by Ruby Scott
“Katherine,” Jason said sharply. The sound of her full first name brought her out of her reverie suddenly, and she jumped so high she knocked her head against the top of the carriage.
“I’m fine,” she grumbled, rubbing her fontanelle. “I’m just thinking.”
“Well, I understand you need to think,” Jason said gently. “But I want you to know you shouldn’t worry.”
Kate laughed bitterly. “There are vampires and werewolves in this town, but I shouldn’t worry.” Tears flooded her eyes, both from the pain and the sudden burst of emotion. “I have no family, no friends, but my new husband says he can protect me from the paranormal, so I shouldn’t worry!”
“No, you shouldn’t.” Jason pushed open her carriage door and gestured outside. “Now come on in. I need to show you your new home. Your safe new home.”
Katie hopped out, still grumbling and holding her head. Dust flew up and settled around her shoes as she stood in the twilight, silently fuming. Her mood softened as she gazed at the sprawling butter yellow house at the end of the long dirt driveway. It had wide bay windows, and the doors were thrown wide open to invite in the breeze. There were indeed wildflowers around the home as far as she could see, stretching into the forest to form a colorful carpet she knew she wouldn’t have trouble treading for fear of disturbing its beauty. She could into the house and through the back door, where there was a lazily running river about one hundred yards beyond the start of the wood. Katie felt herself moving toward the house as if in a trance, eager to sit down on a surface that wasn’t moving.
She climbed the steps into the living room before Jason inside, and she was admiring the gleaming floors and roaring fire as he deposited her luggage into a room. Kate walked over to a soft-looking couch and sank into its cushions, pleased to find it not firm or sagging, but perfectly in between. She let her mind stay empty for all of ten seconds before the panic bled back into her brain, just in time for Jason to sit next to her.
“We have something else to talk about,” he said uncertainly. “I was actually hoping you’d put it together by now, but it doesn’t look like you have.”
Kate looked at him sharply, unsettled to see the unease on his face. “What is it now?”
Jason laughed at the weariness in her voice. “You’re taking this in stride, I see. It’s about my show. And about me.”
“The bear?” Kate asked absently. “Don’t tell me he lives with you, or something.” Then something in her mind stirred. “Wait; I remember asking how you trained him. Are you going to tell me? Or show me?” She felt a smile start to break cross her face, but it fell before it was fully formed. Jason’s smile was too mysterious for comfort. “He does live with us,” she moaned, exasperated.
“Sort of,” Jason admitted. “But you won’t ever have to see him if you don’t want to.”
Kate’s heart was pounding in her chest again. “Mr. Barrett, what do you mean?”
“It’s Jason, Miss Green.” Jason looked uncomfortable, but he didn’t speak again.
“Kate,” she shot back. “What do you mean?”
He was starting to smile bashfully. “I mean…it’s me. I’m the bear.”
Kate’s mouth dropped open. “You’re a…shifter?”
“Werebear,” he said quickly. “And you don’t have to see my bear form, ever.” He leaned closer to her and took one of her hands in his, and Kate felt a ripple of electricity shoot up her arm. “Kate, I’ve grown to like you so much. You’re a wonderful soul, and you’re even more beautiful than I imagined. I can’t make you stay, but…I need you here. You’re so kind and understanding.” His eyes were full of fear, but an edge of hope was present as well. “I can make you happy. And you never need to be afraid. Anything that could hurt you stays far, far away from me.”
Kate finally took a breath, then another, and another, and she found she couldn’t stop. They came faster and faster, and eventually she couldn’t keep her body upright. She felt a hand on her back, and then she was falling sideways onto her new werebear cowboy husband’s lap. How embarrassing.
When she came to, Kate was on a soft bed high off the ground in a cool, dark room. She could a hear a low voice murmuring gently, and something cold and wet pressing against her forehead. She thought she would have a few moment before the reality of her new life rushed back to her, but her awareness came back to her so suddenly that it was if she’d never passed out in the first place. The proximity of the supernatural was a fact she couldn’t evade, and neither was her new husband’s true identity. Kate opened her eyes slightly, and her mind briefly believed an actual bear was hunched over her body, stroking her feverish head with a wet cloth. She whimpered, and her eyes flew open all the way, revealing Jason’s worried face as his hand quickly drew away from hers.
He blinked down at her as she propped herself up on her elbow, pulling cool air into her body gratefully. “You went out like a light,” he said, his voice filled with concern. “Did you eat at all today?”
Kate shook her head, and she realized her curls were all messed up. “I forgot,” she admitted as she sat up and started trying to smoothen her chestnut waves down around her shoulders. The sheet Jason has placed across her fell away, and Kate realized she was wearing her slip and underthings. He’d removed her dress. She looked up, ready to snap at him, but the anger faded when she saw he had turned his face away from her and was blushing furiously. We are getting married, she thought and was surprised to find that she meant it. She really did intend to marry him after all this; was she crazy? Had the magic of the area taken away her sense, too?
“Sorry about that,” Jason was saying. “I think you got a little overheated, too. It’s a little warmer out west, even in winter.” He ran a hand through his thick black hair nervously, peering at her as though he was afraid she would snap at him. His green eyes were flecked with gold, like individual stalks of wheat in a lush prairie. “Is that ok?”
Kate nodded slowly, watching him from her place on the bed. Now that she was looking at him, she wondered how she couldn’t tell he wasn’t fully human. The power that rolled off him was almost tangible---it hadn’t just been an impression she was getting in the wake of his anger. The dark stubble covering his cheeks and jaw was much thicker now, almost a full beard. He’d grown that while she had been out, she supposed. His jacket had been discarded, and she could see that his sleeves were rolled up, but the room was too dark to make out much else. It made her nervous.
Jason stood and walked over to the other side of the room suddenly, and Kate was startled. She wondered if she had done something unintentionally to offend him, but she hadn’t even moved. Then she saw him take out a match, and a second later he turned around with two lit lanterns. He placed on by the bed and the other by the door, filling the room with a soft golden light that was oddly comforting.
“Is that better?” he asked.
“How did you know I wanted that?” Kate’s heartbeat sped up as her suspicions rose. “Are you psychic too?”
Jason shook his head, amusement clear on his features. “No, but I could tell you were scared, and could see that you weren’t getting enough light to see me, and that was bothering you more.” The silence that filled the room was so pronounced that it was almost deafening. Jason’s face crumpled. “And now you’re scared because I read you so well. I’m sorry; it’s kind of what I do.” He looked down at his hands and sat on the bed again.
“Is it because you’re a bear?” Kate whispered. Jason laughed again, and she jumped.
“Yes, and you don’t have to sound so solemn about it.” His eyes were sparkling again, and Kate saw that they looked more flecked with gold than they had before---streaks, actually, more than flecks. “I have certain advantages because I’m a bear. I’m taller and stronger than humans, I can smell better, read energies, and I have a few tricks up my sleeve as well.” He looked up briefly and winked, and a red-hot current of energy shot between them, ripping a gasp from Kate’s lips. She felt her nippl
es harden under her slip and brassiere, and she was thankful the sheets were pulled around her again. Kate was suddenly very aware of how close he was sitting to her, and she felt herself inch closer to him.
“So,” he continued, looking down at his hands again. “Now that you know everything…what do you think?”
Kate bit her lip and gazed at him. “What do you mean?”
Jason’s brow knit together in confusion. “I mean, do you want to stay? I can’t make you marry me, I know. I can’t force you.”
“You could,” Kate said softly, looking at the size of his hands.
“I could,” Jason allowed. “But I won’t.” He met her gaze again, and Kate felt the muscles in her lower stomach clench suddenly. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. I want you, Kate…but I want you to want me, too.” He stretched a hand out and brushed her lower lip with his thumb, then threaded his fingers through her soft brown hair. Kate leaned her cheek against his palm, sighing happily at the tingle of energy that met her when their skin touched. She kissed his palm lightly, and she was surprised to see him shiver in response. His fingers started to play with the loose curls still in her hair.
“I do want you,” Kate said, her voice low. She pressed her thighs together, trying to relieve some of the pressure between her legs that had flared up when they touched. She looked at Jason, startled to see his eyes even more overrun with gold than before. She couldn’t look away. “I want you more than I ought to, having just met you.”
Jason laughed and leaned closer to her, slipping his other hand around her waist under the silky sheet. He squeezed her gently and brushed his lips against her ear. “How do you know how much you ought to want me?”
Her voice was stuck in her throat; all she could do was laugh breathlessly. “I guess I don’t.” His lips were inches from hers, and she could smell the coffee on his breath, as well as something light and fresh, like baking soda.
“Well, how much do you want me?” Jason asked, his tone light and teasing.
Kate wanted to answer, but she couldn’t find the words. Instead, she looked at his eyes---beautiful and sparkling and ever changing---and pressed her face forward to close the space between them. His lips pressed against hers softly at first, then as urgently as she’d ever been kissed before. She gasped as his hand plunged into her hair, and she threw her arms around his neck to pull him closer. His other arm locked around her back, pulling her against his body as he fell on top of her, moaning softly in her kiss.
All the desire in her body had come alive as soon as their lips touched, and she could tell it was the same with him---his hands were moving frantically up and down the silky material of her shift as he ground his hips into hers. Kate spread her legs, letting his weight nestle against her throbbing clit and bucking her own hips against his erection. Pleasure was burning her body up even as desire was dousing the flames, and she thought deliriously, I could kiss him like this forever. She felt her juices coat her thighs as Jason started to kiss the soft skin of her neck.
A loud knock boomed through the house, and Jason sprang back so quickly she thought she’d hurt him at first. Kate gasped when she saw his eyes were both a solid golden brown---the exact shade as the eyes on some of the poster drawings had been. Suddenly she knew where else she’d seen the color.
“Damn,” Jason said, and the grief in his voice was almost tangible. “I forgot I might get called to sub for somebody.”
“What?” Kate asked blankly. She was frustrated at being stopped so suddenly, and reached for his head again to pull him back, but he slipped away before her fingers could touch him again. “What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry,” Jason said miserably as he pulled his shirtsleeves down and straightened his wavy head of hair. “My pal Edgar got sick and said he might need me to do a show a few towns over if he got sick. I might be gone a bit, but I’ll be back by late tonight.”
“Tonight?” Kate stood, letting the sheets fall away from her voluptuous body. Jason’s eyes were pulled downward immediately, and she saw lust consume his eyes as he took in the generous swell of her breasts against the sheer white of her slip, and her soft, thick thighs through the slit in the fabric. For the first time in a long time, she let herself be aware of the pull her body had over a man, and thrust her breasts toward him. “I need you tonight.” she said softly, holding her hand out toward him. She saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, and she thought she had won---then he closed his eyes and took a step back.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t even think you know it, but you’re closer than anyone’s been to making me lose control of myself.” His hands were bunched at his sides, and he spoke to her through gritted teeth. “I knew we’d have chemistry, but this…” he chuckled and shook his head as he turned toward the door. “I’ll see you tonight, Katherine.”
“Kate,” she called breathlessly. “Call me Kate.”
Jason stopped and turned back, turning his gaze toward her but not meeting her eye. “Okay, Kate,” he said. “I’ll see you tonight. Get some rest.”
He walked out the door before she had a chance to say anything else.
After he left, she was filled with a sense of disbelief. There was no way she had just been grinding her body against her new husband, a cowboy werebear, on the very same day she had met him. And did she really believe the vampire story? She thought back to how she had felt in that moment---drugged, utterly without control of herself; if her train had been too early or even too late, there may have been no one there to stop the porter from steering her into the shack and shutting her away until they were finished. Kate shivered, and looked about the room for something to pull around her; she found Jason’s jacket, but it was far too big for her short frame. She climbed back into bed and pulled the covers around her, letting herself think until her eyes drifted shut. She fell asleep and turned fitfully under the covers, dreaming of being chased by a pale white toad in a top hat.
When she woke up, sunlight was streaming through the lacy white curtains across the window, and she could smell sausage. Kate’s eyes sprang open, and for a moment, she thought she was back in her train car, in the straw bed about to be served her complimentary breakfast. Then she realized the bed was far too soft, and the sheets smelled like lavender and not bleach. Then she sat up, and the rest of the room came into focus: the cherry wood, silky sheets, and smiling man with a freshly shaven face and a tray laden with breakfast food.
“Good morning,” Jason said. “I bet you’re hungry.”
Late smiled as her stomach grumbled and she spied the fluffy eggs and bacon next to the sausage on her plate. “I am.”
They had surprisingly little to talk about regarding their arrangement. As they ate and their small talk deepened, Kate realized the feelings she had developed for him were real—and strengthened incredibly now that she had made contact with him. Kate mused aloud whether it had something to do with him being a bear, and was terribly embarrassed when he laughed, assuming her ignorance had amused him.
“You’re probably right,” he said. “The chemistry between us has a lot to do with how you respond to my energy, and it couldn’t feel this way if we weren’t…compatible.” He smiled gently, and his green eyes were suddenly overrun with heat. He leaned across her tray and kissed her, nipping her lower lip playfully as he pulled away. “I think you’re my mate,” he said. “I honestly had given up on finding one. It’s why I hadn’t settled down. Then the very next woman I meet…” he laughed then, a joyful sound that filled Kate with happiness even while she was choked with dread.
“Jason,” she said slowly. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
He stopped laughing and looked at her curiously. “What is it?”
Kate raised her eyes to his, feeling the prickle of tears behind them already. “When Logan left me, he gave a reason. I didn’t tell you because you never asked, and it never came up naturally, so…”
Jason’s brow wrinkled in concer
n, and he slipped an arm around her shoulder, placing the breakfast tray on the bedside table. “What is it, Katie?”
She smiled; he already was comfortable using her nickname. She felt horrible knowing she was about to destroy their fresh bond. “He left because even though we tried for four years…I could never get pregnant.” Her voice broke, and suddenly she was sobbing into her hands. “I’m barren, Jason. I can’t ever give you children. I can’t be your mate.” Kate covered her face and wailed, finally letting out the grief that had been so quiet all these years. She felt her heart shaking with the force of her sobs, as though it was shedding all the scar tissue it never sloughed away. Then she felt Jason’s arm gather her and pull her close to his body, cradling her close to his chest as her cries slowed and stopped.
“Katie,” he said, kissing the top of her head gently. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. He’s an even bigger idiot than I thought. But this doesn’t change anything. You don’t have to give me children to be my mate.”
She looked up from her place against her chest, too shocked to speak. He smiled at her, his eyes full of love that couldn’t possibly exist. But she felt it, too; she craned her neck upward to kiss him, and as she slipped her arms around his neck and fell back onto the bed again, she felt her heart swell nearly to bursting.
Another knock at the door sent a ripple of anger through Kate, and she cried out in exasperation as Jason pulled away again. “It’s probably the carriage driver who dropped me off, I told him to come by for payment today. Sometimes his wife comes, so it could be her too.” He turned to pull on his jacket and find his money.
