by Lainy Lane
"What were you doing upstairs?" His question was immediate, and his voice was raised half an octave.
Calandra knew she was on thin ice and chose to tread carefully. "Just looking around at things, I’m considering finally doing some rearranging up there," she replied innocently.
Just as the words left her mouth, she noticed that something was off about Jarreth. His eyes were not the beautiful baby blue they usually were. They were a dark cobalt blue and a bit more opaque than usual with a glossed over look to them. He looked drunk, there was a sadistic and pleased smile set into his face that lit a fire of anxiety inside of Calandra.
"Why are you back so soon?" she asked, pressing for information. She knew something was off as the tension in the air increased around them and she was determined to figure out what it was.
"I told you I wouldn't be long.” He was quick to respond, too quick, and he walked away from her immediately.
This standoffish Jarreth was new, and Calandra had never seen his eyes look like this before. Faerie's eyes were always opaque, and they changed colors based on their emotions. Younger Fae who didn’t know how to control their responses would have their eyes stay whatever color their mood reflected, but older Fae learned enough control so they would only flash a color momentarily. But Jarreth's eyes weren't changing back, and unfortunately, Calandra didn’t have a guide to tell her which color meant what. She made a mental note to make some sort of index to be able to refer to in the future.
"Jarreth, what's wrong?" she asked as she walked over to the dining area where he was staring out the window, seeming to be detached from the world around him. Because of the way the cabin was built, the only thing you could see through the windows were the leaves of the tree the house had been constructed into. Yet Jarreth stared out the glass like there was some kind of scenery playing out before him. "Jarreth?" She said his name once more after several awkwardly quiet moments.
As if she had pulled him out of some kind of daydream, he slowly turned to look at her. "Yeah?"
"You weren't gone long enough to even make it into town, so where did you go?" She drew out her question to display her suspicion and the importance she placed on his response being truthful.
"You must have lost track of time, Cal." His voice sounded as if he had just woken up from a deep slumber. "I had plenty of time."
Calandra eyed him suspiciously. She hadn’t lost track of anything. She knew she hadn’t. She may have been distracted by the findings in the chest, but she knew without a doubt that Jarreth had only been gone for a short period of time.
"Were you up there playing with your powers?" he asked, his voice returning to its usual lyrically husky sound.
"No!" Calandra scoffed at his audacity. "Why are you changing the subject?"
"I'm not, I was just asking a question, don't get offensive over it."
Calandra rolled her eyes and for once didn’t bother to try and hide it. Jarreth walked away once again and sat on the couch in the living room, his right leg shook as he fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt. She considered heading over and asking him what was wrong again, but judging by his behavior, she knew it wouldn’t do her any good. Plus, she was too interested in looking at the book she was secretly carrying to bother wasting time with the childish games that would pursue.
"Whatever, I'll leave you to do your thing, whatever that is," she sighed. "I'm gonna go out to the field for a bit, I need some time."
"Time alone?" Jarreth's eyes suddenly switched to a tint of green and returned to the odd cobalt color that wasn't his.
"Yes," she replied directly. Without giving him a chance to argue or to follow after her, Calandra turned and left.
CHAPTER FOUR
Silent Echo
The field was soundless, and Calandra found herself wondering if it too knew that what she was doing seemed forbidden. She walked over to the tree that she felt she knew so well. She hadn't been to the field in a long while, far longer than she’d allowed herself to stay away from it since she’d arrived in Faerie. The last few experiences she'd had there had turned quite dramatic, which led her to decide she needed a break from her visits. Despite knowing it was probably for the best, she simply couldn't help but feel drawn to this place. There was a sense of longing in her as she reached out and lay her hand on the trunk of her favorite tree. The stress of wondering what was going on with Jarreth dissipated instantly. Nature coursed through her body and laced every nerve with elation. Her skin came alive with the sensation her affinity with nature brought to her. Peace washed over her like a calming tide rolling onto the beach at night.
This new calm took away from the forbidden feeling of being there and convinced her to sit and open the little book. She leaned against the trunk of the tree, afraid of losing the emotions coursing through her if she were to break her contact with it. She ran her hand across the cover of the book. It was made of chestnut leather and tattered on the ends. It seemed very fragile, but it had held on to carry the words someone filled it with onto a new generation. A thin piece of twine held it shut. It wound around it three times with a miniscule knot holding it together. There were a few black words written at the right edge of the cover that were barely legible, the test of time had faded them significantly. Echo Sasha Trakas, Calandra had to squint her eyes and lean in close to finally make out the name. Her heart dropped at the sight of her great grandmother's name. She had wondered so much about the woman ever since her visions first started and she had one with a woman that she somehow knew had to have been Echo.
Something inside her seemed to tug at the memory of the vision and the conversation she had with her dad, who she chose to no longer claim, afterward. Her father, Chase, who had kept her sheltered her entire life and forced his holier-than-thou Christian ways on her had turned out to be anything but what she had grown up knowing. Chase was actually Kailen in this world, and he was also the reason the Fae world hung in the balance at the moment and was in need of someone to steady it back out and save it. Her dad had always been a nuisance, as one was expected to be to a teenager. But, upon her arrival to Faerie, she discovered he was also her mortal enemy. Their last confrontation had started poorly, but ended satisfactorily for Calandra when she discovered a new power and was able to not only out power him, but force him to leave despite his own refusal.
Her powers had been stronger than anyone expected them to be ever since she arrived. Calandra was supposedly only part Fae, but her abilities and the dragonfly that rested on her left shoulder had everyone wondering what they didn't know about her heritage. Excitement scampered through Calandra as she realized that she just might be holding the answers to why she was the way she was in her hand at the moment. She smiled and quickly opened the book hoping to finally find a few more pieces to the puzzle her life had become. With hope filling her entire being, she unwrapped the book from the twine and opened it up to the first page.
I have decided to start recording events that are happening currently. Things may change, things that are important to me may disappear... I may disappear. Regardless of what may come, I want something to remember these times of my life.
Calandra read the first few lines of Echo’s diary and smiled. She ran her hand along the page. The pages of the diary were a thick, parchment type paper. They had yellowed in their age, and the edges of the paper were rough and withered. The writing was in bold ink, and there were ink splats all over the page as if it had been written with one of the old-fashioned fountain pens that you had to dip in ink before writing. The words had been drafted very neatly, and Calandra noticed that it looked very similar to her own handwriting. At the center of the book, the pages had begun to separate some from their binding. She shuffled through the pages, skimming them all across her fingertips and fanning them out until she noticed a poem written on the back cover.
Faith, hope, love
Things we all desire
Someone to turn to when push comes to shove
A promise that
somehow, someway we will go higher
It’s just human nature
Though it doesn’t always add up the same way
Every hope doesn’t have to be a prayer
Won’t change who you are at the end of the day
We’re all just looking for something to believe in
Something more to life
Stars, Math, Science
Beliefs to fill the void
Just another way to find some guidance
At the end no one wants to see it all destroyed
We want new beginnings
Just because your beginning differs from my own
Doesn’t mean you won’t have your own winnings
Just as long as your life’s not totally blown
We’re all just looking for something to believe in
Something more to life
A way to feel comfortable in our own skin
A void to fill the grief
They don’t have to be the same
It only has to bring you peace
It only has to fuel your flame
It only has to make the pain cease
Just look around
It’s not coincidence
There’s no reason to cut anyone down
No point in making anyone take the defense
Just let everyone be
Discover your own individuality
Your view is not the only one to see
That only leads to mental fatalities
We’re all just looking for something to believe in
Something more to life
A way to feel comfortable in our own skin
A void to fill the grief
She smiled at the notions and thoughts of Echo and how similar they were to her own feelings. Hidden in her nightstand in her room in the mortal world, she too had a book full of random poetry and thoughts she had written at various points of her life. She turned back to the beginning and placed her palm on the first page. After several long breaths, she moved her hand and began to read again.
"Wanna see something cool?" His voice made her jump and sent chills through her at the same time. How had he known she was there? He was one of the reasons she had been avoiding the field for the last few weeks. She didn’t want another encounter with him.
"Not from you, Kailen." She forced her voice to sound as cold as she could. She turned around to see the man that she had once known as her father.
"Oh, but estranged daughter dearest," Kailen began anyway, "it would make this whole situation so much more interesting." He smiled his casually wicked smile as he stared down at her.
Calandra clutched the book tightly, assuring he wouldn’t be able to out power her and take it if he attempted to do so. She stared up at him suspiciously.
"What? A father can't help his daughter out of the goodness of his heart?"
"What? Suddenly I actually have a father?"
"You always have, I'm still around if you want a relationship." His grin was evil and anything but reassuring or comforting.
"Yeah, excuse me for thinking for some strange reason that your father was actually supposed to love you. I'm not sure where I got that idea from exactly." Calandra rolled her eyes to disguise the hurt that was building up inside of her.
Why she allowed herself to feed into Kailen's stupid, beautiful lies she would never fully understand. She should know by now that he was only going to pull the rug out from under her and leave her on the ground and in pain. Yet, for some reason, every time he handed out that tiny sliver of hope she took it. Which resulted in nothing more than watching herself crash and burn in the aftermath. Maybe one day she would learn her lesson and quit allowing him to ignite the spark that set her heart on fire every time, but obviously, today wasn't that day. Today she was, once again, fanning the flame instead in hopes that by some miracle, her father might actually care.
Kailen scoffed. "Put the book on the ground, I'm not going to take it. I'm trying to help you, maybe you should try showing some gratitude." Something about the softness in his eyes, which Calandra had never seen before, made her believe him.
There was that sliver peeking in again. Hook, line, and sink her...she was still biting as always. "Why would you help me discover anything about my past?" She knew that he had to be up to something, but she couldn’t figure out what. A tiny part of her wanted to believe that maybe, for once, he actually was trying to do the right thing. Maybe, just maybe, he was trying to actually be a father and do something to make her life easier.
"Making up for the wrong I've done in the past?" He shrugged nonchalantly.
Her heart jumped at the possibilities behind that statement. Making up for the wrong of the past; the hurt, the pain, the deceit. For not being the father that she had deserved, what would make up for that? Even if he was serious, was there anything that he could do that would ever take away all of the cruelty? Calandra tried as hard as she could, but she came up with nothing. There was no way to take it back, no way to heal the scars that had already been burned into her heart and soul. He was in too deep, and some wounds simply couldn’t be healed, even with the strongest of drugs and the best of surgeons. Time didn’t actually heal everything; some things were simply beyond healing. Some scars were burned into us for eternity, and the pain of him being anything but a father to her was one of those.
"Nice try." She rolled her eyes at him.
"Fine, I'll leave since I'm obviously not welcome."
"Is it really that obvious?"
"Try opening the book, place it on the ground, and use your power while you read it, you might be surprised what happens." Kailen walked away immediately once the words were out of his mouth.
Calandra watched him leave while pondering what his motives behind helping her could be. She was really going to have to learn to decipher that man if she was ever going to be able to accomplish her destiny. She looked at the diary in her hands again wondering if she should try Kailen's suggestion. Her head told her not to, but her heart whispered to her that she could trust her powers to not deceive her. She shrugged, assuming that no harm could really come from trying it. She laid the book on the ground and opened up to the first page. She took a deep breath of the fresh air surrounding her and checked to be sure no one else was sneaking up on her. When she felt confident that she was indeed alone, she closed her eyes and forced herself to concentrate. She felt the powers start to surge within her and she willed them to her, convincing them to do her will. She held her hand out over the book and pushed her power force down toward it. She opened her eyes when she heard the sound of horses’ hooves trampling. The book now had a small holographic image coming out of it. She leaned in to look closer at it.
The woman from the memory the book held was running through an older version of the town of Faerie. Echo's hair was long and dark, her eyes were a soft opaque pink, and tears were streaming from them. There was desperation in her voice as she called his name while she ran, her breathing unsteady.
"Jackson!" she called, and her tears increased with the word.
She ran straight through the town and into the woods, heading to the Field of Innocence, the same field that Calandra sat in now, only a much younger version. Echo started to slow just before she broke through to the field. Her breathing was heavy, and she looked utterly exhausted. Her voice was raspy as she quietly mumbled his name again.
He stood next to the tree with a scared look on his face. He was a tall man with auburn colored hair and freckles dusting his face. His eyes were green and distinctly human.
"Jackson, I caught you." Echo sounded relieved.
"The gate is closed," he said without emotion.
"Already?" She seemed surprised at this revelation.
He nodded. His eyes look disconnected, and he didn’t convey a single emotion. He looked like a zombie, as if he wasn't really fully there, his mind was somewhere else entirely.
"What did he do to you?" she asked with her voice barely above a whisper.
Jackson simply stared at her as if he didn’t understand the question. "The gate is closed," he repeated.
Silent tears fell from Echo's eyes. The pain and defeat was written clearly on her face. "Would you like to go through?" she asked him.
He nodded. The heartbreak was obvious as her eyebrows furrowed together in a failed attempt to prevent a breakdown. Her emotions drained completely, her face turned blank, and her limbs went limp.
"Go, I'll send you," she muttered.
He stood in front of the tree trunk inside of the small ring of pink, blue, and purple flowers. A glow of light came up from the ring and surrounded him. As soon as the lights came up, his face awakened. His eyes went wide as he, for the first time, truly noticed Echo standing on the other side of the ring.
"Echo!" he called and reached out for her.
She watched him disappear through the ring with no way to stop him, and she collapsed to her knees. The tears came audibly now and she placed both of her hands over her stomach as she wept.
The image disappeared at once. Calandra stared at the last few sentences written on the page that had just played out like a tiny movie in front of her.
And just like that, I watched my world disappear from my grasp with no way to stop it. My head was screaming his name over and over again, but no words came out. I was nothing more than a silent echo as my love and life disappeared through that cursed gate.
CHAPTER FIVE
No Angel
With the diary snuggly tucked back into her pants, Calandra walked through the town with her head clouded with deliberations. Various people nodded to greet her as she walked and she tried to politely respond to each of them. The words kept playing over and over in her head, I was nothing more than a silent echo as my love and life disappeared through that cursed gate.
Echo had fallen in love with a human; the wrong human, Calandra knew that much from the story Jarreth had told her. That relationship had become the reason that Faerie was in its current state. What Calandra couldn't put her finger on now was what had happened to Jackson before he left. He seemed so lost, and then he had recognized her and suddenly didn't want to go at the very last minute. There was a look of love in his eyes that tugged at her heart; it reminded her of the way that Tristan looked at her. Calandra's memory suddenly set off a mental light bulb.
