by Mia Henry
Amber responded softly with a ‘Thank you.’ And then added, ‘Please look after my babies.’
Ella felt confident that they had left on amicable terms.
After thanking the officers and the Child Welfare official, Richard and Ella left. Still with heavy hearts, they now made their way to face the next heart wrenching challenge. Two little girls had just been told they would not be going back to their mother.
Chapter 19
THE EXPOSÉ
It was a recurring pattern. There were daily episodes of screaming, threats, name-calling, punching, slapping and object throwing. The tension had reached explosive proportions, like a boiling pressurized vessel it was about to explode. More often than not, the emotional and verbal abuse would resort to violence.
Today, Chad had just had enough. He retaliated. He felt compelled to use the same approach; violence. He decided to fight fire with fire. The result was a blazing inferno.
Amber wasn’t about to give up her power and control. She disappeared into her bedroom and in flashes of rage opened the middle drawer of her chest of drawers and removed her gun, which she had hidden under her cardigans. She then went outside and fired a shot. She walked back into the house pointed the firearm at Chad, walked over to him thrusting it onto him and pushed him over with the muzzle.
‘The next shot you hear will be a fuck’n bullet going through your fuck’n brains,’ she shouted.
He managed to steady himself and in a reflex gesture rapidity grabbed her arm and yanked the gun from her hand. Pedro filled in an equal measure with fear and terror at now seeing Chad carrying the gun grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and with a tremendous force punched him in the face.
As Chad stumbled onto the floor, Amber screamed at him, ‘Get the fuck out of here!’
Slumped on the floor, feeling disoriented, with blurred vision and ringing ears, he didn’t say a word. He froze, petrified to even blink.
Amber picked up the phone and called the police. ‘I need you to please come over to my farm immediately. My life is in danger,’ cried Amber.
She needed to be in control, even if that required subjugating her partner by fear. With the destructive force of a hurricane she had made him feel powerless. She had him forcibly removed by the police.
Chad had had enough. At the police station he reported the use of drugs and the peddling that would regularly occur on the farm and further stated that she was in the possession of an unlicensed gun.
His next stop was Child Welfare.
There he confirmed the reports that Amber was unstable, depressed, abusive and aggressive due to her cocaine addiction. He further added that she had a long history of drug abuse since the age of eighteen. He reported to Child Welfare how she had recently, in a fit of rage, struck her son so hard with a golf club that it had snapped. She also had hit his car with a metal object. There were no values or morals and she had neither any respect for the educational system nor was concerned about her children’s educational development. He would often have to take the initiative to deliver the girls to school because if he didn’t then they just wouldn’t go.
With the school already having lodged a complaint and an investigation under way, this was all the evidence that the Child Welfare needed to have the girls urgently removed from their mother. That’s how the matter got to court.
With the collection of affidavits from family, friends and business acquaintances the courts could now rule on custody of the children.
In only a few months the ruling would be made.
Chapter 20
DESPAIR & DESOLATION
Richard and Ella were dreading getting back to the girls. That Saturday had already been emotionally draining and now they had to put on a brave façade and do their best to ease the blow that had just been dealt the girls; being removed from their mother’s care.
They arrived to find both girls were sitting on a bench in the park chatting to their teachers. As soon as Stella saw Richard and Ella, she got up and ran towards them. Ella held out her arms to give her a hug. With tears welling up she held Stella tightly in her arms for some time. Although it was obvious that Stella had been crying she wasn’t displaying too much emotion.
Still entangled in her aunt’s embrace, Stella softly uttered, ‘We coming to live with you, Aunty Ella.’
Ella still holding Stella tightly responded, ‘When I told Amy you were coming to live with us, she was so excited. She can’t wait for you to get there!’
‘I am too,’ was Stella’s response.
Gina had stayed with her teacher and was crying inconsolably. She couldn’t comprehend why she was not returning to her mother. Pacifying her was difficult. Ella suggested a stop over at the drug store to get something to calm her down. They were recommended some homeopathic drops, which did seem to help a little. Eventually overcome by emotional exhaustion Gina fell asleep in the car.
They headed straight to the airport, which was a good three hours away. Ella and the girls tickets to fly to the Bay were already booked. They arrived at the airport late in the afternoon. They said their goodbyes to Richard and Eduardo whilst Gina, clinging on to Ella, still intermittently burst into tears.
Richard was both exhausted and emotional when saying goodbye. He would see them again in a week and thereafter he would fly down to the Bay every weekend to visit them.
The Kennedy’s would now go from being a family of five to one of seven. They all embraced the new change and welcomed the girls into their home with open arms. However the road ahead would not always be easy. There would be twists and turns, tests and trials but this journey was not about what happened along the way; it was about the end of the road, their destination.
In the haven of the Kennedy household Stella and Gina could heal their emotional wounds, restore balance and blossom to their full potential.
Chapter 21
AFFIDAVITS
Obtaining affidavits from family, friends and business acquaintances proved to be no problem.
Firstly there was the testimony of Monica and William; family.
They confirmed many of the events that had transpired and were very concerned about the well being of the girls. Monica testified to witnessing years of deterioration in Amber’s emotional state.
Also Amber’s son, Pedro, was already living proof of the damage inflicted upon a child being raised by a mother who had no regard for the well being and education of her children. A suicide attempt and drug abuse by her twelve year old son, permitting him to smoke weed, leaving dagga cookies within reach of a toddler, violent behavior in front of the children, mood swings, arguments, temper tantrums, violently striking her children, lying in bed for days, not taking her children to school because it was too much effort, all constituted an extremely unhealthy, unstable family environment.
Monica stated her concerns regarding Amber’s addiction. How addicts will sell anything for their next fix. Amber had sold her car, the 4 wheeler and other valuable items. She was selling peoples horses for them and then not giving them the money. She was receiving a hefty maintenance that exceeded what average families jointly earned, yet her children were often hungry. They were driven to beg the farm laborers for food. If she wasn’t surviving on the money she was receiving then what debt was she possibly running? Debt and drugs are a disastrous mix. Drug peddlers do not take kindly to being owed money. Their underworld is volatile and dangerous and the reality check was that her girls were right there, stuck in the middle of potentially perilous and vicious crossfire. It was altogether a tragic situation for the girls.
So Monica and William, Amber’s own brother, fully supported the removal of the children from their mother’s care.
There was the school’s testimony.
They were extremely concerned with the condition of the girls. Other school children would often have to share their lunch with them. They appeared m
alnourished. Stella was too thin and looked disheveled, wearing clothing that appeared dirty and crumpled. They were often absent and the days that they were at school, they would arrive late. Stella’s performance at school deteriorated. She could not concentrate and was failing all her subjects.
Amber did not attend three school appointments that the school had set up in order to address these issues.
The school arranged for extra lessons for Stella but Amber would not take her despite the fact that Richard paid extra towards the transport. Stella was caught cheating in an examination. On one occasion Stella sent a message to Amber, stating that if she took her to school she would commit suicide. Stella looked extremely unhappy and constantly sad. The school in desperation had referred the matter to Child Welfare. The girls were also tested and counseled by the school psychologist. Amber refused permission to allow those sessions to be used for legal purposes. Stella failed the year. Gina scraped through, but remedial classes were recommended.
Then there was the testimony of friends.
One friend declared that Amber’s attitude towards her children was one of disdain. They would come to her for attention but she would send them away. There was no structure as far as meal times were concerned; it would get quite late but the children would not have had any dinner yet.
‘Whenever Stella was at my home, she would ask for food,’ stated this friend. She found it disturbing that Stella was always scrawny and hungry.
This same friend added that Stella was a compulsive liar. Even her daughter would say to her, ‘Stella lies a lot.’
About Gina, she stated, ‘Gina was always very affectionate towards me with lots of hugs and kisses. She would hold onto my legs and say, ‘Please, please, please, can I come over and stay at your house?’
Another friend had this to say in her affidavit.
‘Stella is very thin. I was personally concerned that perhaps Stella had bulimia because when in my home she had a very healthy appetite. I have actually watched her after a meal to see whether she goes to the bathroom immediately after eating or not. But she doesn’t. I realized it was not bulimia but that she wasn’t eating properly at home.’
This friend also stated that Gina loved Chad. She would tell her, ‘Chad does everything for us. He takes us to school, he fetches us, takes us to parties, he fetches the tef, he looks after the horses. He does everything.’
This friend further declared, ‘I do not believe Amber would supervise her son, Pedro. I do not feel comfortable having my daughter stay there.’
There was an affidavit from Amber’s first husband, Aldo.
He declared that during their time together, she would purchase expensive horse saddles and horse related items. She was not earning any money with the saddles or item’s but simply did it for her enjoyment and pleasure, despite, there not being enough money for food, not even for their baby.
He added that she was always very aggressive in their disagreements and fights. She would throw things at him, verbally abuse him and always used extremely foul language.
He denied her accusations that he was abusive, aggressive and an absent neglective father.
He confirmed that after his son, Pedro’s suicidal attempt he had entered into rehab.
Thereafter, Pedro was sent to him, arriving in dirty creased clothes. He had unbrushed hair, unbrushed teeth, sleep in his eyes and dirty green nostrils. He was only twelve years old and already smoking.
He confirmed the incident of finding him unconscious after sniffing gasoline. He had no table manners, was manipulative and he had caught Pedro stealing money from his wallet.
He was Godless, and refused to conform to their house rules. He couldn’t trust him and certainly wouldn’t trust him with his daughter.
He categorically stated that he would not trust Amber to look after any of his children, that she is a compulsive liar and he did not view her to be a fit mother.
He too recommended that for the girls safety they would be better off without their mother. ‘They will sadly end up like my son, if not worse,’ he stated.
There were many other affidavits but the battle for custody continued, leaving a trail of lies and deception.
CHAPTER 22
THE AFTERMATH
Although Ella felt that she had left Amber amicably, it did not take long for Amber’s aggression and erratic behavior to get the mastery over herself. She would launch into an attack, defending herself, and brushing off every obstacle in her path with lies and deception. Right then, she felt her biggest obstacle was Ella.
When they arrived in the Bay, both girls were a lot calmer and accepting. It didn’t take long to hear them laughing and joking with their cousins. Within a few days, Ella was able to shift things around in her household so that each girl could have her own bedroom and her own space. They loved their new bedrooms.
Ella immediately arranged for the girls to see a psychologist. The psychologist was struck by how emaciated and pale Stella appeared. She struggled to concentrate and couldn’t even draw properly. She was traumatized and unable to focus.
‘I love my mom but I am very angry with her,’ Stella would say. She would add, ‘She is such a liar!’
She would often say this to Ella and repeated the same to the psychologist.
Nonetheless she was extremely sad that she was taken away from her mother without saying goodbye.
The psychologist confirmed that there was a borderline personality relationship between Stella and her mother. The relationship seemed to be obsessive and co-dependent, one based on pain and suffering due to an erratic communication style, that led to joy followed by sorrow. The psychologist further confirmed that Stella had no issues concerning living with her aunt and family. She socialized easy with her cousins, and their friends. She often commented on the ‘exotic foods’ that they would eat because her aunt Ella cooks so well.
There was nothing exotic about Ella’s cooking. To Stella it was exotic because home cooked meals were something foreign to her.
She had experienced a lot of distress and anxiety living with her mother’s drug habits. Stella would ask, “what happens when you smoke dagga and take cocaine?’ A question that she not only asked the psychologist, but also often asked at the dinner table. She hated her mother’s constant fighting with and shouting at Chad. Worst of all she worried about her mother’s safety. There was blame shifting. She would blame Chad for her all mothers’ woes.
The psychologist would further confirm that although Stella was angry she also tried to be her mother’s protector.
School had connotations of anxiety, failure and bad feelings. This was evident by the state she would get herself into, every time Rob drove the children to school each morning. Stella would nibble her fingers, appeared drawn and anxious and felt nauseous. Rob encouraged her daily, to persevere, reassuring her that she would one day soar like an eagle.
Regarding Gina the psychologist reported that she would say, ‘I miss my mom. I cry’, but there were no tears. She appeared happy and played with ease. She spoke about flying and said she was not scared when she was in an airplane because she would fly with Stella and Amy. She built puzzles, drew pictures and was able to focus.
Stella was amazed that Gina did not have a problem with the new school. She couldn’t understand how easy it was for Gina.
Gina would say that when she was at home her mother’s television was so loud she couldn’t do homework. She said her mother’s smoking was a problem for her and she had a habit of going out late at night. She was happy living with her aunt and her cousins. She liked her new school and she was proud of her uniform.
Gina proudly told the psychologist, ‘My aunt took me to the dentist to have my teeth fixed,’
‘My teeth were so sore, for a long time, but my mother did nothing’, she would tell Ella.
Within the first week of them moving to th
e Bay, Ella took them to the dentist. They both had severe tooth decay due to dental neglect. The dentist on hearing their plight didn’t charge for his services despite the girls needing a number of fillings.
They had their eyes tested. The teachers in their previous school thought Gina had a spatial problem. The optometrist confirmed there was a cross dominance but otherwise her eyes appeared healthy and functioned well.
Medical examination of the girls indicated that they were under weight and malnourished. Stella’s ribs were obviously protruding. Ella promptly started them on vitamin supplements.
As soon as they got to the Bay, Ella immediately arranged a meeting with a school. She chose to enroll them at the same school where her children had been. Ella’s children had moved on to secondary school. Although Stella and Amy were of the same age, Stella was already one year behind Amy and now she had failed the year again.
Ella met with the school principal and pleaded with him to allow Stella to move on to the next grade despite her failing. She reassured him that with lots of coaching, support and structure she was sure Stella would cope. She was already enduring so much turmoil in her life and didn’t need the added humiliation of seeing children her age way ahead of her. It would do her more good than harm as it would boost her self confidence and self esteem and would be a goal for her to aspire to; if they could just give her a chance. The principal needed to make enquiries with the School Board regarding the legalities concerning Ella’s request to move Stella to the next grade despite her failing.
Ella was delighted when the principal called her back to say that they had acceded to her request.
It didn’t take too long before the girls started to adapt well to their new school. This was reflected in the good marks Stella was achieving. It boosted her confidence and that initial fear she was experiencing slowly dwindled away. The girls soon began to thrive both emotionally and physically. Reports were coming in from the school as to how they were excelling in their schoolwork. They had begun to flourish as was evident in their appearance, their schoolwork and their constant laughter and general happiness.
