by Hadley Quinn
“Wait a minute, you’re losing me,” Tate interrupted. “Did you say ‘continuous support?”
She nodded adamantly. “Yes, of course. Mr. McCallan has come in here himself to make sure everything is the best it can be.”
Tate was a little blown away. Neil McCallan would make the extra effort to personally follow up on a charity case he’d thrown money at?
“And goodness, the elderly ladies here…” Julianne smiled excitedly. “To see someone so young and handsome that they recognize—”
“Hold up,” he interrupted again. “Who exactly are you talking about?”
She was obviously puzzled but answered, “Max McCallan? Um, he’s an actor that—”
“I know who he is,” Tate laughed quietly, his surprise trying to make sense at the same time. “You’re telling me that it’s Max that comes in here to check on things?”
She continued to look confused, but answered, “Yes, he’s the one that implemented all the changes here. He approached me directly and asked me to transfer to this facility with Regina—the new administrator.”
“He just…found you at another facility and…asked you to improve another one? And you said yes?”
“I’m a friend of the family,” she answered. “My mother works at McC studios in the casting department. She’s known Max since he was a baby.”
Tate slowly nodded, doing his best to take in the new information. It actually seemed more believable than Kellie’s grandfather having any sort of interest in the place. He’d just had someone else take care of something he didn’t want to do. How Max ended up with the task, Tate wasn’t sure.
“I feel like I’m tattling on someone,” Julianne smiled guiltily. “I know Max doesn’t like to share a lot of the things he does to help others, but I guess I thought you knew because…”
“Because of Kellie?” Tate asked, but it was mainly rhetorical. “Well she’s full of surprises. Thanks again for everything, Julianne. I’m gonna go say bye to Gram and then head out. Call—”
“Call if your grandma needs anything,” she cut in with a grin. “I know the routine, Tate.”
He chuckled. “Okay.”
He told Rayne and Gram he was heading out, and then called Kellie again on his way to his truck.
Voicemail. Again.
And he was officially about to panic.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Kellie, I’m not kidding. Call him.”
Max’s voice was firm, but Kellie knew the calmness was not going to last much longer.
“I’m fine right now,” she told him.
“I don’t care. You’re avoiding his calls and texts because you don’t want him to see you like this.”
“So? I don’t want him to worry. I just need to figure something out. There’s nothing to worry about. And I just messaged him that I’m at home.”
“There’s nothing to worry about?”
“Max,” she growled at him. “I called you because I knew you’d understand. Are you saying I shouldn’t have? I trust you. You know how to deal with me.”
He sighed. “You’re not something I have to ‘deal’ with, Kell. And I always want you to turn to me if you need to, but you have someone in your life right now that’s trying to be there for you just as much. Why are you so scared to let him? You told me you had a major breakthrough with him, and that’s great, hon. So stop resorting to your old habits of fighting this battle on your own. You have people that love and support you. You have no need for your mom, Kellie. If she can’t be a positive factor in your life, you just don’t need her.”
She looked at him long and hard and narrowed her eyes. “Sounds familiar.”
He hung his head slightly in thought, then lifted it to meet her stare. “Point taken. And I’m doing something about it. It’s just going to take a bit of time and…a lot of fight if it comes to it.”
She cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean? What’s going on, Max?”
He relaxed and sat back on the couch more comfortably. “Let’s just say that your boyfriend is a pretty inspirational guy.”
Her eyes went wide. “Tate? What do you mean? I mean I know he’s pretty amazing, but when did you guys talk or what’d he say?”
Max took his time responding as he vacantly stared across the room. “Let’s just say he’s mentioned a couple of things that I’ve been considering more and more lately. He gave me something that—”
There was a heavy knock on the door, and Tate’s voice called Kellie’s name.
“He sounds pissed,” Kellie sighed, getting up to answer the door.
“No, he sounds worried,” Max corrected her. “And I should get going and let you talk to him about what happened.”
Kellie frowned, but it was because she was more interested in having both Max and Tate together, and possibly finding out what those two had been up to.
Tate knocked again. “Kellie, seriously, open the—”
It was Max that pulled the door open to face a very winded Tate with his arm raised to knock again.
“Hey, man,” Max said as he stepped past him for the hall. “If she doesn’t tell you what happened, give me a call.”
“What?!” Kellie exclaimed, glaring at him. But Max waved his hand behind him and pressed the down button for the elevator. She stepped aside and motioned for Tate to enter and shut the door behind them. “Did you run up the stairs?”
“Yeah, it’s faster than the elevator,” he rubbed at his hip. “But what is going on? Have you gotten my calls and my texts?”
“I have, I just haven’t had a chance to call yet—”
“A simple ‘I’m at home’ in a text would have been fine,” he eyed her carefully.
“Check your phone,” she nodded to his pocket, assuming it was there.
He slid his phone out of his pocket and swiped the screen on. His mouth twitched slightly and he sighed. “Okay, that was when I was driving here, but I’ve been worried about you.”
“Why?”
“Because you got off at eight and said you’d call. You knew I was visiting my grandma until then. I was expecting you to call and I got worried when I couldn’t get a hold of you. I just felt like something was wrong. Sorry if I worry,” he held up his hands defensively.
She smiled and shook her head, but wrapped her arms around his waist. “I like that you care where I’m at. Max came by when you called the first time and I just got caught up with talking to him.”
“And what was wrong? What do you need to tell me?”
“It’s not a huge deal…”
“Kellie?” he prodded.
With a sigh she said, “My mom stopped by my work today…”
“Oh God,” he groaned.
“Yeah, it was kind of a nightmare. We got into a huge fight in the back room, I couldn’t get her to leave…”
“What were you fighting about?” he asked.
She hesitated, not wanting to even bring it up. It had absolutely no merit whatsoever so there really was no point. But she promised herself she would be completely honest with Tate, and even though Max had a hard time believing her, she had every intention of bringing it up.
Well, most of it.
“Let me guess,” Tate began when she hadn’t said anything. “She has a problem with me and wanted to make sure you knew it.”
From the look on his face, it seemed like he knew exactly what the argument was about. “Did my mother speak to you?” When he didn’t respond right away, she asked again. “Tate? Please tell me she didn’t stop by your workplace too.”
“Okay, I won’t tell you that,” he smiled.
“It’s not funny!” she playfully swatted his chest. “God, she pisses me off.”
“Yeah, it’s not big deal, Kell. She tried to get her two cents in but I wouldn’t let her. I’ll tell you all about it, but first, tell me what happened at work. Are you okay?”
She blew out a breath of air and part of her bangs poofed out. “Yeah, I’m fine now.
When she catches me off guard like that, I have a harder time keeping myself calm. Half of me wants to rip her hair out and the other half of me wants to curl up in a corner and cry. Those two emotions kind of collide sometimes and I start having a panic attack. So I walked away. I just left work, got in my car, rolled the windows down and turned the music up, and came home. I took a bath, ordered a pizza—there’s leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry—and then took a nap. I’m fine, see?” she held her arms out and did a little twirl.
He leaned forward and kissed her temple. “You’re a beautiful sight. And these panic attacks… You’ve had them before, I’m assuming.”
She slowly bobbed her head in agreement.
“Do you take anything for them?”
“No, I can feel them coming on and can usually ward them off. But every now and then I can’t. Those are the times I get kind of scared, like my chest in closing in on me and my legs feel restless. To give you the full scoop, it’s why I could never do what Max does. Just the idea of having to please people or perform for someone or say the right things and do the right things… It gives me major anxiety.”
“Do you feel that way around me sometimes?” he asked.
She took her time answering. “I used to,” she admitted. “I don’t anymore.”
He slowly nodded.
“I trust you, Tate,” she added. She wasn’t sure if he was agreeing or trying to dissect her words. “If you don’t feel that from me… I’m really sorry.”
“I do believe you,” he answered. “I mean you can’t tell someone to trust you, so I have to step back sometimes and let you learn to. I don’t want to push you, but I wish you didn’t feel so uncomfortable around me.”
She studied him for a few seconds, knowing exactly what he was referring to. She feared that learning to love her body was always going to be a challenge, even though she knew that Tate loved everything about her. One doctor had told her that time would help her get past her insecurities; another had told her she could very well always feel undeserving of someone’s unconditional love. Apparently there were some psychological ailments that could never be overcome. Those silent diseases that no one could see on the outside, but can slowly destroy the person they occupy…
How the fuck was she supposed to deal with that?
She talked to Tate about it and he seemed to understand. It was a similar situation with PTSD, depression, people with chronic pain… Not everyone understood those things unless they’d suffered it themselves. She was surprised by how much of what he shared with her was what she’d been told by professionals already.
“Because I’ve been there, sweetheart,” he smiled. “I know exactly what you mean. So please don’t keep things from me because you think it’s saving me the trouble. Sometimes just stating something out loud will do more for you than actually being ‘counseled’ anything.”
“That’s so true,” she agreed. He’d already granted that opportunity when they’d had their special date in the back of his truck. “And maybe this isn’t the same thing, but what do you think of this?” she asked, handing him her phone. It was a text message her mother had sent after she woke up from her nap.
Tate scoffed and shook his head. “She’s staying for another week, huh? Unbelievable. Kellie, know your triggers, okay? I’m just saying…”
“I know exactly what you’re saying and I agree.” Even though she wasn’t surprised that her mom had decided to stay in the area longer, she was actually a bit shocked by her audacity. First making a scene at the salon, and then showing up at Tate’s place of employment?
She asked him about it while they sat on the couch, and while still shaking her head after his account, she decided right then and there she no longer had to find a way to deal with her mom. She was done. Two parents, and neither one of them could provide her with anything useful in her life. She hated looking down on the situation, but it was the cold, hard truth.
She needed to walk away from it.
“I’m so tired,” she finally said. “Even with that nap, I’m a bit drained.”
“Well let’s get you to bed, beautiful. You want to watch some TV in your room for a while before I leave?”
She frowned, literally feeling the weight of those words squeeze her heart. “The only thing I really want is for you to stay here with me,” she answered quietly. She waited for a response, but other than the concern etched on his face, he didn’t give her a verbal reply. “Please, Tate. I want us to be together for the night. It was perfect in the bed of your truck; we can make it happen again.”
He stood from the couch and held out his hand to help her up. “There’s nothing I want more than that. Trust me.”
“But?”
She flipped off the lamp on her way by but allowed him to lead her down the hall. Expecting that he was just going to tuck her in and leave, she resigned herself to a night alone. She stripped off her pajama pants and climbed into bed.
“I love you,” she told him. “Come kiss me goodnight.”
He smiled, but instead of kissing her until it eventually led to goodbye sex, he pulled off his shirt and cargo shorts and tossed them on the chair. He climbed under the covers and tugged her close to him, and instead of questioning whether he was staying or not, she just enjoyed whatever opportunity she had with him.
She flipped off the lamp and burrowed into his chest as he held her tight.
“I love you, too.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
“I just…I can’t even believe this,” Max said as he continued to glance over the papers in his hand.
He went silent for another five minutes as Tate sipped his orange juice across from him. Max made a noise of disbelief, his mouth slightly opened, and he smacked his hand to his forehead and left it there as he kept reading.
He turned another page.
Tate remained silent for another ten minutes as he finished off his pancakes. The café was in full swing at ten a.m. on a Sunday morning, but Max had been entirely in his own world ever since he’d been handed the most personal aspects of Tate’s life, all in an eleven-by-thirteen-inch box.
Max finally set down the current document, placing it back in the box that was on the seat next to him. He didn’t speak for almost a minute before he finally looked up at Tate with eyes that were full of emotion, almost completely leaden with worry.
“I just can’t,” he said at last. “I can’t, man. I appreciate it—I mean this is… Oh my God,” he shook his head, his hand rubbing his face again. “Thank you for sharing this with me—I mean I’m completely honored that you would—but I just can’t use it.”
“Why not?” Tate asked, barely missing a beat as he finished off his hash browns. “I brought it here just for you.”
“But…why?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes still shimmering with moisture. “I mean seriously, man, I am so fucking flattered that you would trust me with this but…why?”
Tate swallowed his last bite and took a drink. He relaxed against the seat and released a small sigh. “Over the past couple of years I’ve found that I’ve been sizing people up quite easily. Call it some kind of intuition because of what I’ve been through, I don’t know, but it happens with everyone I come across. I don’t like to think of it as judging people; more like I try to sense what they are all about. Just an overall feeling, nothing detailed, but just their basic overall character. I did it to Kellie, I did it to Jay, I did it to Teague and Tyse, your dad, your grandpa…and I did it to you.”
He paused, trying to think of the best way to word what he wanted to say. He waited for the waitress to clear his plate before he continued.
“You know, Kellie is right about your family,” he went on. “The dynamics, I mean. You guys have some fucking strange situations going on,” he chuckled, shaking his head.
Max smiled but seemed to agree.
“But what I’ve realized is that there is a lot of misunderstanding; a lot of confusion as to who everyone is suppose
d to be to one another. The funny thing is, you’re all wrong and you’re all right. It’s just a fact that people need to realize, hopefully sooner than later. But if you’re serious about what you said your plans are…then I support you one hundred percent, Max. I think it’s a decision that has been calling you for a while now and it’s time to make it happen.”
Max sighed and shook his head. “It’s not something that will turn out okay overnight.”
“I realize that, but I truly feel your intentions are in the right place, and if you do this, it’s going to make a huge difference in the things you’ve been wanting to change in your life.”
“And you are entrusting me with this information,” he motioned to the box. “I mean…I still don’t even know how to respond.”
“Well actually you already rejected it, but I didn’t really believe that was your true answer,” Tate smirked.
Max studied him for a few seconds, and then slowly shook his head without a reply.
“Is that what you meant about feeling it?” Tate asked, referring to the box. “Is that what you’ve been looking for?”
Max exhaled. “Yeah, man. So much I just…I wasn’t expecting that at all.” He rubbed his face again and then placed his forearms on the table. “I’m very sorry you had to go through that. All of it.”
“Don’t be sorry. Everything happens for a reason. And even though I struggle with some of it now and then, I know I’m still in the recovery phases. Hell, I might always be, but this is life, you know? It’s my life and I’ve accepted it.”
Max barely nodded. “Has Kellie looked at this stuff?”
Tate measured his response first. “Mmm, most of it. I don’t think she’s ready for all of it yet.”
Max slowly bobbed his head as he stared blankly across the room. After almost a minute, he looked at Tate again. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Trust me, I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. But like I said, there are certain terms to be met.”
“Yeah, I understand.”
Tate agreed with a nod and then stood, pulling his wallet out of his pocket.
