“Scared,” she said honestly. “What if I have the baby early?”
“You won't, I think you just overdid it a little. I think it was that last mambo that did you in.” She guffawed, and he grinned.
“That was fun,” they always had a good time together, and he was so good to her.
“Apparently, the baby didn't think so. Or maybe he did.”
“What if something happens and we lose the baby?” She rolled over on her side to look at him, and he reached up and took her hand and held it in his.
“What if you stop worrying for a few minutes? How about that?” And then he asked her something she hadn't been prepared for. He had been wondering about it for a while. “Why do you worry so much about losing the baby?” He met her eyes squarely with his. His were the color of melted chocolate, his dark hair was tousled, and he looked very handsome as he lay on the cot, looking up at her.
“I think everyone worries about that,” she said, and looked away from him.
“Kate?”
There was a long pause. “Yes?”
“Have you ever been pregnant before?” It was a question she didn't want to answer, but she also didn't want to lie to him.
The pause this time was even longer. “Yes,” she looked down at him sadly, she didn't want to hurt him, and was afraid that she had.
“I thought so.” He didn't seem too devastated by the information. “What happened?”
“I got hit by a bike at Radcliffe, and lost it,” she said simply, looking sad.
“I remember that, the bike incident, I mean,” he said pensively, “you had a concussion. How pregnant were you?”
“About two and a half months. I had decided to have it. I never told Joe while I was pregnant, or my parents ever. I told Joe about it much later, when he was home on leave.”
“Your parents would have loved that,” he said, looking at her. But it didn't matter, except that he was sorry for the pain she'd been through. But she was his now, and as she lay on the hospital bed talking to him, he smiled at the sight of her enormous stomach. “Everything's going to be fine this time, Kate. You'll see. We're going to have a beautiful baby.” He leaned over and kissed her as he said it, and she was reminded once again of how lucky she was to have him. She wouldn't even let herself think of Joe. Perhaps now, it would finally be over, maybe she could be free of him at last.
They left the hospital the next morning, hand in hand, and she spent the rest of the week resting. And after that she was fine, and had no more contractions, until early one Sunday morning, when she woke him. She had been lying in bed for two hours, while he slept, timing contractions. And finally, she nudged him.
“Hmm … yeah?… time for scotch and cornflakes?”
“Better than that,” she smiled at him, feeling remarkably calm, “time for baby.”
“Now?” He sat up with a start, looking panicked, and she laughed at him. “Should I get dressed?”
“I think you'll look silly going to the hospital like that. Cute though.” He had been lying in bed naked.
“Okay, okay. I'll hurry. Did you call the doctor?”
“Not yet.” She smiled at him as he hurried around the room, picking up clothes and dropping them. She looked like the Mona Lisa. And he looked nervous and disorganized, but very sweet.
Half an hour later, she was showered and dressed, her hair was neatly combed, and he looked slightly disheveled but very attentive. He had an arm around her and was carrying her suitcase. And when they checked into the hospital, the nurse said she was making good progress. And as soon as she said it, they dismissed Andy. He was sent to the waiting room to smoke with the other fathers.
“How long will it be?” he asked the nurse nervously as he left Kate.
“Not for a while, Mr. Scott,” she said, closed the door firmly behind him, and returned to her patient. Kate was getting uncomfortable, and she wanted Andy, but it was against hospital policy for him to be there. And for the first time then, she was frightened.
Three hours later, she was still making progress, but it was slow going, and Andy's nerves were frayed while he waited. They had gotten to the hospital at nine, and by noon he had heard nothing. And whenever he inquired, they brushed him off, it seemed to be taking forever for the baby to come.
It was four o'clock when they took her to the delivery room, which was right on schedule from their point of view, but by then Kate was miserable and crying. All she wanted was Andy. He hadn't eaten all day by then, and had seen other fathers come and go, and some who had waited longer than he had. It seemed like an endless process, and all he wished was that he could be with her. The baby seemed to be taking an eternity to get there, and he was hoping things would be easy for her. In fact, they weren't, she was having a big baby, and it was going slowly. It seemed interminable to both of them.
At seven o'clock that night, the doctors contemplated performing a cesarean section, but ultimately decided to let Kate continue to go normally for a while longer, and finally two hours later, Reed Clarke Scott appeared, named for both their fathers. He weighed just under ten pounds, and had a shock of dark hair like his father's, but Andy thought he looked like Kate. He had never seen anything more beautiful than Kate, lying in bed afterward with her hair combed, in a pink bed jacket, holding their sleeping baby.
“He's so perfect,” Andy whispered. The twelve hours in the waiting room, worrying about them, had nearly driven him crazy. But she looked remarkably calm and happy as she held Andy's hand, she was tired but she looked fulfilled and peaceful. Her dreams had finally come true. Her mother had been right. She had done the right thing, and now she was sure.
Kate and the baby stayed in the hospital for five days, and then Andy took them home with a nurse they'd hired for four weeks. He had bought flowers for her and put them all over the house, and he held the baby while she settled into bed in their bedroom. The doctor wanted her to have three weeks bed rest, which was standard for new mothers. And they had put a bassinet next to their bed, where the baby slept, and whenever he woke, she nursed him, as Andy watched in fascination.
“You look so beautiful, Kate.” He was thinking that they had both been worth waiting for. Good things were, in his opinion. And the baby absolutely delighted him. He was pink and round and perfect.
Kate was twenty-seven when Reed was born. She was a lot older than most of her friends when she had her first baby, but she was ready for him. She was calm and mature, and she was wonderful with him, and loved nursing. She felt as though she had waited an entire lifetime for this time in her life, and she thoroughly enjoyed it, and her husband. They had never been as happy in their lives.
15
REED WAS TWO AND A HALF MONTHS OLD in May when Andy came home from work one night, looking excited. He had been named to be part of a commission going to Germany to hear testimony in the ongoing war trials. They had been going for quite some time, and lawyers of varying specialties were being recruited for several months each. Andy had been getting various kinds of legal experience at his father's law firm, and being invited to participate in the war crimes trials was an enormous honor for him.
“Can I come with you?” Kate was excited, it sounded challenging and interesting and she wanted to be there to watch him work.
“I don't think so, sweetheart. We're going to be billeted in military barracks. The accommodations are bare bones, but the work is going to be wonderful.” He was thrilled to be going, although he hated to leave her and Reed.
“How long will you be there?” It occurred to her that it didn't sound like a two-day trip, maybe not even a two-week one.
“That's the hard part,” he said apologetically. He had considered it carefully before he accepted. They had wanted to know on the spot if he would do it, but he was sure that Kate would want him to be part of something so exceptional. It was an opportunity he had wanted, but never expected. “I have to be there for three or four months,” he said, looking unhappy, and Kate was startled.
“Wow!
That's a long time, Andy.” And he was going to miss so much time with the baby.
“I asked if we can get away for a few days for a break, maybe in the middle, but they said it would be impossible. I'm going to be stuck there and none of the men are taking their wives. There are no accommodations for them.” For three or four months, it would be like being in the army, in the legal corps, but since he'd never done military service, or been in the war, he felt that this was an opportunity to serve his country. “I'm sorry, baby. We'll do something nice afterward, like take a vacation.” He wanted to take her to California because he had loved it there.
“Okay, well, I guess I'll just have to keep busy.”
“I think the young prince will take care of that for you.” He seemed to keep Kate on her toes tending to his needs and nursing. At least she had him, otherwise she would have been really lonely in Andy's absence. “Do you want to go to Boston and stay with your parents?”
Kate shook her head in answer. “My mother would love it, having Reed there. But she'd drive me crazy. We'll stay here and keep the home fires burning. Just don't forget to take scotch for your cornflakes.”
“Thank you for being a good sport about it, Kate,” he said, as he kissed her.
“Do I have a choice? Can I be bratty?” She smiled. She knew she'd miss him but she was pleased for him. It was an honor to be asked.
“You could be bratty, but I'm glad you aren't. I really want to do this. It's important work.” She had been a very good sport, and he loved her all the more for that.
“I know it is.” She respected him a lot for it, and wouldn't have done anything to stop him. “When do you go?” He still hadn't told her.
“In four weeks,” he said, grimacing, and she threw a pillow at him.
“You turkey. You'll be gone all summer.” And then some. He was leaving on the first of July and they had told the attorneys who had agreed to go not to expect to be back in the States until late October. They were coming from all over the country and flying to Germany on a military plane.
As Kate helped Andy organize his papers and pack in the ensuing weeks, she began to realize how lonely it was going to be for her, being in the apartment alone, with the baby. In a year of being married to Andy, she had gotten used to his company, and now she couldn't imagine being without him. Four months was going to seem endless, to both of them.
Two days later, on their first anniversary, he gave her a beautiful diamond bracelet from Cartier. She was bowled over. She had bought him a watch at Tiffany, but it wasn't nearly as impressive as the bracelet he'd given her.
“Andy, you spoil me!” She looked thrilled and he was pleased. He was good to her, and enjoyed doing it, he was happy with her, far more than even he had expected. She was a good wife, a wonderful mother, and a terrific companion. He loved being with her, and making love to her, and laughing with her. They truly were best friends.
“That's for being a good sport above and beyond the call of duty.”
“Maybe you should go away more often,” she said, smiling at him. They had a wonderful evening at the Stork Club.
And when he left on the first of July, they were both sad. She brought the baby when she took him to the airport and saw him off. There were five attorneys leaving from New York, on a military flight. The others were all coming from other cities. Andy kissed her and held her for a long moment before he left. He said he'd try to call her, but didn't think he'd have the chance too often.
“I'll write to you,” he promised, but she suspected more than he did that he wouldn't have time. It was going to be a long, lonely four months without him. As hesitant as she had been about marrying him, now she couldn't imagine a day without him in it. He kissed the baby, and her again, and then ran to catch the plane before he missed it. He was the youngest of the group leaving from New York, and the other wives all smiled at her, as she carried the baby out of the terminal. Reed was three and a half months old, and he would be doing all kinds of things by the time Andy saw him again. She had promised to take lots of pictures.
Kate spent the Fourth of July in New York, and it was sweltering. She and the baby hardly ever went out, since they had air conditioning, and the rest of the month was scarcely better. She would take the baby to the park early in the morning, and try to be home by eleven, and then they'd stay in all afternoon, and go out at the end of the day to get some air as the streets started to cool. But in spite of the baby, and the effort she made to keep herself busy, she was surprisingly lonely without Andy She missed him a lot.
She was pushing Reed in his pram late one afternoon, after they'd been to the zoo, and she wandered past the Plaza Hotel and down Fifth Avenue to look in the store windows. She had just crossed Fifth Avenue when someone dashed across the street and bumped into her. It startled her, and she looked up from checking the baby, they were still standing in the middle of the street, and she found herself looking into the eyes of Joe Allbright. She just stood there for a minute staring at him, she had thought of him so often and never expected to see him again, except in the newspapers.
“Hi, Kate.” It was as though they had seen each other that morning. Nothing had changed. He looked exactly the same. Except there was none of the hardness she had seen on that last day, none of the cruel words, or the disappointment. There was just that incredible face and those blue eyes boring into her, looking as though he'd been waiting for her, but she knew that was an illusion. He could have called her and never had. There were times when, even shy as he was, Joe could be incredibly charming. And he looked that way now. As though he'd been waiting for her for three years.
Horns were honking at them as the light changed, and he took her by the arm, as she pushed the pram, and escorted her to the corner. He helped her up onto the curb, and then smiled as he looked at the baby.
“Who's that?” he asked, with a look of amusement, as the baby crowed at him, as though he was happy to see Joe.
“That's my son Reed,” she said proudly. “He's three months old.”
“He's a handsome guy,” he said thoughtfully, and then smiled gently at her, “he looks just like you, Kate. I didn't know you were married, or are you?” The question would have been insulting from anyone else, but that was the way Joe was. To him, having a baby did not automatically mean one had to be married. He was a little advanced in his thinking, or maybe just backward. Sometimes it was hard to decide which.
“I've been married for a year, almost exactly.”
“You didn't waste any time having the baby,” he said, but that didn't surprise him. He knew that was what she wanted. She had made that clear when she left him. He hadn't seen her in nearly three years, but she looked no different. If anything, she looked better, as did he. He was thirty-nine years old, but no one would have guessed his age. He had an eternally boyish look about him, particularly with his sandy blond hair falling toward his eyes. He pushed it back, as he always had, in a gesture that Kate had always found endearing. She had thought of it a thousand times at night, when she cried for him. And now he was standing in front of her, and it was a strange, sad, empty feeling. She would have liked to be able to say she didn't care, and was unaffected by him, but she had the same odd clutch in the pit of her stomach, like a rock that was turning slowly. She had always thought that was what love meant. But she had never felt the rock in her gut with Andy. With him, she always felt peaceful. And now, with Joe standing inches from her, she felt intolerably nervous. He was just a piece of her past, she told herself. But a very big piece. There was the same electricity between them as he looked into her eyes. She wondered if those feelings ever went away.
“Who's the lucky guy?” he asked casually. He seemed to have no inclination to leave her.
“Andy Scott, my old friend from Harvard.”
“Your mother always said you should marry him. She must be happy.” There was a faint edge to his voice. He knew her mother had hated him.
“She is,” Kate said, feeling dazed. It was as
though he exuded some strange scent that mesmerized her. She could already feel it, and told herself she had to leave. But she felt paralyzed, and lulled by his voice, and went nowhere. “She loves the baby.”
“He's a cute guy. The business is doing great, by the way.” She smiled at the understatement. It was one of the most important corporations in the country, and Andy had told her several times that Joe had made millions. The last thing she'd read about him was that he was starting an airline called AllWorld.
“I read about you a lot, Joe. Are you still flying as much?”
“As much as I can. I don't have enough time. I still test my own designs, but that's a different kind of flying. We're developing commercial airlines now, capable of transoceanic passages. Charles and I flew to Paris together a few weeks ago. But most of the time I'm stuck in the boardroom or my office. I have a place in town now,” he said. They were like old friends catching up on old times, standing on the corner shooting the breeze, except they weren't. The breeze they were shooting was a strong one, and there were dangerous currents in the waters they were wading into. Kate tried to tell herself that wasn't true, but instinctively she knew it was. “We have an office building here now, one in Chicago, one in L.A. I go to the West Coast a lot, but I'm actually in New York more than anywhere else,” he volunteered. He had been leaving his office when he ran into her on Fifty-seventh.
“You're an important man, Joe.” She remembered when he hadn't had anything, and she'd loved him then. In some ways he was different now. He had the aura of a man in power, and yet when he looked at her, he was still the same, awkward, shy, hesitating to look at her one minute, and then gazing directly into her eyes the next, as though he were looking straight into her soul and knew what she was thinking. There was no way she could avoid the power of his eyes.
“Do you need a lift somewhere, Kate? It's too hot for you to be out with the baby.”
“We were just getting some air. I live a few blocks up. I don't mind walking.”
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