by Ruby Scott
“You are incredibly beautiful Kaitlin.”
I smiled at him and he rested his head back on my chest. No smile could have shown just how happy I was in that moment.
A few seconds later we heard the fridge door open and we jumped up so quick, fumbling around trying to fix ourselves up. I quickly grabbed some packets of chips and walked out to find Jack pouring himself a drink.
“Thought you might be hungry?” I said, holding up the chips.
“Great idea babe.”
We walked back into the lounge room and I tried to look as calm as I possibly could while my insides were going crazy, scared that he might somehow see something that made him realise exactly what I had been doing for the past half an hour.
Thankfully, he was stupid enough that I don’t even think he noticed I was gone at all.
A couple of minutes later Trey walked through the room and Jack’s attention didn’t waver from the movie playing on the television. He was absolutely oblivious. We were safe. I let myself relax into Jack’s arms and I actually enjoyed the rest of the movie.
***
I hadn’t been over to Jack’s in a week and my excitement to see Trey was becoming unbearable. While Jack was in the shower, I walked to Trey’s room to find him. He wasn’t in there so I went downstairs and I finally found him in the study. He didn’t turn around when I entered, I guess he assumed it would just be Jack.
“Hi.” I managed to grab his attention and he spun around, shocked to see me standing in front of him.
“Kaitlin, what are you doing here? Jack is home, he will see you.”
“Don’t you want to see me?”
“Of course, I have been hoping you would come and visit. I had no way of contacting you. But I think you should come back when Jack is not home.”
“It’s okay. He is in the shower.”
“How do you know that?”
He looked at me with sudden shock as if I had just said something strange.
“I was just up there. He literally just jumped in, and he always takes forever in there.”
“Why were you up there?”
He continued to question me and I was beginning to feel quite scared that there was something I was missing.
“Jack and I were hanging out?” I asked cautiously in case what I was saying was still not comprehendible.
“I thought you had broken up with him.”
Alarm bells started ringing in my head and I realised where Trey was going with his conversation.
“No…did Jack tell you that?”
“No, you did.”
“What? When?”
“Last week. Before you…” His voice lowered. “Before we were intimate.”
“Trey, I…I never…I didn’t say that. I wasn’t sure what all this meant. That’s why I’m here now. To talk to you.”
“So have you been with Jack in this last week?”
I looked away suddenly disgusted in myself. He was making me feel horrible and I could feel myself wanting to cry.
“I didn’t want to…but…it’s just…it’s Jack…I couldn’t…” I trailed off unsure what I was trying to explain.
Trey started shaking his hand and rubbing his hands together.
“I can’t believe I did that. I need you to leave.”
“What? Are you upset because I had sex with my boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Then what? What did you think was going to happen?”
“We shouldn’t have let things happen between us. It was stupid and childish.”
My voice started to raise in pitch as my tears started to push against my eyelids.
“No, it wasn’t. I love you Trey.”
The words came out before I knew what was happening and I suddenly felt so vulnerable, so alone.
“No, you don’t. This was all a mistake. You need to leave.”
“Why are you doing this Trey?” I ran to him, pleading and trying to touch him but he stood up, pushing me away.
“Get out Kaitlin.”
“What? No! Don’t do this! Please.”
My tears had a mind of their own now and they were streaming down my cheeks, but Trey wouldn’t even look at me.
“GET OUT!” His voice was so final and so angry.
I whimpered and slowly backed out of the room, feeling more hopeless than Jack had ever made me feel. I couldn’t understand how our conversation had escalated so much. Why was he throwing me away like I was worthless? Why was he being so cruel? I made my way to the powder room underneath the stairway and looked at my reddened distraught face with black streaks of make-up strewn across my cheeks. I stood there watching myself cry for a few moments longer and then slapped water at my face, trying desperately to hide the remnants of my pain.
***
I woke the next morning hoping that I had just dreamt the past twenty-four hours but the longer I lay in my bed, staring at the roof, the more real everything started to feel. It was real; a nightmare that had happened while I was completely awake. I buried my head into my pillow and screamed, trying to relinquish my pain, but my body still stung with agony.
Jack was sitting at the booth in the corner of the café and I walked over to him, struggling to keep putting one heavy foot in front of the other. He slid over for me to hop in. I started to panic as he kissed me on the lips and I knew what I was about to do.
“Someone woke up on the wrong side today.”
He laughed as he picked up the menu without a care if I actually was upset or not.
I readied myself with a deep breath and talked over my conversation in my head.
“Jack, we need to talk.”
He snorted in disgust.
“Oh, chubs you know I hate talking.” He groaned and it might have put me off if he hadn’t insulted me at the same time.
“Don’t call me that!”
“Ooh feisty today.”
“Listen to me Jack. I’m not joking around.”
“Yeah, yeah, hurry up. I’m starving…and…” He looked me up and down. “I guess you are too…”
He laughed at his own stupid joke and my stomach clenched with all of the hate I had built up just for him.
“You can’t treat me like that Jack.”
“Oh Relax Kaitlin. Fuckkk!”
“Jack.”
“Kaitlin.”
“Jack, I don’t…”
“Hold on…” He interrupted. “I need to piss. Hold that thought…or don’t.”
He laughed to himself again as he slid out of the booth without a second thought, and I was left to stew in my frustration.
The table vibrated and I looked over at the screen on Jack’s phone light up. I didn’t care what girl might be messaging him, I wanted Trey’s number. I had no plan to steal it from Jack’s phone or even attempt to talk to Trey again but something came over me in that moment and my adrenalin picked up his phone and scrolled through his phonebook to land on Dad. Dad? Shit, more regret chucked on top of my pile of regret already sitting unsteadily in my stomach. I copied the number into my phone anyway and quickly chucked the phone back onto the table, making sure I exited the programs and locked it so Jack wouldn’t have another thing to spit at me.
Just in time. Jack walked back to the table and picked up the menu.
“So, you decided what you want to eat?” He questioned me, obviously hoping he had saved himself from the talk I wanted to have.
“Jack, I don’t want to be with you anymore.” I shot the words straight out so he couldn’t stop me again.
Jack slowly placed the menu back onto the table and licked his lips. He cracked his neck side to side and then looked up at me in disgust.
“What?”
“We are over Jack.” I said this with less confidence this time as his eyes shot fear and nerves straight through me.
He huffed and smiled at me in disbelief.
“Kaitlin. Kaitlin. Kaitlin. Have I somehow gave you the impression that you can do better than me?”
<
br /> “What?” I was shocked with his spiteful response.
“Whatever. You weren’t my favourite one anyway. Off you go. See ya. Adios.”
He childishly waved in my face like you would wave to a baby. And what did he mean by saying I wasn’t his ‘favourite one’? Well I knew exactly what he meant, but wow, the nerve of him. He does not take rejection well. I stood up and walked away without another word and I saw him pick up the menu again, pretending not to care that he had just been dumped.
I surprisingly felt a weight being lifted off of me and I could breathe again. And despite everything Jack had said and done to me, I felt my confidence finding its way back into my body with every step I took away from him. I smiled to myself and drove away.
***
I sat on my bed in my room and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. I felt so free. I felt like the world was set out in front of me and I could take whatever road I desired. I pulled out my phone and stared at Trey’s number in front of me. Should I delete it or do I speak to him again? I sat it down next to me and I spread myself out on the soft blanket beneath me. I picked my phone back up and looked at the phone number again. I had to talk to him.
The phone rang and my heart started beating faster with every ring that he didn’t pick up, and then there it was—his thick, manly voice speaking into the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Hi.”
“Hello?”
I had assumed he would have recognised my voice but that was incredibly hopeful when I had said one of the shortest words in the dictionary, and he had no idea I had his phone number.
“It’s Kaitlin.”
I heard him shift on the other side of the phone.
“Kaitlin?”
“Kaitlin Williams.”
How could he not know who I was now?
“Yes I know. Sorry.”
“How are you?”
Damn, I’d began with small talk.
“How did you get my number?”
And he stopped it.
However now, I kind of wished we had taken my direction. He sounded angry and I felt the familiar feeling of hurt pinch back at my mending heart. I decided to ignore his question, my answer would have only sounded like I was some sort of crazy stalker and I wasn’t in the mood to explore that conversation with him.
“I broke up with Jack.”
I heard him sigh.
“What do you want?”
His anger pierced straight through me and I couldn’t find any word to respond.
“You didn’t do this for me did you?”
His voice had softened and he sounded concerned.
“I did it for me.”
This was somewhat true. Trey had inspired the action, but I definitely knew that it would benefit me.
“Good.”
An awkward silence.
“Can I see you?” I asked hesitantly, scared to actually hear his response, not wanting to be thrown to the side by him once again.
“Ah…Kaitlin.” He struggled with his words. “I really don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“Why not?” I insisted.
“Jack’s my son.”
“He was the other day too.”
My pain momentarily got the best of me and I immediately felt guilty for throwing this comment at him.
“Kaitlin. I care about you a lot but I love my son and I should not have let you kiss me.”
“Let me?”
“Sorry. Wrong choice of words. I’m not blaming you.”
“Don’t you love me?”
“We are friends Kaitlin.”
The words stung me and I was furious.
“So you used me?”
“No, no not at all.”
“Then what?”
“I care about you, Kaitlin. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. You know why I can’t.”
“You’re treating me like a child Trey. I know I may be half your age but that definitely didn’t bother you a week ago and you definitely didn’t treat me like I was a child then. So be honest with yourself right now.”
“I know, I am sorry. I shouldn’t treat you this way. I promise I don’t think of you like that.”
“Are you just going to apologise about everything and agree with me? Take ownership of your feelings. I know you felt something for me, more than a friendship. And I know it started long before we were lying on the floor of that kitchen pantry.”
I was shocked at my own confidence and forwardness.
“Can I meet you tomorrow afternoon?”
“Do you actually want to see me or are you just trying to get me off the phone?”
“I want to see you, Kaitlin.”
I knew he was just trying to appease me but I was quite worn out too, so I let him.
“Where?”
“I’ll message you.”
“Okay, bye.”
I hung up before he could say bye back, trying to hold some of the power I originally thought I had. Now I was beginning to doubt it all, though. Maybe he had used me. Maybe I had forced him and like all men, his dick did the talking for him. Maybe he didn’t love me at all. It was all so overwhelming and I started to wish I had never called him in the first place.
***
CAFÉ FRENCH 2pm.
MY PARENTS AREN’T HOME. 122 2ND STREET.
Trey sat on the chair in my room while I sat cross-legged on my bed, waiting for him to initiate the conversation. He rubbed his hands nervously on his thighs and I was somewhat relieved that he was as scared as I was. Trey stood up and walked up to my bed, sitting himself beside me. He looked into my eyes.
“I want this Kaitlin.”
Before I could make sense of what exactly he wanted, he showed me. He slowly placed his lips on mine and he increased the pressure once he knew I wasn’t pushing him away. He slid his hands over my thighs and he furthered his tongue into my mouth as I beckoned him to take me. He carefully lowered me backwards and he lay up against my side as we kissed longer and harder than before. Trey’s arm slid around my waist under my shirt and his bare skin excited me. His hairs tickled my flesh and I wriggled beneath his touch. He slid his hand to the top of my pants and played with the skin teasingly. I angled my pelvis up towards him, pleading with him to go further. Trey pushed his hand inside my pants and grabbed onto my thick thighs. His kisses became more passionate and I became more eager to feel him inside of me. His hands felt my pink lips between my legs and I slowly spread my thighs apart to welcome his touch. He tickled the outside fervently, spreading my wetness, and then he delved in, readying me for what I hoped was coming next. He bit down on my lip as he moved his fingers deeper inside of me and then moved out and around the outer layers, knowing exactly how to please me. I whimpered and jerked my body due to the exploding sensations pulsating through me.
I hesitantly pulled away from his lips and gently lowered my pants until I could flick them off the end of the bed with my feet. Trey kneeled above me and I watched as he revealed his solid chest and abs underneath his t-shirt. He kept his eyes on mine but I couldn’t keep mine on his. My eyes had a mind of their own and ate up his muscular body as he then took his pants off. His hard penis stood right in front of me and I couldn’t wait to feel it inside of me. I quickly peeled off my top and bra and pulled Trey back down on top of me. I felt his every muscle against my naked skin and I fought my urges to burst right then and there. I pulled his hardness between my legs and he pushed the tip in, circling it over my lips. I arched my pelvis into him again, confirming that I wanted him deep inside, and he thrusted his pelvis into me. I held on to him and he rolled us over so I was now in control, sitting on top of him. I tried to lie against him but he held me up.
“I want to see you Kaitlin. All of you.” He panted and I moved on top of him letting him watch my breasts bounce.
I leaned back on my hands so my stomach stretched out flat and he groaned as I pushed him inside me deeper and harder. He grabbed at my hips, clin
ging to them and pulling me harder against him. I sat back up straight and I pulled his hands away from me, as I slowed my rhythms. He looked at me confused but excited and I slowly planted his hands above his head.
“Stay there.” I commanded and he nodded.
I started moving again and I slowly pressed my hands against my breasts, rubbing at them and moaning. I felt trey’s hands force themselves back onto me and I opened my eyes, stopping my movements again. I pushed his arms away and back down onto the bed.
