by Cate Beauman
Jeremy would love it, but she’d hesitated to bring him. Why?
Hailey took a deep breath of sea air, trying to dismiss the nagging thoughts that kept sneaking into her bubble of serenity. Small pieces of her conversation with Austin continued to pop into her mind. Why had Austin questioned Jeremy’s work schedule? Why did the seed of doubt he’d planted seem so ready to bloom?
Shame weighed heavy in her stomach. After changing into her bathing suit, she’d barely been able to resist the urge to confirm Yoshoris’ business hours. Jeremy deserved more trust, more faith. If she wouldn’t give him that, who would?
She fiddled with her fingers, sick with guilt. At moments like this she couldn’t suppress the mixed feelings of having her brother back in her life. For years she’d searched for him, longed for him, aching for the special bond they used to share. Now he was here, and at times it tore her apart.
Having him back forced her to dig up the past. She’d buried the pain years before, finding a way to move on and be happy. In the eight weeks since he’d returned, she found herself remembering things she wanted to forget, found herself questioning who she was.
It frustrated her that she seemed more focused on the negative than the blessing of having him with her again. Perhaps that was why she was growing more resentful of everyone’s inquiries into Jeremy. Each time they asked about him or hinted something might not be quite right, she wondered. Didn’t that make her ungrateful? Was she a hypocrite?
Her mind kept wandering to the last time Jeremy popped into her life two years before. At eighteen, he’d come straight from a short stint in a jail cell, promising her he wanted a fresh start, that he was ready to change. He was ready to go back to school, but needed a place to stay and some money to get started. She’d withdrawn two thousand dollars from her meager education fund to help with his legal fees and court costs, had given it to him without question, proud that he wanted to turn his life around. She had woken the next morning to a quick note telling her that something had come up, but he would pay her back.
She never told Sarah, and made excuses for taking the semester off; she hadn’t been able to pay for the classes she’d planned to take, putting her almost a year behind. Hailey remembered being furious, but under the embers of frustration and anger had been a deep well of guilt. If she could’ve stayed with him all those years before, if she hadn’t left him, he wouldn’t be where he was. Their parents had died and she’d abandoned him the same night. He’d been so small, so scared, and she left without a fight.
Hailey stood and walked to the rail, holding on, letting the cool wind rush across her face. She needed to believe that the sweet parts of Jeremy she’d loved so much as a child were still there, that he really wanted a better life than the one he’d led over the last several years. If he vanished again, she couldn’t be sure she would help the next time he came around, and wouldn’t that be like abandoning him all over? She pressed her fingers to her temple, let out a long breath as she turned, and flinched. Austin stood in front of her. “I didn’t hear you come out.”
“You seemed lost in your thoughts.”
She was, but she wanted to forget them. “I guess I was.” She tried not to stare at Austin’s magnificent body. His broad, chiseled chest and powerful arms sent her heart racing. Her fingers ached to touch him. She made the mistake of glancing at navy blue swim trunks, a tad too tight for his athletic build. In defense she focused her gaze on his stellar face, her eyes refusing to leave his. Man, why did he affect her like this every single time? Instead of standing there drooling, she walked to the water. “You wanna get started?”
“Yeah, sure.” He dove in, surfaced almost immediately.
She pulled her top over her head and tugged her pants off. Goosebumps puckered her skin from the cool breeze blowing from the cliffs. “Holy cow, it’s cold.”
Austin treaded water lazily. “It’s perfect in here. Come on in.”
Hailey jumped in and was instantly enveloped in warmth. She pushed off the bottom, surfacing a foot from Austin. “You’re right, it’s perfect.” Smiling, she tipped her head back, slicking the hair away from her face, catching a glimpse of stars. “So, how do we practice scuba diving or snorkeling without any equipment?”
“There are things I need to know you can do before we get to the equipment. You need to show me you have good, basic swimming skills, that you can hold your breath for a reasonable amount of time. What do you want to start with, a few laps or underwater exercises?”
She was suddenly nervous, knowing Austin would be scrutinizing her every move. “Uh, underwater exercises.”
“All right. Let’s focus on swimming to the bottom a few times, see how long you can hold your breath.”
“I can’t hold it very long.”
“You’ll be surprised how long you can stay under when you’re relaxed. Let’s try.” He took a breath and somersaulted, making his way to the bottom with effortless movements. Before Hailey could blink, Austin sat against the blue and white tiles, Indian-style, moving his arms with smooth, graceful motions. She was swimming with the next thing to a mythical sea god, and she sure as heck wasn’t a mermaid.
Hailey took a breath and swam to the bottom, much less gracefully than Austin. She crisscrossed her legs like he did, but started to rise. He pressed his hand to her shoulder, keeping her in place. Hailey felt her need for a breath but fought against it. Lungs screaming for air, she pushed off the tile, gulping in the sea breeze as soon as she broke the surface. The cool night was like a shock to her skin as she grabbed hold of the side of the pool.
Austin surfaced next to her.
“I didn’t stay under very long.” She was already discouraged, and they’d just begun. The water had always called to her, but that didn’t mean she was any good in it.
“That’s because you’re not relaxed.”
“No, I’m not. I’m wasting your time. I’ve wanted to learn to do this for as long as I can remember, but the truth of the matter is, I’m not very good in the water.” Why am I acting like this? Why am I so tense and serious? This is supposed to be fun.
“I’m a farm boy from Iowa. Do you think I was a natural when I joined the Navy? I worked my butt off to get good. Luckily, you won’t have to try as hard as I did. Just relax, Hailey.” He touched her shoulders and she did the opposite of relax when a sizzle of molten heat engulfed her skin.
She nodded, trying to appear as unaffected as Austin. This would never work if she fed into his belief that she was a giggling, foolish child.
His fingers kneaded her tensed muscles. “Close your eyes and breathe.”
She stared into the dark green depths of his eyes, hypnotized, before her lids fluttered closed. Her breath shuddered out once before she fought to control it.
“There you go. Now, keep that up. In slow, out slow.”
Austin’s knee kept brushing her thigh as he kicked to stay afloat. His magic fingers continued to press against her skin, turning her muscles to mush. His deep voice soothed and her lips tingled with an ache to feel his mouth against hers.
“Take a breath, hold it. Keep your eyes closed.”
She did what he said, feeling the solid wall of his chest press against her breasts as he wrapped his arm around her waist and took them under. Her feet touched the bottom, but he tugged until she knelt on the pool floor. She was anchored against him, thigh-to-thigh, stomach-to-stomach, as he continued to hold her tight.
Hailey no longer focused on taking her next breath as Austin’s hard, smooth body fit snug to hers. She placed her hands on his waist, skimming slippery, firm skin, until her palms rested on his hips. The current from his muscled arm moving, planting them to their spot, brushed against her cheek.
The urge for air crept back again. Hailey moved, trying to break free of Austin’s hold, but he held her still. She opened he
r eyes, meeting the dark green of his as he stared into hers, his face an inch away as he kicked, bringing them to the surface.
Hailey expected him to let her go as they breathed in each other’s breaths along with the cool night air, but he continued to hold her, smiling. “You did it.”
“Huh?” She couldn’t break away from his gaze.
“Thirty seconds. Good stuff, Hailey.”
“Thirty seconds?” And then it registered. She’d stayed under water for thirty seconds. The most she’d ever been able to accomplish before she panicked was fifteen. “I made thirty seconds?” She beamed. “Not bad.”
“Not bad at all, kid.”
The smile froze on her face before it vanished. They were back to kid. She’d all but disintegrated into a puddle of sexual mush, and he was once again unfazed. “Thanks,” she said with less enthusiasm.
He let her go and swam to the edge. “Why don’t we get a few laps in before we call it a night? Remind me to write down the name and address of a good dive shop to check out. Miranda can hook you up with everything you’ll need.”
She could’ve sworn she saw desire in his eyes on their ascent. Had she imagined it in her oxygen-depleted state? Apparently so. Hailey let out a long breath. “Yeah, sounds good.” She swam to the side, feeling like a fool.
Chapter 5
HAILEY SAT UP IN BED, bleary-eyed, exhausted. She’d tossed and turned all night. Between her Jeremy dilemma and the constant replay of her pool time with Austin, she’d barely caught a decent hour of sleep. Her stress level was at an all time high; her hormones raged. She was miserable. She pulled her covers back, swung her feet over the edge of the bed, almost stepping on Bear and Reece. “Oops. Sorry, boys.”
They stretched, yawned, and stood in unison.
“Guys, I’m not gonna lie. That’s a little weird. Do you want to go outside?” Tails wagged as Bear and Reece dashed through the bedroom door. “I’m taking that as a yes.”
Hailey got to her feet and wandered downstairs to the noisy commotion of two excited dogs. “I’m coming. I’m coming.” She opened the door and they ran out like a shot. “And they’re off.” She watched them water the trees and bushes around the plush front yard before they lay in the grass and rolled about. “I’ll leave you to it, men.”
She went to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl from the cupboard, a box of cereal from the pantry, and milk from the refrigerator. As she took her first bite of Cheerios, she passed a glance over her phone before she looked at the clock—nine thirty. Jeremy would be up and around she assured herself, as she retrieved his number and pressed ‘send’. She wanted to know how he was feeling, to confirm he’d gone to work, but, ultimately, she needed to extinguish the doubt Austin had planted the night before.
“Yeah?” Jeremy said groggily.
“Hey, how’s the face today?”
“Rosa?”
Hailey frowned. Rosa? Who the heck was Rosa? “It’s Hailey. You know, your big sister?”
“Sorry. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to check in, see how you were doing. How’s the lip and ribs?”
“Still pretty sore, but getting better.”
“I’m glad you’re on the mend. Are you working this afternoon?”
“Tonight.”
“Maybe I’ll stop in and visit.”
“No—that’s not a good idea.”
She heard the trace of hurried panic before he smoothed himself out. Her stomach sank as the seed of uncertainty grew another sprout. “Why? I want to see my little brother in action.”
“I’d get all flustered knowing you were watching me. It would mess with my flow. Besides, it’ll be impossible to get a reservation for tonight. They book up fast.”
Jeremy loved to be the center of attention—since when did he worry about his “flow”? Hailey closed her eyes, swallowing hard against disappointment. “All right. Maybe some other time.”
“I’ve gotta go, Hailey.”
“What’s your favorite dish on the menu?” She couldn’t let this go. She wanted Jeremy to convince her Austin was wrong. She needed to know her brother hadn’t been lying to her for almost two months.
“Huh?”
“I asked you what your favorite dish is.”
There was a long pause before he sighed. “The steak’s good.”
“The steak? How do they prepare it?” She pushed now that she didn’t believe him.
“What do you mean how do they prepare it? It’s a steak,” he snapped. “They cook it like they cook a steak. What the hell is this?”
“Nothing.” She pressed her lips firm as she rubbed her fingers against her temple. “Nothing. I’ll let you go.”
“Are you coming home today?”
She continued to knead at the throbbing in her head. “I’m not sure. Why?”
“No reason. I was just wondering.”
“It’ll depend on my errands.”
“Okay. Talk to you later.”
“Yeah, later.” She hung up and shoved her cereal bowl away, feeling sick. Jeremy was lying; she couldn’t deny it any longer. She picked up the phone again, found the number for Yoshoris.
“Thank you for calling Yoshoris. Can I help you?”
“Yes, I hope so.”
“I’ll do my best,” the gentle female voice said.
“First, do you serve lunch?”
“I’m afraid we don’t, but I’d be happy to book you a reservation for this evening.”
Hailey stared at the silver spoon glinting in the sunshine as the woman confirmed what Austin told her.
“I’ll have to call my friends and find out what they want to do.”
“Okay. Will that be all?”
She no longer needed to ask, but made herself anyway. “No. If we do decide to come in this evening, can we request Jeremy for our waiter?”
“Jeremy?”
“Yes, Jeremy Kagan.”
“I’m sorry, we don’t have a Jeremy Kagan working here. How odd. You’re the second person to ask for him.”
She stopped tracing frantic patterns on Kylee’s Sesame Street placemat. “I’m sorry, did you say someone else has been looking for Jeremy?”
“Yes, just yesterday. A man came to the door, showed me some badge of sorts, and asked if he could speak to Jeremy Kagan.”
“Was he a police officer?” She cringed.
“No, he was a bodyguard, I believe. Or at least that’s what his identification said.”
“Could you describe him?” Although Hailey was sure she already knew.
“Um, tall, muscular, brown hair—handsome.”
“Green eyes?”
“Why, yes, now that you say that, I do remember his eyes being green—very dark. Striking.”
“Thank you for your time. I’ll get back to you with our reservation.”
Hailey set down her cell, continuing to stare at the spoon as she dealt with the shock of her short phone call. Not only had Jeremy lied to her, but surprisingly, Austin had too. It hurt her more that Austin hadn’t shared the truth. She’d come to expect Jeremy’s constant pattern of deception, but Austin…Why hadn’t he told her he didn’t believe Jeremy worked at Yoshoris? Better yet, why had he taken the time to find out?
Standing, confused, ill, Hailey filled Bear and Reece’s food and water dishes before she left the kitchen, leaving her mess where she’d made it. Both Austin and Jeremy had some explaining to do.
An hour later, Hailey stormed through her front door. Jeremy sat on the couch in his boxers with a bag of doughnuts and a glass of OJ, watching Jerry Springer.
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t pack your bags and throw you out on the street.”
Jeremy stood, wincing, holding his ribs.
“You lied to me, Jeremy.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I called Yoshoris after we hung up. They’ve never heard of you. Explain—and it better be good.”
He sat back down, put his head in his hands. “When’re you gonna stop checking up on me?”
“When are you going to grow up and stop lying about every darn thing?”
“I didn’t want you to be disappointed that I haven’t found a job yet, so I made it up.”
She steamed out a breath, walked to the door and back again, trying to get a grip on her nonexistent patience. “Where are you getting the money?”
He didn’t answer.
She marched over to the couch, loomed over his hunched form, struggling not to shout. “I asked you where you were getting your money. If you’re mixed up with drugs, Jeremy, I’ll never forgive you.”
His gaze snapped to hers, his eyes full of wounded shock. “Sissy, how could you think that? Why would you throw my past in my face? I know I had some trouble before, but that was a long time ago. How can I forget if you won’t? Don’t I get an opportunity to change? Or am I going to pay for the same mistakes over and over?”
Guilt swamped her as he stood and hobbled toward his room. Lying about a job was a long way from selling pot. Hailey stared at the ceiling, trying to regroup. “Look, I’m sorry. Just tell me where you got the money for your fancy car and your half of the bills and I’ll drop it.”
He turned to face her. “I’ve been doing some odd jobs here and there under the table, but nothing illegal. I didn’t want to tell you that I don’t have a full-time job yet; it’s embarrassing. I didn’t want to let you down again. I’m on the straight and narrow. I don’t know how else to tell you to make you believe me.”
