Is that what we’re afraid of happening? Is that what we’re really fighting? I am afraid of it. It made sense. It flushed her soul, which told her how right she was about it. In the end, she knew the direction they now had to go. We are going to have to let him go. We have to tell him the entire truth. We have to let him make his own choices no matter what may happen. We have to. We just have to be strong for him and each other. She decided right then. She knew what she was going to have to do. She was going to tell him everything. She was going to let him know and let it begin as it was meant to be.
When she felt ready to do so, she knocked.
No one answered her. This was usual some times. Casey was more like his father than either of them would ever care to admit it. They were both stubborn beyond rational thought. They were both vocal, and yet quiet at the same time. They were also both very reserved.
She knocked again, and yet again, the room stayed quiet. She didn’t like this, so this time she opened the door.
His bed was empty. The room carried a slight breeze.
She followed it to the back of the room and saw instantly that the window in the back wall was slid up and open. Casey was not in the room.
Oh Casey…what have you done? She knew what happened. She knew why. He must have left after coming up there. Again, he was more like his father than he would ever admit it.
Now what do I do? She closed her eyes, trying to find the answer, but saw and felt only nothing. She tried to focus on to her husband’s mind and again she saw nothing there. He must be blocking me too. Her mind still felt hazed over and it made it hard for her to think. With this being the case, she opened her eyes again. Without her gifts, she knew only one person who could go out and find him, and that was Jimmy. He could track him down with relative ease. Or so she hoped, but that was easier said than done.
What do I tell him? Will he agree with me on this? She knew how he would react to this. She knew how angry he was going to be, but she also knew that she didn’t have the choice anymore. Her son was hurting. They all were. They had to find him, and besides, she had another idea pop inside her head right along with it. Maybe it would do them both some good if they were forced to talk to each other without me. This thought made her feel warm inside. She took it as a good sign that she was right. Again, she didn’t have the choice.
I will have to go out and find him. He wouldn’t bring his cellphone with him. He wouldn’t, so she had to head out instead. At least it would give her the time to prepare for what she was going to tell him. She had to play this right.
She left the room and made her way back down the stairs.
I’m just going to tell him that he has to go and find his son. He’s going to have to talk to him about all of this. He’s got to understand him. They have got to understand each other.
She headed straight to the front door.
He just doesn’t have the choice. He has to listen. They both do.
She didn’t look back, as she moved down the driveway and climbed behind the wheel of her small coup.
If he doesn’t start now, he is going to lose him. He will hate his father forever and his father will hate himself for doing it.
She started the engine and backed out on to the street.
I just hope he chooses to do the right thing. I can’t lose both of them. I’ll be damned if I let that happen. She drove down the street and headed out of town.
It would take a few minutes for her to get to the clearing, so she took her time. She knew where he was.
I just hope I know him. I just hope I’m right, because one way or the other, we are doing this. We have to. I won’t have it any other way. No one will ever mess with a woman protecting her family.
6
I can feel a haze over my mind. I can feel a blackness coming over me. It must be him. He must be close. He must be more powerful than she ever was. She felt it was time to go, so she grabbed her keys and jacket. She left the living room, and headed to the door.
I hope he is, because it can give me what I now know the world needs. He may just be what the world has always deserved.
She closed the door after stepping outside. She headed down the driveway and to the sidewalk. She headed down the street. She knew where she was going. She had seen it all.
The girl had the gift, but she lacked the true power of what her body gives. If he carries it within him too and within his mind, it will be a glorious day.
She was almost there. It didn’t take long at all.
I will know this soon enough.
He is almost here. The truth is coming and let it begin.
7
He walked, moving as slowly as he could. It gave him the time to think. He thought about Casey and everything Rachel told him, or tried to anyway, and let it fill his mind. He thought about what his son wanted to do. He tried to understand him. He did, but it was so hard. He thought about his needs, but every time he did, he thought back to his adopted mother stopping him on the road.
“Where are you going son?”
He had tried to keep going, but the sounds of her voice made him stop. He couldn’t help it. Her voice was always powerful to him. It controlled him in so many ways that he didn’t understand. It always did. Even now, it always would.
“I cannot take his wrath anymore mother. I cannot take his hatred of me.”
He had just stormed out of their house as he did after every fight he had with his father. His father wanted him to become a farmer. He wanted him to stay where they were, hunkered down and someday raise a family as they did with him. But he couldn’t take it. The world called to him. As it turned out, the wolf wanted to flee. It wanted to hunt. It wanted to come out. He just didn’t know it at the time. If he did, things might have been different. He might have been.
And it did, didn’t it?
“Your father does not hate you Kalima. He is just anxious for you to make a life. He wants so much more for you. He wants you to be able to support your own family someday. He wants you to settle down. You cannot do that; support a family of your own without knowing how to feed them. What would you do for them? How would you live without it?”
She always knew what to say to him, all the while standing up for her husband. She had such a gift to stand up to both of them, and with them, at the same time.
“What if I do not wish for that? That is his life, not mine.”
“You do not agree with that.”
She was also always right.
“I cannot see my life just sitting here and doing nothing. I have to do something else or I feel like I am going to die.”
She obviously didn’t expect him to say this. She also didn’t expect to hear his pain.
“When have you started feeling like this?”
“It is something that I cannot explain.” This was true. He didn’t know how to say it. He didn’t know how to describe it. He just felt it.
She just wouldn’t let it go. “You can tell me anything Kalima. You are my son, and all I care about is you. I am here for you, for always and forever.”
He had trouble telling her the truth. He just didn’t know then. “For a while now I have been feeling this need. I have felt the need to run from here. I have felt the need to just go and leave everything before it is too late.”
Again, she just wouldn’t let it go. He knew that she loved him, and just couldn’t bring herself to do it. “Why? Why do you want to run?”
“I do not know. I am feeling lost. I feel trapped. I feel completely caged.” There was more of course. He just couldn’t tell her all of it. In some ways, he wished he had. So much might have changed. So many more may have lived.
After that, everything changed. The wolves came. His wolf followed them.
He found the trees. He left the paved road, Jumper Street, just on the edge of the city limits and headed into the trees. From there, from this spot, all homes ceased and the thickness of the Allegany Mountains continued south. His place—the place he found
when he first came to Darlington—wasn’t far now. Knowing that, he kept his walk slow. He kept thinking too.
I cannot allow him to go out on his own. I cannot allow him to show the world who he is. He kept moving. He kept walking slowly around the trees. The sun was already setting to his left, and it made the shades of those trees feel stronger, as strong as the deepest night. I have to stay firm. But, as before, there was more to it than that.
He did regret what happened all of those days ago. He regretted that he didn’t listen to his father, and just lived the life that he should have lived. If he had stayed there, if he had just accepted his words and not fought him, everything might have been different.
The wolves came to me.
They did. They found him that day. They found him and that was what changed. With all of his anger for Casey’s wishes, he had completely forgotten that key part.
They found me. There was nothing that I could have done. They started this. I just played along. They made me play the game they wanted me to play.
Then, why was he angry? Why did Casey make him feel so mad?
He is a lot like you; you know that, he heard his Rachel’s voice. It came so strongly that he almost thought she called him inside his mind, but he knew that she didn’t. It didn’t sound like her given voice, only his interpretation of the sound of it.
He is his father’s son.
He is. He nodded, almost stepped in to a tree; he caught himself at the last minute, so he only sideswiped it as he passed by it. In fact, he never even paused with his steps.
So what am I afraid of then? He had to ask himself, as he moved towards the clearing. He could see it just up ahead. His place of solitude—his special place to let out the wolf was only a few steps away. Just seeing it, he felt better. He always did.
As for the question, well it made him stop in his tracks. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure anymore. If the only reason he had, if the only reason that he was keeping his son so close to him was because of his desire to protect him, what was he doing it for. This was the question that he had to answer. He had to find it. Sima…it is what happened to Sima that haunts my dreams. It came to him all by itself.
They came for her when they discovered her. They tried to use her to get to me. He thought about Devish. He thought about the Wanderers. He thought about what the humans did to her. It all caused a shiver to flow down his spine. I can’t go through that pain again. I can’t take it again. I won’t. He was right of course. When it came to her, he always felt he was. The wolf must have agreed, because he now felt his eyes move at that back part of his mind. They were not as strong as he had felt them before, but they were there. They did look back at his own eyes. He saw them, and blinked. I will never let them harm him. I will never let them take him away from me as they did with her. Just the thought alone made the anger for everything he felt return again too.
He is just going to have to accept my wishes. He is going to have to accept me. He looked at the clearing and made his way to it, and stopped in the center of it. He then looked around it and back to the trees. He took a deep breath and smelled the wind.
The air had turned cool. It tasted just as crisp. No one was anywhere near him. He knew he was alone.
He saw Sima’s face. Why did you not tell him about her? Now this crossed his mind. Again, he didn’t know why.
In all of Casey’s young life, he had never told him about the sister he had. He didn’t consciously hide her from him, but at the same time, he must have done it without knowing he was. She just never came up, and now, he felt angry for that too.
Maybe I should tell him about the sister that he never knew he had. Maybe I should tell him about what they did to her. Maybe he will understand the reasons why I am trying so hard to keep him safe. If he only knew, he may stop this. The anger in his belly suddenly stopped. Again, the wolf obviously agreed without having to say a word. It calmed him instantly. I have to do it. He must know the full truth.
Satisfied with what he had to do, he removed his shirt. He then undid the buttons on his jeans. He reached in to the waistband of both of them and his underwear, and pulled them down to his ankles. He exposed himself to the night. Now completely naked, he looked back up to the sky. The moon showed down through the trees. It was just a slice. The full moon wouldn’t come for at least another week.
It’s not full. He pondered idly, and it suddenly dawned on him that he hadn’t seen a full moon in a few months, and this struck him hard. And he knew why. I haven’t changed on the full moon in months. This felt more than just odd, it felt almost terrifying to him. It had never happened before. The wolf always forces the change on the full moon, so why have I not changed during the last one? He didn’t know. He hadn’t thought about it until now, so he looked back to the eyes. He saw their yellow sheen and grabbed them with his mind. He pulled them forward but then suddenly stopped. He heard her voice.
“Jimmy?”
She came from behind him. He heard her call him again.
“Jimmy?”
“I’m here.” He turned back the way he came, back towards the road.
She joined him in the clearing.
“I didn’t think I would find you this quickly.” She stepped to him. “I thought you would already be miles from here.” She subtly gave him a bewitching smirk.
He felt her heavy breaths. He felt her heart pounding inside her chest. She must have run to find him.
It made him feel more confused than ever. “What’s wrong?” It had to be something. She never came after him when he went out to change. It wasn’t in her nature. She respected the wolf, as she did with him. She gave him the solitude that it so desperately desired and required.
She bowed her head.
He didn’t need to see anything more. “What did he do now?” He thought he already knew.
She met his eyes. “He left the house after your fight.” She rushed her arms over her chest and hugged herself within her own warmth. Fall nights were cool this deep in to the trees.
He felt suddenly ashamed. “He snuck out didn’t he?” It explained her look. She was obviously ashamed too.
She didn’t agree as she saw his thoughts. She lost hers just as she realized that she could.
He didn’t see the realization in her eyes. Only what Casey did was on his. “I am going to give that kid a piece of my mind when I find him.” He quickly pulled his pants back up. He grabbed his shirt from his feet and pulled it back on.
She gathered herself. Hearing him was enough for her to do it. “He’s just upset that he can’t spread his wings Jimmy. He’s acting out against us like any teenager ever would to their parents.”
He couldn’t agree with that at all. “He’s only six—almost seven.”
She huffed with that. “You know what I mean Jimmy. You did the same thing with your parents I’m sure.”
He shuddered with that. “I don’t care. I am going to go find him and set this right, once and for all.” He scoffed off, and headed back to the trees.
She followed him closely, feeling his anger, feeling the need to protect her son, and her husband too. She moved fast.
“You have to calm down before you do find him Jimmy. You are not going to get him to understand anything you say if you go at him screaming.”
He stomped. He pushed. He plowed through the trees.
“Jimmy?” She reached him just as they got back to the road. Her car sat there quietly just where she left it. She grabbed his arm and pulled him to stop. “Will you stop for a damned minute?” She let her eyes flare to their Wanderer’s blue shine. She felt his body, and so she grabbed on to him with everything she had.
He did stop. His legs froze and his body locked. Unlocking his gifts to hers after they were married, allowed her to do it. Otherwise, she would have grabbed nothing but air. She wouldn’t have felt him at all.
“What? Why are you so determined to protect him? Why won’t you let me help him?” He felt his feet freeze. He felt every bo
ne in his body fixed. It felt weird. His mind no longer controlled his own body. She was stronger than any Wanderer he had ever known.
She released her grip.
He stayed there after he felt everything again. He just stared her down.
She relaxed. “I am not stopping you from any such thing. I just know how much the two of you are alike Jimmy. You are both stubborn. You are both set in your ways, and I know that you did the same things when you were his age. I also know that if you keep pushing him like this you will only crush him. You are only pushing him further away from us. You are destroying any chance you have of keeping him safe.” There she said what she had always needed to say. If she had known she had to freeze him first to say it, she would have done it a long time ago.
He calmed down. He heard her. She was right. He just didn’t like it.
“What am I supposed to do Rachel? Huh? I lost Sima because I let something cloud my judgment. I let them take her. I let it happen. I can’t do it again.” A tear erupted down his face. It was soon joined by a second one and then a third. He started crying before he knew he was.
She saw his tears, and had some of her own flush her cheeks.
Seeing hers, he cried harder. He hated seeing her cry.
It didn’t help both of them. She cried too.
“I know what happened back then, but this is different Jimmy. He is different.” She had to say something. Right then, she didn’t know if she was right or not. She just didn’t care.
He felt himself beginning to break down. Every fear he had crashed in to him with it. He just couldn’t help himself. He just felt like he was about to explode.
“They took her from me. Devish, the humans, even Kenar and Rochie tried so hard to get to me through her. She died because I let them. She suffered because I let her go.”
She breathed hard with this. Feeling his pain, seeing his thoughts, just as clearly almost as if they were her very own feelings, she now saw his fears. She felt his pain. They made her understand everything. She now also understood why he tried to hide this from her. He protected her from the pain. He tried to protect her from having to feel it too. She didn’t blame him for doing this, but she also knew what her son needed too. They had to find a way to make this work. The pain was too great for both of them that she no longer had the choice. Instead of placating his fears, she decided to try a different approach. She had to do something.
The Puppets and the Strings (A Werewolf's Saga Book 7) Page 4
