by A. C. Wilson
“It might thaw me out.” Garrett nodded and moved toward the chairs at the kitchen table. He pulled it out and folded his tall frame into the seat. His eyes met the coffee cup on the table. He knew it well. It was his father’s.
“Do you want any creamer?” Lacey asked, pulling two heavy mugs out of the cupboard beside the sink.
“No. Sugar is fine.” Garrett brought his eyes back to the abandoned mug on the table. “Do you want me to put this mug in the sink?” He couldn’t look at his mother. He could only study the mug sitting there at the table as if his father had only left it this morning. The thing is his father never left his mug out.
“Silly, isn’t it?”
“What’s silly?”
“That I have left it sitting there for almost two weeks. He left it out that morning and I can’t bring myself to put it away.” Her voice was cracking. His throat suddenly squeezed tightly. It matched the way his heart felt.
Garrett shook his head. “I don’t think that’s silly at all.”
“Every time I look at it, I can’t believe he has missed two weeks with us. I miss his voice. I miss the way he filled up a room just by being in it.” Lacey leaned up against the counter like suddenly she was being crushed by her burdens. “I miss him. I do, Garrett. I miss him so damn much that I can hardly breathe sometimes.” His mother’s tears gutted him. Garrett pushed back from the table and crossed to her side. He wasn’t good with emotion. He always felt so awkward and lacking, but when he held his mother in his arms, he knew he was right where he was meant to be. He wished he could protect her from this.
“Dad’s a fighter. He will be back.”
Lacey sobbed into his shoulder as he ran his palm in circles on her back as she did when he was a child. She seemed so fragile, so unlike the woman he knew her to be--a rancher’s wife, a confident mother, and an unfailingly supportive person.
She startled when the house phone rang. Shaking her head, she ignored it. No doubt it was probably neighbors looking for information on his dad. The loss of Travis Johnson would leave a gaping hole if it were to happen. He was well respected and highly regarded as a community member. The house phone stopped ringing and then it was his mother phone buzzing on the counter. She hadn’t taken it off vibrate. Garrett reached for it when his mother made no move.
“It’s the hospital.”
Suddenly Lacey jerked it from his hands and pressed the button. She answered and her face slowly drained. Garrett’s gut twisted more and he felt ill. He dreaded what was being said over the line. Lacey nodded and hung up.
“We have to go to the hospital. Your dad is waking up.” She seemed shocked for a moment, unable to move in any direction. Garrett moved back toward the door.
“I’ll drive you. You can call everyone else to meet us there.” He jammed his still cold feet into his boots and soon found that he was being left behind. Lacey was sprinting out the door ahead of him.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“They are waiting for you.” Rip’s voice penetrated the dark, foggy interior of his brain. Travis felt strange—tired, uneasy, and almost as if he were fighting to the surface bogged down by lead weights. Rip had been true to his word. He hadn’t left him to flounder in the shadows.
“I don’t know that I can do it.” Travis hated to admit that weakness to anyone, least of all his very best friend who had been dead for over thirty years. It seemed like a small task to complete when Rip was holding back the ever present threat of surrendering. Forever.
“You got to keep fighting. I won’t let you cross this line. You do and I promise that I’ll never speak to you again.”
“I’m so tired.”
“Damn it! You owe me, Trav!” Rip’s voice was angry, seething with bitterness. His words caught Travis fully.
“How do you figure that?”
“You owe me the chance to live vicariously through you. I wanted a wife, kids, and a ranch. I wanted to know the touch of a grandchild and the sweet sunsets holding a softly wrinkled hand. I want to know that you did everything you ever wanted before you come back.”
The mournful words hung in his brain. The darkness made them seem so close that Travis might have said them. He knew he hadn’t though. Travis knew his heart was breaking or was it Rip’s? They might be one being now sharing the same soul.
“I wanted that for you too.” Travis could feel the bubbling warmth of tears. His throat felt oddly tight.
“You have to be the strongest, bravest man I know. You just got to keep going.” Rip was quiet as the affection settled over Travis. The stillness caused his heart to quicken and for the first time in a few days he felt panic.
“Please don’t leave me. Rip? Rip!” The emptiness spread to his gut until it felt like it might fall out. Something touched his hand or at least he thought something did. The slightest tingle registered in his brain and it brought his awareness closer to the surface. For the first time since Rip had come to him, Travis wanted to stay. He wanted to talk again with that sorry cowboy.
“Rip.” More tears, more salty warmth welling in his eyes and another tingle from his hand. Those things---the real things felt like a dream. When had the two planes reversed? What was he going to do?
“Get your sorry ass to the surface. Go!” Rip’s distraught and angry voice echoed in his head. Travis felt something stretching and lifting. He knew Rip was right. It was now or never. He felt it. Travis couldn’t bear to say goodbye one more time. Even if he hadn’t been there when Rip died to say it, Travis had been saying goodbye most of his life.
The surface was coming into focus. It was blurry, but that could be the tears in his eyes. It faded in and out before coming back into focus again.
“I will be with you.” Rip’s words echoed in his head and slithered quickly to take root in his heart. Something touched his hand again and this time Travis grasped as tightly as he could. It was enough to pull him completely out of the darkness. The tethers and weight fell away until his family came into view.
“Travis! Oh my love!” Lacey’s voice was music to his ears even though his head was spinning. Someone dimmed the lights in the room and he was grateful.
“Hey Dad!” The collective voices of his children warmed him and caused the tears to continue in earnest. Swallowing hard, he looked down at his hand and his heart swelled. He was gripping Nora’s fingers and she was leaning from the chair she had pulled up next to the bed. Her blue eyes were clear but her lashes were damp.
“How’s my baby girl?” His voice was hoarse and his throat hurt. He swallowed hard to get past the sawdust feeling.
“I’m okay, Daddy.” Nora’s voice cracked, but she squeezed his hand again.
“It is so good to see you, Dad.”
Travis smiled at the words and looked to the other side. Blake was standing there with Bailey cuddled close.
“It is good to see you too, Blake.”
Travis looked around the bed and noticed everyone was there. Matt was holding Harper, Andy carried Regan, Drew was standing next to Randy and Lacey had her hand on Nora’s shoulder. Garrett and Rayne stood behind Blake. Everyone was there. Sadly his stomach clenched as if he had expected to see Rip standing there too. It was tough to differentiate what was real and what wasn’t.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Johnson. I am pleased that you could join us.” An older man in a white lab coat leaned over to check his pupils. “I’m Dr. Baldwin.”
“Hi Doc.” Travis closed his eyes for a second to try and shake the little beam of light now obstructing his view.
“You gave us quite a scare. You’ve been here for two weeks.” Dr. Baldwin scribbled on his clipboard. Travis was sleepy and his head was starting to pound.
“Two weeks?”
Had it been that long? Apparently.
“What is the last thing you remember?” Dr. Baldwin was calling the shots, but every person there listened eagerly. It was something like being under a microscope’s glass slide.
“I…uh…coffee.” It was
the first thing that came to mind. Travis struggled to make the images clear, but they were all jumbled. Dr. Baldwin looked to Lacey as if for confirmation. Her blue eyes were worried, but she nodded.
“Good. Very Good. Anything else?” Dr. Baldwin tipped his balding head and the room got so quiet. It was really putting Travis on the spot.
“Classical music.”
“Whoa.” Andy’s voice was in awe and Nora started to chuckle. Travis was stunned as he looked from one daughter to another.
“It was too quiet in here.” Nora smiled at Rayne. Garrett put his arm around Rayne and kissed her cheek. Dr. Baldwin nodded his head and scribbled more in his papers.
“All right, I think we should clear out so that you can rest. We won’t tire you out now that you are back with us.” Dr. Baldwin turned to the collective group and made shooing gestures toward the door.
“I’d rather someone stay. Just until I fall asleep.” Travis shared a pointed look with the physician.
“Only one.” Dr. Baldwin made sure the rest of the family scooted. Lacey stayed behind. She hadn’t moved from her position behind Nora’s chair. It was an odd feeling. Almost like the air was charged with every word they wanted to say to each other and not knowing where to start.
“Do you want anything? Some water maybe.” Lacey kicked into mother mode and Travis saw what it masked. She was always the emotional one. Her instincts weren’t always reasonable, but they were comforting and settling.
“Maybe a little water.” His voice was still scratchy and his throat ached. It had been some days without use. That was a bit of a shock. Two weeks? He had been totally out of it for two weeks. Lost time was never something he accepted easily. Idleness didn’t have a place on the ranch.
Lacey moved around the bed to the small bedside table and picked up the plastic mug-like cup. He heard the tinkle of ice inside. She moved the straw toward his mouth and watched him attach his lips. He couldn’t take his eyes off hers. They widened with what seemed like hunger. As tired as he was Travis felt the pull too. No doubt he had worried her to death and he had no way of actually knowing that.
“Are you all right?” Travis asked as she set the cup down once he had finished. Even just the small effort it took to drink had made him feel exhausted. Lacey pressed her lips together in a thin line and her brow furrowed. His wife looked so tired and if he were so bold, she looked older than she was.
“That’s just like you to worry about me when you are the one in the hospital bed.” Lacey’s snippy demeanor poorly masked her turmoil. He knew her better than he knew himself. She was his other half in every way. Travis held out his hand to her.
“It saves me from talking about myself.” Travis tried to lighten the words as if he were joking. She sniffed and lowered her head. Her fingers finally threaded through his own.
“You sure took your own sweet time. I have been sitting here for days waiting for you to wake up.”
That was why she looked exhausted. The dark circles making her eyes seem hollow and her temper as sharp as ever. He squeezed her hand hoping to convince her that he wasn’t going anywhere just yet. Maybe ever if Rip had his way.
Rip. Travis wondered if Lacey would believe it.
“So what did I miss?” Travis asked, ignoring the elephant in the room. It was big and it was scary. He could wait to tackle it until he had more strength.
Normally it wasn’t possible for him to fall asleep while his wife was talking to him. A none too subtle jab to the ribs or a thump upside his head had taught Travis that whatever Lacey had to say was important enough to listen. Part of the long winded conversation had him wondering how he had gotten so lucky as to have snagged the heart and dedication of this beautiful woman. He loved the way her cobalt blue eyes twinkled with humor and wanted to be those dark wisps of hair that touched her cheek only to be swept behind her ear. He hated that he had caused her so much worry and it was difficult to see what a weight that had been for her. He had always been the anchor, the glue that kept things together. Now he saw his wife in a whole new light. Lacey Allyn Johnson was strong and capable of weathering the storms for this family.
After a while of watching her from the comfort of his pillow, Travis must have dozed off. The next time he woke was just after midnight. The hospital was quiet except for the hushed tones of the nurses in the hallway. He couldn’t help but feel a sort of panic thinking that he had been left completely alone. Of course he knew that it was irrational and that no one is every truly alone. The rationality did nothing to destroy the feeling though. Tilting his head to the other side, Travis felt his heart squeeze and then swell. Lacey was asleep in the chair across from his bed. He wrinkled his nose. It looked horribly uncomfortable and her neck was cocked to the side. Her muscles would be painful and stiff in the morning.
Taking a deep breath, Travis let it out. His mind wandered back to Rip as he kept watch over his sleeping sweetheart. Rip had been his best friend until he was tragically taken and then Lacey had filled the spot. They had clung to each other—Travis more so than Lacey. He loved that his wife knew how lost he had been and hell, she had even threatened to leave him. Funny how a person can make those decisions when the equivalent of a loaded gun was held to their head. Losing Lacey would have destroyed him completely and she had known that. Sometimes it takes all or nothing to set the course of a person’s life.
Yawning, Travis pulled his blanket up closer to his neck. His eyes drooped as he kept watch over his wife. Soon he would be out of this bed and back in her arms. He was determined to live whatever time he had left to the fullest. Somewhere between waking and sleep, Travis thought that he felt someone clap him on the shoulder in encouragement and he smiled.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
The morning light was pouring into the hospital bedroom and it seemed to illuminate the white walls making them glow. Travis squinted his eyes that were only just coming back from their unplanned hiatus. Running a hand over his face, Travis groaned. He was sure he looked a sight considering the two week growth of facial hair underneath his fingers. He wasn’t a man given to not shaving for days on end. Besides that he felt grubby beneath the paper thin gown he wore. He didn’t really want to think about any more of that.
“Good morning.”
The familiar male voice brought a smile to his face even as he squinted toward the chair Lacey had been asleep in last night. Garrett sat there with his boots propped up on the end of the bed.
“Would you mind closing a couple of those blinds?”
“Sure.” Garrett unfolded himself and got up to pull the strings on the blinds. It darkened considerably and it allowed Travis to open his eyes up though they felt grainy and sore.
“Much better, thank you.”
He smiled as Garrett resumed his seat minus using the hospital bed as a foot rest. His son watched him in silence for a minute before returning his father’s smile.
“You look better today.”
“Oh really? How can you tell? This bushman thing working for me?” Travis indicated the scruffy beard. Garrett chuckled and shrugged.
“Your sense of humor is still in place. That’s a plus.”
“If you find me a razor and can haul my butt into a shower, I’d be a sight more chipper.”
Travis couldn’t help the grin that just wouldn’t go away. He had missed this. He would have missed it more if he hadn’t returned. The thought wore on his good mood. His frown must have alerted Garrett to his change.
“None of us doubted that you’d come back. Johnson men don’t give up that easily.” His son’s voice soothed the frayed nerves and what he said was true. Although he felt somewhat the coward for thinking that he wanted to stay with Rip.
“No we don’t.” Travis was thinking about what Lacey had told him last night about Garrett and Rayne. He was proud that his son had found something to hold onto and in the process was unwilling to let it go. The personality trait could be a curse as well as a gift. The trick was knowing when to throw in
the towel.
“Do you remember us talking about Rayne the day you were injured?” Garrett looked at him as if he were waiting for a bomb to explode. Everyone was worried about what the coma had done to his brain or the injury that caused the coma. If he were honest, he was too.
“It is a bit fuzzy. Want to refresh my memory?”
Garrett lowered his gaze and visibly looked shaken. It wasn’t what his son wanted to hear.
“We were talking about how hard Rayne and I had been trying for a baby. You said to just love her and let God take care of the rest.”
Travis nodded encouragingly. “Everything happens for a reason.”
The words seemed to shift the weight off Garrett’s shoulders. It felt right to say those words, but he was still fuzzy on the details of that day. The flashbacks were clipped and rattled.
“I’m afraid she is going to leave if we can’t figure this out.” There was the fear that was hanging over Garrett’s head. Suddenly Travis could see the vulnerability of the small boy still looking for approval and guidance. It was a road Travis was intimate with over the years of raising three children. He slipped into the role easily.
“It sounds like your relationship needs rekindling.”
“Rekindling? As in starting over?” Garrett sighed.
“No, not starting over. Think of it as reinforcing the feelings you have for each other. Every relationship should go through rekindling at least once in their lifetime.”
Garrett looked thoughtfully at the tiled floor while Travis hosted flashbacks of his own marriage and relationship with Lacey. The seconds ticked by on the clock.
“What if it doesn’t work?”
The problem was grimmer than at first it appeared. If Garrett felt the strained tether so acutely, then it was in peril.
“If you can’t strengthen your love for each other, then it was never meant to be rekindled.” Travis hated the look of shock and anger that spread across Garrett’s face. “I’m sorry. You do have to consider what might happen if you and Rayne are not meant to be together for a lifetime.”
