“You’re right I do feel guilty but Ryan’s business is a lot to do with it too. If I had to go through that again I’d die and that’s no exaggeration, I would.”
Martina grasped her hand. “I understand completely, it’s why I’ve stayed single, apart from the odd shag here and there. I’m so sorry Rach, I know how much Ryan means to you. When you and he get together amazing things happen, it’s a bloody shame you can’t work it out.”
“We can’t. There’s no option but to split up.”
“But it still hurts?”
“Yes,” she sobbed.
Martina held her while she cried her heart out.
Ryan stared despondently into his glass. It had been a week since he broke up with Rachel and the gnawing pain inside was getting steadily worse rather than abating like he’d hoped it would. Not even alcohol could deaden the effect. He knocked back a whisky then ordered another. He was at Martina’s Bar, despite his better judgement, hoping Rachel would pop in because he was desperate to see her. She’d avoided the spa since their split, deciding to work from home instead and she was ignoring all his phone calls. He’d had to resort to text messaging, which he hated because it made him feel like teenage girl, to which she’d replied with the curt message that she was fine.
A few women were giving him the eye but he ignored them, not interested. They were nothing compared to Rachel.
He glanced at his watch and saw that it was eight o’clock. Normally about this time Rachel curled up on the sofa with Leah, the little girl sinking into her arms as she drifted off to sleep. Rachel then put her to bed and changed into the silky robe, or maybe even the rabbit pyjamas…
He doused the lump in his throat with more of the fiery whisky. He must be going soft, he’d never been tormented with thoughts like these before.
Dolores stood behind the bar regarding Ryan sympathetically. It was clear he was suffering. Rachel had told her all about their break-up and although she was sorry because they were a great couple she could see why Ryan was reluctant to give up his businesses and she sympathised with him.
She spotted Rachel entering the club and Ryan’s eyes slid sideways and fixated on her. The bar was busy, consequently Rachel didn’t see him until she was right at the bar and she stopped in her tracks. Dolores watched them stare at each other with longing in their eyes and wanted to bang their heads together.
“Hello Ryan,” said Rachel tightly.
“Hello Rachel,” he replied.
Rachel shook herself out of it and ducked behind the bar to speak to Dolores.
“I’ve just come in to go over the books while Leah’s on a sleepover at Beth‘s.”
“Alright Love.” She glanced Ryan’s way. “Why don’t you have a drink with him? He looks so bloody miserable I can‘t stand it.”
“He’s a big boy, he can ask me himself,” she retorted before striding out of the bar and up the stairs to her office, resolutely refusing to look Ryan’s way.
Ryan watched her go with indecision in his steely grey eyes. Then they filled with resolution. He slammed down the glass and went after her, failing to notice the woman hovering by his elbow, hoping to chat him up.
Rachel stood gazing out of her office window, trying to regain her composure. Seeing Ryan had shocked and thrilled her and she’d hoped he would ask her to join him for a drink but he hadn’t, he’d just let her walk by. Clearly he was over it so why wasn’t she?
Her thoughts were interrupted by the door bursting open and Ryan stood illuminated in the doorway, eyes burning. He slammed the door shut and in two strides he was in front of her. He took her face in his hands and kissed her hard.
With a groan she sank into the kiss, feeling as though she was right back where she belonged.
He pushed her up against the wall, hitching up her skirt while she yanked open his jeans. He didn’t even bother to pull down her panties, such was his haste. Instead he pushed them aside and thrust into her.
The pleasure was instant and gratifying, filling the black hole that had been ripped open inside her. Neither of them said a word as they moved together desperately. She clawed at his shoulders as she came and he held her to him tightly as he spilled himself inside her. She clung onto him as the aftershocks caused her body to shudder and he devoured her mouth then pressed his forehead to hers in his customary way.
She wanted to tell him how much she’d missed him but what difference would it make? They couldn’t be together.
He read the look in her eyes and gently lowered her to the ground. When he kissed her again it was gentle, tender, telling her he’d missed her as much as she’d missed him. Without a word he left, closing the door quietly behind him and she slid to the floor, her knees going weak.
Rachel received more black looks at the nursery when she dropped Leah off but she was in no mood for their shit so she glared right back at them, causing many of them to hastily look away. Her temper snapped when she saw party invitations in every child’s pigeon hole except for Leah’s.
“Who’s responsible for this?” she demanded.
They all took a step back and pointed at a young mother with a curly perm in the corner.
Rachel stomped up to her and the woman appeared terrified.
“Why has every child got an invitation except Leah?”
“I…I thought as she hasn’t been here very long that she wouldn’t feel comfortable.”
“Rubbish,” she hissed quietly, attempting to get her temper under control. “This is because of who I am but I will not have her suffer because of it.”
However the woman was determined to stand her ground. “I’m sorry but everything’s booked and arranged. It’s too late to change the numbers now.”
Rachel opened her mouth to retort but a tall good looking man with dark hair and a commanding presence intervened. Rachel knew him as Tim Ashby, a local MP who’d just gone through a messy divorce. His son attended the nursery and although they often said hello she’d never actually spoken to him before.
“My son James is having a party next week. Leah is more than welcome to attend,” he said smoothly.
Rachel smiled. “Thank you. She will be there.”
Tim’s intervention allowed Rachel to escape the situation with her dignity intact. With one last glare at the woman she returned to Leah, who was struggling with her coat. Finally the inner door opened and after kissing her daughter goodbye Rachel headed for the exit.
“Wait, Mrs Maguire,” called a voice.
She turned to see Tim hurrying to catch up with her.
“Thanks for that,” she smiled.
“No problem. For what it’s worth, I think it’s wrong the way they treat you. We don’t all feel the same.”
She smiled gratefully.
“I wondered if you would join me for dinner tonight?”
The invitation surprised her and her instinct was to refuse but she thought of the night ahead. Leah was spending the night with her gran, as she usually did on a Friday, so all Rachel had to look forward to was a night in brooding over Ryan.
“Okay.”
“Excellent. Shall I meet you at Marco’s at eight?”
“Sounds perfect.”
CHAPTER 25
Jez strode purposefully into Ryan’s house without knocking to find his brother slumped on the couch, staring miserably at the television. He regarded Jez with cold eyes.
“May I enquire why you’ve barged into my house without knocking?”
“You don’t need to enquire because I’m going to fucking tell you.”
Ryan’s gaze hardened. “I wait with baited breath.”
“Do you know where Rachel is now?”
“No.”
“She’s on a date.”
Ryan’s eyes flashed with hellish fury before he recalled himself and hid his emotions behind a mask of nonchalance. “So? She’s free to do as she pleases.”
“I’m going to tell you something now Ryan and I know it might earn me a kicking but I don�
�t care because you need to be told a few home truths.”
“I’m all ears,” glowered Ryan.
“You’re many things but stupid isn’t one of them. So why are you being such a prick?”
“Excuse me?”
Jez refused to be intimidated by the sheer menace radiating off his brother. Someone had to make him see sense.
“Rachel is the best thing that ever happened to you and you let her go. Why?”
“She can’t live with what I am.”
“Bollocks, she loves you. What she can’t live with is what you do, there’s a difference. You’ve made millions, you don’t need to worry about money again. You could have it all with a nice little ready-made family, which I know is what you want, even though you’re too stubborn to admit it. Why didn’t you fight harder for her?”
“Not that it’s anything to do with you but I can’t give up the businesses. What would I do with myself?”
“Oh I don’t know, maybe expand the legitimate business empire you’ve built with Rachel,” he said as though he was simple. “What you’ve achieved together in such a short space of time is incredible and when you’re with her you’re actually happy, for the first time in your whole life. For once you were being the real you and you know what? You were a hell of a lot more fun to be around.”
“Jez…”
“I’m not fucking finished,” he snarled, taking Ryan aback. “So now you’re going to carry on like you were before and where’s it going to get you? Dying with a shot in your chest like Danny or, which I know you’d find worse, winding up back inside for a long stretch tormented by the thought that you gave up the best thing you ever had.”
Ryan shot to his feet and although Jez swallowed nervously he refused to back down. He forced himself not to flinch when Ryan’s arms shot out and instead of the expected blow he was amazed when his big brother hugged him for the first time in his life.
“You’re right, I’m an idiot.”
Jez pulled back to regard him with utter astonishment. “Did I hear you right?”
“Yes you did and please close your mouth Jez, you look simple There’s no woman on earth like Rachel and I’ve let her go for a life I don’t even really want anymore. You’re a good brother, far better than I’ve ever been to you and for that I’m sorry.”
Jez’s mouth opened and closed, lost for words.
“It’s time I stepped back, I’ve had enough and you are the one to take over. As of now all the businesses are yours. I’m strictly legit.”
Ryan snatched up his jacket and car keys.
“Where are you going?” said Jez.
“To get back what’s most important to me,” he grinned before rushing out to his car, leaving Jez to gape after him.
Rachel realised this date had been a mistake. Tim was boring and pompous and all she could think about was Ryan. On the bright side the restaurant was very nice but she hadn’t got an appetite.
She didn’t know what to think when Ryan walked into the room. For a brief, terrible moment she was afraid that he’d come with a date but it soon became apparent he was alone. He looked mouth watering in black trousers and black shirt. Memories of ripping his shirt open to reveal the stunning body beneath returned unbidden and she flushed. When his eyes darted around the room she hastily looked away, attempting to concentrate on Tim’s words but they’d turned into a dull drone.
She cursed under her breath when Ryan was seated at the table next to hers. What if he was meeting a woman? The thought made her sick, she couldn’t bear to see him with someone else but her pride wouldn’t let her leave. She looked back at Tim and forced herself to appear enraptured by his words.
She heard the waitress ask Ryan what he wanted.
“What’s that raven haired beauty at the next table having?” he said in a loud voice, causing a few customers to smile but Rachel resolutely refused to look his way. She tried to remember if there were any other women in the restaurant with dark hair, he wasn’t necessarily talking about her. Tim appeared not to have heard because he continued talking, oblivious to the fact that she wasn’t listening.
Deciding to chance a glance at Ryan’s table, a thrill ran through her when she saw that his grey eyes were locked on her. She looked away and returned her attention to Tim but still she didn’t hear what he was saying, very aware that Ryan’s eyes were boring into her. She shifted in her seat as she experienced a distinct tingling between the legs.
Tim continued to jabber on. Surely he should be running out of breath by now? Christ he was dull. He finally shut up when the waitress approached clutching a bottle of sinfully expensive champagne.
“I didn’t order that,” frowned Tim.
Rachel rolled her eyes, he was such a cheapskate. When they’d arrived he’d made it clear that she was only allowed two courses.
“It’s a gift from the gentleman at the next table Sir,” she replied politely, opening the bottle and pouring them out a glass each.
“Who is he? I don’t know him,” said Tim rudely.
“He’s my business partner,” sighed Rachel.
Ryan got to his feet and casually sauntered over to their table.
“Hello Rachel,” he smiled.
“Hello,” she replied curtly. “Ryan this is Tim, Tim, Ryan.”
The two men nodded at each other. Ryan assessed him coolly and Rachel saw the derision in his eyes, giving her the urge to kick him.
Ryan returned his attention to Rachel. “I was hoping you’d join me in a celebratory drink.”
“What are you celebrating?” she said flatly.
“Two things. First, I’m taking early retirement.”
She blinked at him with surprise. “Really, you?” she said, hope coursing through her.
“Yes me. I thought I might take up golf, although I’m not sure how I’d cope with the ridiculous clothes.” He eyed Tim disdainfully. “You could probably give me some advice there.”
“I beg your pardon?” blustered Tim. “And do you mind? We’re in the middle of dinner here.”
Ryan’s eyes narrowed. “And you do not know how to treat a lady, I mean the cheapest bottle of wine and no starter. Shocking.”
“Your manners are appalling. Despite the expensive outfit it’s clear you’re from cheap stock.”
Rachel noticed the knot of muscle at the base of Ryan’s jaw pulse with anger, although other than that he appeared cool and collected.
“I’ll have you know I was educated at Cambridge, just like yourself Timothy Ashby. Yes, I remember you now. Your daddy was imprisoned for fraud, wasn’t he? Something to do with embezzling his staff’s pension funds.”
Tim turned puce with rage and retorted something in Latin. Both he and Rachel were surprised when Ryan came right back at him in the same language and heat ran through her. How did he manage to make a dead language sound sexy? She glanced around the restaurant and noticed that everyone was eagerly watching the show, including the staff, although they were trying to be subtle about it.
With Tim silenced, Ryan turned his attention back to Rachel. “I’m also celebrating something else. I’m getting married.”
All Rachel’s hopes were crushed and a sharp pain lanced through her body.
“Who is she?” she spat through gritted teeth, imagining all the bloody retribution she’d bring down on the bitch’s head.
“At least I hope I am,” he continued. “I haven’t actually asked her yet.”
With that he dropped to one knee before her and pulled out a small black box from his jacket pocket. Rachel stared at him in amazement, her mouth hanging open when he opened the box to reveal a dazzling diamond ring.
“Rachel Maguire, I love you more than life itself and I was mad to let you go. Without you I’m not whole and if I have to endure one more day without you I will lose my mind. You’ve made an honest man out of me and I want you to be my wife and together we’ll give Leah lots of brothers and sisters.”
“What the hell is this?” splutte
red Tim. “How dare you propose to my date?”
Ryan fixed him with such a malevolent glare that he instantly went silent.
“As I was saying,” Ryan continued, turning back to Rachel, “I love you. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”
“Yes,” she cried, tears standing out in her eyes before flinging her arms around his neck.
The entire restaurant broke into noisy applause, except for Tim, as Ryan clutched her to him tightly, breathing a huge sigh of relief. He was never letting this woman go again. He kissed her hard then slid the ring onto her finger, the sight incredibly satisfying. Now she was his in every way.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said.
“Okay,” she grinned.
“But…but…,” stammered Tim.
Ryan chucked a wad of notes on the table to cover the cost of the champagne.
“Enjoy. It’s vintage.”
Taking Rachel’s hand the two of them hurried from the restaurant together beaming broadly.
Ryan took her back to his house and made love to her on the rug in front of the fire, long sweet slow love that cemented their new union.
“So when do you want to get married?” she said.
His fingers entwined with hers, the diamond ring glinting in the firelight. “As soon as possible. I am not risking losing you again.”
“And you meant what you said about the businesses? You’re really going to give them up?”
“I already have. I handed everything over to Jez before I got to the restaurant.”
“So you’re a legitimate businessman now?”
“I am and I have big plans.”
“And what are those?”
“First things first, I want to marry you then take you and Leah away for a long luxurious holiday. Then we can come home and start expanding our business.”
“Expansion,” she said, intrigued. “In what way?”
“More spas, hotels, leisure complexes, the lot. And we don’t have to stop there. Let’s take over this entire fucking city.”
Richard Spencer had never turned up and Rachel doubted he ever would. Bruce had inherited everything but he wasn’t his father. Their path was free and clear.
Divided Loyalties Page 27
