He heard movement; like someone running. They were going to find her. They were going to find her and get her out and she wouldn’t be dead. He should’ve just finished her off, smashed her fucking head in. He slashed at some branches with the shovel.
All this time and he thought he’d been wrong about Jenny. Thought she was fine, that his imagination had got the better of him. That maybe he’d just wished he’d done it. But he was wrong. He had killed her. He’d known it was her as soon as DS Freeman showed him the picture of the trackie top. He remembered his fists pounding at her face, the blood spattering onto the grubby nylon. But how she’d ended up out in the woods? That was something he hadn’t been able to get his head around. Not for a while. And then it’d clicked. Emma’s things were on the body. They didn’t get there by mistake. She was setting him up. And for a while there he thought she’d really grown a pair. That she’d finished what he’d started. But instead she just cleaned up his mess. Maybe Ben really was right about guardian angels.
He could hear voices somewhere behind him, snapping him back to reality. He needed to get out. He started moving faster. He thought he could see a light ahead but he’d lost his sense of direction. He had no idea if he was heading back to the road. He could be walking straight into a trap.
Lucas pushed aside the foliage and after a few more minutes found himself looking at the road he’d stopped on. He could see flashing lights. He crouched down and crab-walked to the fence, trying to see how many of them were out there. To the left he could see his car parked at the side of the road, maybe a hundred yards away. There was one cop car to the right, another just behind it, much closer to him than his own car. He’d never get to it.
His fist curled around the handle of the shovel. He couldn’t see anyone else around. Maybe they were all in the woods. He looked behind him. He couldn’t see any lights coming towards him. It was now or never.
He edged along the line of the fence, keeping his eye on the officer standing by the road. When he was directly behind him, he stood. A twig cracked beneath his foot and the officer turned.
‘Hey,’ he said and came towards Lucas. Lucas’s arm shot out, the shovel cracked the officer’s head and he staggered back. Lucas jumped over the fence and stood over the cop. He raised the shovel again and brought it down; the sound seemed to echo along the empty road. The cop fell back, blood pooled around his head. Lucas stood over him for a second, watching the cop’s eyes flicker. Then he turned and ran for the car.
As he approached it he heard movement coming from the woods. He turned and saw someone climbing the fence, a woman. For a second he thought it was her, back from the dead, and he tripped. He picked himself up and ran for the car. He could hear the woman shouting.
Fucking Freeman.
He could see headlights reflecting on his car, another vehicle coming towards them. Another cop car? He climbed in and saw Freeman coming at him in the mirror. Lucas tried to start his car but the car behind didn’t stop. Instead it sped up and Lucas felt the blow as it careened into his rear bumper, forcing him forward. His head cracked the windscreen and he was spinning.
He could see a familiar face in the other car – Emma’s boyfriend. He could see Freeman coming towards him. He could see blue lights flashing. And then as he span one last time he saw Emma being carried out of the woods and he knew it was over.
She’d got away from him again.
Chapter 96
17 December 2010
Gardner wasn’t sure who to visit first. Adam was being treated for whiplash. He hadn’t needed to speed up to hit Lucas’s car, just nudging him would’ve given Freeman enough time to get to him but Gardner suspected he hadn’t been thinking about helping Freeman anyway. The doctor had also patched up Adam’s other cuts and bruises and had said nothing when he’d explained they were from an earlier incident.
Emma was being treated for concussion, and several cuts and bruises of varying severity. Fortunately the blow to the head hadn’t appeared to do any lasting damage. He wasn’t sure the same could be said about the experience as a whole.
Ben was still on the ward and Freeman had been to inform him that they’d found Emma and she was okay. She’d agreed to wait to take his statement. The doctor had offered to clean up the scratches on Freeman’s face from the low-hanging branches in the wood, but she’d refused.
Lucas was in A&E but unfortunately he’d live. He hadn’t said anything so far but then the doctors had given him some strong painkillers. He doubted any confession given by Lucas under the influence of the drugs would be admissible.
The officer who’d been clobbered by Lucas was also being treated, but according to his wife was going to be okay and seemed pleased to finally have a real story to tell.
Only Gardner hadn’t been seen by a doctor and though his back was killing him from carrying Emma through the woods, he wasn’t going to mention it lest anyone thought he was feeling sorry for himself.
He watched Freeman walk up the corridor towards him. She looked exhausted and as soon as she reached him she slumped into one of the chairs he was pacing in front of.
‘They’re keeping Adam in,’ she said. ‘He doesn’t have anywhere to go and his car’s knackered so they’re giving him the B&B treatment.’
‘What about Emma?’ Gardner asked.
Freeman shook her head. ‘The doctor’s still in there. I haven’t spoken to her yet.’
‘Lucas is doped up. No chance of getting him to talk tonight.’
‘What’re you going to do?’ Freeman asked.
‘Wait here, I guess,’ Gardner said and sat down in the chair beside her. ‘Has Adam seen Emma yet?’
‘I think they let him in briefly to convince him she’s okay. But they haven’t had the big reunion yet.’ She paused. ‘You think they’ll stick together after what’s happened?’
Gardner shrugged. ‘He came after her, didn’t he?’
Freeman closed her eyes.
‘How about you? Are you all right?’ he asked.
She opened one eye. ‘I’m fine. Although I am pregnant. So . . .’ Gardner nodded but kept his mouth shut. ‘But you already knew that,’ she said.
‘I took a wild guess after your vomiting interlude.’ He paused, knowing it was both irrelevant and none of his business. ‘You think you should get checked over?’
‘No point,’ she said, staring straight ahead.
They sat in silence for a while and Gardner thought she’d dropped off, but as a porter wheeled a bed past them she stirred.
‘What did McIlroy tell you about me?’ he asked eventually.
‘Not much,’ Freeman said. He could tell she was lying. ‘Whatever happened, happened. McIlroy reckons you’re an arsehole but that’s like the pot calling the kettle an arsehole. Plus McIlroy’s the dumb-arse who let Lucas get hold of his badge, so he’s hardly worth listening to about anything.’ Freeman finally looked Gardner in the eye. ‘Anyway, you seem all right to me.’
Gardner smiled. They sat in silence again. Part of him wanted her to press him. Part of him needed to let it out. Maybe she’d understand. Maybe she’d pardon him.
She didn’t speak.
Gardner let out a breath and started telling her his story, staring straight ahead. For something that’d cast a shadow over the last eleven years of his life, it was a pretty quick story to tell.
‘I guess some people thought Wallace deserved to be sent down for what he did. A few didn’t. But even those who thought I was right to shop him, I think they questioned my motives. Would I have done it if it had been someone else?’
‘And would you?’ Freeman asked, speaking for the first time.
Gardner shook his head and turned around to face her. ‘I don’t know. That’s the million dollar question,’ he said. ‘I’ve seen other people, other coppers, doing stuff they shouldn’t – we all have – and I turned a blind eye. But that was petty stuff. And maybe that makes me a hypocrite.’ He shook his head again. ‘I never wanted anyone to ge
t hurt, not like that.’
‘But that wasn’t your fault. He made his own bed. He didn’t have to kick the shit out of that kid. He didn’t have to top himself. He made his own decisions. You shouldn’t feel sorry for him.’
‘I don’t,’ Gardner said. ‘I don’t even feel sorry for myself. Well, not really. I didn’t care about leaving Blyth.’
‘Who would?’ Freeman said.
‘It meant I didn’t have to see Annie any more; I didn’t have to see the arseholes like McIlroy. I got to start again. But it was her that I felt sorry for. Wallace had a daughter, Heather. She was twelve years old when he killed himself. And she’s the only reason I wish I could change what happened. As much as I believe I did the right thing when I told the truth about Wallace, if I could change it now, I would. Just so that kid could have her dad back.’
‘You think she blames you?’ Freeman asked.
‘Probably.’
‘You should go and see her.’
‘No.’ Gardner shook his head. ‘I’ve thought about it, but I doubt it’d do either of us any good.’
‘You never know,’ she said as his phone started ringing.
‘Excuse me. Gardner,’ he answered.
He listened to Harrington ramble on for almost a minute before hanging up. He could hear his colleagues shouting and laughing in the background at Lawton’s party. The party he should’ve been at. ‘Shit,’ he said and sat back down.
‘Problem?’ Freeman asked.
‘It’s nothing,’ he said. ‘There was just somewhere I was meant to be tonight.’
Freeman raised an eyebrow. ‘Somewhere with young PC Lawton, I presume. Are you and her—’
‘No,’ Gardner said before she went any further. ‘It’s her birthday. The whole team was going out. I said I’d be there.’
‘Well that’s you in bother, then,’ Freeman said. ‘I think she likes you. She got all mother-bear protective when I was loitering by your desk.’
Gardner squirmed in his seat and wished he hadn’t mentioned anything. Fortunately Freeman dropped it and stood up, stretching.
‘Well, I think I might see if Emma’s ready to talk. Coming?’
Gardner nodded.
‘Oh, and about Blyth,’ she said. ‘You shouldn’t let it get to you so much. It was a mistake. It’s in the past. Everyone has skeletons.’
Chapter 97
18 December 2010
Gardner and Freeman sat opposite Lucas and waited for him to start talking. They’d heard Emma’s story, now they wanted his. Most of his injuries were superficial. He had quite the nasty bruise across his forehead where he’d hit the windscreen, but all it had done was make him less attractive to the ladies. Freeman didn’t think it was possible to do any more damage to his brain than he already had. And despite the broken arm and dislocated shoulder, the hospital had released him into their custody. The nursing staff were probably as sick of him as the detectives were. They’d been there for an hour already and he’d said nothing useful. He hadn’t denied any of the charges. Attempted murder, kidnapping, assault, theft. Anything that’d happened in the last couple of days he just shrugged at. They had enough evidence to convict him on each one of those charges, something he knew as well as they did. So maybe it didn’t matter what he said about Jenny Taylor. They had enough to put him away for a very long time.
But she wanted to know and she knew Gardner did too. It was her case and she wanted to close it, wanted to solve it, to find out what had really happened to Jenny Taylor. They had part of the story from Ben and Emma, although their versions differed slightly. Emma claimed it had all been her idea but Ben was saying it was his and that Emma was long gone on a bus by the time he moved the body. Freeman knew they were just trying to protect each other; she would keep working on them. But they still didn’t have all the pieces. Emma claimed Lucas had confessed to killing Jenny while they were in the woods, but he wasn’t saying anything now.
‘So why did you kill her, Lucas?’ Freeman asked again and Lucas just stared at her. ‘We know it was you. Emma told us what you said. I just want to know why.’
Freeman watched as Lucas dug his fingernails into his skin. She wondered why he was so bothered about being caught out on Jenny’s murder when he knew he was going down for the rest.
‘I didn’t kill her,’ Lucas said. ‘Show me some proof I killed her. They were trying to set me up. They put her ID on Jenny’s body. They buried her. Looks to me like they killed her.’
‘Post-mortem indicated that whoever killed Jenny was left-handed. You’re left-handed, aren’t you, Lucas?’
Lucas shrugged. ‘So are a lot of people.’
‘Also, the results came back on Jenny’s tracksuit top. There were traces of semen on it. Your semen.’
Lucas’s eyes narrowed. Trying to work out if she was bluffing. ‘So what?’ he said. ‘We fucked. Doesn’t mean I killed her.’
Freeman stared at him until he looked away. She knew he was lying but he was also right. Nothing she had proved absolutely that he’d killed Jenny. She stood up to leave. They were getting nowhere. He wasn’t going to tell them anything.
‘Tell Emma she lost,’ he said as they went to walk out.
‘No, I don’t think she did,’ Freeman said, leaning over him. Getting in his face. ‘Emma’s fine. You’re in here. You lost, Lucas.’
Chapter 98
19 December 2010
Adam followed Emma’s instructions and drove through the estate. She’d been relatively quiet the whole way but her chatter had declined even further the closer they got to Blyth. After they’d visited Ben in hospital to say goodbye and promised to keep in touch with him, she’d asked if he’d take her home. At first he thought she meant to Middlesbrough, back to the house they shared. But she meant to Blyth, to see her dad. Detective Freeman had assured her that he’d want to see her, but Emma was scared he’d be angry with her. She’d abandoned him eleven years ago, why should he just open his arms to her now? But she knew it was something she had to do, another step in becoming Emma Thorley again.
Emma. He was going to have to get used to calling her that. Every time he opened his mouth ‘Louise’ came out and he had to correct himself. He wondered how long it’d take to get used to it. Whether she’d even stick around long enough for it to happen.
‘Here,’ she said and pointed at a house with an overgrown garden. Adam stopped the car outside and they sat watching the house in silence. Adam looked at Emma and he felt as scared as she looked. What was going to happen when she went into that house? Emma was afraid of how her dad would react but he was afraid of what would happen afterwards. They hadn’t talked about it yet. Once she became Emma again, then what? Did she still want to be with him? Would she want to come back here to be with her dad? She’d already called it home.
He knew she was scared about what might happen to her and Ben. She’d been crying as she left Ben at the hospital. Apparently he’d been telling the truth when he said it was just him who’d buried Jenny. He’d put Emma on a bus and gone back to the house alone. Adam had to admit he’d felt relieved when he’d heard that. It was enough dealing with her being someone else. He didn’t think he could cope with the thought of her digging graves too. Ben had told the police Emma hadn’t been involved and no matter how much she argued, Ben was determined to take the blame. He wanted Emma to move on. To finally find the happiness she’d been looking for. Whereas he seemed to be needing the punishment, to finally be at peace with what he’d done. Though he felt sorry for Ben, Adam hoped that Emma would accept his plan. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing her again.
Whether she was Louise or Emma, it didn’t matter to him. He loved her. He put his hand on hers and she turned to him. ‘I just want you to know that whatever happens, I’m going to be there for you,’ he said and Emma frowned. ‘I don’t want to lose you and I don’t care what happened in the past. I love you. I don’t want this to be over.’
Emma smiled at him. ‘Neither do I,’
she said and leaned over to kiss him. ‘I thought you’d want out.’
‘Never,’ he said.
‘But all the lies I told you. I got you hurt,’ she said, brushing her fingers across his face.
‘I don’t care,’ he said. ‘I want to be with you, whoever you are.’
She smiled again and looked back at the house. ‘Will you come in with me?’ she asked and he nodded.
They knocked on the door and Emma squeezed his hand as they waited. The door opened and her dad stood there and looked at Adam first before shifting his eyes to Emma. She smiled at him. ‘Hello, Dad,’ she said and he grinned at her, throwing his arms around her.
‘Come in, come in,’ he said and let them past. ‘I was just about to have some tea. You should’ve used your key, pet.’ He closed the door. ‘So this must be your new fella, then,’ he said and reached for Adam’s hand. ‘I hope you’re taking care of my girl.’
‘I’m trying,’ Adam told him, and her dad threw his arms around Emma again.
‘I’ve missed you, Em.’
Emma hung on to her dad and Adam smiled at her. ‘I’ll get the tea,’ said Ray and shuffled into the kitchen. Adam took her hand. A tear rolled down Emma’s face as her dad talked to her about the weather.
She was going to be okay. Some things are meant to be forgiven.
Chapter 99
23 December 2010
Gardner parked the car and sat watching the station. He’d only been there a week before but it felt like the past was staring down at him. He didn’t know why he’d come back again. He’d been thinking about what Freeman had said and managed to convince himself that she was right. But now he was having second thoughts. Maybe third thoughts. He should’ve stayed at home.
Gardner watched people come in and out of the station, none of whom he recognised. He wondered how many people he knew were still in there, how many he would have to face when he walked in. Of course McIlroy was still there, though God only knew how. He hadn’t been any good at his job back then, and he seriously doubted the tubby bastard had got any better over the years.
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