The music had started and several of my assailants strode away to start dancing. As the people thinned out, I noticed the buffet of food at the back wall. The lights were different colors flashing to the music. On stage was a DJ. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t tell from where I was or through the mass of people still trying to say their hellos. I scanned the room looking for Julie so I could express my gratitude fully.
She was the center of a group of guys all at least a foot taller than her. She looked like she was surrounded by a fortress of men. She laughed and gracefully touched one of the guys on his bulging bicep. Julie was always a sucker for strong arms. I just shook my head and smiled. Leave it to Julie to accessorize herself with men.
“Care to dance?” A deep male voice shouted beside me over the music.
I turned hoping to see Kyler’s face, but found a friendly smile on the face of Jaxon Owen. I tried to hide my disappointment with a smile. “Maybe in a bit. I’m still trying to thank Julie for this surprise party.” I started stepping away toward her when Jaxon grabbed my hand.
“I’ll go with you. I don’t mind waiting.” He smiled a sweet smile and laced his fingers between mine.
I looked down at our joined hands and wrinkled my forehead in confusion. He noticed my uncomfortable look and released my hand. “Shall we?” He motioned toward Julie and her throng of men. I just stared at him not understanding where the forwardness came from.
Jaxon was one of those guys everyone always wanted to be with, but could never quite attain that relationship status. He was super friendly and always had a date, or two, for any and all functions. I would compare him to the male Julie. He knew everyone and everything. We had a few classes together and he was always the center of attention. I never really thought of him as more than a brother. I’d seen him grow up through the awkward years and now this confident boy turned man was unloading his attention on me. It was mind boggling.
As we walked through the crowd toward Julie, Jaxon leaned in and placed his left hand on my lower back and whispered in my ear. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’ve really missed you. You look amazing.” His hot breath on my ear sent shivers up my spine. I wasn’t sure I could handle his closeness. It felt dirty, as if my brother just put a move on me. I smiled a nervous smile and increased my pace toward Julie.
I inserted myself into her circle of men and leaned into her ear. “We need to talk, NOW.” I yelled and tugged at her arm.
She looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “Can’t it wait? Go dance with Jaxon and we’ll talk in a few.” She turned her back to me and focused her admiration back on the colossal giant of a man in front of her. I’d been dismissed in front of her admirers. I stormed off, Jaxon following like a puppy dog. I stopped abruptly and turned on him. “Are you my assigned chaperone tonight? Did Julie put you up to this?” I accused him with all my pent up anger.
His face blanched out as he came to a halt. He held up his hands. “Whoa! Your chaperone?” He questioned. “Absolutely not. I just wanted to dance with you. If you’re not comfortable with that, I understand.” He backed away a step or two and lowered his hands. My body was surging with adrenaline. I wanted to punch something. I had been humiliated with the surprise party and all of the painful hugs. A good friend who I’d never even imagined having any interest in me puts a subtle move on me, and then Julie dismisses me like a dog. I wanted to be anywhere but here.
“Look Jaxon, I appreciate the attention and all, but this is all too much for me right now. I need a few minutes to myself.” I tried smiling to ease the tension, but I couldn’t feel it in my eyes. My eyes were fighting back traitor tears. When I get mad, I cry. I turned and headed toward the restroom.
My face was already blotchy from the anger and the tears. I grabbed a paper towel and soaked it with cold water. I patted my cheeks and under my eyes trying to remove the redness and stop the angry tears. I was still shaking with anger when Julie pushed the door open.
“Overreacting a bit?” She accused.
“Julie, how could you do this to me? You know I hate attention and this is all too much too soon. I can’t breathe out there.”
Her irritated face melted to concern. “Is it really too much? Everyone has missed you so much. They just wanted to see you. I figured it would be easier to do it this way than to have them all show up on your front door step over the next few days. Most of them are leaving soon and some of them really wanted a chance to say goodbye. I think you broke Jaxon’s heart just now.” She motioned with her head out the door.
“What? Broke his heart? He’s never showed any interest, he’s like a brother, he’s hurt? Over what?” I just shook my head and groaned. “Again, this is too much, too soon.”
“Jaxon has always liked you, he’s just been too afraid to ask. He’s leaving next week for basic training. He joined the Army.” She smiled encouragingly. “He was really shook up after the – accident. He thought you were gone. He stopped dating around like he used to and switched to bugging me about Raegan updates. It’s like he went through withdrawal symptoms. Now that he has a second chance with you, you’ve crushed him.” She lectured me as I wiped my face.
I just shook my head. “Unbelievable.” That’s all I could muster. “Julie, you know he’s like a brother to me. I can’t lead him on knowing it creeps me out. What am I supposed to do?” I turned to her pleading.
She smiled. “All he wanted to do is dance with you. You can manage that much. If he puts on any other moves,” she giggled, “just tell him you’re not ready for a relationship. He’ll understand. He’s leaving and he probably doesn’t want to deal with a long distance relationship. He just wants to be around you.” She looked me over, sighed and shrugged as if she’d given up trying to keep the masterpiece in place. She turned and walked out of the restroom.
I did my best to collect myself and turned to walk out the door. The loud music hit me fully as the door opened. It was a fast song and I figured this would be okay to complete my promise to Jaxon. I walked toward him. His head was turned in the direction of the dance floor as I approached. His baby face had smoothed out to a firm jaw and defined features. His dark brown hair was cut short so his curls were gone. His arms were crossed over his chest. His dark blue button down shirt was slightly unbuttoned to reveal a white undershirt. His low cut jeans showed off his athletic body. His face turned my direction as I was admiring his form trying to get the weird “I’m-checking-out-my-brother” feelings out of my head. He smiled – deep dimples that could melt a heart. His crystal blue eyes sparkled under the flashing lights. I smiled back warmly.
He uncrossed his arms and left them by his side as I approached. “I’m sorry if I came on too strong.” He began. He reached out tentatively and grabbed my hand. “I feel like I’ve waited a lifetime for you to get better so I could have this moment.” His eyes were serious, but his smile kept me from freaking out. He rubbed a circle on my hand with his thumb. “I know you probably think I’ve lost my mind, but I’ve always been afraid to ask you out. We grew up together and it’s never been more than a friendly relationship. But when you were in that accident last year, I realized how important you are to me. I know you probably don’t feel the same as I do, I just wanted you to know before I left.” He let his eyes drift to the floor along with our hands. He inhaled and exhaled quickly as if he’d just had a bulldozer lifted off of his chest.
“Jaxon,” my voice broke and I cleared my throat, “I appreciate you being so honest with me. You’re right, I’ve never even thought of us as more than friends. I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way. This is all overwhelming if you can imagine. Can we start over?” I smiled and reached for his hand to drag him to the dance floor. “I believe I owe you a dance.”
He smiled and allowed me to pull him toward the bouncing bodies already assembled on the floor. People were bumping into each other along with the fast paced music. It felt good to exert some physical movement. We kept dancing through two or three songs before the mu
sic slowed down. Jaxon’s eyes were hopeful and expectant so I caved in and allowed the closeness. He wrapped his arms around my waist and locked his fingers together on my lower back. I wasn’t sure where to put my arms so I laid them on his arms as we swayed back and forth. He released the lock on his hands and left one on my lower back. He grabbed my right hand in his left and folded them to his chest. I could feel his stare on my face as I looked around the room. “Thank you for this dance.” He whispered in my ear. I looked up at him and smiled. His heart was pounding under our entwined hands. He leaned down toward me and my heart started freaking out. Please don’t try to kiss me, I thought and quickly turned my head. His lips landed on top of my head the moment I turned. My eyes were wide with horror as they locked on the bluest eyes I’d ever seen.
Kyler Stone was leaning up against a table twenty feet away. His eyes were locked on mine. His face was rigid, no trace of a smile. I wished I could crawl under a rock. He was here, watching Jaxon faun over me as if we were a couple. I felt ill. His hypnotic eyes held mine; I couldn’t look away from him. My eyes pleaded with him to understand that I wasn’t with Jaxon. I wished he would come over and take me away from this situation. I closed my eyes and tried imagining his arms around me and his lips kissing me. The electric energy I’d felt earlier got closer and my eyes flew open to find Kyler steps away from us.
“Mind if I cut in?” Kyler had tapped Jaxon on the shoulder.
Jaxon stopped swaying and lifted his head toward the new voice. “Hey Kyler, how’s your summer been?” He released our hands and pulled me in closer with his left arm. He reached his right around to shake Kyler’s hand.
“It’s been good.” Kyler’s voice vibrated through my body. I did my best to hide the tremors as Jaxon’s grip loosened. He raised his arm over my shoulders and planted it on my sunburn. I flinched and grimaced with the sudden pain. Kyler’s eyes narrowed in on my shoulders. “That looks painful.” He motioned with his chin toward Jaxon’s arm.
Jaxon quickly lifted his arm. “Oh Raegan, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even notice you’re burned.”
I stepped back a little to get away from his grasp and also breathe before I passed out from the pain. “It’s not that bad unless something rubs on them.” I forced a smile at Jaxon so I didn’t hurt his feelings anymore.
“So do you mind?” Kyler repeated with his eyes locked on me briefly before turning to Jaxon.
Jaxon stuttered. “Um, well, it’s not my decision man. Raegan and I were just going to get something to drink.” Jaxon looked to me anxiously.
I looked back at Jaxon questioningly and then to Kyler who turned his blazing blue eyes back to me waiting. “I’m not very thirsty right now, Jaxon. I don’t mind dancing with Kyler if you need a drink.” I could feel my face flushing as his name crossed my lips. My heartbeat increased with the sudden understanding that I would soon be in his arms. I could feel the magnetic pull to him and fighting it was taking more energy than resisting. Jaxon turned and headed toward the buffet table of food and muttered something as he left. I didn’t hear him because all I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears.
Kyler opened his arms inviting me to him. In three quick steps I was standing toe to toe with him. He took one of my hands in his as the electricity ripped through our joined hands and I gasped at the fire that erupted. He gently placed the other on my lower back sending tremors through my bones, but he didn’t pull me close like Jaxon did. He kept a circle of space between our bodies, but it didn’t matter. The energy surrounding us heated up quickly and consumed my thoughts. I laid my other arm on his arm. His skin was exposed on his black button-down shirt and fire ripped through my bare arm as it touched his. The white from his under shirt glowed under the lights. I could see the necklace he wore earlier today on his neck. My eyes traced up his neck to his strong jaw which was clenched tightly. His eyes were swimming with some sort of emotion I couldn’t find a word for. He looked down into my eyes and the world quit existing. It was just the two of us. He didn’t smile with his mouth, but his eyes seemed pleased, triumphant even. The slower music stopped and increased to a faster paced beat bringing me out of my trance. Kyler still held me in the slow dance embrace. People were bumping into us.
“Thank you.” I whispered to him.
He leaned down to my ear and sent fireworks through my body. “I couldn’t stand to see you so uncomfortable in his arms.” He straightened up as Jaxon approached with two cups of something to drink. He released me and I instantly felt cold. I shivered slightly as chill bumps spread across my arms.
“I know you said you weren’t thirsty, but you should stay hydrated with that sunburn. Geez, how long were you in the sun?” Jaxon handed me a cup of lemonade and took his place at my side, opposite of Kyler. He placed his hand over the small of my back and led me to the table Kyler was leaning on earlier. I turned to find Kyler again, hoping he’d follow us to the table to join us so I wouldn’t have to endure this much longer. Kyler smirked and followed slowly behind. His smile took my breath away and I turned forward to find a chair to sit in. Jaxon sat on my right, and Kyler pulled out the chair in front of us. He spun it around and sat on it backwards. He rested his arms on the back of the chair and just stared at me.
“So when do you head out, Army man?” Kyler asked Jaxon, but kept his eyes on me.
I was very uncomfortable feeling the humming buzz off of Kyler and the tension rolling off of Jaxon. This was not even close to fun.
“At the end of the week, after the bonfire. What about you, Valedictorian? What did you finally decide? Leaving soon?” Jaxon asked hopeful.
Kyler looked at Jaxon. “I’m staying right here.” He returned his overwhelming gaze to me.
My heart dedicated a drum solo to his splendid presence.
“Really? But you could go anywhere. Why would you stay here?” Jaxon was truly interested now, and so was I.
He returned his attention to Jaxon to explain. “I sort of have a full ride at the University here. My mother has a lab that I’ve helped her with all summer. I’ve grown rather fond of the area and want to pursue something here.” He returned his intimidating eyes back to me. “What about you, Raegan?”
The way his lips puckered to say my name had me wanting to feel those lips on mine. I was hypnotized by his presence.
“Rae?” Jaxon’s hand touched my arm and released me from the trance. Worry covered his face. “Are you alright?”
Alright? Of course I was alright. I was just lost in a delusional daydream. “Yep, just fine. Thanks.” I smiled and took a long drink from my cup.
“So what about you? Are you going anywhere for school?” Jaxon asked drawing my attention away from Kyler.
“Oh, not yet. I kind of missed all of the deadlines while I was -- out.” I smirked trying to avoid the subject. “Maybe in the spring.” I interjected.
“Maybe Kyler can get you in at the University since his mom has some pull and you won’t have to wait a whole semester to get started.” His infectious smile was hard to avoid. “How about it, Kyler? Think you can pull some strings?” We both turned to Kyler.
“Not sure, I can definitely look into it.” His eyes focused on mine and the world went hazy again. I saw glimpses of Kyler and I together on campus working together in a lab, holding hands, his lips on mine. He shot up from his chair and my day dream quickly ended. “I’ll see you around.” He shouted as he walked quickly away. My eyes followed him until the bouncing bodies swallowed him.
“He’s a weird guy.” Jaxon commented. “But he’s tough. The guys on the football team dreaded when they had to go up against him in practice. He mowed people over during playoffs. I forgot where he transferred from, but man, they lost a good player when he did. He’s one of the reasons we won state this year. But he’s weird. This is the most I’ve ever talked to him. He never talked in class and he was always by himself during lunch. He took me by surprise when he asked you to dance. I’ll have to admit, I was a little jealous. You looked so f
ragile in his arms. I was afraid he’d break you.” Jaxon smiled and reached for my hand again. I pulled away slightly.
“Look Jaxon, thank you again for the attention, but I don’t want to mislead you in any way. I really care for you as I always have, but this isn’t what I want right now.” I tried to be as honest with him as possible, but there wasn’t any way to make this easy. “You’re a great guy, and I’m sure someone will make you very happy, but it’s not me. I can’t pretend to like you in that way. It would be wrong.” His face broke my heart. He eyes were full of regret. “Please understand that I’m flattered, really flattered. If we hadn’t grown up making sand castles together, this would be a lot easier to find comfort in. But it’s too weird for me. You’re like my brother. I tried to let that go, I really did, but I just don’t feel that way about you.” He nodded his head as if he understood, but his eyes were not convincing.
“It was worth every minute to tell you how I feel. I knew you probably wouldn’t feel the same, but there was always that hope you would.” He reached for my hands and pulled them to his lips. “I will always care for you Raegan. If you ever need anything or want to write me at basic training, I’ll be there for you.” He kissed both of my hands and turned his crystal blue eyes on me before releasing them. “You are the best girl friend I’ve ever had. I hope this doesn’t ruin things between us.” His smile lit my heart like sunshine.
“Never.” I whispered trying to avoid crying. He was saying goodbye and I had to break his heart. I was a horrible person. A tear slid down my cheek. He reached for my cheek with his fingertips to brush it away.
“Why the waterworks?” He chuckled and reached for a napkin to hand to me. “I hope I didn’t make you cry.” His smile turned serious. “Did I make you cry?” He was appalled at himself.
I shook my head trying to deny it, but the tears kept falling. “I’m sorry. It’s just been a long day, and my emotions are on overload.” I forced an apologetic smile and wiped the tears away.
Bonded (The Raegan Mason Trilogy) Page 4
