I brought my arms up around his shoulders and he let out a long breath, wrapping his arms around my waist.
And then his lips were on mine, gentle but so unbelievably urgent, his whole body pressed against mine like we both refused to let the other go.
Nineteen
Adam
“Oh God, Adam, I was so scared,” Grey said, a tear falling from his eye as he pulled away slightly from the kiss. “I thought—I was so sure I fucked everything up, by being stupid and prideful—”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re wonderful, Grey. It was so unbelievably fucking stupid of me to do that without asking you. I never want to do anything like that again that isn’t with you, with us, as a team.”
“Grey,” I said to him, soft and hesitant. “Did you… did you see the book?”
“Of course I did,” he said. “Adam I’ve never gotten a gift like that in my entire fucking life.”
I swallowed hard, holding him tight in my arms. The rain started to fall even faster around us, but I didn’t care, I couldn’t care, not when the most important thing in my life was right in front of me.
“Did you see the last page?” I said, terrified of what the answer might be.
He nodded slowly.
“Listen. I know it’s crazy. And if you’re not comfortable with it, just tell me that. It doesn’t need to mean it’s the end for us. I don’t want to rush you into anything—”
“Adam,” he said, a small smile forming on his lips, small drops of rain running down his face and over his ruddy lips.
He reached up two fingers, pushing them gently to my mouth, quieting me.
“I want you to come with me,” he said, looking me in the eyes. “There’s nothing I want more, Adam. And I know it’s crazy, but I know it’s right.”
“Then I’m going with you,” I said, firmly. “Big city of Portland, here I fucking come.”
Grey’s smile widened and then he laughed, loud and bright, throwing his head back in the rain. His arms were still wrapped around my neck, and I smiled down at him, running a hand from his temple down to his jaw.
“How’s this for romance, Grey?” I said, still beaming down at him.
“Fuck,” he said, “This is better than any movie, book, or show I’ve ever seen. Because it’s real, Adam. And I fucking love you so much.”
“I love you too, Grey.”
I leaned in to kiss him again, this time harder, giving myself to him completely. We stayed like that for a while, just wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing madly in front of his house in the rain, until we heard a tiny bark from at our feet.
“Chew-Chew,” Grey said, pulling back with a smile, looking down at Chewy.
“Let’s bring her inside?” I said.
Grey nodded, and reluctantly dropped his arms from around me. As he turned to head back inside the house, I walked right behind him, bending down every few steps to press a kiss to his neck, his shoulder, his hair.
He laughed at me, and I was glad he did. I was being silly, and I felt practically drunk on emotion, and I didn’t give a fuck what I looked like or what I was doing because I was too happy.
We made our way inside, and immediately Chewy shook off the excess rain and ran over to her dog bed in the kitchen.
“God, I missed you, Adam,” Grey said, looking at me.
“I missed you too,” I said quietly.
“Adam?” he said, looking up at me from under his lashes. He was still fairly soaking wet, standing in his sweatshirt, and it took everything in me not to lift him into the air.
“Yes?” I said, taking a step closer.
“Will you touch me, please? I just—I need you,” he said. He looked as open, as raw as I’d ever seen him, and I practically drew to him like a magnet, all at once my hands at the sides of his neck, lips pressed to his hair, his temple, the side of his face still wet with rain. He moaned into my touch and gripped me hard, pressing his body up against mine. I could feel the stiff outline of his cock through the layers of fabric, pressed hard against my thigh.
Just feeling him there, already so hot and ready, made my cock respond just as quickly.
And I realized that I wanted something—something that I didn’t usually want, but that couldn’t possibly feel more right in that moment.
“Grey,” I said, practically growling into his neck as I sucked a kiss into his skin.
“Mmm?” he mumbled back.
“I want you to do something for me… can I ask you something?”
“Please do,” he said. “Please. Anything.”
I pulled back, looking him in the eye. “Can you fuck me tonight, Grey?”
His eyes widened for a moment, and his hands gripped tighter against my hips. “You mean…?”
“Yes,” I said, “I want you inside me. I need it.” We had never done it that way before—I usually did enjoy topping, but every now and then I was in the mood to bottom. And it was all I wanted in that moment. I trusted Grey with anything, and I wanted to feel him inside me.
“I want to come on your cock, Grey,” I continued, unable to stop myself. “I want to come with you buried inside me,” I said, bending to nip at his lower lip. “And I want you to feel me tight around you. I want to give you everything.”
“Oh my God, Adam,” he said, looking up at me. “You already have.”
I pressed a slow kiss to his mouth and then pulled away, unzipping his hoodie slowly and working it off his shoulders. He pulled his shirt up and off as I did mine, and I watched as he systematically removed every piece of clothing he was wearing and then did the same to me. After stripping me naked, he looked over at me, coquettish, and raked his eyes up and down my body.
He placed his hands against my chest, palms flat, and gently pushed me back to the bed, where I fell back onto the sheets. He positioned himself above me, straddling me, his cock teasingly barely touching mine as he bent down to kiss me.
His kisses started and they didn’t seem to stop. He moved from my mouth, down my jaw, and to my shoulders, tasting every inch of my skin. He paused to lavish attention on my nipples, sending shudders through me. I involuntarily hipped up against him, bucking up to press my hard cock to his body above me, but he’d place his hands against my hips, gently shoving me back down, as if he was telling me to be patient.
And I tried so hard to be patient. He worked his way down my body, kissing down my stomach and to my thighs, neglecting my aching cock. I looked down to see him between my legs, and he looked up at me, sucking a kiss against the tender skin on my inner thigh, as a drip of precum leaked out of my cock.
Normally I was the one teasing him like this, always wanting to go so slow, draw out every moment. But I was so hungry for him, needy in a way I usually wasn’t. I had been so vulnerable with him, in a way I didn’t know if I’d ever been with another person.
In other words, Grey knew me like no one else did. And now he was kissing lower, his hands reaching up to push my knees back and upward, spreading me down below.
And all the sudden, in some small act of mercy, he licked a warm, thick stripe across my balls with his tongue. It was at once both agonizing and perfect, and I let out a moan as he lapped against me.
And then finally he licked up my cock, pausing to taste my precum before lowering down onto me, taking me all the way.
“Jesus Christ, Grey,” I whispered. He lavished attention on me for another minute, and I lost myself in it, just luxuriating in the feel of his mouth like velvet against me.
After a while he lifted off of me, sitting up and reaching over to his bedside drawer and taking out the small bottle of lube.
“You still want me inside you?” he said, gazing at me as he slicked his hand.
“So fucking bad,” I said, spreading my knees wider.
He smiled down at me as he dropped between my legs again, pressing a small kiss to my hip. He teased his fingers around my hole, not going inside yet, but slicking the area and circling around me.
/> “Adam?” Grey said, looking up at me.
“Yes?”
He paused for a moment, staring at me intently as his finger pressed against my hole. “I fucking love you,” he said, as he finally entered me, his finger sliding inside.
“Oh my God,” I called out, taking a breath as my eyes fluttered shut. I opened them a moment later, staring down at his smoldering gaze. “Jesus Christ I love you too.”
“You’re so tight, Adam,” he murmured. His eyes fluttered down to my cock, and he sank his mouth down onto my cock again as he slipped another finger inside me, going slower this time, easing me open while he relaxed me with his mouth.
I relaxed as he pushed deeper into me, until I felt his fingers sinking inside all the way.
“That’s right,” he said after he lifted his mouth off my cock, “You can take it. So good.” His little words of praise only made my cock harder, only made me rock against his fingers even more.
And I still wanted more. I started to work in rhythm against his fingers, squeezing around him, gradually loosening until I felt ready to take all of him.
“Fuck me,” I said to him, and his eyes briefly widened. “I’m ready. I need it. I want you, Grey.”
Slowly, he slid his fingers out of me and quickly bent to meet me in a hot kiss. He extracted a condom from the drawer and slipped it on before slicking his cock with lube.
“God, you are so fucking hot,” he uttered, raking his eyes over me. “Spread like that for me, begging me to fuck you.”
My cock twitched at his words. I honestly hadn’t expected this from Grey—I knew how much he loved being fucked, but I never could have predicted how into fucking me he would be. But the look in his eyes was pure lust, joy, and love as he moved between my legs again, hitching my hips upward and sliding his cock gently across my entrance. He was loving every moment of this, teasing me, dragging his fingertips across my thighs and up my cock.
“Say it,” he told me.
“What?” I said, genuinely surprised.
“Tell me what you want, baby,” he said, his voice low and steady. “I love hearing you say it.”
Slowly it clicked. “Please fuck me, Grey. I told you how bad I needed it. Please I need your cock inside me,” I said, meaning every single word I said.
And finally, I felt him, pushing the tip of his cock inside me, eyes locked with mine the whole time. I moaned as I felt him entering me, and his mouth fell open as he slid his cock further inside me.
And in my head, all I could think was one thing, over and over: More. More. More.
Because I had wanted this so long. Not just the physical pleasure of everything Grey was doing to me, but the fact that he had given me all of him, bared his soul for me outside in the rain. Told me he loved me. Accepted when I said it back.
And so it didn’t feel like Grey fucking me so much as it felt like the bliss of finally, totally, having each other. I watched him over me, moving inside me so slow at first, but then with more and more speed, working up to a steady pace, keeping his eyes on mine whenever they weren’t squeezed shut.
He reached out and gripped one of my hands in his own, squeezing so tight as he fucked into me, a gesture both so sweet and so lustful all in one.
He only released my hand so that his would be free then to wrap around my cock, and by that point, I was fucking done for. It was so much, feeling him filling me up, and then to have his hand on my straining cock too?
“Grey, holy fuck,” I said, my voice coming out broken. “I’m—you’re—”
“I’m close, too,” he said quickly, giving me an almost pained look as he thrust into me. “I want you to come, Adam.”
As he said it he sort of hitched my hips up higher—just the slightest bit, not even an inch, but the change in angle and how his cock hit me inside just right was enough to send me over the edge. I moaned unintelligibly, gripping the sides of Grey’s hips as I came forcefully, all the way up to my chest. Grey rocked inside me and kept his hand stroking my cock.
“Oh my God,” I heard him whisper, “So fucking beautiful, Adam, I’m—fuck,” he said, and then he was coming too, thrusting deep as he could into me, breath coming hot and heavy.
I couldn’t think. Couldn’t do anything other than feel; feel him inside me, feel his breath on me, and feel deep down how fucking perfect this beautiful creature was for me. He slowly slid out of me, and after grabbing tissues and cleaning off my chest and discarding his condom, he laid right next to me.
We just breathed for a while, before he turned slightly in the bed, reaching down ever so slightly to press a light kiss to my shoulder. I reached my hand up to his hair, which was adorably mussed and fucked up, and I met his heavy-lidded gaze.
“You,” I said, pressing a kiss to his hair.
“Me? …Me what?” he said, voice still hoarse.
“I love you, that’s what,” I said.
“God, I love you, Adam,” he replied, and then his arm was draped across my chest.
We laid there in silence, just enjoying each other’s presence, and I kind of couldn’t remember a time when I had been so happy.
But suddenly, I was struck with an idea. I had done something a week ago, and all at once I needed to show it to Grey, right away.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hm?”
“There’s something I really want to do right now,” I said to him.
“Jesus, you’re already ready for round two? I mean, I might need like, twenty minutes to recover….” Grey said, smiling at me.
I gave him a playful tap on the shoulder. “No. That’s not it.”
“Then what?”
“Well, I can show you, but it requires me putting on a pair of pants.”
“Oh, then it can’t possibly be anything good,” Grey said, nestling back into the crook of my shoulder.
“But it is good though, I promise,” I told him, giving him a gentle squeeze. “It’ll be worth it. And after I do it, I swear I’ll immediately take my pants back off again and get promptly back into bed with you.”
He looked up at me, blue eyes big and bright. “Promise?” he said in the sweetest voice I could possibly imagine.
“Fuck yeah, I promise,” I said, and bent to give him a soft, slow kiss.
“Okay,” he said as he pulled away. “I trust you. I release you to go put on your evil pants,” he said, lifting his arm away and rolling over onto the pillows.
I grinned at him as I sprang out of the bed, then rummaged for my pants on the floor and pulled them on, followed by my shoes.
“Shoes?!” Grey said, in mock horror. “You never said a damned thing about those.”
I held up my finger. “Just wait. I will be back in literally under 60 seconds. You can time it.”
He crossed his arms, giving me a devilish glance. I sprinted out his front door, over to my house, only getting mildly drenched in the steady rain before making it to my house. Once inside I quickly located my guitar, chucked it in its case, and then ran back out and over to Grey’s again.
“Did you time me?” I said, catching my breath and kicking off my shoes. I laid the guitar against the wall and then hastily removed my pants again.
“I did, and that was a cool 55 seconds,” Grey said. “You were playing with fire, there, Adam.”
I smiled down at him from his perch on the bed. I took the guitar out of its case and went and sat down on the side of the bed, just next to Grey’s legs.
“You gonna play for me?” he said, looking up at me.
“You’re damn right I am,” I said, quickly tuning the guitar strings.
“Nice.”
I started playing the opening chords of a song I’d written a week ago. I didn’t know how Grey was going to react to it—it was incredibly cheesy, and there were lines in it all about him. There was one about the gifts he’d given me. About Chewy. About what a bright spot he had become in my life. As I sang I looked down at the guitar, half embarrassed and half not ready to see what h
is reaction was.
Because really, it was kind of a silly song. Just a thing I’d written when I knew I loved Grey but I hadn’t told him yet.
I finished playing the final chord, and took a deep breath, laying the guitar back down against the wall, then finally turning to look at Grey.
And the look on his face was like nothing I’d ever seen on him before.
Firstly, he was crying—not a crazy, emotional sob like he had done earlier, but just a few tears, rolling down his face as he smiled up at me.
“You okay?” I asked, standing above him.
To my surprise, he let out a laugh. “Get your naked ass back in bed with me so I can show you how the hell that made me feel,” he said, tugging at my hands until I toppled over him, laughing and rolling onto the other side of the bed. He pushed himself over my body and crushed his lips against mine, kissing me so passionately and deeply that I felt like I was floating up and out of my body.
He pulled me into a tight hug afterward, letting out a long sigh.
“Oh my God, Adam, that meant more to me than you will ever know. Thank you. Jesus Christ, thank you so much.”
“Grey, thank you for letting me be in your life.”
“Yeah, you’re kind of required to be in my life now, I hope you know that,” he joked, pulling back to give me a grin. We laid down on our sides, looking at each other, like two teenagers with their first loves.
Because in a way, this was our first true love. For both of us. The journey had been long and very different for me and Grey, but in the end it had brought us both to right where we were.
And I realized all at once what it was.
What it felt like to lie there with him in my arms.
What I was feeling, finally, was home.
Epilogue
Grey
“You do realize that I’m going to play guitar for all the animals.”
“Yeah? That’ll be your contribution to the business?
“Yup, you bet your ass.”
I smiled wide at Adam from across the table. We were in our favorite restaurant in Portland, which served vegetarian food you’d never even guess was vegetarian. It was just that good. We were tucked into a cozy booth near the big windows, waiting for my mom and Mark to come meet us for dinner.
Wild Star: Under the Stars Book 3 Page 21
