“Good morning, you two. Did you sleep okay?” Jessi asked, dropping more batter onto the hot appliance.
“Hi, Mommy,” Cara murmured as she sank onto a stool beside her brother. She yawned sleepily.
“I slept great, Mrs. Crenshaw, thanks. And something smells delicious,” Trevor added as he sat beside Cara.
“Good, I’m glad. I thought I’d do a homemade breakfast this morning. Maybe we can go to brunch tomorrow before you leave.” She eyed the three of them. “So, what plans do you have for the day? It looks like a perfect beach day. You can pack a lunch and take it up to Juno. It’s breezy, so there might be kite boarders today.”
Jessi noticed that Adam and Trevor both looked to Cara uneasily. Cara sat up straight. “Well, Mom,” she hesitated.
Suspicious, Jessi narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms and leaning back against the counter.
Cara cleared her throat and continued. “We wanted to talk about Dad’s stuff.”
“Dad’s stuff?”
Cara nodded. “His clothes and tools and things. You haven’t started doing anything with them yet?”
Jessi sighed. “No. I haven’t packed up Dad’s things.”
“That’s why we’re here. I figured you hadn’t done it yet. That’s what we’re going to do today.” Cara’s face, so precisely a mix of Graham’s and Jessi’s own, was determined.
Feeling panic rising, Jessi took a slow breath. “No. We’re not packing your dad’s things today. If that’s the only reason you came home this weekend, you’re going to be disappointed. I will pack up your father’s belongings when I’m ready to do it, and not a moment before.”
“Look, Mother,” Cara slid off the stool and came around the island toward Jessi. Her short auburn hair hinted at her stubbornness as her light blue eyes glinted sharply. “It’s been long enough. You have to let go. I read an article, and...”
“I don’t care what you read, you do not decide for me when to get rid of my husband’s belongings.” Jessi knew her voice was getting louder and she didn’t care. Adam and Trevor looked like they wanted to crawl into a hole.
“Denial! It’s called denial. Dad’s dead. And hanging onto his things won’t bring him back!”
Adam, ever the peacemaker, tried to intervene. “Maybe we should just drop it, Cara.”
“Shut up, Adam!” she snapped.
“It’s not denial, it’s a process. I’ll clean out his things when I’m ready. Don’t push me on this, Cara!”
Outside, his focus on the inner workings of the pool pump, Judd became aware of raised voices. Glancing up, he could see Jessi and her daughter squaring off in the kitchen. He gnawed his lower lip thoughtfully. It really wasn’t his business. But his position was to protect Jessi.
Even from her kids? He debated another moment before setting down the wrench in his hand and heading to the kitchen door.
“Someone has to, Mother. Someone has to help you when you can’t seem to help yourself.”
“Everything okay in here, Jessi?” Judd’s tone suggested quiet authority.
Cara whirled around. “And who in the hell is this?!” Dramatically, she flung her hand in Judd’s direction.
Judd started to answer. “I’m...”
“What the fuck makes you think you can come into my house and speak to my guests like that?!” Jessi shrieked.
The kitchen fell silent. Neither Adam nor Cara had ever heard their mother use profanity. Eyes wide and mouths open, they both stared at Jessi.
She took a calming breath and continued softly. “This is Judd. He’s a friend of your father’s, and he’s here today fixing the pool pump.” She met Judd’s eyes with a grateful look.
Adam recovered first. Proffering a hand, he introduced himself. “Hi, man. I’m Adam, that’s my sister, Cara, and this is Cara’s boyfriend, Trevor.”
Judd nodded to them all. “Nice to meet you.” He looked to Adam and Trevor. “Gentlemen, maybe you can help me out back while the ladies sort this out, what do you say?”
“Sure thing,” Trevor answered, glad to have an excuse to scuttle out of the line of fire.
The silence in the kitchen was deafening. Neither Jessi nor Cara had moved, and they stood, arms crossed, facing each other. Finally, Jessi spoke.
“Look, Cara...I’m trying to receive this in the spirit I’m sure you meant it to be. I know you care and you’re trying to help. But I’m not ready to go through all of your dad’s things. I’m just not.”
Cara tossed her head impatiently. “You’re not even aware of your level of denial.”
Jessi’s eyes flashed angrily. “Don’t talk to me like I’m some senile old woman. I’m forty-fucking-five! I run my own successful business!”
Cara flinched at her mother’s use of the F-bomb for the second time in as many minutes. “But Mom!
“No buts. This is my decision, not yours.” Jessi crossed the kitchen and sank onto a stool at the counter. “If there’s something in particular of your father’s that you’d like to have, just let me know. I’ll be sure to put it aside for you.”
“Mother...”
Jessi shook her head definitively. “That’s my final word on the matter.” She held her daughter’s gaze challengingly.
Finally, Cara looked away. “Okay. I didn’t mean to start a whole thing, I just thought...” She wrapped her arms around Jessi. “I’m sorry. I just miss him so much.”
Jessi felt the sting of unwanted tears. “I know you do, baby. I miss him, too.”
TWO HOURS LATER, THE pool pump restored to proper working condition, Judd carried his toolbox back to his pick-up parked on the street. Jessi followed along behind him.
He set the battered red box in the bed of the truck, and glanced back at the house. “How did it go?” His brown eyes were soft with concern.
Feeling more emotional than she wanted to, Jessi crossed her arms and shrugged. “Oh, you know, it was okay.” When she looked up at him, her eyes radiated pain.
“I’m so sorry, little one. And with your houseguests, I don’t guess we’ll get knee time in today.”
Jessi blinked back tears and swallowed hard, attempting to dislodge the lump in her throat.
“Could you use a hug, though?”
She blinked again as a tear ran down her face, and she nodded vigorously.
He smiled warmly. “Come here, then,” he said, opening his arms, pulling her close beneath his chin, and lightly kissing the top of her head. He could feel the shuddering of her silent sobs. “I’m proud of you, little one,” he murmured. “You were so strong today.”
“Really?” she squeaked, looking up at him through her damp lashes.
He nodded firmly. “Really. You stood up for yourself. I was just there as backup.”
Jessi chuckled at that. “Backup. That’s what I needed.”
“Then I’m glad I was there for you.”
“So am I.” Jessi stepped back and swiped at her face. “Thanks, Judd. For everything. Really.”
“It was my pleasure, Jessi.” Judd realized that he couldn’t have meant it more. “So, are we on for next week?”
Jessi nodded. “Next week for sure. Have a great week.”
Judd climbed into his truck and rolled down the windows. “You do the same. I’ll call to see how you’re doing. And little one...”
Jessi leaned into the passenger window.
“You’ve earned a cummie. One.” He held up a finger for emphasis. “Not forty-seven.”
Jessi laughed, feeling her face redden.
“But you have to report back to me afterwards.”
“One. Got it. Yes, Sir.” She stepped back and waved as Judd drove away.
JESSI MOVED THROUGH the rest of her Saturday, ignoring the awkwardness that had begun the day. In the afternoon, Cara ended up taking Trevor on a tour of her old haunts, including Juno Beach, where they watched kite boarders zip along the tops of the waves.
Adam accompanied Jessi to her office when she went to pick up some catalogs
, and he chatted with Sarah about his life in Orlando. Later on, he went out with some of his friends to hit a few downtown nightspots.
On their way back from the beach, Cara and Trevor stopped and brought home Chinese food from Uncle Joe’s. Dinner was around the kitchen island, and Jessi enjoyed the relaxed conversation, so different from the morning.
After watching a romantic comedy on cable, Cara hugged her mother goodnight as she and Trevor turned in for the night. Alone in her bedroom, Jessi thought back over the day. She’d had a feeling that Cara had had an ulterior motive in coming home for the weekend. She stood in front of Graham’s closet, unwilling to even open the door. Shrugging, she turned and went into the bathroom.
She was right about sorting through Graham’s belongings. She knew it. She’d wait until she was ready. It had only been three months.
Jessi stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. The image she saw looked tired, dark circles under listless eyes. She turned to the side, examining herself in profile. She’d probably lost weight, although she’d never step on a scale to find out.
Facing forward again, she reached up, twisting her long auburn hair into a topknot, and she turned her head this way and that. Forty-five. She didn’t look so bad, did she?
Do you suppose a man like Judd might be attracted...
Her eyes widened. Where did that thought come from? She had just been staring at her dead husband’s closet. How could she even think about...
A determined glint in her eye, she slowly removed her clothes, dropping item after item until she stood nude in the mirror. She used a tortoiseshell clip to fasten her hair up again and stood, hands on her waist, assessing what she saw. Her face was virtually unlined, only the slightest hint of laugh lines at the corners of her eyes. She traced the fingers of her right hand along her jawline. Fastidious application of sun block over the years had undoubtedly helped.
Nothing like creamy Irish skin to discourage a love of sunbathing, she considered.
Her gaze slid down from her face, skipping over her breasts to her stomach, which was amazingly flat.
Yeah, grief will do that to you. She snorted at the thought.
She skimmed further down to the V where her legs met. A light smattering of red pubic hair didn’t hide the cleft there. Judd had been insistent about her toenails. Would he think that she needed to wax, too?
Lightly, she smoothed her fingertips down her neck and hesitated briefly before bringing up her hands to cup her breasts. They’d increased over the years, from a B cup before Cara had been born, to the DDs they were now. They weren’t as high as they used to be, she noticed, hefting their weight in the mirror. She slid her hands to capture her rose-tipped nipples between her fingers, squeezing them and causing them to pebble tightly.
God, she wanted a man’s hands there. Judd’s hands. There was no sense in denying it. Not in the privacy of her bathroom, at least.
He’d given her permission for release. Once. He’d been very clear about it. She felt the need in her core.
Naked, she returned to Graham’s closet. As her Master, he’d been the keeper of their toys. Ignoring a flicker of guilt, she opened the door and pushed aside his suits and slacks. When they’d bought the house, Graham had kindly accepted the smaller of the two master closets; his was merely a rack of clothes behind a door. Jessi had been treated to the huge walk-in on the opposite wall.
But it was behind his things, on a shelf at the back, where he kept the ornate burlwood box that held their small assortment of dildos, vibrators, clamps, and other toys, and it had been Graham who had chosen what they’d use and when.
Jessi realized that part of her objection to Cara’s plan might have stemmed from the fear of her children discovering her stash of sex toys. She suppressed a smile at the picture of her daughter unearthing the box in front of her boyfriend.
It’s going to stay in my closet from now on, she thought, closing the door and placing the box on the bed. Lifting the hinged lid, she scanned the contents. The wand was always a good choice. But she craved penetration. Moving aside the wand, she selected the rabbit vibrator with its clear pink latex design. She closed the lid of the box, carried it to her closet where she placed it on a low shelf, and took the chosen vibrator into the bathroom.
Up to her neck in lavender-scented bubbles, Jessi sighed. The room was lit only by a handful of tea light candles she’d placed around the edges of the garden tub. She closed her eyes and recalled the feeling of being in Judd’s arms earlier in the day. He’d told her that he was proud of her, and that had pleased Jessi immensely.
And he’d given her permission to come. The impish sparkle in his eyes had held the promise of a skilled lover.
Her eyes popped open. Why had she thought that? Nevermind. Focus on the task at hand.
She leaned back once again, eyes closed, as she began to stroke and knead her breasts, pulling her nipples tightly, picturing lips suckling them, a tongue caressing them, as the heat built between her thighs. She slid one hand lower to stroke her needy sex, finding the sensitive nub erect with arousal. Rubbing intensely, she brought herself to the edge of orgasm, but slowed down. If she was only getting one, she was going to make it last.
Her hands retreated to her breasts again, then slowly traveled back down to her pussy, where she nearly rubbed herself to completion again. This time, she picked up the pink rabbit waiting on the edge of the tub and clicked it once. Lowering the vibrator to her clit, she gasped as her eyes rolled back with pleasure. Realizing she couldn’t hold out much longer, she slid the phallus to her sensitive entrance, pressing slowly into her core, all the while imagining Judd, holding himself over her, pushing his way into her needy space. The outer part of the dildo vibrated against her clit as she fucked herself.
“Oh, God,” she moaned softly, her moment building. “Oh, shit, holy...Judd!” Orgasm thundered over her as she gasped, her body shuddering with intense release. As her quaking subsided, she switched off the dildo, but left it in place as she floated back to earth.
DRESSED IN A SILKY eggplant chemise, Jessi padded back into the bedroom and slipped into bed. She stacked the pillows behind her against the headboard, intending to read the new erotic romance on her Kindle. But glancing at her phone on the bedside table, she remembered Judd’s charge: “Report back to me afterwards.”
The time on the clock blinked 12:09. Was it too late? If it was, he could just see it in the morning. The idea of reporting on her orgasm made her feel nervous. Maybe it was just better to get it over with.
She put down the Kindle and picked up her phone.
“SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK about Amanda?” Alex asked, shouting above the pounding music.
“She’s nice,” Judd replied noncommittally.
“I’ll say she’s nice. Nice and stacked. When the girls get back from the bathroom, do you want me and Trish to head out so you can work your Judd Farris magic?” Alex grinned gleefully.
“No, no need to do that. Let’s all hang out. Do you want to go someplace quieter?”
Alex laughed. “Young folks and their crazy rock and roll bothering you, old man?”
“No, it’s just...”
“Well, the fact that they didn’t ditch us while we were in the bathroom is a good sign,” Trish joked as she and Amanda returned from the ladies’ room.
“Where would I go, baby, you know I love you,” Alex cooed. “Come on, let’s show these two how it’s done.” He took Trish’s hand and twirled her once, before leading her out to the dancefloor.
Judd leaned closer to Amanda. “Would you like another beer?”
She nodded. “Yeah, that would be great.”
Judd stood, nodding toward the bar. “I’ll be right back.” Waiting to order at the bar, he looked back toward their table. Amanda was a friend of Trish’s from work, and somehow, Trish and Alex had decided that Judd should meet her.
She seemed nice, and she was pretty, with her blonde hair and blue eyes. She was a little shy, and Judd wond
ered if that was why she didn’t currently have a boyfriend. But he knew that he didn’t feel a connection with her, so it definitely wasn’t worth Alex and Trish leaving them to flounder on their own.
He returned to the table, two beers in hand, just as Alex and Trish left the dancefloor. “No beers for us, homie? Seriously?” Alex laughed, dropping off Trish and heading to the bar himself.
Amanda accepted her Corona and nodded. “Thanks!”
“You’re welcome.” Judd took a pull on his beer and felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He retrieved the device and swiped it on, checking the message. It was from Jessi. According to the clock on his phone, it was 12:10. Smiling reflexively, he opened the message.
Mission accomplished, Sir.
His grin broadened. Mission accomplished. Had she already had her allotted orgasm?
He looked up to see that Alex had returned and was watching him closely. “Good message?”
“Oh, yeah, it’s just...” Judd stood. “If you’ll excuse me for a minute. I’ll be right back.”
Dodging gyrating dancers and the crowd around the bar, Judd made his way to the sidewalk outside, where it was much quieter, despite the fact that he could still hear the deep pounding bass of the music inside the club. He opened Jessi’s message again and pressed the telephone icon.
“Hello?” she answered tentatively.
“Mission accomplished? That was fast,” he laughed.
“Shit! Well, oops, sorry, I just... Well, I didn’t think you’d call. Geez!”
“Two words do not a report make, little one. I need details.” He grinned, picturing her discomfort.
“Details? Seriously?”
“Um-hmm, starting with, where were you?”
“In the bathtub.”
“Were there bubbles?”
“Yes, there were bubbles. And candles, too.”
“Good, this is sounding good. And you touched yourself where?”
“You know where I touched myself,” she quipped huffily.
“Humor me, little one.”
She sighed loudly. “I started with my breasts and moved to my pussy.”
“Okay, did you use a tool?” Judd realized that he was becoming immensely aroused.
For Sparrow (The Dream Dominant Collection Book 3) Page 8
