by Ali Olson
Guadalupe nodded. “Yes. You have been very helpful. Thank you.”
Jimmy smiled shyly, knowing that the compliment was unjustified—that the small amount he had done was in no way recompense for her services to him—yet he was still happy to receive her praise. He looked around the small main room of her home, wondering if there was anything more significant he could do for her. Though he had done little handiwork during his life, he had a few basic skills that he could put to use.
Unfortunately, it seemed the woman’s skills in that regard outstripped his, or she had a man around in the not-too-distant past, because he could see a mended part of the wall that was fixed not very long before and was sound work. The furniture was sturdy and nothing seemed to need any repairs at all.
“Have you taken care of this place all by yourself? Everything looks solid and well-cared for.”
He thought she would appreciate the compliment, but when he looked back at her after finishing his survey of the area, he was startled to see that her face had lost its color and her jaw was set in a grimace of pain.
“I am sorry!” he exclaimed, not knowing how to stop whatever damage his words had caused.
She smiled, though her eyes were brimming with tears, and sat down near him at the table. “No, don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong. My husband—“ her voice faltered for a moment “—he took good care of our home. He died last month. I lost mi amor.”
Inwardly berating himself for thoughtlessness, he put his hand on her shoulder, glad she was on his right side so he could use his good arm. She leaned forward, her elbows on the table, and breathed deeply for a few moments. She smiled at him once again and rose to attend to the stew, though the ministrations were likely unnecessary.
“Our horse was scared by a snake. He fell and the horse stepped on him. He was hurt too much.”
Jimmy could see the pain in her face as she relived the loss of her husband, and his heart went out to her. He had nothing comforting enough to say to her. How do you console someone fighting that kind of pain? Finally, he simply said, “That’s terrible, Guadalupe. Is there anything I can do?”
She stopped stirring and turned to him in earnest. “You have already done more than you think, Jimmy. I have been alone too much, and that leaves me too much time in my own head. Finding you, helping you get better, has given me something important to do. And another person in the house is very nice. You help more than you know. How could I get the bread and stew done without you?”
He laughed, and her smile became more genuine, a sign of actual mirth rather than a mask over her feelings. He said, “That’s why the bank made me a manager, you know. Because I’m one heck of a cook.”
Her smile turned into a full laugh, and he was happy to have caused it. After she quieted, she told him, “I sold the horse afterwards. Now I am sorry I did, because I trapped you here without any way to contact anybody from the bank or your Maria. I wish I could do something to fix this problem.”
At the sound of Maria’s name, Jimmy felt his unease rise within him once again. How was she? Did she think he was dead? Almost certainly, and it squeezed his heart to know that he had hurt her, even if it was unintentional.
There was more to his disquiet, though. An underpinning of fear. He was sure that his death would upset her, but what if she decided this clean break was for the best? She had always been more than practical, and the thought of going back to her only to be rejected was more than he could bear.
He couldn’t let himself think of that possibility. He cleared his throat and responded to Guadalupe’s questioning eyes. “You’ve done so much. You saved my life. And I cannot possibly blame you for not having a horse after… Well, I will be getting back to Shasta soon, and in the meantime I’m going to help you all I can.”
He tried to throw an air of lightness into the last few words, hoping that they could go back to more pleasant conversation, though it seemed like she noticed that he had omitted Maria’s name. He just wasn’t sure he would be able to get through it in a steady voice.
Still, she said nothing about it and nodded briskly, her eyes twinkling with humor. “Good, because I plan to work you to the bone before the week is done.”
He laughed, and relished the feeling. He had spent so much time the past couple days unhappy or worried that it felt good to let go and laugh for a moment. “What task do you have for me to do? I am quite ready.”
“You are going to lie down and relax and let yourself heal.”
He sighed, resigned to still being an invalid. “Yes, ma’am.”
She helped him up, and he lay gently back on his makeshift bed, trying not to jostle any of his injuries. He was still very much in pain, but it was no longer overwhelming. He was relieved there was noticeable improvement.
Once he was settled, Guadalupe pressed her hand to his forehead, smiled and nodded to herself, and then left him to relax and rest. As she headed out the door, she said, “You stay there and be still for a little while. Try to sleep. I will be outside, but you can call if you need me.”
He nodded and stretched his body out, glad to be in a position that caused no discomfort. Within minutes, he was asleep.
Maria stepped out of the coach, tired but optimistic. Emma had not cried or caused any problems during the long trek, but she needed to be kept occupied the entire duration to prevent any panic over the coach movements and the changes occurring, and it had worn Maria down. She helped Emma climb slowly from the carriage, and then she turned to look at her new town.
The wooden buildings looked much like those in Shasta, and if not for the large number of strangers walking past, she could imagine herself back in the town in which she had lived for so many years. She stood there, her brain whirring, wondering how she was going to find a place to live and where they would stay that night. After a few moments, she realized she needed to make a decision, so she walked into the post office, holding Emma’s hand firmly so she would follow without fear.
The elderly man behind the counter looked up as she entered. Maria had planned what exactly to say throughout the long ride, and she repeated it aloud for the first time. “Hello, sir. I’m new to town and need to find a place to live. Could you point me in the direction of a house my family and I could let, or at least a place for my sister and me to stay the night?”
The man looked at her curiously. Maria knew that a lone woman and a strange little girl—Emma was currently staring into the corner of the building blankly—must be quite a sight. Still, she waited for his answer, not wanting to explain the situation.
The man, apparently deciding not to ask questions, responded. “Welcome to town, Miss. I don’t know about an empty home, but there is a house a few streets away that has a spare room for the night, if I’m not mistaken.”
He gave Maria directions to the potential lodging, and she thanked him and started off. She knew that Emma would need to eat soon, but the need for shelter was her driving force for the time being. Her body was exhausted and her mind had been pushing so hard for so long that she wasn’t sure how much longer she could be strong; arranging a place to sleep for the night would at least release some of the worry and allow her to relax a little.
She reached the house that the man had indicated. It looked much like the rest of the houses along the packed dirt of the road, except for a small sign that read, “Boarders Welcome.” Maria knocked, her heart hopeful. After a few moments, a gray-haired woman, rather large and with a kind face, opened the door. She wiped her hands on her apron and looked at Maria expectantly. “Can I help you, Miss?”
“The man at the post office said that I might be able to stay here the night. I’m looking for a house to let for my family and me, but the two of us need a place to stay until I find one. Is your room available?”
The woman’s face had broken into a friendly smile as Maria spoke and began to usher them into the house before Maria had even finished. “Why, yes it is. I’m glad to have a couple of ladies here instead of
those messy men. Frank sent you aright. Just come on in, now. I’m just finishing supper, if you’re hungry. If you are moving here to Redding, you must have some things that need to be collected.”
At Maria’s nod, the woman nodded and turned towards the stairs. “Simon! Come down here and meet our new guests. They have some luggage you’ll need to fetch before supper.”
An elderly man began walking down the stairs, and Maria began to protest his being sent for her things.
The old man smiled kindly at her. “I’m glad to go get it for you, ma’am. Keeps me young.”
He grabbed his hat and walked out the door, surprisingly spry for his apparent age, before she could protest any more. The woman, who introduced herself as Sarah, showed Maria to a small but nicely kept room. As she walked Maria and Emma through the house, she kept up a continuous string of friendly chatter.
“Simon and I moved out here twenty years ago, back when the town was first getting started, and we built this house with the little money we brought with us. Simon did a little panning, but with the garden and the occasional boarder, we’ve been able to stay pretty steady without much work. We built the extra room thinking we might have children, but the Lord didn’t see fit to give us any; the company we get from letting out this room has given us more friendship and pleasant times than you can imagine, though.”
Maria smiled at the kind woman's cheerful manner and sense of contentedness. "We only plan on staying a few nights while I look for a house to let, but we appreciate the hospitality. I'll be taking care of my sister and a friend, and hopefully giving French and English lessons to those in town who might want them, so we need a place of our own before too long."
Sarah nodded at her words. "You should do just fine in Redding on both counts. I believe there is a place or two nearby that are available. Simon can show you tomorrow. And as for teaching French and English, I can think of several people in town that would be happy to have some education from such a lady as you."
Maria smiled her thanks, but felt her gut roll over. What would this kind woman think of her if she knew the truth? Still, that was all behind her, and she refused to feel ashamed about the choices she had made when she had no other option.
“I truly appreciate your help, ma’am. The sooner I can start making some money and get settled in a place, the better. My sister Emma gets upset if there’s too much uncertainty going on.” Maria touched her sister’s head as she spoke, and Emma hugged her. She had been looking around and Maria could tell she was getting more nervous with each new sight.
Sarah looked worried. “I hope I haven’t frightened her none? I know I get to blabbin’ and it takes an act of God to get me to stop.”
“Oh, no, you’ve been wonderful. I just think it might be good to get her settled down into a room for the night, and then I can get her something to eat.”
Sarah shook her head emphatically, “Posh! Supper will be ready in just a few minutes. I will bring it up to the two of you so your sister can feel more comfortable. You head on up and I’ll be there in a jiffy with some hot stew and bread. Nothing better after a long trip.”
With that, Sarah had moved swiftly into the kitchen, and Maria could hear the scraping of metal against cast iron as Sarah finished making the meal. Her heart much lighter than it had been, Maria coaxed Emma towards the room they would share for the night.
Maria woke up from a fitful sleep. Outside the window, the sunlight barely edged the nearby mountains. Though she had found a nice couple and a comfortable place to stay, the need to locate a suitable home for her, Emma, Josie, and little Alice was weighing on her, as well as her memories of Jimmy and the sorrow she couldn’t shake.
She rose from the bed, managing not to disturb Emma, and moved to the small chair in the corner of the room. It was still too dark to read in the early dawn light, so Maria stared out the open window at the lightening sky and allowed her mind to wander.
The moment her mind was allowed to focus on anything but the present, however, it inevitably landed on the topic of Jimmy.
Instead of pushing the thoughts away, as she had consistently tried to do, she let herself sink into her reminiscences. Maria thought about the moment she had seen him at the restaurant, the recognition and happiness that had flowed through her. She recalled what it felt like to have his arms wrap around her waist and lift her off the ground, the excitement of their bodies so close.
She let her mind stall on memories of making love to him, reliving each caress, the wonder of kissing his smooth skin. She had never felt so at home in a man’s arms, and doubted she ever would again. After having something so wonderful, she knew she could never settle for less than that.
Before seeing Jimmy again, she had never thought much about marriage except as a way to secure enough money to take care of herself and Emma, and even that was not enough to give up her freedom. She preferred working at Daisy’s rather than losing herself to someone else, and had never felt anything near that love and passion which makes marriage a delight instead of a chore.
She had finally found the perfect man to marry, one that she loved deeply and didn’t force her to pretend to be something she wasn’t. She could finally be completely herself with a man.
Maria slowly came out of her musings. He was gone, and it didn’t do to dwell too much on what might have been. She rubbed her face with her hands, massaging the sides of her head and her closed eyelids, letting the load of pain, sadness, and responsibility settle back onto her heart. There was a good deal to get done before Josie and Mr. Swenson came in the wagon, and she couldn’t spend that time wishing for things that could never be.
The sky had grown brighter, and the sun would make its way over the edge of the mountains soon enough. Maria lifted herself out of the chair and began to plan her day. After Simon had brought her luggage the evening before, he had agreed to take her around to the house nearby that he believed she would be able to let. She hoped her good luck thus far would continue to hold; if she could find a small place for a reasonable cost, she would be able to settle, and perhaps soon her new life would be able to truly begin. It wasn’t exactly a happy thought, but it did have a calming effect. She breathed deeply, ready for another day of decisions.
Chapter 11
Jimmy stood up slowly, pressing his weight onto the makeshift crutch, glad to finally be able to stand on his own. Even though it was no more than a small piece of wood attached perpendicularly to a long one, with some string tying them together and rags wrapped around the top to make leaning on it more comfortable, he was happy with his creation.
Once he had thought of the idea for a crutch and Guadalupe found thick sticks of the appropriate length for him, he spent hours smoothing them down and boring a hole in the smaller piece so the two would fit together snugly. Now that he was using it, it seemed sturdy enough and incredibly useful; he smiled down at his handiwork.
“You finished it. It looks good.”
He turned towards Guadalupe’s voice to see her standing in the doorway, looking at his accomplishment, appearing somewhat impressed with his results. Even though he knew it looked nowhere near anything a skilled whittler would craft—in fact, it was his first attempt at whittling since he was a child playing around on the camps—he still felt a swelling of pride at the compliment.
Jimmy hobbled a step closer to the door. “It is working pretty well, I must admit. Came out better than I expected. Now I can be a little more useful around here.”
“Good. I was getting tired of you playing sick.”
He looked up, surprised, to find a smirk of sarcasm on her face.
He smiled back. “I can hardly believe how lazy you let me be, young lady. You have been too good to me.”
“Yes, we would not want the man with the broken leg and bullet wound to sit and rest too much.”
“I hate just lying there while you bustle all over taking care of everything yourself. It was driving me crazy. Now that I have this,” he leaned on his good foo
t and picked up the crutch, waving it in the air, “I can actually do something useful.”
She shook her head in exasperation. “You need to let yourself heal. If you start pulling weeds and hurt yourself more, you will just end up making things more difficult.”
“True. But if I don’t hurt myself, then the weeds will be all gone, you would get a minute to relax, and I will feel like less of a burden,” Jimmy stated, matter-of-fact.
Guadalupe sighed and moved out of the doorway. Her hair shone in the sun, and for a moment they were Maria’s silky tresses before him. His breath caught in his throat as he ran through the same questions that had been flowing through his mind constantly: What was she doing at this moment? Did she miss him, wonder where he was, believe he was dead?
The long agonizing wait was pressing in on him, almost making him feel claustrophobic. Crafting the crutch had mostly been a way to give himself something to do so he would stop sitting with his thoughts, agonizing over their separation. The work had been unable to completely stop the litany of imaginings and assumptions, but he hoped some more manual labor would help.
He still had three full days before he could catch the post coach into town, before he could talk to Maria, explain how much he loved her and how he wanted to be with her forever, regardless of everything else.
Now, though, he had a new problem to think about; what about Guadalupe? Could he just leave her, after all she had done for him, with a quick thank you and a wave as the coach pulled away? It seemed wrong, but what else could he do?
He looked at her thoughtfully as he hobbled to the door. She had lost her husband and was alone with nobody to help her. If it weren’t for Maria, he might have considered staying there and continuing to assist her, but he needed to get back to his love. Just thinking about her made his fingers itch to touch her, run through her hair, cup her face. He needed to leave as soon as he could.
