I didn’t want any of this.
“So,” my mother said, stubbing out her cigarette right on Arizona’s silk sheets and looking straight at me. “What’s it going to be?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
ARIZONA
Traffic was terrible on my way home from work, and I didn’t walk through the door till well after six. All I wanted to do was have a nice big mug of tea, a snack, and a quick and dirty make-out session with Mason. Roy was still at the office, Layla didn’t seem to be around, and all the household staff were busy doing their thing. No one would notice if I crept into Mason’s room for a short romp.
I dropped my handbag on the kitchen bench, had a quick drink and then headed upstairs. Mason’s door was open just a crack, and I smiled and pushed it open.
“Honey, I’m home,” I jokingly said in a sing-song voice. “I’ve been going crazy after that Skype call all day. You need to take off your shirt and…”
My voice trailed off as I saw what he was doing. There was a large black suitcase on the bed, and he was speedily shoving clothes, shoes and other possessions into it, barely even taking a second to glance up at me.
“Um…what are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m leaving,” he said, as if that explained anything that was going on.
“What do you mean, leaving? Another charity event for your Mom?” I asked.
He didn’t meet my eyes and continued throwing clothes into his suitcase. “No. I mean I’m leaving.”
My whole body suddenly felt numb, and my heart began to pound in my chest.
“You mean you’re leaving the house…or me?” I asked in a small voice. Judging by his current attitude, I already had a more-than sneaking suspicion of what his answer would be, although I couldn’t fathom why. Just a few hours earlier, we’d been fine.
He still wouldn’t look at me. “You deserve better than this. You’re better off without me. Trust me.”
Tears sprang to my eyes before I could stop them, and I reached out for him. He shied away from me, and I barely choked out my next words.
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m better with you, not without you. Don’t go. Why are you doing this?”
He drew himself up to his full height and finally looked at me. His eyes were cold.
“Did you really think this could last? You’re my stepsister. There’s no way this was ever going to be more than a fling.”
A tear rolled down my cheek, and I wiped it away with my hand. “No. I don’t believe this. You know we’re more than just a fling. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I want to be with you!”
“Well, I do care about what everyone thinks,” he said. “And you need to forget about this. Forget about me.”
“I wouldn’t have slept with you if I hadn’t thought it was going somewhere between us,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “You knew that.”
“Well, maybe you should have been more careful about who you threw your virginity away with. Kinda pathetic, don’t you think?”
I couldn’t believe it. The man who I’d thought cared about me as much as I cared about him was basically telling me I was nothing more than some pathetic skank he’d hooked up with as part of a quick fling. He meant everything to me, and he was saying that I was nothing to him. No. No way. It couldn’t be true.
“I know you don’t mean this,” I said as he finished packing the case and zipped it up. “You don’t. What’s really going on, Mason?”
He didn’t reply, and I stepped up right in his face and began to pummel on his chest. I knew it was a crazy thing to do, but I was damned hysterical.
“Don’t do this!” I shouted, my eyes clouded with tears. “You can’t do this!”
He continued to ignore me and picked up the suitcase before pushing past me and walking towards the door. I called out to him in one last attempt to stop him.
“Please, Mason!” I said. “I love you!”
He stopped dead in his tracks but didn’t turn around. I could have sworn I heard him murmur ‘I love you too,’ under his breath.
“What?” I said, tears streaming freely down my face now. “What did you say?”
He turned his head over his shoulder, his eyes locking on mine. “I’m sorry.”
And then, just like that…he was gone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
MASON
On the outside, I was fine. I was Mason Crest as he always was. Cool, calm and collected. On the inside, I was ruined.
I was a monster.
I felt like the lowest of low creatures for the way I’d treated Arizona, but it had to be done. I didn’t want to be the one responsible for ruining her life and her reputation so soon after she’d reconnected with her biological father. She might not have blamed me if it happened, but it would’ve been my fault and I would’ve always felt guilty for letting it happen. I wanted her to have a good life, not one filled with media hounding and bitchy tabloid spreads. And now she’d probably have that in Seattle. My mother had informed me that Arizona was thinking of moving there in order to take up some position in one of Roy’s West Coast offices, and when she’d told me, it was like a knife had ripped through my guts.
The look in her big hazel eyes when I’d told her I was ending it had haunted me for four weeks now. A new expression had passed over her face with each passing second. Confusion. Shock. Denial. It was like I could actually feel her heart breaking when I’d walked out the door.
Or maybe that was just my own heart breaking.
I could still hear her last words ringing in my ear. I love you. The second she’d said them, my soul had fractured. I so desperately wanted to take her in my arms and tell her I loved her too, but I couldn’t. I loved her so much that I had to end it with her in order to protect her. But it didn’t matter how many times I tried to convince myself of that. I was still a monster. I kept thinking there had to be something I could have done differently to clean up this whole mess with my mother. I’d thought of threatening her with going to Roy about Emile in order to get her off our backs, but I still had no hard evidence of that affair, and the minute I tried it, she would have taken those photos to the media in revenge and wrecked Arizona’s life.
People always said the nights were the worst after a breakup, but that wasn’t true. It was the mornings that were the worst, waking up every day to an empty bed after I’d just spent the night dreaming of her. If I’d realized anything in the last fourteen days, it was how fucking empty my life was without her. Not just because of the sex. It was everything about her – the way she rolled her eyes when I pissed her off, the way she bit her lower lip when she was concentrating, the way her eyes widened when she looked up at me as she blew me, the way she looked just like an angel whenever she’d slept in my arms.
I’d soldiered on and kept reminding myself that it was for the best. She’d never know it, but I’d done it all for her sake. After I’d left, I’d crashed at Anders’ place for a few days, and now I was staying in a rented apartment until I figured out what the hell I was going to do. The way I saw it, if I didn’t have Arizona, I didn’t have anything, but the least I could do is get a damn job so it at least looked like I had something to the outside world.
Roy had no idea anything had ever happened between us, and when he heard I was moving out and looking for full-time work, he’d offered to set me up with a few interviews. It would have been easy for me to say yes and take them, but I’d declined. He was just trying to help, but I felt too bad to accept his aid after what I’d done to his daughter, whether he knew about it or not. Besides, I was twenty years old. I was more than old enough to man up, take responsibility and sort my shit out. All by myself.
And I’d woken up yesterday with a plan. A good plan. There was something I could do to try and fix things.
It might not be enough to get Arizona back or even remotely convince her to ever forgive me for dumping her so cruelly, but it’d sure as shit be enough to make sure my mother never tried to s
crew with her ever again. That was enough for me.
The more I’d thought about it in the last couple of days, the more I’d realized that the media and the thirsty public weren’t the problem. My mother was the problem, plain and simple, and if there was anything the media and the public loved more than a salacious sex scandal, it was when a celebrity fell from grace. I think the Germans called it schadenfreude - pleasure derived from the misfortune of others…. and a lot of people would derive a lot of pleasure from seeing the queen of celebrities finally lose her crown.
So she thought she could use the tabloids against me and Arizona? Well, I’d decided that two could play at that game. I was going to do a tell-all interview about her, and I already had several interested parties who were willing to pay a lot of money for my story. Money I could then use to start my own business. Yeah, it was a cheap shot, but after all the years of putting up with her shit and watching her fuck people over, she deserved it. She had her head so far up her own ass that she’d never see it coming.
She couldn’t sue me for defamation if she didn’t like it, because everything I was going to say was one hundred percent true, everything down to the story of that poor little kid from Malawi. She’d destroyed a lot of people over the years, and her last mistake would be trying to destroy her own son and stepdaughter.
I was going all in, and Layla Wade Crest was going down.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
ARIZONA
It had been four weeks since Mason walked out that door.
At first I hadn’t known what to do. I’d just stood there, tears rolling down my cheeks. They hadn’t stopped for three days, and I’d spent the entire weekend curled up in bed, only emerging from under the blankets to use the bathroom or grab a drink. Sleep somehow came easier to me when I was upset. It was as if my body knew that every moment spent in slumber was a moment I didn’t have to spend thinking about him, and when the dreams came – the ones where he was still here, his strong arms encircling me in a tight embrace as his lips pressed down hard on mine – all I had to do was have a glass of scotch to chase the demons away.
I’d never been a scotch drinker, but I’d picked up the habit from Roy. He seemed to like having a glass when he was a little stressed. I was more than a little stressed, though. I was completely and utterly broken, and the worst part was that I couldn’t tell anyone.
No. Scratch that. The worst part about all this was that I had no idea why Mason had broken up with me. He’d refused to tell me anything other than that he thought it was for the best. I must have done something. Maybe I’d said something wrong, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure it out.
I’d been so cut up about the whole thing that I hadn’t even told Tina during our regular Skype dates, and I usually told her everything. When I’d finally crawled out of bed the Monday morning after Mason had left, I’d just gone into Rosacorp like nothing had happened and continued with my work. Anything that took my mind off the past and pointed towards my future was a welcome relief, not that it did much to stop the tears whenever I was alone. I’d been used and discarded like a naïve piece of trash, and I could still barely wrap my head around it.
I hadn’t even heard a peep from him. Didn’t a girl at least deserve a simple text message telling her exactly why it was over? Not according to Mason, apparently.
Well, I wasn’t going to let him put me off. Deep down, I knew not all men were like him, and as soon as I felt ready, I was going to jump back into the dating game, even though that probably wouldn’t be for a long time. I wasn’t going to let this experience turn me all angry and bitter. If Roy had taught me one thing since I’d come here to live with him, it was that hate could twist your heart around and turn you into a shadow of your former self.
So no, I wasn’t going to let that happen. Part of me felt like I was being strong in saying that, but another part of me told me it was only because I didn’t actually feel any hatred towards Mason. Yet. I wanted to hate him, believe me, but for some reason I still felt like I was soul-crushingly in love with the man. Dammit. Heartbreak was the worst.
I was strongly considering moving across the country for a while just to get away from it all, and I hadn’t had the heart to break the news to Roy yet. He’d mentioned that there were job positions in his Seattle office that I’d be perfect for if I ever wanted to experience another city, but he probably wouldn’t be too happy to hear that I was thinking about leaving Newport so soon. Unfortunately, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to get away from this entire state for a while just to get away from Mason.
Everywhere I went, something reminded me of him, and it was like everything that used to be good had been tainted by his memory. The Italian restaurant we’d been to together so many times. My favorite little diner where he’d run off Ewan. Even the little spot on the street outside the Italian restaurant where he’d watched me dance in the rain like a crazy person. I couldn’t even go back to crappy Leyton, because the hotel would remind me of where we’d first met.
Seeing as I hadn’t wanted to upset Roy just yet, I’d confided my possible plans in Layla, and she’d thought it was a wonderful idea. ‘Oh sweetie, your Dad will miss you terribly, and so will I, but it’d be a great opportunity and he’d be happy to see you thriving in a new office without him there to prop you up all the time. Seattle is a beautiful city, and we’d visit you all the time,’ she’d said. She’d really seemed to understand. Perhaps she wasn’t as bad as Mason had made her out to be. After all, he’d acted like he cared about me and then left me in the dust. He’d probably lied about her supposed antics as well, just for attention. At this point, I wouldn’t put anything past him.
Just as I was settling back into my office cubicle after lunch, I got a call.
“Hello?” I said, picking up my buzzing cell.
“Hey, Arizona, it’s me,” Victoria said. “I’m calling for your father. He wanted to know if you’d join us down at the marina. Layla’s here too. We’re taking the yacht out for the afternoon. Can you make it?”
I wrinkled my forehead. “I thought you guys were still in New York for that shareholder’s meeting.”
“It finished early so we took the jet back already. Didn’t he call you earlier? Anyway, it’s his birthday next week, but he’ll be in Philadelphia for the Wilkins buyout, so he figured he’d get in some family fun in the sun today as an early birthday treat.”
Crap. In all my depressive whining for the last few weeks, I’d totally forgotten that Roy’s fiftieth birthday was coming up soon.
“Will Mason be there?” I asked, trying to keep my voice as light and airy as possible.
“Nope. Apparently he’s busy with his new apartment or something.”
“Okay,” I replied, breathing a quiet sigh of relief. Of course. I should have known he wouldn’t go. He’d confided in me a while ago that he was scared of open water after what had happened to his childhood friend, and in all my efforts to banish him from my thoughts, it had momentarily slipped my mind. “Well, I just need to type one more letter up, and then I can head down there.”
“Two o’clock okay? Oh, and bring your bikini and sunscreen!”
I chewed on my lip as I stared at my watch. Two o’clock was only an hour away. The drive from the office in Providence back to Newport usually took forty minutes without bad traffic, so as long as I left soon, it should be all right.
“Um…yeah, I should be able to make it by then,” I replied. “Thanks for the call. See ya soon!”
Since our chat the other month, Victoria had more than made up for being a bitch to me when I’d first arrived. She’d introduced me to a cute little coffee shop near the office that made the best damn latte I’d ever tasted, and we frequently popped down there on work breaks for girly gossip sessions. Even though I hadn’t been able to tell her what had happened with Mason, she’d somehow sensed that I was having boy trouble and given me a long speech on how I could do so much better than whichever prick had broken my
heart. I still missed having Tina around like crazy, but it was nice to have another female friend close to home, especially during a time like this.
There was an accident on the main road heading back to Newport, and I sighed as I checked my watch before delicately pressing my foot down on the gas pedal. The accident had caused a lot of traffic, and I’d probably barely make it down to the marina in time at this rate. I also needed to quickly stop off at home and grab a bikini, hat and sunscreen, and that only added to my journey’s length.
I raced into the house when I arrived, spoke to Jan for a brief moment to let her know that we’d all be out for the afternoon, and then finally made my way down to the marina. Crap. It was almost two-thirty. Hoping they hadn’t decided to leave without me, I jogged down to where I knew Roy kept his yacht, the Rosa. I’d never been aboard, but he’d driven me down to the marina to show it to me before. Luckily, it was still sitting there in the water, and Victoria waved to me from the uppermost deck as I stood on the boardwalk.
“There you are! I was just about to call you,” she said. “We’ve been waiting.”
“I’m so sorry I’m late,” I said, panting as I boarded. “Where’s our captain?”
She grinned. “You’re looking at her.”
“You know how to sail? I thought Roy would do it…or at least hire someone to do it for us.”
She chuckled. “Well, he does pay my salary. I’ve been sailing since I was a kid. My Dad used to take me out every weekend, so don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.”
“Oh, awesome. Do you still do that with him very often?”
Her face clouded over slightly. “No. He passed away a couple of years ago.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said hurriedly. “I had no idea.”
She gave me a tight smile. “It’s okay. I’m sorry to put a dampener on the afternoon. Anyway, let me show you around! You have to admit, this thing is damned impressive. Your Dad has good taste.”
Mine - A Stepbrother Romance Page 16
