by Roxie Rivera
Overcome with grief, Benny had rushed into his arms and he'd cradled her on his lap as she wept. Holding her felt like the most natural thing in the world—and he'd never wanted to let her go. He'd been overwhelmed with the realization that he loved her.
But he hadn't been brave enough to say it then. Nor had he found the courage to do it any day since. The few times he'd come close to asking Benny out for dinner or a drink, he'd lost his nerve. He was keenly aware of the huge burdens she shouldered and he liked that she felt comfortable coming to him for help. The idea that making his move might upset the balance of their friendship and push her away from him stopped Dimitri from taking a chance.
Moving his hands to her jean-clad knees, he said, "We'll open a bottle of wine and you can relax while I cook you something delicious. And we'll talk. We'll figure out a way to deal with Johnny and his mess. Okay?"
Something flashed in her dark eyes. Interest, perhaps? He didn't dare hope for anything more.
With a smile, she acquiesced. "Okay."
"Wonderful." He stood and gestured to the desk. "You recount the money. I'll go check the list and lock up the back."
She handed him the keys and clipboard. Their fingers briefly touched and the searing heat of it made his gut clench. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have her soft, small hands touching other parts of him.
Taking a step back, he said, "Come find me when you're ready."
"I will."
He quickly retreated from the office and returned to the storeroom. List in hand, he checked and rechecked the delivered supplies before locking up and shutting off the lights. He heard her come into the back room of the bakery and waited for her to find him. The sweet smell of her, the bare hints of vanilla beans and cinnamon, curled around him and heightened his awareness of her. It took every ounce of his control not to reach for her hand and pull her toward him in the darkness.
Her gentle voice rolled over him. "I'm ready."
God, how he wished that was true.
Chapter Two
An hour and a half later, I sank into the comfy corner of Dimitri's couch and curled my bare feet up onto the cushion. He'd insisted I kick off my shoes the second I came in the door. After being on my aching feet all day, it was a request I was happy to meet.
I'd only been in his apartment a handful of times since he'd signed his first lease five years ago but each time I noticed something different. Tonight it was the display of photos he'd placed on the far wall. Some of them were from his time in the Russian military and one of their Special Forces units. A maroon beret in a shadow box caught my eye. I'd never really asked him about his time working in the elite unit but a little Google-fu had shown me what kind of dangers he'd faced and survived during the various engagements with terrorists and the wars that had taken place during his service.
I spotted familiar faces in the photos from his time here in Houston. Ivan, Yuri and Nikolai, his childhood friends from Russia, were in most of them. The men all shared the same commanding dispositions. They were the types of men you met only once but never forgot.
My gaze lingered on a framed news clipping. Two years ago, the paper had run a series of spotlights on successful businesses headed by immigrants. My grandmother had been interviewed one week. Dimitri's private security firm had been showcased the next week. Using his background in the military and a windfall from a shrewd investment in timeshares, Dimitri had founded a small firm that selected and trained bouncers for the city's hottest nightspots. Some of them also worked security at places like Ivan's elite mixed-martial arts gym.
With all the money he had, I often wondered why the heck he stayed here in this apartment. Even with the improvements he'd made to the space—the hardwood floors and gorgeous tiling—it was still an apartment with no backyard and very little privacy.
Dimitri finished loading his dishwasher and joined me in the living room. He tried to pour more wine into my glass but I put my hand over the cup. "I shouldn't."
"You should." He gently pushed my fingers aside and splashed more of the dark, rich wine into my glass. "It's your second glass. Enjoy it. Relax."
It was the relaxing part that worried me most. Being in his home, sitting at his table and eating the delicious dinner he'd cooked for me had been more wonderful than I'd ever imagined. His friendly offer had given me a glimpse of what I'd craved for so long. I tried to ignore the pang of longing growing heavier and heavier in my chest. Why can't you see me?
Dimitri settled onto the other end of the couch and turned so he could look at me. With one foot resting on his knee, he looked so at ease. "Let's talk about the business."
I sipped my wine and grimaced at the very idea of opening that Pandora's Box of fiscal nightmares. "Let's not."
"No," he said firmly. "You need to talk about it. I can see that it's eating you up. I'm terrified you're going to have a heart attack or stroke from the stress of it all." He nudged my bare foot with the toe of his boot. "Talk."
How could I deny him anything?
With a sigh, I said, "I'm struggling to make ends meet." Because that wasn't quite the truth and I hated to hide anything from him, I clarified my statement. "Actually, I'm basically holding it all together with chewing gum and duct tape. It's…bad." My gut soured as I admitted, "I haven't drawn a salary in ten months and I withdrew from classes last week because I can't afford to keep going right now. I wanted to finish my degree but it's not feasible at the moment."
Dimitri let out a shocked sound. "Ten months, Benny? How the hell are you surviving?"
"I had some money left over from Mom and Dad's life insurance payout. It's running low so I've got to make some drastic cuts to my home budget."
"Why didn't you tell me? I would have loaned you money!"
I squirmed uncomfortably. "I don't want your money, Dimitri. That would make things weird. No money between friends, right?"
His pale blue eyes seemed to darken. I could tell he wanted to say something but he bit his tongue. Instead, he asked, "Can you recover?"
I nodded. "It will be painful, but yes."
"How?"
I ran my finger over the rim of the wine glass. "I'm going to sell the house."
He went rigid. "Your home? But where will you live?"
"I'm not sure. I'll probably try to get an apartment closer to here." Trying to make myself feel better about losing the house I'd grown up in, I said, "Johnny and I don’t need that much space. We're never there so we don’t get to enjoy the big yard or the pool. The market is really hot in our neighborhood. We own the house outright so I hope we can get enough from the sale to clear the business debts."
Dimitri downed the rest of his wine and set aside his glass. "You should move in here."
At first I didn't understand him. The wine made my thoughts a little fuzzy. Then it hit me. "You're moving out? When?" My voice climbed higher and higher as I spoke but I had to know. "Why?"
He peered at me so intently the fine hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stood on edge. "It's time. This place was always supposed to be a transition for me but I got comfortable here."
"Isn't that a good thing?" I couldn’t believe how pathetic I sounded.
"Sure," Dimitri replied gently, "but that mess downstairs proved to me that it's time for me to go."
"I don’t understand."
"I shouldn't have gotten involved with you and Johnny this evening. Every time I do, he gets nasty with you. I try to help you but I'm only making things worse."
"That's not true. I know you've gotten Johnny out of some bad scrapes." He started to protest but I shook my head. "I hear things, Dimitri. I know you've put your ass on the line for him once or twice. I don't…I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you here."
"Even if I'm not living here, I'll always be there for you and Johnny."
It was a small comfort but it didn't ease the painful ache surrounding my heart. "I worry Johnny is going to get into real trouble one of these days.
"
Dimitri exhaled slowly. "Becoming a man isn't an easy thing, Benny. Some men find it easier than others. If Johnny wants to play grown-up, let him deal with the consequences."
The idea of Johnny getting hurt made my belly ache. "I don't know if I can."
"You have to cut the apron strings." He made a scissor-like gesture. "You have enough on your plate without worrying about Johnny too. God, Benny, you deserve to have a life of your own."
I snorted softly. "A life? I can't even remember what that was like." Loose-lipped from the wine, I confessed, "I haven't had a date in nearly two years. Hell, I can't even remember the last time I was kissed or had sex."
The second my embarrassing confession escaped my lips, I wanted to die. I dropped my gaze to my lap and wished a hole would open up and swallow me.
I held my breath as Dimitri moved. I prayed he wouldn’t say something trite or make an awkward joke to ease my uncomfortable gaffe. When his fingers closed around my wine glass, I let him take it away. The message was pretty clear. He was cutting me off.
But then he did the most shocking thing. He slid so close our thighs touched. Those big, strong hands cupped my face and forced me to meet his gaze. I felt the air rush out of my lungs as we stared at one another.
"We just broke your streak."
I blinked. "What?"
His thumb made lazy circles on my skin. "We just had a date."
Feeling a bit dizzy, I asked, "Did we?"
His lips twitched with amusement. "We did."
And then he kissed me.
I held my breath as his lips moved against mine, the kiss so tender and sweet it stunned me. Imaginary fireworks burst around me as Dimitri deepened the kiss, daring to swipe his tongue against my lips and coaxing me to let him inside. I clutched at his arms as he plundered my mouth, kissing me like no other man ever had. I melted into his warm embrace and prayed the moment would never end.
When it did, I experienced a quiver of embarrassment as the reality of what he'd done hit me. I couldn't meet his gaze. "You didn't have to do that."
"Do what?" he asked softly and brushed his fingers through the ends of my ponytail.
Face aflame, I said, "I don't need your pity kisses, Dimitri."
He grasped my chin and lifted my gaze. I was surprised by the frustration written so clearly on his handsome face. "Is that what you think? That I pity you?"
I gaped at him. "I don't know. I mean—look at you. You're, like, so far out of my league."
"League?" He growled with disgust. "Jesus Christ, Benny, is that what you think? That I don’t find you attractive?"
"I—"
He cut me off with another kiss, this one punishing and demanding. I gasped as he grabbed me by the waist and dragged me onto his lap. The way he so easily manhandled me made my belly clench. His hands rode the curve of my back to settle on my bottom.
I inhaled a shuddery breath as he clasped my backside. Suddenly my jeans felt incredibly thin. "Dimitri…"
"Hush," he whispered and kissed me again. "Do you know what I see when I look at you?"
Feeling totally out of my depth and completely off-kilter, I simply shook my head.
"I see the prettiest brown eyes and the most tempting lips." He nuzzled our noses together. "If you only knew how many nights I've dreamed about having your soft, swollen lips wrapped around my cock."
My eyes widened at his frank admission. Lightheaded with surprise and desire, I couldn't believe this was happening. Am I dreaming?
Dimitri's hand left my bottom and slid around to my front. He palmed my breast through the thin cotton of my bakery t-shirt. "I fantasize about seeing you naked. I imagine what it would be like to lick and kiss your breasts while you're pinned beneath me in my bed." His other hand gave my backside a little swat. "Some nights I stroke my dick and imagine that it's your tight, wet pussy squeezing me. That it's your ass bouncing on my lap while you ride me and come on my cock."
Breathless now, I began to tremble. White-hot currents raced through me. Was this really happening? My inner cynic shouted this was all some kind of colossal prank but the hungry look in Dimitri's pale blue eyes assured me he was dead serious. He wanted me!
Dimitri's hand moved to the back of my head and he tugged me down for another one of his wildly sensual kisses. My toes curled against the couch as his tongue darted into my mouth. He nibbled my lower lip. "You're staying with me tonight."
I gulped. "Am I?"
He shot me a devilishly sexy grin. "Yes."
Suddenly, I became self-conscious to the extreme. Working dough, icing trays of pastries, rushing from the hot kitchen to the crowded front room—it was all hard, sweaty work. Feeling less than sexy, I asked nervously, "Could I maybe, um, get a shower first?"
He chuckled and kissed me again. "Only if I get to join you."
"Oh!" I chewed my lower lip. The idea of Dimitri seeing me stark naked under the bright lights of his bathroom made me more nervous. "Well…"
"That wasn't a request." He shifted me off his lap but gripped my hand in his as he stood. I got the feeling he feared I would dash for the door if he let go. He was probably right. Even though I'd fantasized about spending a night with Dimitri, I found my courage fleeing at the reality of it happening.
Wordlessly, he tugged me along behind him. He dragged me to the front door and flipped the deadbolt before pulling me across the living room to the bedroom in the back of the apartment. I still couldn't quite believe what was happening. I felt sure that any moment I would jerk awake and find myself slumped over my desk, passed out from the sheer exhaustion of working twenty-hour days for months on end.
But it was real. This was really happening.
I was shaking by the time we reached his bathroom. I hadn't seen the inside of the space since he'd moved into the apartment. I knew he'd done work to the place—Abuelita let him have a break on the rent any time he made improvements—but I had no idea it looked this nice. The soft blue glass tile in the shower made the small space look so much bigger. He'd switched out the faucet and cabinets for something sleeker and more modern.
After he turned on and adjusted the water temp, Dimitri faced me. For a long moment, we simply stared at one another. He toed off his boots and jerked off his socks. When his fingers started to flick through the buttons lining the front of his steel grey shirt, a thrill of excitement coursed through me. My eyes widened with appreciation as he shucked the piece of clothing.
Incredibly toned, his lean muscles rippled as he moved. I raked my gaze over him, taking in every delicious inch of that ridiculously sexy chest. Old war wounds and scars dotted his skin. I understood then why he never spoke of his time in the Russian army. I doubted the memories were very good.
When he turned to drop his shirt into the hamper against the wall, I caught sight of the tattoo covering most of his back. It was beautiful with bold bursts of color and heavy dark lines. Unlike the obvious prison pieces I'd seen on Ivan's hands, the tattoo on Dimitri's back showed real skill and artistry.
"A phoenix?" I asked, surprised by the mythical beast he'd chosen.
He quirked an amused smile. "Why does that surprise you?"
"I don't know. I suppose I expected that if you had tattoos they'd be more…" I searched for the right word. "Primitive. Primal."
"I had this done when I left the service and came here." He gestured to his back. "It seemed like a good representation of the change I was making. Here? In this country? I could be anything I wanted. I was starting over from the ashes of my old life."
His reasoning resonated with me. As the granddaughter of immigrants, I understood his story and related to it. From birth, my grandparents had drilled into my head how lucky I was to be born here, in a place where anything was possible with enough hard work and dedication.
"I get it, Dimitri."
"I knew you would." He started to unbuckle his belt and my heart began to race. The whomp-whomp-whomp of blood rushing by my eardrums accompanied my discove
ry that Dimitri preferred boxers. I thought for sure he would keep them on but he slipped out of them without a moment's hesitation.
It was all I could do to stop my jaw from dropping to the floor. His magnificent cock jutted forth from neatly trimmed curls—and pointed right at me. Whatever doubts I'd harbored about his attraction to me fled in that instant. There was no faking that response.
Dimitri took a step toward me and I took one back. His grin turned a bit playful and he continued to advance upon me. With one hand, he shut the door and backed me up against it. Caught between Dimitri's hard body and the stiff wood at my back, I had no choice but to surrender to his seeking mouth and roaming hands. The ruddy head of his thick cock rubbed against my belly and caused my mind to race with filthy thoughts.
My brain began to misfire as his rough palms slipped under my t-shirt to stroke my bare skin. Heat flooded my core. I squeezed my thighs together to ease the throbbing there. Years of running myself ragged as my grandmother fought and lost her battle with cancer, my brother spiraled out of control and the business nosedived had taken their toll on me. My body had learned to run on fumes and in doing so had all but shut down my libido.
But Dimitri's strong hands moving over my skin stoked the embers of my desire. When his lips touched my neck, the flames of need flared to life within me. My skin burned under his touch and I arched into him, welcoming the quicksilver flashes of excitement he evoked with his mouth and hands.
Kneeling in front of me, we were almost eye to eye. I stood only an inch over five feet and he had a good foot on me in the height department. He smiled mischievously before kissing me. I'm sure he was thinking how odd we must look right now.
When he grasped the bottom of my shirt, I lifted my arms and let him drag it up and over my head. Standing there with my bra bared to him, I was grateful I'd put on a cute pair of undies today. The bright purple print with white polka dots was more playful than sexy but at least I hadn't gone for the super comfortable sports bra and full briefs that I often slid into when half-asleep in the morning.
