Reve tilted his head. “If I stay, it will be for more than one night. I want the dream.” The younger god held out his hand.
Honestly, Kiernan didn’t know if the dream was possible, not anymore. Not unless he could lose the darkness that shadowed his existence. He looked at the strong, long fingers stretched toward him and put his palm in Reve’s. Maybe dreams lasted only a night, maybe one night would be all it would take to dispel the black.
Chapter Six
Unable to drift off, Nyx stared up at the cave ceiling as she lay between the two sleeping gods who had brought such ecstasy into her night. Even with such a wondrous experience, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more, something she was missing.
Careful not to wake them, she crawled out of bed and put on a robe. Since Reve’s arrival two nights ago, they hadn’t left the cave. In fact, they’d hardly left the bed except to grab a quick bite of ambrosia and some nectar for physical sustenance.
In the flickering torchlight, she watched as the two gods slept. Without her separating them, they cuddled together, for warmth perhaps, but neither awoke. The contrast between them, dark long haired Kiernan and the golden short haired Reve struck her anew. The two were so different and yet when they’d returned after her husband stomped out that first day, they seemed closer and Kiernan more open than she’d ever seen him with anyone other than her.
The males both seemed content to live in bed, just enjoying fabulous sex. While she couldn’t blame their attitude—gods she’d experienced so many orgasms between the two of them, she wouldn’t even try to count them—she never forgot what brought her to Nocterra and then what had consumed her since her arrival.
Needing some time to think, she left the cave to walk among the sandstone cliffs. Reve’s appearance had startled her. Already it seemed as if he was a major part of their lives, daresay relationship. Her heart knew what her mind protested against. She wanted Reve as much as she’d ever wanted Kiernan. In one way it felt like a betrayal, but when she watched the two men together, stroking and fondling one another with little inhibition, her guilt disappeared. Kiernan wanted Reve just as much as she did. As far as she knew, he’d never experimented with the same sex, but it didn’t surprise her. Gods were notorious for bisexual explorations.
Above her the stars sparkled. Nocterra, the place of Night, of Darkness, and now of Dreams. How could her dream come true, to bring life to this planet? The solution remained a puzzle for her, and during the last days spent in the arms of her two lovers, she’d given it little thought. Was it even possible, or was the planet destined to be a forsaken outpost, dead and desolate? Her chest tightened at the thought it would never be the teaming place of life she envisioned.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
She jumped at Reve’s voice coming from beside her. Lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t heard his approach. “Oh, nothing.”
“They say when a woman says nothing, that’s the most important time for a man to listen. I’m here.” He draped an arm around her shoulder and drew her close. “I’m listening if you want to talk.”
His tenderness, so unlike Kiernan’s fierce passion took her aback. “Are dreams always meant to come true? Or sometimes are they supposed to remain just that, a fantasy inside our minds never to be real?”
Without removing his arm, he walked with her, drawing her to a ledge which overlooked a canyon of rock formations. They stood there silently for a lengthy moment, so long that she thought perhaps he wouldn’t answer her.
“I don’t know the answer.” His forehead scrunched and he pressed his lips together for a second, giving him a look of a confused little boy before he continued. “What I do know is that there are all kinds of dreams. Some good and beautiful and some horrible nightmares. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell the difference.”
Was the god of dreams presenting her a riddle? “I don’t understand, why can’t you tell the difference?” “Certainly a dream can be distinguished from a nightmare.” Unable to keep from touching him, she ran a fingertip over the back of his hand.
“Not always.” He leaned in close to her ear and his breath brushed her skin, igniting a slow burn of need. “Sometimes in the middle of the fantasy, unforeseen fears pop up for the dreamer, and they find that what they imagined wasn’t what they wanted. Or perhaps the dream turns into something unexpected like turning a corner and confronting a monster. Have you ever felt that way?”
She bit her lip. “Sometimes.” Could she share her fears with him? “I’m not sure how much I should tell you. It seems like a betrayal in a way.”
“Then don’t say a thing. I care for you. Kiernan and you have always been my hope. The fantasy I couldn’t have. The last two days and nights have been the ultimate dream come true, but I would never come between the two of you. I trust you both with my heart. If I were to change things between you, I’d never forgive myself.”
“It’s not you. Nothing you’ve done.” She had to find the words to make him understand. “I think it’s me. Something inside me won’t let me be happy even inside the dream. I love Kiernan more than I can express. He’s the other part of my soul. But you’ve swept into our lives, and I truly can’t imagine living without you with us.”
He kissed her cheek. “I feel the same. Honestly, I’ve never been so happy. But that’s not what is wrong is it?”
She closed her eyes to gather her thoughts and took a deep breath. “Kiernan is a wonderful husband and lover. But often, I feel like he doesn’t hear me when I talk. Partly, I think the darkness that resides within him prevents him from understanding others. So often he’s consumed with the darkness and it weighs on him. I’m not even sure that he shares the depths of it with me. I hope I lighten that just a bit, and he says that I help. The result of that dynamic is that I don’t share everything with him, and I feel claustrophobic, like I can’t breathe at times.”
“Is that why you left earth? Why you left him in the Halls of Night?” The understanding she saw in Reve’s eyes soothed her fears.
She nodded. “I needed time alone, to find my soul again. I found it here on Nocterra. It’s this place that gave me back my dreams.” She placed her hands on his cheeks and stared into his eyes. “But it’s you who have created new dreams. I find that I’m hopeful again. Thank you for that.”
Slowly, she drew nearer and kissed him in a deep melding of her spirit with his, so different and yet similar to the kisses she’d always shared with Kiernan. It took her breath away.
He must have felt it too, because when he drew back to catch his breath, his eyes opened wide. “Wow. That’s what I’ve been missing from you. I sensed you were holding back, hiding some part of you from me.”
Tears blurred her vision. “I wasn’t sure I could survive giving my heart away like I had with Kiernan.”
“I want to give you your dreams, both of you. Tell me, what do you want?” The intensity in his gaze showed an eagerness to please.
“You’ll think it’s silly. Maybe it’s even impossible.” When he didn’t stop her, she continued. “I dream of bringing light to this planet, to see life taking hold here. It’s the only thing that is missing from this world, life.”
“Wow, you dream big, don’t you?” He laughed, but it wasn’t derogatory. Again she glimpsed a boyish pleasure in the task she’d set before him. “Have you discussed this with Kiernan?”
“Not yet. We never had time, then you came and—” She shrugged.
His lips lifted in his trademark smirk. “We have hardly taken time to eat or sleep.”
“Not that I’m complaining.” Laughter spilled out of her. Reve was good for her, and for Kiernan she hoped.
He took her hand. “Come on. We need Kiernan. Together, I bet we can solve this dilemma and bring light to Nocterra.” Instead of deriding her fantasy, he embraced it.
With his enthusiasm firing her heart, she sped her steps to keep up with him.
Chapter Seven
Reve stood back as
Nyx and Kiernan set up the telescope equipment. When they’d returned to the cave, Nyx had shown them the calculations she’d made during the previous weeks.
“Nocterra’s nearest star is about the distance as the sun is from Saturn. It’s bright, but small and doesn’t provide enough light and heat to support most life forms. See?” Nyx pointed toward the brightest star in the sky.
Kiernan followed her motion, his dark head close to hers.
Reve thought once more how they were so suited to one another. That they had accepted him into their bed and hopefully more, brought an unfamiliar sensation deep within his chest. Gods, he’d never meant to care this much. In an instant, everything could vanish—they could decide they didn’t need another in their relationship. Pain sliced through his gut at the thought of not being with them. He couldn’t dwell on the image of life without them.
Resolve shot through him. They had to make this work, make Nyx’s dream come true and then perhaps both she and Kiernan would see they needed him as much as he needed them.
He inched his way between them, throwing an arm over their shoulders. “What are our options?”
Kiernan tousled Reve’s hair. “Got any bright ideas? Pun intended.”
He chuckled, enjoying the light-hearted camaraderie. Something had definitely changed with the usually brooding god of darkness. The man treated him like a younger brother, well except for the sex, of course. The affection was clear, and he figured it was an excellent beginning to build into something more. When Kiernan asked him to stay, they’d crossed the biggest hurdle.
“Do we have to work within the laws of physics?” While he’d prefer to explore this new rather cheerful side of Kiernan, he opted to focus on the task at hand and solve the problem. Besides, he was curious to see what could be done and what the planet might look like with life on it.
“What do you think, Nyx?” Kiernan asked.
She started at the question, her mouth open in surprise. “Um.” Obviously she wasn’t accustomed to Kiernan asking her opinion. Yes, something had definitely changed in Kiernan’s attitude, even toward his wife. “It’s probably best to stay within the laws of physics if we can, but since we’re so far from any inhabited planets, perhaps a little god-magic might be allowed. After all, we’re trying to create life here, aren’t we?”
Gods, he loved the way her mind worked. “Makes sense to me.”
“So Nocterra needs to be closer to her star, but not too close.” Kiernan summed up the key issue in his typical logic, no less impressive than Nyx’s initial statement. When they’d first approached him, with her proposal, he’d looked at them both as if they had gone crazy. That lasted about ten seconds before he rattled off questions to his wife regarding the logistics. Within a short time they’d trudged out to the tallest mesa and set up the equipment.
“The Goldilocks zone, the mortals call it. Not too close and not too far, just right.” Nyx grinned, and then her smile disappeared. “It’s impossible for us to do without getting more help from the gods, and even then maybe the laws of physics will prevent it. Maybe we should just forget it.”
“You want to do this? We’ll make it happen.” Kiernan thrust out his jaw as if challenging the universe. “What you said before about using the god-magic makes sense as Reve said. But we only have our unique powers to work with. I have the blanket of darkness while you have the powers of night at your disposal.
“But night doesn’t have much to do with light.” With a sigh, Nyx knelt on the sandstone. “I govern the stars and the moons, but not the daylight. Without access to the light this is impossible.”
“True.” Kiernan nodded. “Haven’t you forgotten we have someone else with us now?” Kiernan took Reve’s hand and pulled him down so all three of them sat in a circle.
“In my experience, dreams don’t come to us without the possibility of them coming true if you want them to.” The mantra Reve had lived by for so long came automatically, but for the first time he wanted, no, needed it to be true. Nyx wouldn’t have envisioned this planet with life, if it were not possible. “Still, dreaming and doing are two different things. Doesn’t mean it will be easy.”
Nyx took both his and Kiernan’s hands in hers. “Thank you for believing in the dream. I can’t tell you what it means to have your support in this. Even if we fail.”
“Hush.” Kiernan’s voice came harsh. “No talk of failing before we’ve begun.”
“He’s right. Part of making dreams come true is the power of faith and belief.” He squeezed her fingers.
For the next few hours, they took more measurements and calculations from every angle.
When no solution presented itself, he watched Nyx’s enthusiasm wane. After she’d taken yet another reading and triangulated the planet with the star and another star in the distance, she stepped back from the telescope and rolled her shoulders. “It’s no use. Even taking into consideration the possibility of gathering light from two stars, it won’t be enough to generate the conditions for life. I’m beat. Let’s go back to the cave and I’ll fix us some ambrosia.”
“No.” Kiernan shook his head. “I think we’re on to something. Let me and Reve work on it for a while. Go back and get some rest.”
Reve winked at her. “You may need your strength later.”
The lively tinkle in her laughter shot through him, igniting slow burning desire. “Okay, you guys don’t be too long. I’d hate to have to fall asleep alone in that great big bed of ours.”
Kiernan, busy with his instruments didn’t say anything, but Reve nodded. “See you soon.” He waited until she was out of earshot before speaking. “You know you could have said goodbye.”
“What?” The other god shook his head. “Nyx knows I love her, and that should be enough. I know she loves me too. That’s the important thing.” Kiernan frowned. “Do you want to solve this problem for her? If so, I could use some help here. You know what they say, ‘actions speak louder than words.’”
“Looks like you’ve got this well in hand. I think I’ll go help Nyx.” Irritation at the man’s high handedness annoyed him. More than that—if he didn’t take control of his temper, he’d want to punch some sense into him. Reve headed to the cave, but before he arrived, he stopped and strode off to get some perspective.
What was wrong with him? Kiernan knew Nyx better than anyone. So who was he to tell him how to treat her? And yet, Nyx had mentioned she’d left because of some of Kiernan’s actions. Why should he care? Maybe he should just leave the two of them be. They’d have to work out their relationship themselves, and he couldn’t help them. Too bad he couldn’t make his heart believe that. Sadness, deeper than any he’d experienced before, swept over him.
He wandered the sandy valley, mulling over the issues facing him. Would they ever accept him fully into their relationship as an equal? In bed, there’d been no problem. Often as not he took the lead there as he had during their first encounter, but outside of it he sensed Kiernan’s uncertainty. Sure, he’d asked him to stay, and kidded with him. Something didn’t quite ring true though. They had yet to mention what they planned to do when they returned to earth. Unsure of their feelings, he’d avoided the question completely, never broaching the topic.
Between Kiernan’s on again off again black moods, and Nyx’s dreams of lighting Nocterra, he’d let them be the center of attention. Didn’t he deserve a little more than that? While he hadn’t thought he wanted a forever relationship, the possibility of not having it was unthinkable. Yet he wouldn’t force the issue. They must want him enough to invite him into their lives. If not, he’d go and never look back. It was the smart thing to do, yet why did it leave him feeling so desolate?
How long he wandered the shadows he didn’t know, but the constellations had moved quite a distance by the time he returned to the cave. At the entrance, he paused when he heard voices.
“I don’t know where he went.” Kiernan’s voice was gruff. “Said he was coming to you. So I packed up the equipment a
nd came back.”
“Were you afraid to leave us alone? Did you say something to make him leave?” Nyx’s soft voice held an accusatory tone.
“What in Hades are you talking about? I didn’t say anything. Just told him that he could help with the project. He said he’d go back to the cave.” Kiernan’s voice lowered as he moved away from the cave entrance.
“Should we go looking for him?”
“No. He’s a big boy, he doesn’t need us to go running after him. Let him be.”
“What if he got lost?” Her voice lowered and he couldn’t catch the next words, but it ended, “you wanted.”
“Fine, yes. It’s different having him in our bed. Is that what you want? For me to leave so you can have your plaything?”
Reve knew he should announce his presence, but his feet remained unmoving and he strained to make out their conversation. Perhaps he could learn the answers to his questions and figure out what he should do.
Nyx’s next words did exactly that. She must have moved closer to the cave entrance because he heard every word. “I can’t deny I love him. It’s different than what I feel for you, but no less as passionate. It tears me apart. You’ve always been my one, the rock in my life and I wouldn’t have it any different. But these feelings overwhelm me.”
And just like that he had his answer. He must leave. From the beginning, he’d promised himself he wouldn’t come between them. He’d stay only if he could create a new relationship with their threesome, but never would he take Nyx from Kiernan. It wasn’t an option. He spun on his heel and left. The effort it took to walk away was the most horrid nightmare he’d ever suffered.
Chapter Eight
“You love him?” The hurt in Kiernan’s voice was evident. Nyx couldn’t bear to look at him. “We’ve only been together a few days. How do you know? Maybe it’s just the excitement of something different. I mean, having three of us in bed is hot, I agree.”
Three Times Lucky: Five Sizzling Tales of Three-Way Love Page 9
