by Nikki Ash
When I told Bella that I’m scared to go back to fighting, I wasn’t kidding. The very thing I love just about killed me, pretty much killed my best friend, and almost cost me the woman I love and my daughter. When I envisioned making it in the UFC, this was not how I envisioned my life, and if I have to choose one or the other, I’m going to choose Bella and Micaela. I’m not going to talk to her dad about fighting. I’m not going back to fighting. What I am going to talk to him about is something else, though.
I pull up in the driveway and go to type the code in like I’ve done for half my life but stop myself and press the button. It buzzes letting me drive through and when I get to the front of the house Cooper is standing outside waiting for me.
“Let’s go for a walk.” He nods back down his driveway. We walk for probably a half a mile before he starts talking.
“I’ve known my daughter was in love with you since she was ten years old.” I do the math and that would have made me sixteen. Our age difference now isn’t a big deal but nothing would have happened back then. Before I can respond, he continues. “Not like two adults love each other. But still love. She came home from the gym one day. You had ignored her to practice fighting with some friends. She was upset and crying. She didn’t understand the age difference. I don’t think she ever has. You’ve always just been you to her. I held her on the couch and tried to explain you were older and it will happen more because you need to fight people your age. But you know Bella, stubborn as a bull. She shook her head and said she would just learn to fight harder, better, so you would want to train with her. I knew in that moment, she would do anything for you. I watched her grow up but she never dated. She fought. She fought hard, and every time I saw her struggle and overcome obstacles, I remembered our conversation. I wasn’t surprised when she said she wanted to move to California.”
“We weren’t even on speaking terms.”
“It didn’t matter. She always gravitated toward you. Tristan might have been by her side, but you were in her heart. I think it was your strength. Tristan is easy-going, but Bella needs someone to push her and encourage her. And you did. Until you hurt her.”
Cooper stops walking and turns to me. “You hurt her, Marco. You used your strength and you made her doubt herself, as a woman, as a soon-to-be mom. Whatever you said to her, she always took like it was gold, and I get that you were high for some of it, but I saw when things started changing. It was long before then.”
“She was young. I thought I was doing the right thing pushing her away. I could have handled it differently, though. I know that now.”
“And how are you going to handle things now?”
“She wants to trust me but she’s scared. I’m taking it slow. Trying to earn back her trust.”
“Do you see a long-term future with Bella?” Cooper locks eyes with me and I see all the love he has for his daughter. He would do anything to protect her.
“I do. I want to spend my life with her. Marry her. Create a family and a life with her. But there’s something you should know. I don’t want to fight anymore.”
“Cooper looks at me incredulously. “Aren’t you committed to a fight in a few months?”
“Yeah, but I’m going to announce that win or lose, I’m out.”
“Because you’re hurt?”
“Because fighting caused too many people too much pain. Logan is in a coma. I turned to drugs. I almost missed out on being a part of Bella and Micaela’s life. My back is ok, but that’s because I’m not fighting all the time. Can it handle one more fight? Yeah. But not years of it. And I’m not willing to take the chance. My back injury led me to drugs. It’s not worth it to me.”
“How are you going to provide for my daughter and yours?” Cooper crosses his arms over his chest in a defensive stance.
“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. While Bella is going to school and fighting, because we both know she will be fighting for at least the next ten years, I was thinking about staying home with Micaela.”
“Pulling a Bentley?” He raises one brow.
I chuckle. “Kind of. I was thinking I could help you run the gym. Help with the training, the MMA classes.”
“You want to be a part of my family business?”
“I want to be a part of your family.”
“Are you asking my permission to marry my daughter?”
“No, I’m not.”
Cooper’s head tilts in a what the fuck way. “I’m not ready to ask your permission to marry her. Not yet. But once I’ve earned her trust and deserve to marry her, I’ll be back to ask.”
“You’re a good man, Marco. You just need to find your way and you will. You have an amazing support system so lean on us when you need to. Take care of my daughter and granddaughter, Marco, and don’t fucking run again. We are here for you. Let us be here for you. As far as the gym goes, focus on this fight coming up, and once the fight is over, we will figure it all out.”
I reach my hand out to shake his. “Thank you.”
We get back to the house and I see Bella’s vehicle parked behind mine. She must have gotten to her parents’ house while her dad and I were talking. I don’t even make it through the doorway and she is flinging herself into my arms. Her arms and legs wrap around my body and if I wasn’t standing in her parents’ foyer I would be throwing her ass onto the bed.
“I love you,” she whispers into my mouth, our lips mere millimeters from touching. The conviction of her words just about brings me to my knees. I have no idea what I ever did to deserve this woman but I am going to live the rest of my life making sure she never regrets saying those words to me.
“I read all of your letters.” Her eyes shine brightly and she gives me a watery smile. I bring my lips to hers but our kiss is nothing more than a tease. A promise of something more to come later.
A throat clears, reminding us we aren’t alone. I reluctantly set Bella back down on her feet and that’s when I notice it’s not just her parents who are here. My parents, my sisters, as well as Kayla and Bentley are all staring at us. And just as I’m about to close the door behind me, in walks Ashley, Kaden and their daughters. The only people missing are Tristan and Mason. Liz is holding Micaela but as soon as she sees me, she starts screeching, her arms reaching out for me. I grab her from Liz and give her a kiss on her cheek. Nothing feels better than having Micaela in my arms and Bella by my side.
Dinner is ready so we all grab a seat outside—while it’s still cool enough to eat out here—and dig in. Liz went healthy for Bella since she’s training and grilled up some chicken and pork chops. There’s salad, sweet potatoes, and tons of fruit and vegetables. It’s all delicious.
“Can I sit with you?” Ryan, Bentley and Kayla’s adopted son asks me. He became a part of their family about two years ago when his mom committed suicide and his dad got busted with drugs. When he moved in, he had selective mutism, meaning he could talk but wouldn’t. During our Christmas vacation to Breckinridge, Ryan and I bonded. No idea why but he trusted me and spoke to me. Since then, we have weekly video chats. Except for when I was high and didn’t give a shit about anyone around me. The first time we video chatted once I was clean, Ryan asked me where I was for so long, and it broke my heart.
Since Bella and I moved back here, I have brought Micaela over to visit with Bentley and Ryan on several occasions. The kid holds a special place in my heart. He reminds me a lot of myself when I was little, only he was fortunate enough to be given a better home at an earlier age.
“Of course, you can.” I pick him up and swing him over the bench to sit next to me as Kayla brings over his plate of food and juice box.
“So, I’m thinking of joining a mom’s group,” Bella announces. Bella…in a mom’s group? I hold back my laughter. She barely has any girlfriends because she can’t handle the drama and cattiness that goes along with befriending most women.
“Mom’s groups are the damned devil!” Bentley points out seriously. Kayla and Liz l
augh.
“That’s only because they all wanted themselves some Daddy-Bentley,” Liz jokes through her laughter. “Bella, I think if you want to join a mom’s group, that’s great. But are you doing it to meet other moms or to socialize with Micaela?”
“I don’t know. I feel like it’s something I’m supposed to do.” She shrugs. Bella has always been confident in herself but being a mom is new to her and she questions herself a lot. “And I need to find out about daycare for Micaela. I thought maybe other moms would have ideas or know of good places.”
“Why would you put her in daycare?” Liz asks.
“I go back to school in less than three months.”
“You have an entire group of people who can help you. You don’t need a mom’s group to help you figure out childcare for your daughter.”
“You guys are all done raising babies. And I don’t think any of us were even in daycare.” She says the last word softly, like she’s embarrassed her baby would have to be put in daycare. Doesn’t she realize what an amazing mom she is? To even think about stuff like that, to make sure her baby is taken care of.
“Tristan was,” Ashley points out. “There are a lot of nice childcare places in the area.”
“She’s not going to daycare, Belles. So, it doesn’t even matter.” I stab a piece of chicken with my fork and throw it into my mouth. I’ve got nothing against daycare. Shit, for kids with parents like my biological mom, it’s probably better than their home life, but there’s no reason for our daughter to go to daycare. Not when I have fought for the last eight years and saved my money, and have the means to be home with her.
“I want to finish school, Marco. And I want to fight.”
“And you will do both, if that’s what you want. I’ll be staying home with her.”
“Because you’re scared to fight! I’m not letting you give up because you have linked every bad thing that’s happened to you fighting.”
“Maybe we should all go inside and give them space to talk.” My mom stands up.
“No need.” I stop her. “You all should hear this because in some way you all have been affected. Kaden and Ashley, my drug addiction is why your son was going to raise my daughter. You thought you were going to be grandparents and then she was ripped from you.”
Ashley gives me a small smile. “We are just glad it all worked out. We aren’t going to judge you.”
“Maybe not, but I’m going to judge me. I pushed away my parents, Bella, almost didn’t get to raise my daughter. Logan is in a goddamned coma from us celebrating.”
“Marco.” Bella puts her hand on my arm to comfort me.
“No, it’s the truth. I’m well aware the fighting isn’t to blame but I was injured in that accident and when I thought I lost fighting for good, I lost it. I turned into someone I never want to be again. I’m going to fight to defend my title but then I’m retiring. Fighting was my life for so long but it’s not where I see my future anymore. My future is making sure I’m healthy and clean for my family.”
“Who’s training you?” Kaden asks.
“I haven’t made it that far yet. But I committed to the fight and it’s going to be a huge event. The money they are willing to pay me if I win is too much to pass up. I’m contracted for one more fight so I’m going to give it to them. Plus, it will help gain viewers for Bella’s first fight.”
“I’ll train you.”
I glance at Kaden, shocked as shit. “After what I did to your son? Why?”
“Like Ashley said, we aren’t going to judge you. Tristan knew he wasn’t the dad. He made his choices and he’s dealing with the fallout the best he can. With Mason moving to California to live with Tristan, I have time. If you are only going to fight one last time, you need to make that shit count.”
“All right. Thanks.”
“And Marco and I talked,” Cooper adds. “After the fight is over, he’s going to start taking on some fighters himself. Helping at the gym. We will figure out a schedule around your class schedule.”
“And I have already hired someone to start learning the ropes of the accounting department at the rec center so I can be home more with Cooper and the kids. She just graduated with her accounting degree and so far, she seems to be a good fit. I would love to watch my granddaughter.”
“Hell yeah, and I’m home with Ryan. We would love to hang out with Micaela,” Bentley adds.
“And I can watch her if you need me to,” Bella’s brother points out.
Liz gets up and walks over to Bella. “There is nothing wrong with daycare, Bella, and if you had to put Micaela in daycare, we would find one that works for you and Micaela, and it wouldn’t make you any less of a mother. But when you have family that can help, that’s what we do. We help each other. When it was just you and me, we had Kayla. But had she not have been there, you would have been in daycare because I would have done whatever I needed to make sure you were taken care of and fed.”
Bella’s eyes fill with tears. “Thank you, guys. I don’t even know what to say. I love you all so much.”
“Good! Now let’s eat!” Bentley shoves some food into his mouth to make his point.
Thirty
Bella
With both of us training for the upcoming fight, Marco and I have been busy. My mom is helping with Micaela, which has been truly a godsend. I’m still sleeping in my own bed and we haven’t been intimate anymore, either. According to Marco, the best way of taking things slow and proving himself is to also take a step back from being sexual. I brought up the subject once and he said he wants to have my trust, and for me to be sure of us before we are together again, sexually.
That doesn’t mean we never kiss or touch. We do. We hang out on the couch almost every night talking about our day. We’re finding our friendship again and it feels good. It feels like we have started fresh. It’s how I imagine a new relationship would go. Slowly learning about each other intimately before taking the next step, sexually. I know it sounds stupid because we have already been together, but I appreciate Marco recognizing we need to connect and get to know each other on a deeper level. It’s easy to have sex with someone. It’s a lot harder to connect with them on an emotional level. I’m glad we have taken a step back and are trying to do this the right way.
I have signed up for my fall classes, which start in a couple months. After my fall semester, I will have two more semesters of classes left and then will be able to graduate. I’m on the couch with my laptop, uploading some new pictures of Micaela when Marco sticks his phone in my face.
“Let’s go away.”
I look at the photo on his phone. “Isn’t that in California? Like as in where we just moved from?”
“Yes, but I want you to meet my cousin, Mathias, and I would also like to visit Logan. You never got to meet him. We can fly out for the weekend, just the two of us.”
“You mean leave Micaela?” I gasp.
“Belles, she’s five months old. Your parents can watch her for the weekend. We’ll have fun. I’ll rent us a hotel near Mathias.”
The thought of being a plane ride away from my daughter is terrifying but it would be nice to get away with Marco, maybe discuss taking the next step with us. Marco has been proving himself and I am ready to go all in.
“Ok.”
Four days later we are on a plane to San Diego. Being this close to Tristan and not seeing him makes me sad, but like he asked of me, I have given him his space.
“What’s wrong, Belles?” Marco takes my hand in his, entwining our fingers. He brings our joined hands up to his lips and gives my knuckles soft kisses.
I almost consider lying to him, but instead go with the truth. “I just wish Tristan was talking to me. The idea of going to San Diego and not seeing him makes me sad.”
Marco lifts the seat divider and pulls me into his side, placing a chaste kiss on my cheek. “He just needs time. If your friendship is as strong as I think it is, he’ll come around.”
“I’m going
to need you to keep me busy this weekend.” When I replay how that sounded I feel my cheeks warm up.
“Oh, baby,” Marco murmurs into my ear, placing a kiss to my earlobe then biting down and lightly pulling. “I will gladly keep you busy all weekend.”
We get to the hotel and it’s late so Marco tells me we will visit Mathias and Logan tomorrow. We are on the first floor with an ocean view and as soon as we drop our luggage down, I open the sliding glass door to feel the breeze.
“Let’s go sit on the beach,” Marco suggests.
Grabbing a blanket from the linen closet and changing into comfortable clothes, we make our way down and find a secluded spot to sit. The sun has already gone down and the beach around us looks abandoned. Marco drops himself on top of the blanket and pulls me down after. My back is pressed up against his front and I am snuggled in between his muscular thighs.
Dusting my hair to the side, Marco kisses down my neck then places several kisses on my shoulder. “I never imagined in a million years we would get to a place in our lives where I could take you away and sit on the beach, kissing you and it be ok. It’s like a dream come true.”
“Who said it’s ok? Did I give you permission to touch my body?” Marco stiffens but when I start to giggle, he relaxes.
“Don’t fuck with me, Belles. This body is mine.” He growls into my ear, nipping at my lobe. Turning quickly, before he can react, I pounce on him, his back hitting the ground, my legs falling on either side of him. I grab a hold of his hands with both of mine and pin them down like I would do in the octagon.
“Yours, huh?” Taking both of his huge hands into one of mine, I use my other hand to pull up his shirt, exposing his perfectly chiseled abs. Leaning forward, I place open-mouthed kisses down Marco’s torso. My arms are too short, so my hand slips from his as I work downwards but he leaves his hands up over his head like I’m still holding him down.
