"Like I said, I still have some studying to do for tomorrow's exam." She rose and held out her hand to him. "It was very nice to meet you Doctor O'Malley. This was... a welcome distraction."
He got to his feet and enclosed her hand in both of his. "Likewise, Miss Davenport."
She gave him a closed-mouth smile and tried to withdraw her hand but he held on.
"I parked my car at the bookstore. Let me give you a ride back to your dorm."
"Thank you, but I don't live on campus. I can easily catch the bus from here to my apartment building." She tried not to notice how firmly he was hanging on to her hand.
"Nonsense. It's late and I tricked you into keeping me company for an hour when you needed to be studying. At least let me save you from waiting for a bus."
He was just being logical, she thought, and she wasn't even sure when a bus was due. "That would be helpful." With that, he released her hand and they went outside. "Are you scheduled for any more speaking engagements?" It was the only impersonal question she could quickly think of to fill the short distance to his car.
"I'll be at six schools over the next ten days. My editor assured me it's the best way to get the book talked about quickly. Tomorrow afternoon I'll be at Brown."
Seconds later, he was opening the passenger door of his car and she stepped in. Giving him driving directions one piece at a time eliminated the need for more conversation until he came to a stop in front of her building's entrance.
"Thank you," she said, clutching the bookstore bag in one hand and her purse in the other. She was not taking any chance of his holding her hand again. "Good luck on the rest of your tour." She cracked open the door then remembered what he'd asked her to do for him. "Oh, I almost forgot. I promise to check with my father about his collection, but how would you like me to let you know what he says?"
He chuckled. "I really must be distracted." He turned toward the back seat then frowned. "My cards are in my briefcase and it's in the trunk. Any chance you have a piece of paper and pen?"
"Sure." She pulled a pen out of her purse and tore off a piece of the bookstore's paper bag.
He wrote down his office and cell numbers, and his email address, and finished by adding Connor at the end. As he handed back the paper and her pen, he said, "I'd like to be able to reach you also... just in case I don't hear from you, say in a year or so."
Since she felt certain he was far too busy to bother her needlessly, she tore off another piece of the bag and wrote down her name and phone number. But as she handed him the scrap of paper, he captured her hand again.
To her complete surprise, he placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. "Thank you for making this a memorable day."
She swallowed hard and stared at the spot he had just kissed. It felt funny.
He let go of her hand but touched her chin with his index finger. "Do I need to apologize for that?" he asked softly.
She raised her gaze and met his eyes. He seemed closer than necessary. And she couldn't seem to make herself move away. She managed to whisper, "No."
"What is it about you that makes me want to forget about everything else?" There was confusion in his voice and wonder in his eyes. When she didn't answer, he made another confession. "Your hand isn't what I wanted to kiss."
She took a breath and screwed up the nerve to say what she wanted from him. "I think... I think I'd like to know what it would feel like if you... kissed my mouth... if you wouldn't mind." She closed her eyes, tilted her head back, pursed her lips, and waited for her first real kiss.
Instead of feeling his mouth touching hers, his finger stroked her cheek. She opened her eyes and instantly saw that he was leaning back against the door, as far from her as possible without getting out of the car. She pushed the passenger door open to escape the humiliation but he grasped her arm.
"Lilli, wait. I wanted to, believe me. I mean I really wanted to. And normally I would have happily accepted such a sweet invitation and not given it another thought. I don't know, maybe I suddenly developed a conscience, but something told me kissing you the way I want to, well, it would be a mistake. At least for tonight. So, here's what I propose. If, on February fourteenth, you still think you'd like me to kiss you, call me, and I'll come back here to properly follow through. But if you change your mind between now and then, for any reason, you don't need to tell me anything."
* * *
Lilli blinked as she felt herself return to the present and frowned at the reflection in the mirror. Of all her memories involving Connor, why would that one have played out in minute-to-minute detail? She couldn't remember a single time when the mirror hadn't replayed a scene connected to what she had in mind and she had definitely been thinking about making love with Connor. Their first encounter was the least sexual of all their time together.
She reviewed that day with her conscious mind and, considering her innocence and the speed at which their relationship escalated afterward, she knew Connor's actions had been extremely chivalrous. And although there wasn't even one hot kiss, he had awakened a desire in her for something other than academic achievement.
Although it was almost unheard of among her classmates, Lilli was still a virgin when she'd met Connor, not because she was holding out for Mr. Perfect or a wedding ring, but she simply couldn't see the point in expending any of her energy on something she had no interest in. In the time it took to drink one cup of coffee, sex had gone from the bottom of her priority list all the way to the top.
By her twenty-first birthday, Lilli had no doubt about what she wanted from Connor O'Malley and wasted no time denying it.
So why not that scene? The birthday celebration that winter evening had begun a bit awkwardly but ended with a bang, several big bangs in fact.
Or why not the picnic by the waterfall the first time he came to the island? Or the night he put the engagement ring on her finger? Why replay how they met?
A tinkling sound, like wind chimes, grabbed her attention. It seemed to be coming from the balcony outside her bedroom. She rose and moved the drapery aside just enough to take a peak. There was nothing out there to explain the sound but what she saw gave her a chill. The full moon had just risen above the horizon and a brilliant beam of light was streaking across the ocean and onto a particular spot on the beach.
She remembered another night thirteen years ago when a full moon sent out a beam exactly like that. The mirror had allowed her to relive her and Connor's first hours together. The moonbeam was an eerie reminder of their last.
It meant something. Of that she was certain. But what?
"You need to remember."
Lilli whirled around to see who had dared to enter her bedroom. But no one was there. She had clearly heard a man's voice, however. "Grandpa? Is that you? I don't need a reminder. I could never forget how Connor and I met."
Several seconds went by before she heard the voice again, but this time it sounded as though it came from far away. "Remember the girl you were. It's time..."
The voice drifted off and a shiver was the only confirmation Lilli received. She had just been visited by a Davenport spirit, possibly her grandfather, Robert, but the admonishing tone made her think more of her father, Chester.
Why would one of them talk to her tonight, after all the times she had called out to them in the past? And, if it was Robert and he only had a momentary connection, why would he waste it like that, when all she ever wanted to hear from him was how he'd died?
It wasn't like she'd actually forgotten what she was like back then—young, naive, trusting her feelings and filled with the confidence that her future would be everything she dreamed it to be.
But then Connor didn't return when he was supposed to, which meant he was prevented or chose not to. Either way, she'd lost him and the girl she used to be ceased to exist.
Nothing good could come from remembering any of that.
Chapter 10
"I was so envious of you back in high school," Maggie admitted. After enjoying
the delectable picnic, they'd stretched out on the lounge to watch the moon rise over the ocean.
Noah grazed her arm with his fingertips. "Because of my beautiful long hair or long eyelashes?"
She giggled. "Well, those were two of your most talked-about features. But, no, it was because of all the places you'd been to and things you'd seen. I remember you had moved to Clarksville from Germany, and before that it was, um, Hawaii?"
His chest automatically tightened but he forced his voice to sound casual. "Japan. Hawaii was before that and San Antonio before that. I was too young to appreciate the fact that I got to stay there long enough to get through all of grade school."
"And when you left Tennessee, you went to..."
"Fort Bragg, in North Carolina. Then there was another stint in Germany before I could get off the Army train by going to college."
She shook her head. "Wow. I have yet to leave the continental United States. Tell me, what was your favorite place of all?"
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a slow, calming breath. "Clarksville, Tennessee, because that's where I met the best friend I ever had. It was also my least favorite place because I had to leave so soon."
She gave him a soft kiss and a smile. "Thank you, but I meant favorite like—"
His expression tightened again. "Could we change the subject please?"
She finally noticed how tense he was. "What's the matter? Did I say something—"
He cut her off with a quick kiss on her mouth. "Of course not. I'm sorry. I make a point of not thinking about those years."
"Oh. I didn't realize—" She eased out of his arms and sat up to look at his face. "I just got the same feeling I had before... at lunch, when you asked me about what adventure I planned for after this assignment. You keep insisting I have a talent. Well, if I do, it's telling me you're hiding something. It must involve me or else I wouldn't feel it. But I don't see what I have to do with any of the places you lived."
He frowned and narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm starting to lose my fascination with your special talents." When she just kept staring at him without speaking, he groaned. "You're not going to let this go are you?"
She shook her head. "I could, but it would change how comfortable I am with you."
"If I tell you, it'll probably change anyway."
"Then you have nothing to lose."
It took him a few more seconds to give in. "Fine, but remember that I warned you." After another pause, he delivered the statement he thought explained everything. "I'm not like my father. I could never be happy with the life he had."
She tilted her head. "And I'm not like my mother."
"No, but I'm afraid you might be like mine."
Her eyes abruptly widened. "I only talked to her once, or maybe twice. She seemed nice enough but I don't remember thinking we had anything in common... besides liking you."
He snorted. "The reason you hardly talked to her was that she was hardly ever there. A good part of that year and the next, she was in Afghanistan, unofficially, of course. My parents had a relationship that not many couples would choose but somehow it worked for them. She was already on the officer track in the army when my dad met her and he understood from the start that he could support her goals or move on. He loved her enough to follow her to the corners of the Earth with no assurance that they would ever have a permanent home or that she would not come home to him in a box one day. The only thing he asked was that she have one child with him."
Maggie took advantage of his pause to comment. "I gather you were that child. But I remember you and your dad having a good relationship."
"We had a great relationship," Noah said sincerely. "He was a better father and mother than a lot of kids have. And I am absolutely certain he is still completely happy with the choices he made in his life."
"What are they doing now?"
"They finally own a home. Outside of D.C., in Virginia. Mother retired from active duty as a full colonel, but she's still bucking for General through some sort of national security consultant position. Dad is still the one who makes sure she never has to be bothered by the little things that are part of ordinary people's lives. It took me a really long time to accept the fact that he never resented her ambition the way I did."
He was quiet again for a bit before continuing. "As far as I could tell, he never questioned what she was doing or whether she loved him as much as he loved her. But I could see that neither of us would ever be exciting enough to compete with the adventures the army offered."
Maggie nodded slowly. "And that's why you wanted an old-fashioned wife. But it doesn't explain what I have to do with any of it. And don't lie or give me some half-truth."
He made a face. "I told you how crazy you made me as a kid and how it tore me up when I had to leave. Now we're together again as adults, and I'm having a really hard time not thinking about a future with you."
"That doesn't sound bad to me." She leaned forward to kiss him but he held her back.
"But it does to me. You admitted that you get bored easily and need risky adventures in between tedious assignments. Being with you, being able to hold you, and the way you respond to me... well, now I can barely imagine a life without you in it. And at the same time, I can't imagine having a life with someone who needs a fix of adrenalin on a regular basis in order to put up with an ordinary life."
As understanding set in, annoyance did as well. "What do you know about an ordinary life? Believe me, ordinary people do not stay in exclusive resort penthouses for months at a time, or usually go with the chef's recommendation in five-star restaurants. Ordinary people don't eat truffles. Or have assistants. Nor do they have the luxury of working when the mood hits them. Ordinary people have minimum wage jobs and live in apartments because they can't afford to buy a home."
He opened his mouth but she pressed her finger to his lips. "No. I'm not finished. You had a father who loved you and showed you how to make compromises to be happy. You had a mother who showed you how to go for whatever you want no matter the obstacles. You learned about the world and the people in it by real experience. You went to college and came out with an opportunity to have a dream job, while other graduates couldn't even get hired in a coffee shop because they were now over-qualified for minimum wage. If you had had an ordinary life, your imagination may never have developed enough to become a bestselling horror author.
"I admire what your mother has accomplished, but I am nothing like her. If I had a major career goal or even one ounce of ambition, do you think I'd be working temp jobs? The only goal I've ever had is to live a good life, to see as much of the world as possible and to experience as much good, safe fun as I can afford. I told you about some of the boring jobs I've had, but I've also had some really interesting ones. In fact I just started one that is so fascinating, I'm having more fun than any adventure I ever had before."
She took a quick breath then finished her defense. "I have lived in the same apartment for five years. Yes, I like to travel, but I always want to have a home base to return to. And, by the way, if I was ever fortunate enough to have children, I would want to be as much a part of their upbringing as your father was in yours."
He watched her with a wary expression for a moment, in case she had more to say before he spoke. When her expression softened a bit, he took his chance.
"In other words, I've been a spoiled brat who's lucky to be sitting here with the most beautiful, brilliant, talented, sensitive, and tolerant woman on the planet." He sighed. "You're right... about everything. And I'm truly sorry for jumping to a conclusion based on very little. Forgive me?"
She leaned forward and kissed him softly. "Of course. It's only fair since I thought you were gay all these years."
He grinned. "And don't forget how you tortured me for a year. I think that alone is worth my being forgiven for a mistake or two."
She curled into his body. "All right. I'll give you that, but you're only allowed one more mistake before I get to lectur
e you again."
He hugged her firmly. "So are we good?"
"Not good. We're great."
"Let's take a walk," Noah suggested, drawing her to her feet. "We won't need these." He shed his robe and helped her out of hers.
Despite being totally exposed several times, she still felt self-conscious in her old, one-piece bathing suit. If this situation had ever crossed her mind, she would have bought a new one. But as his appreciative gaze slid over her body she guessed the faded fabric wouldn't be staying on for long anyway.
The moon had risen high in the sky while they'd been in the cabana, and between its brilliance and the clear, star-studded sky, they had no trouble seeing where they were going. They strolled along with their arms around each other's waists, but they were not alone on the beach and that awareness kept them from doing anything more intimate.
Maggie was perfectly content to remain quiet... for about two minutes. "Okay, I agreed not to talk about it while we ate, but I'm really anxious to hear what your research turned up today."
He gave her waist a little squeeze. "Quite a bit actually, and I'm feeling really good about all the ideas I got. I found dozens of real-life mysteries and reports of supernatural phenomena that I could work with. Of course Robert Davenport's supposed suicide still stands out for me."
Her stomach soured a bit as he went on with obvious excitement.
"The era of the 1920s generally makes a great backdrop for almost any story, but the family's insistence that Robert would never have killed himself opens the door to several possible plots. A straight murder mystery is obvious but too boring for my readers. Evil demon lurking in the hotel hallways is more my staple, but there's also the angle of him hanging around as a ghost, terrorizing anyone who stays in his suite. Or he could have possessed some innocent person to carry out his retribution on... well, I'm not sure who might have wanted him dead or why. I haven't developed that thought much."
Some Time Away (Lovers in Time Series, Book 3): Time Travel Romance Page 11
