re on still, Meg. Please.”
Meg agreed to go for margaritas after work but said she had to finish up in her office.
Patty snapped her eyes back to the gym floor as Becky and Meg left. Sure enough Sam was looking at her, not hiding his emotions at all, which was the way he’d always been. Or so she’d thought.
She wondered when he’d tell her he’d decided to take the network up on their job offer. She’d find a way to be okay with that.
Cadyn hurried away to help clean up decorations. Nick was there with her, laughing as he popped balloons and pulled down signs and lifted Cadyn to the top of the rails to pull down streamers.
So yeah, he was still a colossal problem.
Sam and her parents walked over then. Her dad and mom holding hands, looking completely at ease and totally in love, just like always. And that was a good thing so why was her throat closing up like she might cry any minute?
“That granddaughter of mine sure can tumble,” he father said. “I’m glad you didn’t listen when we told you not to put her in gymnastics lessons.”
Her mother pushed his shoulder. “I was just worried because she’d always been so sick.”
Her dad kissed the top of her mom’s head. And Patty’s smile felt even more forced.
“We were all worried back then,” Sam said.
And it was true. It was still true, even though the cause of the worry had changed drastically. Nick might be trouble, but he wasn’t a struggle with life and death. She’d focus on the positive.
“Your mom and I are going to go to the casino for a few hours before the game. You two want to join us?”
You two. Like the last year hadn’t happened.
The casino. The loud bells and whistles and cigarette smoke would push her right over the edge.
She didn’t look at Sam. “I’ve got a lot of work to get done,” she said.
And it was true. Her desk was a disaster.
“We’ll see you in a few hours then,” her dad said giving her a hug goodbye then turning to Sam to shake his hand.
Patty heard him say “Son,” and her heart stuttered a little as her mother leaned close to her.
“You okay, sweetie? You look a little pale. Maybe your dad and I should skip the casino.”
Alarmed at the thought Patty shook her head. “No, you two go on. I’ll be fine. I just have a headache. It’s been a crazy day.”
Her mother looked like maybe she didn’t believe Patty, but she left with her dad anyway.
And then there was just Sam. Sam wouldn’t be so easy to shake.
/> “You worried?” Sam asked staring out at the floor where Cadyn and Nick were still goofing off. He rubbed her shoulder as he asked.
The touch should be perfectly normal. Patty knew that. But it didn’t feel normal. It felt like one more thing adding to her mass of emotions.
Patty shook her head and tried not to let him feel the tension radiating off her. He didn’t need this from her now. Hell, she didn’t need this from her.
Sam brought his other hand up, turned a simple touch into a light shoulder massage, and finally Patty stepped away. She couldn’t handle that right now. Couldn’t let herself sink into him. If she did, she would shatter.
She couldn’t hide what she was feeling from Sam. She’d never been able to. So she said “I’ll talk to you later, Sam I’ve got to go.”
With that she ran away before she totally lost it.
WTF?
Patty scampered down the hallway and Sam’s world tilted. He’d gone from top of the moon to holy hell what did I do wrong in seconds.
Patty was the one person who could do that to him.
For a few seconds he stood in the gym with the ridiculously loud bass and the screaming kids and then pop, pop, pop of balloons.
“I’m headed home, Dad,” Cadyn called. “See you soon.”
She ran out the side door of the gym and he turned again.
No way. Patty didn’t get to push him away. Not this time.
Sam walked into the empty office and knocked on Patty’s door.
At first she didn’t answer. Which would’ve been fine except he heard her crying and hell if he was going to wait for an invitation when she needed him.
He pushed the door open and there she was. Crying. Sitting in the middle of her floor in this domain he didn’t really understand. He knew Patty cried. Usually because of him. But she never broke down. She was a freaking rock.
“Patty. Jesus.” He took the three steps to her, bent to pull her to him. She didn’t pull away, just wrapped her arms around him and bawled into his chest like she hadn’t done since the doctor had warned them they should make arrangements for Cadyn’s funeral.
The phone on her desk was lit up with red blinking lights. Files were stacked in piles that must mean something to her but looked like a giant mess to him. A leather purse that looked more like a gym bag was on the floor with lipstick, Kleenex and a kid’s book sprawling out of it.
