I had refused to think about where I might end up or who I might end up seeing. The possibility frightens me more than I care to admit. I’m not ready. It’s far too soon. I thought I’d have months to prepare myself for this, not days. My life is suddenly on fast forward, or at least it has been since I left that terrible place all that time ago. I feel like I can’t even catch my breath anymore.
I need more time.
Unfortunately, it seems like Malik isn’t feeling very generous this morning. Just as I’m about to step through the doorway, his looming figure stands in my way. A fierce scowl marks his handsome face and I take a step back. Without a word, his hand grips my arm with that familiar death grip. Malik pulls me down the hall and out the door where the sun momentarily blinds me.
I jerk to a stop before a Capalt with shiny dark blue scales. The giant beast swings his horned head around and noses my stomach briefly before bowing low. Introduction over, I’m suddenly lifted from behind and settled onto the beast. I gasp, making a grab for the twisted horns so I don’t slide off the beast. I situate my legs in front of the folded wings and scoot forward.
Inhaling a small, calming breath, I relax my death grip on the horns. Despite having read about these docile beasts, I’ve never actually seen one up close, never mind riding atop one. I take a quick look around to find Malik, Zeke, and two others astride their own mounts. With a pull of the horns, Malik slides up next to me and hands me a folded parchment. Without a word, I open it to find a detailed map illustrated within. This map is far more detailed than the one Lori gave me. It shows both human and talnarin villages.
“Lead us to this village, girl.”
I glance up and meet his golden eyes. I study the map once more. Not knowing what else to do, I point North. For now, I’ll lead them in the right direction. There will be time to lead them astray once I have a game plan.
“Move out.”
Without any action from me, the beast I ride follows Malik. Belatedly, I notice a thin rope attached to the beast neck. Malik guides my mount. Zeke rides to my left, the one I assume is Kelog is to my right, with the final talnarin bringing up the rear. I’m completely boxed in.
*******
The next few days pass in a blur. My emotional state is such a mess, it’s hard to focus on anything around me. My thoughts and memories fight for control and it’s like a never-ending battle trying to keep them at bay. The idea of possibly seeing Him has my mind and stomach revolting. The horrors of my past become more than a distant nightmare the closer I get to the place where it all began. Over and over, my memories surge to the forefront of my mind, threatening to drag me under. Memories of what He did, or what He ordered, suffocate me. I’ve had no reprieve since this journey began and it’s weighing on me. My physical self has worn itself past exhaustion.
I’ve been vaguely aware of what’s happening around me. I recall gesturing to our destination. I recall Malik casting a suspicious looks my way once or twice. I recall stopping for the night and setting up camp. I recall short bathroom breaks along the way. I recall distant murmuring between the talnarins surrounding me.
And now, here we are. Here we sit at the outskirts of the forest where it all went wrong. Before I knew it, I had led Malik and his men here. While I had remained lost in my thoughts the entire journey here, I had somehow led them here. Now, it’s too late, far too late.
Gazing upon the forest, I realize it isn’t the same place I entered the first night I arrived at the talnarin village and met Him. Subconsciously, I had led us to the other side of the forest. Knowing my home is on the other side is unnerving. I can’t handle seeing that place, I can hardly handle the talnarin village we are soon to enter. I’m not ready to face what that place has become because of what I did. Seeing that abandoned and forsaken place would only break me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to face my village.
I force my thoughts away from my past; this is no time to drown, not when I’m about to see Him. I need my wits about me and I need to be prepared. I must harden my mind and strengthen my resolve. I cannot afford to be weak and vulnerable, He will feed off of that. I must be stronger and more capable than I was the first time I came here. I must succeed. I cannot afford to fail here. With those thoughts, I look to Malik only to find his golden eyes burning into mine. His expression is unreadable and I fight to control my breathing.
I can do this.
“It’s just through here. But be prepared for talnarins, I’m not sure what to expect.” I look away from Malik, unable to handle his stare any longer. I take a deep breath and will my heart to slow. My palms are slick with sweat and my chest heaves. I start to count my breaths in my head, hoping to calm my rising panic.
Without another word, the five of us move forward, past the tree line. The sunlight disappears and the temperature drops a few degrees. I shiver despite the present warmth still floating through the air. There’s no sound besides our stomping Capalts. Not hearing the sounds of wildlife in the forest is unnerving, unnatural.
My heartbeat thuds in my chest and the blood rushes in my ears. I need more time. I can’t face this yet. What am I doing? Far too soon, we arrive at the village entrance. My breathing stops and my tears fall. Nothing’s changed, not really. Seeing it all again draws the memory to the surface in a rush.
*******
This village, if you can even call it that, looks nothing like anything I’ve ever seen or heard about before. To the left lies a three story wooden home; windows all along the walls and light pours out. I can see the inner walls are painted warm colors and tapestries hang from various sections. The home is in pristine condition, better than even the Elders hall in my village. Despite the intention for the home to appear inviting and welcoming, my gut screams at me to stay away. It screams that terrible things happen here. I startle when shadows pass by a couple of the open windows. The brief sign of life disturbing and unnerving.
I shift my focus to the middle of the village where a large rounded hole is dug deep into the ground. How deep it goes, I cannot say from this distance. But, four rows of wood benches are situated around this hole. There looks to be a seat for a leader and his wife, in the midst of the benches, under a richly colored awning. From the looks of the rest of the decorations in this place, I would say that nothing pleasant happens in that pit, that nothing pleasant happens in this village period.
To the right, there is an even larger structure than the wooden home made of concrete that seems to reach for the sky. Had I not been staring directly at it, I’d say that a whole building constructed from concrete was impossible. Where they were able to gather that much material? This building lacks windows and from my location, it seems that only one large metal door allows entrance. This dark structure stands so imposing against the night sky, it gives off an aura of menace. This feeling is only further intensified with the three large, occupied, metal cages along the side of the building.
None of the tales the Elders told could warn me of places like this. Even the Traders stories that speak of new things, the talk of their journeys are always to villages similar to mine. This place is horrible and terrifying. I’ve never heard of a place like this. This must be a terrible dream. I fell asleep in my bed and this whole night has been nothing more than a dream. This isn’t real. There aren’t people in those cages.
But it is real. There are live humans in those large metal cages alongside the huge cement building. From this distance, it’s hard to make out the details, but it appears as though they are all bloodied.
They don’t quite look like normal humans either. Their skin is a ghastly shade of green and brown. Some appear bald or close to it, some have bent and misshaped limbs. I imagine that if I were to get closer, they would smell awful too. These people don’t look right. They look sick and dangerous, like they carry diseases that have no cure. The biggest mystery though, is why they are here. Why are they looked away in metal cages in the middle of the forest? What in the Hellvian
is this terrible place? What have I stumbled upon?
With a loud gasp, I pull myself free from the grips of the memory. A large hand grips my throat and squeezes. I flinch, snapping my eyes up. Malik’s expression drains the blood from my face. If looks could kill.
In a voice so dark and quiet he says, “What the fuck was that girl?”
“What?” I manage to wheeze out.
His eyes narrow. “Your eyes glazed over as soon as we passed through the barrier. You didn’t so much as twitch when I grabbed your throat. Then that noise you made… what the fuck happened, girl?”
Understanding dawned. “Memory,” is all I can manage to say with his hand enclosed around my throat.
Even the three other talnarins are on edge. Their skin glows as they survey the burnt village. Malik releases the grip on my throat ever so slightly. Air rushes back in and I start hacking and coughing. Malik’s hand still encompasses my throat in warning but at least I can breathe again.
Once my breathing is under control and the coughing stops I say, “It was a memory.” My voice is hoarse and my throat sore. “I couldn’t help it and it took me by surprise is all. This place doesn’t bring back fond memories.”
Unconvinced, he says, “Don’t play games with me, girl.”
I grit my teeth before spitting, “It’s the truth.” Without a word, Malik’s hand released my throat completely as he slides of his mount. With a quick tug, I’m pulled from mine and I drop into Malik’s arms. I keep my eyes downcast as Malik sets me on the ground and grips my arm.
His face is suddenly inches from mine; I can feel his hot breath as he speaks. “If you try anything, you’ll be dead faster than you can blink.” I snap my eyes up and meet his hard stare. With that, he releases my arm and straightens.
The four talnarins box me in again and the feeling of being suffocated engulfs me, but I don’t say a word. I’m afraid of angering them more. I’m afraid of the repercussions. I’m already treading on thin water, no need to push my boundaries further.
In a matter of seconds, we are moving to the center of the village. I brave another look around this place and spot the differences from the first time I was here. Where the once pristine wooden home stood, now sits burnt ruble. The wooden home no longer brings a bit of life to this haunted talnarin village. Instead, the burnt ruins make this place feel desolate and abandoned. The lack of life and sounds in this village only adds to the creepy feeling. This place appears to be completely abandoned, I’m guessing They all left after the incident.
It’s more than likely that He isn’t here either, and I’m not sure how that makes me feel. On one hand, I’m relieved I don’t have to face Him yet, but on the other hand, a small part of me was looking forward to ending this now.
As I take a closer look around, I spot scorch marks all along the grass leading to the cement prison too. The only building still standing, seemingly untouched, is the cement prison. Even the pit in the middle of the village is burnt; the edges are crumbling in, and the benches that once stood around the pit are broken, blackened with soot. Meanwhile, the cement prison shows no outward sign of scorch marks or burns, alluding to an untouched structure.
But I know better. As we slowly make our way further into the destroyed village, I keep my senses peeled, my attention focused. Who knows what, or who, might be lying in wait.
Chapter 31
We stand at the entrance to the cement prison, and I risk a glance at Malik to find him attentive to his surroundings yet utterly confident in his stance, almost like he hasn’t a care in the world. A quick look to the other four talnarins confirm similar demeanors. If only I could exude that level of confidence, perhaps then I might be able to bluff my way through a confrontation the Malik and Him. As it is, I’m far too transparent in my actions and thoughts.
As Malik reaches for the door, my heart nearly bursts out of my chest. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I was prepared to face this place during my journey here, I am nowhere near ready. Just the thought of entering this prison causes me to shake with residual terror from my past experiences.
Malik is the first to enter the cement prison but all too soon, I’m shuffled inside by the three talnarins surrounding me. Immediately upon entering, the darkness of my mind sweeps me under.
*******
A firm hand pinches the collar of my torn and beaten shirt. I feel my body slide almost effortlessly along the cool cement floors. Screams fill the air and shudders rack my body. I don’t know who’s dragging me back to my cell, but I hate them. From this angle, I can’t even tell if they’re male or female. Whoever it is, they are only prolonging my suffering.
I don’t want to go back. I hate it. It frightens me, the dark and stale room without a window. The sun eludes me, and my sense of time is thrown. I don’t know how long I’ve been trapped in this prison.
My body shifts painfully as we turn a corner. The various aches and bruises coating my skin throb in agony. It’s almost laughable how I hardly notice the pain anymore. It’s more like a dull ache that’s settled into my bones. The only piercing pain I feel is when I move.
We turn one last corner, having memorized the path from the many times I’ve been forced to travel it. I know where I’ll end up next. I’ll be thrown into my small metal box once more where I’ll lay and wait.
As I predicted, my worn body is roughly thrown into the small metal box where it slams against the far wall. Jarring pain echoes through me and I fight a scream. Instead, I bite my lips and beg for strength. The last bit of light fades as the metal door shuts with a final thud. I stay where I landed, refusing to adjust for fear of more throbbing pain.
This time when I surface from the depths of my past, no gasp escapes my lips. My body shudders violently and I count my breaths in my head. Over and over I count until I finally risk a glance up. As I suspected, Malik and his gang stare through me with unreadable expressions on their faces. Thankfully, their stares don’t linger as they resume their survey of the building.
Without thinking, I move forward trying to push past Malik. Before I can take that second step, I’m roughly shoved back into the wall. My body smacks into the metal with a loud bang and my head clanks painfully against the wall. Malik pushes his arm against my throat and my hands instinctively move to pull it off. A fierce glare lines his face and my breath catches. Before he can utter a word I blurt, “I just need to see it.”
Confusion clouds his eyes. “See what, girl?”
“The room. The box. I need to see them both.” I state with so much confidence, like Malik should know what I’m talking about.
“What room and box? What’s in them, and why do you need to see them?” His emphasis on the word need warns me that it’d better be for a good reason.
“The room with equipment like in the manor. The box is a prison cell. I don’t know what’s in them anymore.” I gloss over his last question and pray he doesn’t notice.
But of course he does, because Malik doesn’t miss a thing does he? “Don’t make me ask again.” His voice is deadly and dangerous.
I gulp and take a small breath. “I need to see it because I need to know what became of everything.” Hopefully that’s enough to qualify as an answer because I’m not saying anything more. Malik gives me a hard look before slowly releasing me. Once I’m free, I raise a hand to soothe my tender neck.
Somehow, I’m standing in front of Malik with my back to his chest with his hand gripping the back of my neck. He moved so fast the world blurred. “Lead me to this room and this box. No games, girl.” I nod. With his hand on my neck, he shoves me forward.
Further in the building we go. We take a sharp left and head down the hall. We pass door after door until eventually we take a sharp right. I drag my feet in hopes of slowing Malik down. A marginal tightening of his hand around my neck has me tensing even more. With a quick jerk, I point to the nondescript metal door on our left. Malik tugs me around until we both face t
he door. I shiver, and Malik leans in closer as he reaches for the handle.
I brace myself for the onslaught of memories, but it does little good. Once the small, windowless metal room is fully in view, memories flash in the forefront of my mind. A small whimper escapes my lips and memories clash with more memories.
The chaos in my head is overwhelming and painful. Distantly, I notice a slight loosening around my neck but pay it no mind. The thoughts fighting for control in my head are more concerning.
I’m not sure how much time passes before I’m able to stabilize my mind. With great work, I’m able to shove the memories to the depths of myself, one by one. At first, they stubbornly rise again and again, but somehow my will is stronger. Once my awareness filters back in, I notice the door to the small metal box is once again closed. The immense heat coming from my back warms my insides and pushes the remaining wisps of my memories down. I inhale sharply and deeply, the intoxicating scent of wood and fire soothing.
Suddenly, I realize it’s Malik’s scent I’m breathing in, but still I don’t stop. A deep voice rumbles out from behind me. “Are you calm now, girl?” After a slow nod from me he continues, “Very well. Was this your box or your room?”
“Box.” Without another word, Malik guides me forward, much gentler this time around. We take one more sharp right before we march down another hallway lined with metal doors. Only this time, there are doors on both sides of the hallway. Once again, I grind my feet into the floor and point to a door on the right. My heart thuds painfully in my chest and sweat beads down my back and on my forehead. My hands feel clammy and my head woozy.
This is it.
Once again, I watch as Malik reaches for the handle. Once again, I brace myself for the memories. Once again, it’s not enough.
The same metal walls remain and the same metal table sits in the center. Now though, the machines are fried and burnt. All the cords and screens are melting and clumped together in a pile of mush on the ground. Floating all over the floor is what others would claim as dust, but I know better. They’re ashes.
Fractured Past (A Talnarin Novel Book 1) Page 19
