by S. Van Horne
Evan grins then drapes his arm over my shoulder. “Plus, the tour guide knows a ton of useless shit to fill your head with.”
I shake my head with a playful laugh.
Over the last three weeks, I’ve spent a lot of time with Evan. A great deal of fully dressed and totally platonic time, but I’ve enjoyed every second. Thanks to Evan, I’ve now experienced Navy Pier, Shedd’s Aquarium—where Aidan tagged along—the Art Institute, Millennium Park—again with Aidan—the Hancock Building, the Field Museum, and now, we’re on an architecture boat tour where a new city is capturing my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible.
I turn my face toward him. “Thank you. Seriously. Thank you. I…I didn’t know starting over could feel this good.”
“Neither did I, babe. Neither did I,” he repeats before pulling my shoulder tight against his chest where I find myself tucking my head into his neck. I’m sure to everyone around us, we appear like a real couple, but instead…we’re friends learning to live again.
“Next Saturday, Aidan and I have Cubs tickets. What do think about coming with us?” I unlock my apartment door, glancing toward Evan who’s wearing a smirk.
“I wouldn’t mind experiencing Wrigley Field, but if that kid of yours thinks I’m going to walk out of there a Cubs fan, he’s sadly mistaken.”
Evan chuckles, following me through the door. “Personally, I’m a White Sox fan, but my dad has rooted for the Cubs for years. That’s where Aidan got his love for the team, but now that the Cubs have finally broke their curse, I’m letting them have their big moment.”
“Okay. I’d love to go.” When our gazes lock, the air between us shifts, and I swear, I can see a longing shining in Evan’s eyes—something I haven’t seen since the night I met him, the night I paid him to have sex with me. Sure, he’s placed his arm around me a few times, and he even held my hand while we walked around Navy Pier, but he’s never crossed that line, the one that would ruin our new-found friendship.
“Well…” he clears his throat and pockets his hands in his jeans, “I need to get to going.”
Of course, he does. He probably had a date, or maybe I should say, an appointment tonight. I know we’re friends—only friends—but it sickens me to think after he spends the day with me, he leaves to spend the night in someone else’s bed. It bothers me to the point that if I’m being honest, I’m not sure how much longer I can continue our friendship. “See you later,” I mumble, walking to the fridge, ready for a glass of wine.
“Hey, do you want to go out for lunch with Aidan and me tomorrow? We could grab some pizza,” he says, his mouth lifting with a smile.
“Umm, I actually…” Against my will, my heart is starting to feel something real for him, and I can’t let myself slip any further into this trap than I already have. The last few weeks have only proved what I knew to be true, and that’s Evan is an exceptional man. But it doesn’t matter how great he is, he’s bound to break my heart. On top of charging woman for sex, he’s still in love with his late wife. I can’t complete with that. “I’m…sorry. I can’t. I already have plans,” I lie.
He blinks a few times, processing my comment before he nods his head. “Yeah, okay. Well…I’ll shoot you a text about next weekend.”
“Sounds great. Make sure you tell Aidan I said hello.” I practically usher him to the door where a look of disappointment mars his handsome face.
“Enjoy the rest of your night,” he adds seconds before I close the door.
I’ll go to the game next weekend. I’ll make sure to soak up as much time with the two of them as I can, then regardless of how painful it will be, I’ll finally cut my ties with Evan and his son.
EVAN
It wasn’t hard to convince Nora to give me her cell phone number, but outside of a few texts, I’ve never actually called her. This week, however, I repeatedly fought the urge to dial her number. I went from only seeing her here and there to practically spending the entire weekend together—often including Aidan. When I left her apartment last Saturday, I could tell something was wrong, but we had a great time earlier. Therefore, I didn’t push. But now that I’m standing outside of the Cubbie Bar, hoping like hell that she isn’t about to stand us up, I wish I had called her earlier in the week. I pull my phone out of my pocket, ready to call her, when her soft voice greets my ears.
“Hey.”
I quickly glance up only to find Nora dressed in a Yankee’s tank top and a pair of denim shorts. My mouth waters from the way her shirt pulls against the swell of her breasts.
“Sorry, that crowd on the red-line tonight was a little rowdy.”
“I’m sure it had nothing to do with your shirt,” I joke, reaching for her hand.
“I received a few strange looks, but no, it wasn’t my top.” She awkwardly ducks around me, avoiding my hand and glances inside the restaurant. “Is Aidan here?”
“Yeah, he’s holding down our table. Follow me.” I try my hardest to keep a relaxed tone, but that same feeling I had when I left her place last weekend has returned ten-fold. Something’s not right, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out what I said or did.
“Geez,” Aidan mutters, fighting back a smile when he spots Nora. “Out of everything you own, that’s what you decided to wear?”
“I’ll make you a deal. If the day ever comes that I get to take you to Yankee Stadium, I’ll keep my mouth shut if you decide to go decked out in Cubs apparel.” The anxiety swirling in the pit of my stomach starts to lessen. She wouldn’t make a comment about taking Aidan somewhere if she’s about to send me packing.
“Let’s figure out what we want to order. The sooner we eat, the sooner you can show Nora around.”
They’re both grinning like fools, and for the first time in what seems like forever, I feel at peace. I’ve been told for years that everything happens for a reason, but it wasn’t until I met Nora that I’m finally ready to accept that my life, my soul, my future, doesn’t belong to the person I promised it to.
Aidan looks at Nora, still riding the high he received from watching the game. “The jumbotron was only added a few years ago. I like it, but at the same time, I don’t. It kind of takes away from the original feel of the stadium.”
“That’s exactly how I felt when the Yankees rebuilt. That’s what kicked my butt into action, and I forced myself to actually sit down and plan out a trip to Fenway Park.”
“You’ve been to Fenway?” Aidan asks in awe.
“Yep, and Wrigley Field was on my bucket list for years, so thanks for allowing me to tag along.”
“How many stadiums have you been to?”
“Quite a few on the East Coast, but I’m hoping to make it to AT&T Park and Coors Field one day.”
“That’s so cool. Maybe if I beg, you’ll take me with you.”
Nora’s expression falls before she glances over at me. “If I ever go, I’ll make sure to tell you.”
I loudly clear my throat, gaining both of their attention. “I know you already had plans last Sunday, but what do you say to meeting us for lunch tomorrow?” Aidan’s face lights up while the opposite happens with Nora.
“Actually, I have…a lunch date tomorrow.”
A storm starts to brew in my head while Aidan repeats, “Date?”
“Yeah...there’s this guy I work with. He seems nice, and he’s hinted around about taking me out, but I finally decided to take him up on his offer.”
I crack my neck before inhaling a deep breath, hoping to control the sudden fury flowing through my veins.
“Oh…okay,” Aidan says, sounding just as puzzled as I feel.
“The line for the train isn’t getting any shorter, so I better get going.” Nora gives the two of us a quick wave before darting up the subway stairs.
“I’m confused. I thought Nora was your girlfriend?”
“I…well…we…never actually talked about it,” I mutter before taking a quick glance at Aidan.
“Oh, Dad. If you want a girl to be your
s, you’ve gotta tell her. Otherwise, they’ll go out on dates with other guys.” He shakes his head. “I sure hope Nora hasn’t friend-zoned you because I really like her.”
“Me too,” I say through a sigh, wondering how I managed to fuck up things with the only woman I can imagine sharing my life with.
CHAPTER SEVEN
NORA
I NEED TO TAKE A step back from Evan, get my feelings for him in check before I can continue our friendship, and the only way I know how to do that, is by forcing myself to move on. Paul—a guy I work with—doesn’t set my body on fire the way Evan does, but he’s attractive, nice, and persistent. Therefore, I caved and accepted his offer to take me out. I suggested a light Sunday lunch at a restaurant in Millennium Park. I was hoping for something casual while I tested the waters, so to speak.
Thirty minutes before I’m ready to leave, a sharp knock on my door startles me. After a quick glance through the peephole, my heart starts beating faster. Sucking in a deep breath, I plaster a smile on my face and open the door. “Hey, Evan. What are you doing here?”
His eyes rake down the front of my body, taking in the yellow spaghetti strap sun dress I’m wearing.
“I was just about to leave—” Before I have the chance to finish my sentence, Evan wraps his hands around my neck and pulls me tightly against him where his lips devour mine in a kiss that ignites my body.
Slowly, he walks me backward, kicking the door shut with his foot before he lays me down on the couch. “You aren’t going on a fucking date,” he growls, but his words are like a cold bucket of water on my libido. I’m not sure what’s going, on but I can’t do this.
“Wait,” I ground out, pushing against his chest. “We can’t do this.”
“I’ve been taking things slow. Giving us both time to adjust, but if you think I’m okay with sharing you, then you’re dead fucking wrong.”
I flinch at his comment, and my reaction doesn’t go unnoticed. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” I repeat, doing my best to shove him off me. When he gets a good look at my face, his eyes darken.
“I can’t…I can’t do this with you.”
“Why?” he asks, doing nothing to mask the defeat in his tone.
“We’re friends, and you don’t want me to go out on a date, yet it’s okay for you to…” I make air quotes, “take appointments every night?”
His eyes soften. “Baby, I’m not.”
“You’re not what?”
He rolls his eyes and slides off the couch. “I stopped taking appointments before I even met you. I was bored and hanging out at The Meat Market when your friend came in. Jason was already full the night your friend requested, and for some reason, I spoke up and said I’d meet you.” Evan rubs his hands over his face and sighs. “I never should have met you, yet I did, and the only reason I can come up with is…we belong together.”
My eyes begin to water while I shake my head. “That’s not true.”
“Why?” he immediately questions.
“Evan, I can’t…” I trail off, wiping my hands over my face, trying to mask my tears. “You’re great. You’ve restored my faith in myself, and it’s because of that, I can’t play second.”
His nostrils flare while his eyes narrow. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You’re still in love with your wife and—” I place my hand up when he starts to open his mouth. “There’s nothing wrong with that. True love, it’s rare. Most people never get to experience a love strong enough that it last years after their partner passes, but you did and that’s great but…” my voice cracks, “I want to experience that same type of love myself.”
He turns his back to me and looks out the glass balcony doors. Even from here, I can hear every breath he pulls in. “Bethany…she used to be a closed subject. I couldn’t talk about her without breaking down. I…” He rubs the back of his neck but he makes no attempt to turn around. “I worked for years for a company I hated, so after saving some money Beth had hoped we’d use to have another baby—I decided to quit and open my own business. In theory, it was a great idea, but the reality was, even after a year, I wasn’t making shit. Shortly after we had Aidan, Beth quit her job and decided to stay home with him, but it didn’t take long before our bank account was in the red. Our marriage was on shaky ground as it was, but Beth felt there was no other choice, so she enrolled Aidan in daycare and went back to work. She...” He blows out a long shaky breath. “A winter storm had moved into the area. Aidan’s daycare had already closed in advance the day before. I…I was counting on Beth staying home with him. I didn’t think twice when I got a call out from someone whose furnace went out. It was damn cold, and the lady was old and couldn’t get anyone else on the phone. I ran over to see if there was anything I could do. After I left, Beth got a call from her boss. I don’t know what he said, but she packed Aidan up and took him to my parents then got on the fucking interstate where she ended up in a fifteen-car pile-up.”
My heart shatters into a million pieces, only this time, when I wipe my eyes, it’s for a different reason than before.
“I loved Beth. I loved her with absolutely every fiber of my soul. And you’re right, that’s the reason I couldn’t move on. I failed her. She never would’ve left the house if it weren’t for me, and God…” he finally turns his grief stricken face my direction, “I couldn’t imagine loving someone the same way…not until I met you.”
“But…” I mumble, placing my hand over my stomach, “I thought we were friends…”
He carefully eyes me before taking a step closer. “I’ve never felt this way about a friend before.”
“But—” I try again, only this time, he cuts me off.
“I thought a love like I found with Bethany only happened once, but after meeting you, I know that’s not true.” He takes another step in my direction. “Everything happens for a reason. I couldn’t…” He painfully closes his eyes. When he opens them again, they’re shining in a way I haven’t seen before. “I wouldn’t let myself believe that. Beth got in her car and left when she shouldn’t have, and I can’t change that any more than I can change how I feel about you.” I look away while my heart hammers a dangerous rhythm, but Evan quickly closes the distance between us, again, sliding his hands around my neck and tilting my head back. When my eyes lock with his, the flutters—the connection I’ve felt for him since the night I met him—are stronger than ever.
“I was delivered a what if I couldn’t plan for, and because of that, I stopped living, only I didn’t realize that…not until one fluke night when I met a sexy as hell brunette. Before I even walked up to you, I felt something, but I refused to acknowledge it. But deep down, I knew the second your amber eyes peered into mine, you were meant for me. That’s why I left before you woke up. I felt something I wasn’t ready to accept, only the next day, you showed up at my parents’ house.” He brushes his thumb across my cheek with a weak smile. “Knowing how I already felt about you, then seeing you with Aidan, with my parents, it left me reeling. I knew I had to see you again, and I thought…” his mouth turns up, “with time, maybe a relationship could work, but I wasn’t counting on just how hard I’d fall in love with you.”
“You…love me?”
“Yes. I love you. With every fiber of my heart. Now, put me out of my misery and tell me you’re not going out with some guy that I’ll need to track down and threaten later.”
I stare at him for several seconds, soaking in his words. “When Joe and I separated, I stopped believing I’d ever find a love that truly consumed me. But then I met you, and I knew it was possible, I just told myself it wasn’t possible with you.”
Evan brushes his lips across mine before he says, “Together, anything is possible. What do you say, we live a brand new what if together?”
“I should probably send my date a text and tell him something came up.”
“Yeah, tell him you just found your happily ever after.”
My
heart skips a beat as an enchanted feeling—one I haven’t experienced since my parents passed away—sweeps me off my feet and leaves me ready to live a life filled with incredible what ifs.
THE END…FOR NOW.
CHAPTER ONE
DYLAN
“I NEED TWENTY-POUNDS OF skirt steak and ten pounds of lamb, both ground. We need to get ahead of dinner service tonight. Last night, you guys were sloppy and got behind by three orders. That shit is not going to happen again.” My finger runs down the sheet in front of me, double-checking to make sure I covered everything I needed to.
Craig, the bartender, hovers by the swinging door. “Dylan, phone call for you.”
I set down my notepad and nod at the crew, dismissing them. I move past Craig and grab the cordless phone from his hand. “Lexington,” I bark into the phone. I have a restaurant to get ready, and I don’t have time to talk on the damn phone.
“Got one last order for Prime Rib in today.”
Son of a bitch. “I thought we agreed that I was fucking done doing this? I don’t need the extra cash anymore.”
Jason Somers, the local butcher, laughs into the phone. “Just one more order, Dylan. I couldn’t say no to this one.”
I lean against the bar and cradle the phone between my ear and shoulder. “And why the hell is that? You hook me up with Meghan Trainor? Far as I’m concerned, she’s the only one I’ll say yes to.”
“How about you have a little faith in your friend that this order is exactly what you need, okay?”
“Because that same friend is the one who got me into this shit.” I grab the phone from between my shoulder and ear and stroll out of the restaurant to the curb. “Did she just leave?” I look down the street to the butcher shop, hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman.
