by Cate Beauman
Breathing deeply, Hailey squared her shoulders. This was the perfect opportunity to practice being unaffected. Raising her chin, determined, she moved to the island. “You never fail to surprise me.”
He turned, wiping his big hands on the dishcloth. “I wasn’t going to let you clean up. It’s your birthday.”
She smiled. “I certainly won’t forget this one, that’s for sure—a surprise party, amazing gifts, and a new baby all in one night. I couldn’t ask for more.”
He smiled back. “Sounds pretty perfect—except for one thing.”
Hailey shook her head, unable to think of anything they’d missed. “What?”
“You never got to your cake. You have to make a wish and blow out the candles. It’s part of the whole birthday deal. You don’t want to start off the big two-five on the wrong foot.”
“I can wait.” Hailey didn’t mention that until she met Sarah, she’d gone years without making wishes and blowing out candles, and she’d done all right.
“No, you can’t.” He took her hand, pulled her into the dining room. Dim light from the kitchen threw the dark room in shadows. Austin picked up the lighter, bringing the flame to life. The bright flicker cast his skin in gold light, illuminating his dark green eyes…his straight white teeth as he gave her a slow smile.
Oh, lord, he was breathtaking in candlelight. Her stomach churning, Hailey gripped the chair in front of her as Austin touched the flame to each wick and began to sing. His smooth tenor’s voice surprised her, sending skitters along her skin, giving her goose bumps.
With the candles lit, he set the lighter down and finished singing. “Happy birthday, Hailey. Make a wish.”
Her mind went blank. She was supposed to make a wish, but everything she wanted stood across from her, staring into her eyes.
“Did you make your wish?”
“Uh…”
“Your cake’s about to go up in flames.”
Breaking free from her trance, she looked down. The candles were burnt to the bold blue frosting. “Crap.” She huffed out several breaths until the room went dark and a small cloud of smoke surrounded them. Hailey moved her arm about, waiting for the smell of melted wax to dissipate. “Do you want a piece?”
“Of course. This looks amazing.”
“It really does.” She pulled the stubs from rich vanilla frosting and licked her finger. “Mmm, good.”
“Let me get us some milk. We can’t eat cake without milk.”
“So true.” Hailey cut a huge slice of sinful chocolate cake, layered with a rich ganache center. “This is going to be heaven.” She cut another smaller piece for herself, turned with both plates, and smacked into Austin. The plates collapsed against her shirt. She gasped as ice cold milk sloshed forward, spilling over her front, adding to the mess.
“Shit. Shit. I’m sorry, Hailey.”
Hailey stared at the heaps of chocolate and frosting, at the stream of milk puddling on the wooden floor.
Austin set the nearly empty glasses on the table, then pressed the plates against Hailey’s abdomen as he pulled her forward. “Let’s get into the kitchen before we make this worse.”
“I’m not sure it could be worse.” She smiled sheepishly. Why? Why, did this stuff happen to her?
“A situation can always be worse. I wasn’t carrying coffee, right?”
She chuckled. “You’ve got me there.”
They stepped on cool marble tile, stopping by the sink. Hailey pulled the dishes away and more cake fell with a splat. She laughed, unable to help herself. “This has been some night.”
“I’d say. You have to take off your shirt.” Austin pulled his sweatshirt over his head. “You can put this on after you get that off.” The Under Armor he wore underneath molded against his solid chest and chiseled abs. “Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
Austin turned as Hailey tried to pull off her top carefully. She removed her arms from the sleeves first, attempting to free her head without wearing any more cake than she already did. The flimsy cotton caught on her nose as she tugged her shirt up and over. Cold milk and sticky sweets left a trail over her stomach, chest and face. “Darn it.”
“What’s wrong?” Austin said, his back still to her.
“What isn’t is a better question.” She threw her soiled shirt in the sink, grabbed at her hair with chocolaty fingers. Ganache and crumbs matted her brown locks. Hailey stared at her chest, her stomach, realizing streaks of blue dyed frosting and soggy chocolate stuck to her skin.
Her most memorable birthday was becoming more unforgettable by the second. She couldn’t put Austin’s white sweatshirt on without staining it, and she refused to walk through Sarah and Ethan’s gorgeous house dripping goo everywhere. “This is unbelievable.”
“What’s going on?” Austin turned, his eyes growing wide as he let out a snort of laughter. “Good God, Hailey. Look at you.”
She glanced at the mess again, trying to hold onto dignity in her black bra and chocolate crumbs.
“It’s everywhere. You kind of look like a raccoon,” Austin said, strangling on suppressed laughter. “You have frosting all over your nose, all over your cheeks.” He pointed, losing his composure on a burst of laughter.
Turning, Hailey stared at herself in the reflection of the microwave, horrified. She did look like a raccoon, and Austin was still struggling to control his mirth with a phony cough. Hailey turned back as Austin coughed on a chuckle again. Before she thought it through, she stepped over, wiped her filthy hands on his cheeks. “There. We’re both raccoons.”
“Hey.” He grabbed her wrists, trapping her palms against his face.
She beamed. “Now you look as foolish as I do.”
“I’m not sure that’s possible.” Grinning, he let go of her, then ran a strand of her matted hair through his fingers. His smile disappeared as he stared in her eyes.
As his breath warmed her lips, she saw it: his desire unmistakable. Screw her vow to get over him. What she’d always yearned for was right here. Her heart stuttering, Hailey moved in, closed her eyes.
“Uh, Hailey…“ Austin eased back. “What’re you doing? We can’t do this.”
Blinking her eyes open, she stared.
He stepped away completely. “Let’s keep it simple, keep things friends.”
She still stared, too confused to be horrified, yet… What just happened? He’d wanted her. She saw it.
Austin stepped forward again. “Friends, right?” he said gently.
Hailey’s cheeks burned bright as she struggled to keep tears of humiliation in check. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Suddenly cold, she looked down at herself, realizing she was still half naked. She pulled her dirty shirt from the sink, yanked it over her head, no longer caring that the milky, chocolaty mess felt like ice against her skin.
Stomach churning, Hailey turned on the hot tap, ran a sponge under the molten water, barely registering the painful heat. How was she going to turn around and look at him? How could she have been so wrong? Why hadn’t she just stuck with the plan?
Granted, she hadn’t dated much and didn’t have a lot of experience with men, but how did she mistake Austin’s signals so severely? She now knew, in no uncertain terms, that Austin was not interested, not even slightly, not even a little bit.
A good man will never want the likes of you, Hailey Roberts. Your pretty face and pretty body are a sin. You’re trash, nothing but a whore like that sinning woman who made you. Mother Frazier’s stinging words raced through her mind, as they had frequently over the last two months. She tried to remind herself that they weren’t true.
Shaken to her core, Hailey eased the water off, wrung out the sponge, braced herself before she faced Austin again.
He leaned against the fridge, staring at her. “
I’m sorry if I’ve—“
“Please don’t apologize.” She scrubbed at the sticky fingerprints on the marbled countertops, unable to meet his eyes. “If anyone should apologize, it’s me.” Why wouldn’t he leave?
“I’m just not in a place right now—“
“You don’t have to explain, Austin.” She scrubbed harder, until her arm ached. “You’re not interested. I get it.” God, this was beyond mortifying.
The phone rang and she hurried to answer. “Hello.”
“Hailey, she’s here. All six pounds, seven ounces of beautiful baby.”
Hailey’s eyes misted as pride lightened Ethan’s voice. “Congratulations, Dad.”
Emma let out a wail of protest in the background and Sarah laughed. “Sounds like everyone’s perfect. Can we visit in the morning?”
“You better. We want Kylee to meet her new sister. She’s so beautiful,” Ethan repeated.
“Give Sarah a hug for me and kiss Emma. I can’t wait to hold her.”
“All right. See you in the morning.”
Hailey hung up. “Emma’s here.”
“Yeah.” Austin rubbed a hand over his chin, then picked up the sponge she’d dropped.
If he thought he was staying to help clean and drag out her agony, he could think again. “It’s pretty late. I’ll get this. Go ahead and grab a piece of cake. I’ll wrap it for you to take with you.”
“Are you kicking me out, Hailey?”
“No. I’m giving us both an out from a very awkward situation.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“But it is.”
“Hailey—“
He was trying to be nice, trying to keep her from having hurt feelings. She turned back to the sink, afraid she would humiliate herself further with tears. “Austin, please go. It’s been a long day, and I want to go to bed.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.” She clutched at the counter.
“Good night, then.”
She closed her eyes. “Good night.”
Austin’s footsteps disappeared down the hall.
Hailey held Kylee’s hand and carried the gift bag in the other as they walked to the nurse’s station. “Remember what we talked about—nice and quiet. Lots of babies are trying to sleep.”
“I be quiet.”
She picked Kylee up as they approached the front desk, waiting for the nurse’s acknowledgement.
The harried woman glanced up from a chart. “Good morning, can I help you?”
“Yes. We’re here to see Sarah and Ethan Cooke. They had a baby girl last night.”
The nurse looked back at the big duty board hanging on the wall. “Room 321. Down the hall and to the right.”
“Thank you.” Hailey smoothed a strand of blonde behind Kylee’s ear. “Are you ready to meet Emma?”
“Yes!” She beamed, clapping.
“Me too.” Hailey smiled, brushed her nose with Kylee’s—eskimo-style—and started down the hall. When they stopped at room 321, Kylee bunched her knuckles. “I knock.”
“Okay.”
Kylee banged her small fist on the door, hardly making a sound.
Ethan pulled the door open, grinning. “Hi, big sister.”
Kylee held out her arms. “Hi, daddy.”
Ethan took Kylee, kissed the top of her head. “I missed you last night. Are you ready to meet your baby?”
“Yes. We bought her a present.”
Ethan glanced at the gift bag Hailey still held. “That was very nice.” He snuggled Kylee on the bed next to Sarah and Emma.
Sarah wrapped her arm around Kylee as Emma suckled greedily at her mother’s breast. “Hi, sweetheart, I missed you this morning.”
“I missed you too.” Kylee moved her head, trying to peek at her new sister. “She’s very small.”
“Yes, she is. We have to be gentle. Do you want to hold her?”
Kylee’s eyes brightened. “I will be careful.”
“Oh, I know you will.” Sarah broke Emma’s latch and covered her breast. She placed Emma in Kylee’s eager arms.
Kylee stared at Emma, grinning, as Emma suckled in her sleep. “You are my baby.” Kylee kissed her sister’s forehead and Hailey sighed. How was she going to leave her girls for three whole months?
“I have to get a picture. I’ll look at it every day while I’m away.” Hailey set the gift bag down and dug in her purse for her small digital camera. “Kylee, look at me and smile.”
Kylee did as she was told and Hailey captured the moment. “Sarah, Ethan, I want one with all of you.”
Ethan moved to the side, flanking his daughters as Sarah did the same. “Big smiles.” Hailey snapped another picture, studied the screen. The perfect family: two stunning, loving parents and their beautiful little girls. Hailey felt a tug of envy as she powered off the camera. “I’m so happy for you.”
Emma began to fuss, and Kylee gasped. “I was gentle.”
Sarah took Emma from Kylee. “Yes you were. Emma’s telling us she wants to eat some more.”
Ethan scooped Kylee up. “I think the big sister and I should get something to eat. I bet we could find you a doughnut.”
“Ooh, a doughnut. I want a doughnut.”
Ethan smiled as he looked at Sarah. “One doughnut isn’t going to kill her, Sarah. We’ll be back later.” He pulled the door open and they left.
“I can’t tell you how many times he’s said that.” Sarah grinned as she shook her head.
“I’m pretty sure I’ve heard the same thing a few times myself.” Hailey gave Sarah a hug. “Congratulations.” She sat on the edge of the bed next to her, staring at sweet-faced Emma. “She’s beautiful.”
“Do you want to hold her?”
“Of course. I hardly slept last night; I was so excited.” She left out the part about tossing and turning every time she thought of her disastrous situation with Austin.
Sarah handed Emma over.
Hailey brushed her fingers over soft skin, breathing in the scent of baby powder as she snuggled Emma close. She played with the black peach fuzz on Emma’s head. “She has her daddy’s hair color.”
“For now. We’ll see if it stays that way.”
As Hailey stared at the pretty baby, doubts took over. What if going to Mexico was a mistake? What if Sarah and Ethan needed her help? How was she going to deal with Austin? Each time they saw each other it was bound to be awkward.
“Hailey, what’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “Nothing.”
“I don’t believe that for a minute. I could tell something was bothering you the minute you entered the room.”
She skimmed Emma’s curled fist. “I guess I’m having second thoughts about Mexico. I’ll be gone for such a long time. What if you need my help with the girls? Ethan’s busier than ever.”
Sarah wrapped an arm around Hailey’s shoulders. “We’re going to miss you so much, but I want you to go. I want you to do this. What an opportunity. You spend so much time taking care of everyone else. I want you to take care of Hailey for a change. Just think, twelve free semester hours. You’re so close to finishing school.”
“I know.” But school wasn’t what she wanted. Completing her degree was necessary, but what she dreamed of was a family of her own. She yearned for babies to treasure and love, a husband who would stand with her and build something lasting and strong.
“I thought you really wanted this. What’s going on?”
She nuzzled Emma’s warm, smooth forehead against her cheek as she prepared to confess all to Sarah. “I—“
The door opened and Morgan popped her head in. “Am I interrupting?”
Sarah smiled. “No, come on in.”
Morgan walked over, joining Hailey and Sarah by the bed. “I can’t get enough of that beautiful face. She’s perfect.”
“Do you want a turn?” Hailey held Emma out to her.
“If I must.” Morgan took Emma and smiled.
Sarah pushed over. “Have a seat. Hailey was just about to tell me why she doesn’t want to go to Mexico anymore.”
Morgan’s gaze snapped to Hailey’s. “You don’t want to go? I thought you were excited.”
Hailey shrugged. “I was. I am. I was.” She huffed out a breath. “I made a complete idiot out of myself last night.” Blushing, she covered her face with her hands. “Just thinking of it makes me cringe. I’m such a moron.” She peeked through her fingers.
Sarah’s brow shot up. “Are you going to tell us or keep us in suspense?”
“I tried to kiss Austin, and he didn’t try to kiss me back.”
Morgan wrinkled her nose. “Ouch.”
“Yeah, ouch.”
“I’m sure it was a simple misunderstanding.” Sarah rubbed a hand over Hailey’s stiff shoulders.
“It was definitely a misunderstanding. I thought he was interested, but he cleared that notion right up.”
Morgan frowned. “Then I’ve misunderstood too. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Hailey. He’s definitely interested—make no mistake about it.”
Hailey smothered the flicker of hope as she thought back to the awkward scene in the kitchen. She shrugged. “I’m afraid not. He said, and I quote, ‘Let’s keep it simple, keep things friends.’ He all but patted my head.”
Morgan scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Why are men so stupid?” She kissed Emma’s forehead. “You might as well learn right here and now, Emma. Men are completely stupid…sometimes…most of the time.”
