“You’ve been back to work on the ranch for two and a half weeks now,” Nick said after a while. “How’s it feel?”
“I’m working twice has hard for less money,” Henry replied, “and I feel ten times better. I loved my job in Denver, but right now, this is what I need. And speaking of the ranch, is there any word on hiring a couple new hands?”
Nick shook his head. “No one who’s responded is willing to do the work. I think Dad’s trying to talk Austin McGuire into coming to work for us fulltime. Even if he agrees to it, though, we’re still a hand short.”
“At this rate, we may have to give up some of the old traditions.” Henry glanced through the narrow gap in the walls of the ravine to the lower fields of their ranch at the beaverslide they’d used a week and a half ago to make the stacks of hay that now dotted the fields. “I’d hate to see the old derek sit and rot.”
“I would, too.” Nick glanced at the wooden structure in the distance, then turned to Henry. “I’m a little surprised at you.”
“Why? This is my home as much as it’s yours… even if you and Beth will be the ones to take it over when Dad and Mom decide to retire. It’s like Uncle James said. You can take a Hammond off the ranch, but you can’t take the ranch out of the Hammond.”
“That’s not what I mean, Hen. Of course the Lazy H will always be your home.”
“And I wasn’t being a dick. I meant what I said.”
“That’s what surprises me. I know you love this place as much as the rest of us, but you’ve spent most of the last ten years trying to convince yourself otherwise.”
Henry turned his water bottle around in his hand, staring at it without seeing it. “I guess getting a metaphorical kick in the balls forced me to admit that I was deluding myself.”
“How are you doing with that? I know how much you love Dylan, but you seem to be handling it remarkably well.”
“I have my moments, but I’m okay. Meeting Lindsay helped. A lot.” He drained the rest of his water in one long gulp, crumpled the bottle and screwed the cap on, and set it beside him, then returned his gaze to the distant beaverslide.
“Have you talked to her since she left?” his brother inquired.
“A few times. We’ve sort of set up a twice-weekly schedule—Mondays and Thursdays, though not tonight. She and Skye are going out to dinner. I miss her a lot more than I thought I would, and it sucks, but even missing her is good for me because if I’m thinking about her, I’m not thinking about Dylan.”
“That is good, Henry,” Nick agreed. “And I’m glad to hear you’re keeping the lines of communication open because it tells me you’re smart enough to realize you need her right now.”
Henry snorted. “Need is a strong word, Nick.”
“Tell me I’m wrong.”
Henry didn’t admit that Nick was right, but he didn’t lie and say his brother was wrong, either. Instead, he moved forward on the topic. “Her ex has been more of prick than usual this week. It’s almost like he’s trying to make her pay for suggesting he give up his son even though it seems like that’s exactly what he’s wanted from the start. I didn’t know he told her to get an abortion and that, when she refused, he wanted her to put Noah up for adoption. She didn’t tell me that until after she went home to Washington.”
Nick swore under his breath and leapt off the tailgate. He stalked away a few paces, and Henry noted a sudden and alarming stiffness about his brother.
“Nick?”
The older man turned back to face him and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Henry could almost hear the memories churning in his sibling’s head. It was a few minutes before Nick regained his composure and again joined Henry on the tailgate.
“Sorry,” he said. “That caught me off guard, made me remember those first hours and days after Trey raped Beth. If she’d gotten pregnant from it… she’d’ve had to face that same decision.”
“I can’t even fathom that kind of fear—not what Lindsay must’ve felt as a young mother and certainly not what Beth went through.”
“I can. To some extent, anyhow. The worst of it for me was knowing there was nothing I could do to protect her from it, but I imagine that’s nothing compared to what she felt.”
“Thank God she didn’t get pregnant.”
Nick nodded. “I’m truly afraid I would’ve killed Trey if she had.”
“I believe you would have, too. I remember how protective you became of her after that. I mean, you always looked out for her, but that night changed everything.”
“Yes, it did.” Nick frowned. “What Beth went through was horrible, but it doesn’t make Lindsay’s struggles any less heartbreaking. I may not have spent much time with her, but it was pretty easy to see the damage her ex did and continues to do.”
“I wish….” Henry shook his head, unable to put his desires into words.
“You wish what?” Nick prodded when Henry hadn’t continued after more than a minute.
“I wish I could fix it for her. I wish I could protect her from him.”
“You probably don’t want to hear this yet because you want to put Mel behind you before you think about moving on—and believe it or not, I support you in that—but the fact that you want to take her troubles away suggests a much deeper connection than your bargain. I know you never felt that way for Mel, and I can tell you that I never felt the need to protect Michelle like I do Beth… and it has nothing to do with how strong the woman is, Henry, because Beth proved beyond a doubt that she’s even stronger than Michelle is first when she reported the rape and then when she took the stand against Trey, and I’m damned sure Lindsay is stronger than Mel. It’s instinctive, and you might want to take that into consideration when you’re ready. In the meantime, get your ass back to work. This wood isn’t going to cut and load itself, and I’d like to get home to my wife sometime before midnight because she’s been hinting that it’s time to give Will a sibling.”
“You guys are finally thinking about having another baby?”
“I think so. There’s a bit more urgency these days because we aren’t getting any younger, and it’s beginning to feel like now or never.”
“I’ve never understood why you waited to long to have Will… and then to have another kid. Neither of you ever doubted that you wanted children like I did.”
“We promised ourselves to savor every moment of our lives together and not rush anything.” Nick grinned. “Dylan settled your mind, huh? In that case, we’d better get your firewood cut and loaded so you can get back to thinking about Lindsay and if she might be the one to make that happen for you.”
Henry stared at his brother. For once in his life, he wanted to talk about his emotional train wrecks, but Nick had made it quite clear that further discussion wasn’t going to be allowed.
“Subtle, Nick. Real subtle.”
Nick didn’t take the bait, so Henry jumped to his feet and picked up his chainsaw.
His conversation with his brother occupied his mind while they finished filling both trucks with firewood. Nick was definitely right that he’d never felt a need to protect Mel. Sure, he’d wanted to make sure she was taken care of and had even enjoyed spoiling her until she started taking advantage of his generosity, but that was the extent of it.
It was a want, not a need.
Nick climbed into his truck, and Henry braced his hands on the open window. “Thanks for helping today.”
“With what? The firewood or the advice?”
“Both.”
Nick nodded in acknowledgement, then chuckled. “I like this new you. I’m not sure what Lindsay did to bring it out of you, but it’s a good change. It’s nice to get to know my youngest brother again.”
Henry jokingly grumbled about being the youngest by only a few minutes but appreciated the gentle teasing.
“Well, we’d best get this back to your house and unloaded so I can get home to my beautiful wife. We still have to stop down at the main house, too, to figure out who we can get
to help bring the herds down next week.”
Henry thumped the roof of Nick’s cab and jogged over to his own. He slid in behind the wheel and gunned the engine, then followed his brother down the narrow, rocky road out of the ravine. The road hugged the base of the foothills even after it left the gulch until it turned into Billings Creek Road, at which point it smoothed out and widened. The driveway of the main ranch house was another mile down the road, which now followed Billings Creek through stands of cottonwoods and quaking aspen. In another week or two, the dark emerald leaves of those trees would turn to vibrant gold. Henry was looking forward to that, too, just like he was anticipating moving their herds down from the summer allotments with something akin to glee.
Lindsay would probably get a kick out of that, he mused as he turned into his parents’ driveway.
When he parked beside Nick, he noted a beat-up old pickup parked next to Aaron’s newer one. He didn’t recognize it.
“Any idea whose truck that is?” Henry asked Nick as they climbed out of their pickups.
“Nope. Maybe Dad found a new hand while we were out cutting firewood.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice?”
They headed inside and found everyone gathered in the kitchen. Henry stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted the guest leaning against the counter beside Aaron with his arms folded tightly across his chest and eyes wide with apprehension.
“What the hell is Jerry Mackey doing here?” Henry blurted before he could stop himself.
He glanced over the kid, who met his gaze briefly and winced. His medium brown hair was longish and resembled a mop, but his green-tinged hazel eyes were clear and alert if wary. Twenty-two or so now, he’d filled out a bit since Henry had last seen him, but he was still skinny. At five-eight, he was only an inch taller than Tracie, which made him seem even smaller compared to her husband and sons than he was; John, Nick, Aaron, and Henry all stood four inches taller with thicker, more heavily muscled frames. It’s no wonder, Henry mused, that Aaron so easily overpowered the kid two years ago.
He looked to his twin and noted a blossoming bruise on Aaron’s jaw. “And what the hell happened to your face?”
“What do you think happened to my face?” Aaron replied. “Jerry and I settled our differences… and then I offered him a job on the ranch.”
Henry lifted his brows in surprise. He had no hard feelings toward Jerry, but that didn’t mean he’d ever imagined this outcome. At best, he’d hoped the kid would eventually get over his grudge against Aaron and leave him alone. Maybe he hadn’t heard right. “You what?”
“We need an extra hand, and he needs work.”
“What’s his probation officer think of that?”
“He thought we were both nuts but then decided it might be a good idea.”
“I called Austin right after they arrived,” John said. “He’s willing to move into one of the bunkhouses and room with Jerry and teach him the ropes.”
“You got Austin to agree to fulltime?” Henry asked.
“Yep. He’s struggling a bit with his empty nest with Shane away at college, and not having to pay rent on their house will save him a lot of money. It didn’t take too much to convince him once I mentioned he’d have a new kid to train. Jerry doesn’t know much about ranching, but he does know a bit about construction and maintenance, and he’s willing to learn the rest. To start, he’ll probably be working mostly with you, Henry, fixing things. We’ll ease him into working with the livestock.”
“Hope you can keep up, kid,” Henry remarked lightly.
“I like to work,” Jerry retorted with a spark of challenge.
“In that case, welcome to the Lazy H. I’m Henry, by the way—Aaron’s twin.”
Henry extended his hand, and for a moment, the kid eyed it disbelievingly. At last, he cautiously shook it.
“You’re nervous, Jerry,” Nick observed. “Why?”
“I….” Again Jerry shook his head and tried again. “I can’t believe how nice you all are. I thought you’d all hate me for what happened to Aaron’s wife.”
“It was an accident,” Nick said gently. “You won’t find any animosity here, Jerry, but you will find a lot of sympathy. We haven’t forgotten that you lost someone you loved that day, too, just like we did. Nor have we forgotten how Sheriff Rogers and his buddy the county attorney railroaded you.”
“Believe me, kid,” Henry said. “We’ve all had our issues with Rogers and not because Aaron works with him. You’ll find he’s not very popular here in Northstar.”
“Thank you.” The young man flashed a smile. “Would it be all right if everyone called me Jeremiah? The only two people who called me Jerry are my cousin and my brother, and I’ve never liked it.”
“Of course it’s all right,” Tracie said. “We’ve just always heard you called Jerry. Truth be told, I like Jeremiah better, too.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Hammond.”
“None of that formality. You call us all by our first names.”
“Anyhow,” Henry interrupted. “I need to head home and get that firewood unloaded. Aaron, do you have a sec?”
Nodding, Aaron followed him into the living room. Henry turned to his twin, eyeing his twin for a moment before he spoke.
“This is quite the shocker.”
Aaron shrugged. “It’s time I move past what happened, don’t you think?”
“Absolutely. I just didn’t expect this to be the way you did it. Skye’s had quite a remarkable influence on you.”
“This has nothing to do with Skye. I’m finally in a place that I can forgive the past… and forgive myself for my part in what happened. Jerry isn’t the only one who made mistakes. I did, too. I should’ve just let him go or fought harder to see that he got a fair deal because I knew in my gut that he was just a dumb kid in a bad situation with little choice but to do what his cousin told him to do. It was stupid to agree to running drugs for his cousin, but it was also hope in a life that was pretty much devoid of hope.”
Henry chuckled. “Listen to you, waxing philosophical. Tell me something, Aaron. Why are you finally at the point that you can forgive the past? I’ll tell you why. Skye. She’s come into your life now that you’ve had sufficient time to grieve and opened your eyes again to the good in the world. That’s the truth whether you want to admit it or not.”
“Now who’s waxing philosophical?”
Henry embraced his brother. “It’s good to see my twin coming back again. I’d love to stay and chat, but—”
“Yeah, I know. Lindsay’s supposed to be calling.”
“Actually, no. She’s out to dinner with Skye, so we agreed she wouldn’t call tonight.”
“Bummed?”
“Very, but I’m also hungry, and that is why I’m going to call it a day. We’ll talk more about our lovely ladies later, though, all right? I still owe you a beer at the Bedspread since I ditched you on my first night back.”
“I’ll hold you to that, Hen.”
Henry ducked into the kitchen just long enough to bid farewell to everyone and grab Nick so they could get the firewood unloaded. They drove to his house, and while they tossed the blocks into a pile Henry would stack in his woodshed later, they spoke little. The only mention they made of Jerry—Jeremiah—Mackey was to comment on the “interesting” development. Henry was running low on energy and didn’t have any to spare on things other than thoughts of Lindsay. There would be plenty of time later to see how or if hiring Jeremiah would work out.
After Nick left for home, Henry trudged into his house.
His first inclination was to sprawl on the couch and wonder how many sore muscles he was going to have tomorrow—muscles that would’ve gotten him through a day of cutting firewood like it was nothing before he’d left the ranch in search of adventure in the big city. Admitting that he was either getting soft or old… or both, he ignored the call of the couch and headed to the kitchen to pull something out to cook for dinner. He glanced toward the answering machine a
nd saw it flashing with a new message. While he defrosted a small package of elk steak, he hit play, thinking perhaps Lindsay had decided to call after all before she and Noah headed to dinner with Skye.
The message wasn’t from Lindsay.
“Henry, it’s Mel.”
Immediately, he reached toward the delete message button.
“Please don’t delete this,” she continued.
He hesitated with his finger hovering and his teeth clenched as a stabbing pain lanced through his chest at the sound of her voice and the memories attached to it. There was a long pause, and he had plenty of time to wonder if she had needed to search for something she could say that would prevent him from erasing her message. He knew he should just delete the message, but a masochistic curiosity seized him, and he couldn’t seem to make his finger do the job.
“I really need to talk to you. About the salon and the money I owe you and… other things. Please call me back. I… Just call. Okay?”
Henry frowned at his answering machine long after Melanie’s message ended. There were no others. His gut warned him to leave well enough alone and ignore her plea, but she did still owe him money, and if he ever hoped to get it back, he’d have to call her someday.
Do I even want it back?
Lindsay’s face suddenly appeared in his head, and for the first time since he’d loaned Mel the ten grand for the salon, he considered writing off the debt… and not because it would be less painful than dealing with her. Lindsay’s plight had given him a new perspective, and it made him feel guilty as hell to think that paying back the debt might put Melanie and Dylan in a financial bind. He might not want anything to do with her, but he wasn’t callous, and at any rate, he didn’t need the money.
It was probably stupid, but he called her back.
“Henry,” she breathed when he announced himself. “I wasn’t sure you’d return my call.”
“I nearly didn’t. What do you want, Mel? And don’t try to draw me into conversation. Just say what you need to say.”
Once Burned Page 15
