by W. S. Greer
Another smile tugs at my mouth, but I fight it off. As I struggle to think of a subtle response, I see Jason emerge from behind the curtain. The stripper goes one way, and Jason comes speeding towards us, his eyes wide like he just got the surprise of a lifetime.
“Holy shit, you’re never gonna guess what I just heard!” he exclaims as he sits down.
“No, we’re not gonna guess, which is why you should just tell us what’s up,” Jordan replies. He finishes off his drink and sets it on the table.
“So, Dazzle just told me some shit that’s gonna blow your minds!” Jason says. He’s fidgeting in his chair like he’s about to pee himself.
“Dazzle?” I interrupt.
“Oh, that was the stripper’s name. She gives a great fucking lap dance, by the way. You missed out on that one, Austin.”
“Dude, get to it already,” Jordan barks
“Oh, right. So, I may or may not have asked Dazzle what she was doing after she got off tonight, and she may or may not have told me she doesn’t hook up with guys she meets at work. Then, she went on to tell me that if I was interested in something a little extra, I could go downstairs. She said all the girls downstairs are available.”
Jordan and I glance at each other, and then look back at Jason.
“Available?” is all Jordan manages to say.
“You mean, like, available?”
“What the hell is wrong with y’all?” Jason snaps, frowning at both of us. “Yes, when I say available, I mean available. Now, get the hell up so we can go see what this is about.”
Jordan and I hesitate for a second, but then I decide to go along with it.
“Alright, Jason, I’ll go because you want to, but I’m not getting into anything crazy,” I say as we stand up.
We follow Jason towards a curtain that looks the same as the ones on the booths, which leads to stairs, and as we descend, the lights get a little lower with each step. When we reach the bottom, the room looks just like the one upstairs. Two stages, two poles being worked by two naked girls. The only difference is this room doesn’t have tables at all. There’s nothing but booths. We decide to bypass the bar and go over to a booth to sit down.
As soon as we sit, a completely nude woman holding an empty tray approaches us and asks what drinks we want. When we try to tell her we still have drinks leftover from upstairs, she tells us we have to order drinks since we’re downstairs now. We have to have a drink at all times.
“Well damn,” Jason says. “I guess I’ll have another Crown and Coke.”
Jordan and I repeat our drinks from upstairs also, and the naked waitress brings them over to us in no time at all.
There aren’t a lot of people in the room, but there’s a few booths that have people in them. There’s a couple of wealthy-looking guys sitting in the booth opposite us, and there’s two women sitting with them. The women are both good looking, which seems to be the norm in here, but when I look closer, I see one of them literally has her hands in the pants of the guy she’s next to. I look up at the guy, and he’s sitting there like nothing’s happening at all.
“Dude, what the fuck goes on down here?” I hear myself say. Jason keeps his eyes stuck on something across the room, but Jordan looks over at me. “Bro, check out the shit happening in the booth across from us.”
Jordan looks and I see his eyes bulge.
“Holy shit. Right out in the open, too,” he says. “So that’s what available means. I don’t know about this shit, man. Michelle would flip out if she knew I was in a place like this. This shit is a little too much.”
“I feel you, man,” I reply. “We’re gonna give this place ten minutes, then we’re out of here. Either back upstairs, or better yet, to a place that doesn’t have prostitutes working in the basement. Hurry up and finish your drink, Jason, so we can get the fuck out of here. This place is crazy.”
Jason doesn’t respond. He just sits there, staring out in front of him like he’s trying to solve a math problem in his head.
“Jason, did you hear me?” I ask, tapping his leg. “Hurry up, so we can go. Stop drooling.”
“Austin,” he says. His facial expression has changed now. He looks like he just saw a ghost.
“What?” I reply, my frustration building.
“Austin, I think we’ve got a problem, man,” he says. “Bro, who is that over there in that booth? The one on the other side of the stage. Back corner.”
I have to lean over so I can see around the stage, but once my line of sight is clear, I can see there’s a booth with two people in it—a man and a woman. The man is dressed in business attire just like Jason and Jordan. The woman is only wearing a black bra and black panties. She has long brown hair and her skin has a beautiful tint to it. She’s not wearing any jewelry except a silver charm bracelet on her right wrist. Her face is flawless, even though she looks like she’s having the worst day of her life. She’s the most beautiful woman in this fucking place, and it tears my heart into tiny little pieces when I realize it’s Layla. My Layla.
“Wait . . . what?” is all I can say when it hits me.
“Dude, is that her?” Jason asks, but he already knows.
“Oh my fucking god!” Jordan says when he catches on. “Austin, what the fuck?”
This doesn’t make any fucking sense!
“Whoah, this is not a bar. She is not fucking bartending, man,” Jason says, pointing out the painfully obvious.
My brain is scrambled. All I can think of is questions. What do I say? What do I do? How do I move? Do I stay here? Do I confront her? Can I just fall on the floor and die right here, right now? What the fuck is going on?
So many questions all at once, and not even one answer. I feel like I just fell off a cliff and now I’m dropping, but there’s no ground below me. It’s just an infinite fall that’s sure to last the rest of my life. I’m falling and it’s never going to stop.
I can’t grasp a thought out of the million floating around in my head, so I just sit there and look at her. She looks miserable as the man sits next to her talking her ear off. I can’t even tell if she’s listening or not, because she’s staring off into space, barely blinking.
Still, I can’t help how my heart feels. I know she works here. Not just here at Red Pony Gentlemen’s Club, but in the basement of Red Pony Gentlemen’s Club. I look back over at the booth across from us, and the woman still has her hands in the guy’s pants, but now he has his hands in her panties too. They’re just sitting there going to town on each other right here in front of us, and they don’t give a fuck. I can’t believe Layla is one of these girls who are available.
My eyes naturally shift back over to Layla. She’s still sitting there, unmoving, but the man next to her is getting anxious. He scoots closer to her, and I feel my blood starting to boil. I watch as he puts his hand on her leg and rub her knee. She sits there, looking completely uncomfortable for just a second, but then she slaps his hand away. The man in the suit looks stunned and pissed off. He stares at her as she says something to him that I can’t hear, and I watch her get up and walk away. The pain I feel suddenly starts to morph into pride. She’s walking away from him. Is it because she’s thinking about me? Is she coming to her senses for me? But that all comes crashing down around me in the blink of an eye.
Layla leaves the man in the booth all alone, and she walks over to another booth—the biggest booth in the place—and she sits down next to a bald guy who’s already sitting with three other half-naked girls. He has a thick beard that I immediately recognize. It’s Damien. She just sat next to Damien. Her fucking ex-boyfriend, Damien.
I can’t watch anything else. It feels like Mike Tyson is in my chest using my heart as a punching bag, and all I can think is to get the fuck out of here. So, I stand up and I start towards the stairs. Jason and Jordan get up right behind me, too confused to say anything to me.
As I reach the stairs, I hear the sound of Layla’s voice.
“Austin?” she says, her voice
filled with fear and anxiety. “Oh my god. Austin, wait!”
I hear her, but I don’t give a fuck. I don’t even turn around as I reach the steps and take them two at a time. I’m done. I’m fucking finished—and I can’t believe it.
Layla
“Austin?” I yell, unsure if I’m trying to get his attention or if I’m asking myself if it’s really him. When I realize it really is him, my heart bursts into a panic and I lose all control of my emotions. “Oh my god. Austin, wait!”
His pace doesn’t slow down even a little bit as he makes his way to the stairs and climbs them two at a time. Jordan follows him, but Jason stops for a second, not to say anything, but to shake his head in disappointment. Then, he turns around and stomps up the stairs too.
“God dammit! Austin, wait, please!” I get up and start running for the stairs, but I feel a tug on my arm that stops me.
“Hey, what the hell is the matter with you?” Damien says when I turn around. He’s towering over me, his frame as wide as a house. “Where do you think you’re going, Layla? You’re here, you’re on the clock, and we have customers who are watching your little temper tantrum. So, get your shit together.”
I look around the room and see everyone is staring at me. The girls in the room all have the same expression on their faces. They look scared for me. They want me to conform to whatever Damien says because they hate watching him make an example of someone. I know they just want me to be careful so I don’t get hurt. But, this is different, and I’m too emotional to care.
Damien turns around and starts to walk back over to the booth, but I stop him.
“No!” I scream at the top of my lungs, so loud my throat hurts afterwards. Damien turns around and he looks pissed. Too late to go back now.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?” he snaps, tilting his head.
“Layla, don’t,” I hear one of the girls say under her breath, but I ignore her.
“I said no,” I continue. My heart is pounding and I already feel tears starting to form. It’s not Damien I’m worried about, it’s Austin. “I’m fucking done with this shit. I’ve been here long enough, and I may have just lost one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, and it’s all because of this place. It’s because I couldn’t tell him I worked here and did this. I was ashamed of myself because of this shit we have to do here, and I’m fucking done.”
Damien takes a step towards me, but for the first time ever, I don’t feel any fear. I don’t care anymore.
“You think I’m gonna let you embarrass me like this, and get away with it?” he snips as he glares at me. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to, bitch? This is my world you’re living in, and you’ll do whatever the fuck I tell you to do, or I’ll be sure to make an example out of your ass. I don’t give a shit that you took time off and tried to find a dumb guy to love you—some fucking idiot who’s too stupid to recognize that you’re a used up whore. I don’t give a fuck. You work for me. Now, get your ass up on that stage and shake your ass like a good little girl, until I tell you to come down—until I tell you a customer has paid for you.”
“I’m not fucking doing it, Damien!” I scream. I feel tears staring to fall down my cheeks as I stand there with every eye in the room focused on the two of us. “I said I’m done with this. I’m done.”
Everyone in the room is frozen in place. I don’t hear anything but the sound of my own pounding heart and the music blaring from upstairs. The music down here has been shut off for some reason.
“You just don’t fucking learn, do you?” Damien says as he comes towards me. When I see his hand reach back, I don’t flinch. I don’t cower away. I close my eyes and wait for the impact of his palm, which rocks me with a resounding thud and sends me flying backwards. I land on my back and hit my head on the floor. Two girls immediately rush to my side.
“Hey man, what the fuck?” I hear one of the customers say. “That shit’s not cool.”
“Shut the fuck up, pussy. You want a fucking problem with me, huh?” Damien barks at the guy, who responds by grabbing his partner and running towards the stairs.
Damien turns his attention back to me.
“Now, you got anything else you want to say? Or are you gonna get your ass on that stage?”
My head is throbbing, and my ears are ringing like I’m receiving a phone call in my mind, but I’m not afraid. I’m not defeated. I’m done being defeated.
I push the girl’s hands away from me, and then look up at Damien. He looks menacing, scowling and scrunching his forehead with so much effort. I can see it in him, he’s trying to scare me into submission. He wants to use fear to control me. He wants me to beg him for mercy so the other girls see it. But, I won’t give him what he wants, because I’m not the same little girl I was before. Something inside me has changed, and I’m not going to let him control me.
I wipe away the blood that’s streaming from my nose, and then I take a deep breath and exhale. I look down at my right wrist and I see the bracelet Austin gave me last night. Faith. Strength. Hope. I knew I’d need them today when I came to work.
I was confused about everything, and I even started my shift, but when that guy touched me, I knew it was over. I’d become the butterfly Austin saw in me all along. So, I got up and went to go tell Damien I was quitting. That’s when I saw Austin. Even though I know Austin is pissed and may never talk to me again, I’m still that butterfly. I still have faith, strength, and hope. I still have light at the end of my tunnel, and that’s all I think about as I push myself off the floor and stand up.
Damien looks at me like he’s suddenly confused. He doesn’t know how to respond when someone doesn’t go along with his every wish, so he shakes his head and tries to force himself back into being angry.
“You got something else you want to fucking say?” he bellows, furrowing his brow so hard I’m sure it’s giving him a headache.
“Yeah,” I reply as calmly as possible, because I’m not mad. I’m over it. I’m above all of this. “Does it make you feel good to have to prove yourself by hitting women? Make you feel like a real man? A real man would never lay his hands on a woman. A real man knows a woman’s worth. You’re a piece of shit, Damien, and I’m not scared of you anymore. You’ve hit me for the last time. I’m done, and no matter how much effort you put into wrinkling your ugly little forehead, there’s nothing you can do about it. So, fuck you. I quit.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? You can’t fucking quit working here. Are you out of your mind? Hey!” I hear Damien yell as I walk right past him and head into the dressing room to grab the rest of my stuff.
I pass David on the way, but he doesn’t say anything to me, he just nods his head and lets me go.
Once I have my stuff, I walk back out into the club and speed walk right past Damien, who’s still intent on putting on a show.
“What the fuck are you doing, Layla?” he says to me, but I don’t even look at him. “Get your ass back here. You don’t fucking quit working for me. I fucking own you and everybody else in here. You got that? Fine, get the fuck out, bitch! You think I give a fuck? Don’t even try to come back, either. Good luck finding something that’ll pay you better out there. You’re fired, bitch! Get the fuck out!”
When I reach the stairs, I turn around one last time and make eye contact with Damien, who no longer looks scary. He just looks like a child throwing a temper tantrum because things aren’t going his way.
“You’re so fucking pathetic,” I say, then I smile because I know in that moment, I’m above him. I’m bigger than him, and he no longer has any control over me, and he knows it.
I stomp up the stairs, and the pride I feel brings tears to my eyes. I make my way past the people upstairs, and signal to Marlene that I’ll call her, then I push through the exit.
The night air is cold, but it feels good on my face. Unfortunately, Austin is nowhere to be found, but for the first time in my life, I feel free. I’ve been working at
Red Pony since I was seventeen, and now I’m finally free from its shackles. I’m free to grow up and move on, even though I have no idea what I’m moving on to. That scares me a little, but it excites me more.
I know I have a long road ahead of me. I have to find Austin and tell him everything. He needs to hear this from me, because I’m sure he’s pissed. I’m sure he wants nothing to do with me right now, but I just can’t let him go without being able to explain myself first.
The first step was to free myself from the chains of Red Pony, and now that I have, I’m ready for whatever life throws my way. I feel ready to take on the world. I’m full of faith, hope, and strength, and I just hope I can get Austin to listen to me so I can explain everything to him. So, I take a moment to breathe in the fresh air, and then I head towards my car, finally free to chase a life I never knew I wanted.
Layla
“Austin, I know you don’t want to talk to me, but please pick up the phone. Please give me a chance to explain. I’ve called you, like, five times since last night, and you haven’t answered once, so this is the fourth or fifth voicemail I’ve left you. Please call me back. I know how everything must’ve looked to you, and I can only imagine what’s going through your head, and I’m so sorry you had to find out like that. I should’ve told you what I did for a living. I should’ve been . . . look, I’ll explain everything when we talk. I hope I hear from you soon. Oh, and just so you know, I’m on my way to your house. Okay, bye.”
I hang up the phone and drop it into my cup holder, hoping Austin will call me back before I make it to his house. I know I shouldn’t be driving and talking on the phone—even though it was on speaker—but I feel like this situation requires breaking that law. Regardless of my persistence, Austin hasn’t answered any of my phone calls since he saw me at Red Pony last night.
All I could think of was the look on his face as he rushed towards the stairs. I could see it in his eyes that I’d broken his heart—I’d done the exact thing I knew I would do back when our relationship first started. It was right there in my gut the whole time, but I just couldn’t bring myself to stay away from him. I was falling for him and it felt too good to let go, but still, I knew it would come to this. I knew I’d do this to him.
