Romeo & Juliet & Vampires

by William Shakespeare

  “Our love,” Juliet repeated, her heart dancing.

  “Oh, Juliet, please don’t be doubtful,” Romeo pleaded.

  “It is not that simple.” Juliet wished that she could let her emotions run wild, but one of them had to act reasonably.

  “What else could come between us?”

  “What else? I am turning into a vampire! In three days, no less.” Juliet looked directly at Romeo to see his reaction, and much to her surprise, he was unfazed.

  “If you were turning into a fish or a monkey or a chicken in an hour, I would not care,” Romeo said, smirking.

  “That is absurd.” Juliet laughed in spite of herself. “And I do not know how you can find this funny!”

  “I do not understand it either. But absurd or not, when it comes to these feelings I have for you, the last thing I want to do is ask questions,” Romeo said.

  Then he got down on one knee, and added: “Except for one…Will you marry me?”

  Juliet felt like her whole body was weightless, and that any moment now, she’d float up into the clouds.

  “I pledge all that I have and am to you.” Romeo continued to talk as Juliet remained in a daze.

  Out of the blue, a high-pitched voice arose from within her chambers. “Juliet! Miss Juliet!”

  “One moment, good Nurse,” she yelled over her shoulder. Then she quickly looked down at Romeo, who was still on one knee beneath her terrace.

  “My love, if you must leave before you can answer, give me some small sign of hope,” Romeo begged.

  “Madam! I will not call you again,” the nurse proclaimed in agitation.

  The tension in the air had Juliet’s stomach in knots. She could barely think straight, so the only thing to do was listen to her heart.

  “My darling, I must go. And so should you, before one of the guards catches you here. Then our marriage will never see the light of day,” she said.

  Romeo grinned and sprang to his feet. “So then you will marry me. Oh, blessed, blessed night!”

  “MADAM JULIET!” the nurse shouted once again.

  “I hear you! In a moment, I will come!” Juliet yelled back.

  “First thing in the morning, I will ask Friar Laurence at the monastery to officiate at the wedding ceremony,” Romeo said quickly.

  Juliet had never fought so hard to contain her emotions. “And I will send someone to confirm the plan. I pray that sleep will not change your mind, nor mine.”

  “Do not make me curse at you, madam!” the nurse bellowed from Juliet’s bedchamber.

  Then Juliet blew Romeo a kiss and waved good-bye before making her retreat.

  “How could you have done such a thing?” Lady Capulet scolded as Juliet sat on the edge of her bed with her hands folded meekly in her lap.

  If she had known that the nurse had been beckoning her so that she could get verbally assaulted by both of her parents, Juliet would have jumped off the balcony and eloped with Romeo right then. But no, she would have to endure their ranting until they were satisfied with Juliet’s apology for pouring the goblet of pig’s blood over Count Paris’s head. Considering that she was not even a slight bit remorseful, Lord and Lady Capulet could be there all night. The nurse, fortunately for her, had made a clean getaway.

  “I admit, I might have overreacted a little,” Juliet said. “But I had just found out that he and my parents were conspiring behind my back!”

  “Do you realize what kind of position this puts us in?” Lord Capulet snapped, his fiery eyes brimming with anger. “Count Paris is an essential part of our strategy against Prince Radu’s treaty. Now we are at an extreme disadvantage because of you!”

  Fueled by newfound love and a burgeoning anger of her own, Juliet stared down her father and challenged him.

  “Had you told me that you were arranging my marriage, then perhaps none of us would be in this situation,” she fought back. “I am perfectly capable of choosing a mate!”

  “That has nothing to do with it,” he replied. “I am going to retrieve Count Paris from the Great Hall and bring him here so that you can ask for his forgiveness.”

  As soon as Lord Capulet stormed out of the room, Juliet sprang up and hollered after him, her poise cracking under the pressure.

  “I am so tired of your orders!”

  Lady Capulet gripped Juliet by the wrist and spun her around. “And we are tired of your disobedience! Your marriage to Count Paris—”

  “Will be a complete fraud,” Juliet interjected. “I do not even know him, let alone love him.”

  “Love?” Lady Capulet almost laughed. “What do you know about it?”

  After meeting Romeo tonight, Juliet could have written volumes on the subject of love, but she would never admit that to her mother.

  “I could ask you the same question,” Juliet mumbled.

  But Lady Capulet and her exceptional hearing caught every word.

  “I know it must seem like I do not love you. Neither I nor your father is able to express those feelings easily,” she replied. “But we care about you, and want what is best for you and this family.”

  Juliet lowered her head. The anxiety was finally getting to her. “Then why are you and Father hurting me so much?”

  “These are difficult and trying times for our people.” Lady Capulet let go of Juliet’s wrist and lightly rubbed her daughter’s shoulder. “We have to make certain sacrifices in order to preserve our lifestyle.”

  Juliet looked back up at her mother, her eyes glistening with tears. The thought of sacrificing her love for Romeo and all of her principles instantly weakened her.

  “Is there no other way to curry favor with Count Paris? Or am I just that expendable, Mother?”

  Lady Capulet sighed with resignation, but did not speak. Perhaps her daughter’s pleas were beginning to sink in.

  Juliet sensed an opportunity to sway her mother, so she took Lady Capulet’s hand and kissed it as though her mother were a queen.

  “Please, my lady, be lenient with me. Nothing in my life is in my own hands, and that is completely unbearable.”

  After a brief silent pause, Lady Capulet said, “Maybe we haven’t examined all of our options with the count.”

  Juliet broke into a hopeful smile. “Does that mean you’ll reconsider?”

  Lady Capulet whisked herself away from Juliet and floated toward the door. “It means that I will speak to your father about it.”

  “Thank you,” Juliet said with a dignified curtsy. She knew better than to push her mother any further.

  “I’ll send in your nurse to help you freshen up,” Lady Capulet said as she exited the room. Once she reached the hallway, she glanced over her shoulder and added, “You still have a heartfelt apology to deliver, don’t you?”

  “Yes, Mother,” Juliet said, crossing her fingers behind her back.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Romeo had never been happier to see Friar Laurence than he was the following morning. When he’d knocked on the door of the monastery, he was near delirious, having not slept a wink all night. Friar Laurence did not seem as excited to see him, however. It was just after six and everyone in the monastery was most likely still asleep. Nonetheless, Romeo knew the kind friar would welcome him into his home with a smile upon his face, regardless of the ungodly hour.

  “Good tidings, Friar! Is this not the most glorious day in the history of time?” Romeo exclaimed, grabbing the man by his twiglike arms and shaking him happily.

  Friar Laurence, a thin, older gentleman who barely filled his order’s signature brown hooded robe, stifled a hearty yawn. “Why, how am I supposed to know, given that the day has only just begun.”

  “Not for those of us who have watched the sun rise,” Romeo said, grinning. “Can I come in?”

  “Of course you may.” Friar Laurence opened the door and let Romeo enter.

  “Thank you, Friar.”

  Friar Laurence left the door open a crack and led Romeo down the hall to a small, simple kitchen, where a b
lack metal pot sat on top of a cast-iron stove. A steady stream of steam rose above it, leaving the room smelling like cinnamon and oats.

  “Well, you are still in one piece, so I take it the holy-water-soaked garlic strands worked at the Capulets’ ball,” he said.

  “They were very useful against the guards,” Romeo replied. “I wish the same could be said of the watch-dogs, though.”

  Friar Laurence cringed. “How could I have forgotten them?”

  “Senility perhaps?” Romeo joked. “Don’t worry, Friar. We escaped the beasts with nary a scratch.”

  “What a relief,” said Friar Laurence.

  “We also adhered to the letter of Prince Radu’s law,” Romeo said proudly. “No violence ensued.”

  “Praise be to God, that is wonderful news.”

  The friar wandered over to the pot and stirred the contents with a wooden spoon. Romeo followed him, but stopped cold when he caught his reflection in a brass kettle. He had spent the late hours of the night stargazing in his favorite pasture, so he should not have been surprised to see dark circles under his eyes and slivers of grass tangled in his hair. What amazed him was how invigorated and intoxicated he felt, despite his haggard appearance. Truly, the joy that Juliet had brought into his life had infected every cell of his body.

  “Are you hungry? I made some porridge.” Friar Laurence poured some of the hot mixture into a bowl.

  “No, my belly is just as full as my heart!” Romeo said. “I could go months without food, but not a single day without my lady.”

  “Ah, spoken like a man who has been struck by a thousand of Cupid’s arrows.” Friar Laurence smiled and then took a bite of the porridge. “I am glad that Rosaline finally came around.”

  For a moment, Romeo became worried about what Friar Laurence might think about his proposal to Juliet. But then he recalled how understanding the friar had been when Romeo had told him about his feelings for Rosaline weeks ago. She was a Capulet, just like Juliet, so his concerns quickly drifted away.

  “Rosaline was nothing but passing fancy, Friar,” Romeo said. “I never even saw her at the castle.”

  “Forgive me, Romeo, but I am baffled,” the friar said with a full mouth. “If Rosaline hasn’t caused this love-spun madness in you, then who has?”

  “Her cousin Juliet.”

  Friar Laurence almost choked on his porridge, slapping at his chest in order to get the last bit down his throat. “You mean Lord Capulet’s daughter?”

  Romeo did not like the disapproving tone in Friar Laurence’s voice. “Does it matter to who she was born? You have always said that we are all children of God, including the vampires.”

  “Son, I am not judging you,” the friar said, laying a reassuring hand on Romeo’s cheek. “Nor do I want to discourage your feelings for this girl. I am just surprised is all.”

  Romeo put an arm around the friar and grinned. “I am so happy to hear you say that, because Juliet and I are to be married. And I would like you to perform the ceremony—today.”

  The friar set the bowl down on the table and kept quiet.

  “Well? What do you think?” Romeo prompted.

  “I’m sorry, I’m at a loss for words,” the friar replied.

  “There is only one word to say,” Romeo countered. “Yes!”

  But Friar Laurence just stood there, motionless.

  “Juliet said it rather easily, Friar. I do not know what is stopping you,” Romeo said lightheartedly. He hoped a joke might cut the tension that was suddenly filling the air.

  “I will not lie to you, Romeo. I don’t know that this is a good idea.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Your crush on Rosaline was naive and innocent, which made it all the more safe,” the friar explained. “I know you are enamored with Juliet, but marriage is a serious undertaking, and you are quite young to be considering it, let alone with a girl who will one day transform into a vampire. I fear that you do not know what you are getting yourself into.”

  “Two days, Friar. That’s all we have left until she turns.” Romeo’s voice cracked with emotion. “That is why we cannot delay. I want our union to occur while we are both human. And I know what I am facing. I am prepared to endure the hardships we might encounter, and I do not fear being ostracized. Please, Friar, do not deny us. I beg you.”

  Friar Laurence folded his hands in front of his chest and briefly bowed his head in meditation. When he was through, he grinned at Romeo as though he’d never had a doubt.

  “You are an inspiration, Romeo,” the friar said. “If everyone could love their enemy, just as you have, there would be peace on earth, I know it.”

  Romeo flushed a little at the friar’s compliment. “Does that mean you will help us?”

  “You and Juliet must meet me in my private cell no later than three o’clock. And make sure you put on something that is fitting for a bridegroom. ’Tis your wedding, after all.”

  Romeo was so elated that he gave Friar Laurence a big hug. “A thousand thank-yous, my friend.”

  “You’re welcome,” the friar replied. “Perhaps this will turn your household’s rancor to pure love.”

  Romeo smiled, his eyes twinkling with optimism. “Anything is possible.”

  After spending the morning coordinating the wedding ceremony with the friar, Romeo made his way toward the Montague homestead. As he trudged through the thick forest that separated the town from the low valley upon which the monastery was built, a fear began to take hold of him.

  With Friar Laurence’s gentle warnings still lingering in his ears, Romeo realized that his actions below Juliet’s balcony had been extremely hasty. He truly wanted Juliet’s hand in marriage, but now he was concerned that Juliet might have thought twice about his proposal. What if she thought he was a naive, lovesick fool and no longer took him seriously?

  He felt remarkably uneasy for a man who was hours away from marrying the love of his life.

  Romeo’s eyes were on his feet as he kicked at loose pebbles in the road that led to his house. He was only ten steps away from the front door when an arrow whizzed by his head and struck the trunk of a tree. Romeo leaped behind a hedge in case another speeding arrow was on the way, his breath coming in swift spurts. But his panic turned to annoyance when he heard the familiar sound of rowdy laughter coming from the other side of the hedge.

  When he stood up, he was eye to eye with Mercutio and Benvolio. His good friend was clapping his hands in amusement while his cousin held a bow up in the air, exclaiming, “Welcome home, Romeo!”

  Romeo scowled. “Why can’t you just wave hello like a normal person?”

  “Because that wouldn’t be any fun, would it?” Benvolio replied, poking Romeo hard in the shoulder.

  “Speaking of fun, I can’t help but wonder what happened with Romeo and the half-breed,” Mercutio said, chuckling. Romeo wiped off his trousers and started walking toward the house, ignoring his friend’s taunting, but clenching his hands into fists nonetheless.

  Benvolio trailed close behind him, snickering in Romeo’s ear. “Tell us how Rosaline was. We’re dying to hear all the gory specifics.”

  Romeo continued to pretend that these words weren’t eating away at him, knowing that the whole point of this teasing was to get him to react. But really, each taunt was like a punch to his gut.

  “Oh, no. The sound of silence!” Mercutio caught up to them, still laughing.

  “My guess is that their tryst did not go so well,” Benvolio said in mock sympathy.

  “Was she as cold as a corpse?” Mercutio asked, checking Romeo with his right hip.

  Benvolio jabbed Romeo with his elbow. “Or wild as a banshee?”

  Without any warning, Romeo swiveled around, locked his legs, and slammed his fist into Benvolio’s jaw, sending him flying and tumbling to the ground. As Mercutio stood there, stunned, Romeo rammed his knee into his abdomen, causing him to squawk and fall flat on his face. Romeo stepped back and surveyed the damage, rubbing the bac
k of his swelling hand.

  “Sorry, good fellows. I don’t know what came over me,” he said sarcastically.

  Mercutio coughed, then rolled over on his back. “No apologies necessary, Romeo.”

  “Yes, maybe we went a little over the line.” Benvolio rubbed at his cheek.

  “Maybe?” Romeo snapped.

  “And I suppose you could have done without that brush with the arrow, too.” Mercutio struggled to get up, but once he did, he grinned at Romeo.

  Romeo willed himself to stay indignant, but as usual, when it came to Benvolio and Mercutio, he was unable to hold grudges against them for more than a few minutes. Maybe it was their willingness to protect him—as they’d done with Tybalt the night before—that softened his heart at irritating moments such as these.

  “Let’s just call it even and shake on it, okay?” Mercutio asked, holding out his hand.

  Romeo nodded and smiled in agreement, but when Mercutio got a hold of his friend’s hand, he twisted and bent it back so hard that Romeo actually screamed in pain.

  “You dirty, slimy, no-good bastard!” he shouted.

  “Don’t blame me because you’re so gullible,” Mercutio said after letting go.

  “Settle down, someone is coming up the path,” Benvolio instructed as he stood up and straightened his shirt.

  Romeo looked down the road while massaging his hand. Although he had only seen her face briefly last evening, he recognized the woman as Juliet’s nurse. She was wrapped up in a heavy hand-knit yellow shawl and wearing a white bonnet that covered her light brown hair.

  “Who is that?” Mercutio asked.

  “None of your business,” Romeo replied.

  “Well, now I’m very curious,” Benvolio said, smirking. “Mercutio, should I get out my bow and give her a special welcome?”

  Romeo shoved Benvolio. “Get out of here, both of you. Or you will be sorrier than you were a moment ago.”

  Mercutio patted Benvolio on the back. “Come on, we’ve tortured him enough for today.”