by J. Nathan
“Let’s move onto the custody portion of these proceedings,” the judge said.
Charles’ lawyers presented their case first.
Sitting there listening to them point out every reason why I wasn’t a fit parent crushed me, especially knowing that everything I did—every decision I made—was for CJ. Charles’ lucrative salary and the fact that I hadn’t had a job since I was in college didn’t look good. I just hoped when Jerry had his chance to speak, he explained it was at Charles’ urging that I stayed home. Charles’ lawyers also argued that I’d introduced a new man into CJ’s life so soon after his father left. They made sure to add that this “new man” was no longer in the picture and implied that I would continue to have a revolving door of men in my house which would be detrimental to my son.
Jerry presented our case next. He argued many points, including the late hours Charles worked. And unlike me, who had parents nearby to assist me, Charles’ parents had just recently moved to Arizona and were unable to assist him. As a result, Charles would have to hire a stranger to care for CJ when he wasn’t home—which was most of the time. Jerry also stressed that uprooting CJ from the only home he’d ever known would be detrimental. As would pulling him from school a quarter of the way through the year. I loved Jerry for playing up the fact that I was a graduate student who maintained a job, a household, and raised a child. That seemed to fare well in the judge’s eyes, as he smiled and nodded at me while Jerry spoke. Jerry closed by bringing to light Charles’ infidelity and the stipulations he’d set forth for me in his quest to separate me from Trace, using CJ as a pawn.
Once Jerry finished, I released a long breath and unclenched my fingers that had turned white from wringing. The future now sat in the hands of the judge. I just hoped he realized how much I loved my son and how much I needed him in my life.
The judge glanced between Charles and me. “These proceedings are never easy, and I appreciate you not parading a slew of witnesses in here to make this any more difficult than it already must be for you. When we get married, we never imagine it will end this way. And while you may have fallen out of love with one another, I can see you both love your son very much. Would you mind if I ask the two of you a few questions about him?”
Charles and I both shook our heads.
He looked to Charles first. “What does CJ like to do in his free time?”
I watched Charles search for an answer, one he clearly didn’t know. “Play flag football.”
The judge turned to me.
“Charles is right. He plays flag football, but he loves basketball, playing catch, and fishing. He’s also a great little artist.”
The judge glanced back to Charles. “And what kind of personality would you say he has?”
“He’s shy,” Charles said, almost before the words were out of the judge’s mouth.
“Actually, he’s the sweetest boy you’ll ever meet. He’s kind and compassionate and he loves to joke around. He’s also really smart and can tell you all the state capitals in alphabetical order by state.”
The judge looked back to Charles. “And why is it that you think you should have physical custody of CJ?”
“Because she isn’t fit to raise him. Her extracurricular activities will get in the way.”
The judge glanced to me, one of his eyebrows arched.
I ignored the rage bubbling inside me and spoke from my heart. “You asked why I want physical custody of my son. That’s easy. Because I can’t imagine living without him there with me every day. He adds light to a room simply by walking in it. You can’t help but smile with him around.” I blinked back the tears in my eyes. “I want to be there for every moment, big or small. I want to be the one with the band aid when he scrapes his knee. I want to be the one who laughs when he tells a silly story about what happened at school. I want to be on the receiving end of his hugs because he gives amazing hugs.” I wiped the tears that now leaked out the sides of my eyes. “I want to love him more than anything in this universe because he deserves that.”
The judge nodded. “Thank you both. I’m going to need some time to deliberate. Since the holiday’s upon us, I don’t want to drag this out for you. It shouldn’t take long to come to a decision and complete the court order. Why don’t you go get a bite to eat, and we’ll reconvene at two.” With that he stood.
We all jumped to our feet as he turned and exited the room.
Charles and his lawyers quickly filed out, leaving Jerry and me sitting there in the now silent room.
I looked to him. “So? What do you think?”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to jinx us, but I think it went well. I think he could see how much you love CJ and how much of an asshole Charles is.”
I only slightly allowed myself to believe it. “You think so?”
“Your answers were amazing.”
“They were the truth,” I said.
“I don’t think there’s any way he could believe Charles is the better parent for CJ.”
Unexpectedly, the door opened and the judge stepped back inside the room, startling when he found us still sitting there. “Sorry,” he said. “Just forgot something.” He grabbed a folder from the table and turned to leave. But he didn’t. He stopped and looked back at me. “I hear we have a friend in common.”
“We do?” I asked.
He nodded. “Trace Forester.”
My body stilled. “How do you know Trace?”
A small smile tipped his lips. “Let’s just say I’m a big fan of his. Though I’d reckon he’s an even bigger fan of yours.” With that, he turned and walked out of the room. The click of the door closing behind him nearly echoed off the walls.
“Holy shit,” Jerry whispered.
Holy shit was right.
* * *
Three hours later, I was a newly single woman and CJ’s custodial parent. Charles would have him two weekends a month which, in all honesty, was probably more than he could handle without his parents there to help.
As I sat in the driver’s seat of my car after signing the court documents, I was physically unable to start the engine. My arms and legs still trembled. As brave as I tried to be in that room, I had everything to lose. That knowledge wouldn’t let me eat or sleep for the weeks leading up to the proceedings. Now that I’d won, I had no idea what to do with myself.
I glanced down at the text on my phone I’d sent to Trace. Thank you.
It remained unanswered.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Thanksgiving
Marin
The euphoria from the previous day still hadn’t worn off as the remains of our Thanksgiving feast filled the table.
“I’m going to explode if I put one more thing in my mouth,” my dad said, slouching back in his dining room chair.
“Marin, you outdid yourself,” my mom added.
“Only the best for my three favorite people.” I glanced to the sofa where CJ slept soundly. The food overload knocked him out.
The ringing of the doorbell grabbed our attention.
“You expecting someone?” my dad asked.
I shook my head as I stood, moving toward it warily. I had a slight idea who it could be, but since he still hadn’t responded to my text, I couldn’t be sure.
I pulled open the door. My stomach dipped as goosebumps scampered over my skin.
Trace stood there. His light blue button-down shirt mirrored his blue eyes. “Hey,” he said as though I was the most welcome sight he’d seen in a long time.
I swallowed down my sudden nervousness. “Hi.”
He opened his arms and stepped into me, catching me off guard in a hug. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
I patted his back and quickly stepped back. Worst hug ever. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
“You must be Trace,” my dad’s voice traveled over my shoulder. He stepped up beside me—saving me from the awkwardness I’d created—and extended his hand to Trace who shook it. “Good to meet you. Come on in and join us.�
�
Trace brushed carefully by me and approached my mom still seated at the table. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Same to you. We’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Mom,” I said under my breath.
“From CJ,” she explained.
“Trace?” CJ’s sleepy voice carried over from the sofa.
Trace spun around and walked over to him, fitting his big body in the small space beside him on the sofa. “Hey buddy, happy Thanksgiving.”
CJ sat up and wrapped his arms tightly around Trace. I glanced to my parents who both wore the same sad smiles. It sucked that I’d kept them apart. Sucked that I was forced to. “Want to see my new room?”
“You went and got a new room while I’ve been gone?” Trace asked him.
“Sorry.” CJ jumped up and pulled Trace up with him, leading him by hand toward the stairs.
Trace looked to me. “Is it okay?”
I nodded as he trailed up the stairs behind CJ.
“Let CJ come home with us,” my mom whispered once they’d disappeared upstairs.
“What?”
“Oh, come on. It’s obvious he came to see you, too,” she whispered.
“That’s not what this is.”
“You two have some unresolved business,” my dad added.
“What? You, too?”
My dad shrugged. “I learned never to argue with a woman who knows more than me.”
My mom laughed as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You got that right.”
Trace and CJ’s footsteps echoed down the stairs.
“Hey, CJ. Go grab your backpack,” my dad said. “You’re staying with us tonight.”
CJ threw his fists up over his head. “Woo hoo!”
Trace’s gaze quickly shifted to mine. I spun away and grabbed a couple dishes from the table, carrying them into the kitchen and putting them on the table.
“Sit down, Trace,” I heard my dad say. “Tell us about the season. You guys look great out there.”
I moved to the sink and braced my hands on the counter, taking deep breaths. It was one thing for Trace to be away at school where I didn’t have to see him, but having him in my house after almost three months—and fitting in like it was where he belonged—hurt my heart. My head. And my resolve.
Trace’s raspy laugh filtered into the kitchen as he filled my dad in on the season. From what I could hear, his team had one regular season game left, a division championship, and a bowl game. Then, if things went their way, a national championship game.
Pulling in a deep breath, I turned and walked back into the dining room, reaching around everyone to grab more dishes.
Trace stood and picked up two platters. “Excuse me,” he said to my parents before he followed me into the kitchen.
I pointed to the counter. “You can just put those down over there.”
He moved behind me, brushing my arm with his as he placed them down. With my back to him at the sink, I closed my eyes, trying to rein in the barrage of emotions flooding me.
“We need to talk,” Trace’s soft whisper brushed against my ear.
“You never responded to my text.”
“I wanted to talk to you in person.”
I released a shaky breath.
“Scared?” Trace asked.
“Yes.”
He slipped his hand into mine, his chest pressing softly to my back. God, I’d missed his touch. I felt myself leaning into it. Starved for it.
“Bye, Trace,” CJ said.
Trace dropped my hand as we both spun around. CJ stood in the doorway with his enormous backpack on his back.
“See you, buddy. Let’s hang out tomorrow.”
“Okay,” CJ beamed.
I hurried over to him. “You packed yourself?”
CJ’s head bobbed. “I even packed my toothbrush.”
I pulled him into a hug and pressed my lips to the top of his head. “I love you more than the universe.”
He giggled. “I love you more than the universe.” He looked to Trace. “And you’re not so bad either.”
Trace walked over and ruffled up the hair of the top of CJ’s head. “You either.”
I released CJ and he rushed toward my parents who were already by the front door wearing their jackets. Talk about subtlety.
I followed him to the door and hugged my dad. “I’ll come by in the morning and get him.”
“Sure. Whenever. And if I haven’t said it enough, dinner was excellent.” He released me and opened the door, guiding CJ out with him.
My mom turned and hugged me, whispering in my ear. “Good luck.”
Luck? I needed more than luck to be alone with Trace.
Once the door closed behind them, my house sat eerily silent. I zoned in on the hum of the air moving through the vents, trying to ignore Trace’s soft breathing somewhere nearby.
“Marin?”
Needing a few more seconds to come to terms with the fact that I was suddenly very alone with Trace, I turned slowly.
His head was cocked, his features etched with sadness. “I miss you so damn much.”
I sucked in a quick breath, unprepared for his words and the wounded look on his face.
He moved toward me until I needed to tilt my head back to look up at him. “This has been killing me.”
There were so many things I wanted to say, but there was one thing I needed to say. “I know what you did for me. And I have no idea how I can ever repay you. Thank you for getting me my son back.”
He lifted his hands and gently cupped my cheeks, his eyes, now serious, riveting between mine. “You got your son back. And don’t think I don’t know what you did for me.”
“I didn’t want you brought into my mess.”
“Your mess is my mess,” he said. “Don’t you get that?”
I closed my eyes, cursing my decision to keep the truth from him. I shouldn’t have tried to handle it alone. I should’ve let him be my rock. I opened my eyes and stared back at him. “I didn’t want you hurt.”
“Do I look like I need protecting? Because from where I’m standing, all I need is you.”
My eyes flashed down, unable to let myself believe this was happening. At my lowest point, I couldn’t have ever imagined a scenario playing out where we’d be back in each other’s lives. “I didn’t want to be a distraction for you.”
“Would you stop trying to keep me away?”
I met his gaze. “Why? It was just a matter of time before you would’ve realized I was more trouble than I was worth. You would’ve realized that you wanted all those experiences—all those firsts—I’ve already had. You would’ve realized you wanted your own family.”
“You crazy girl,” he growled, dropping his hands to my shoulders and his forehead to mine. “I do want those things. I want them with you.”
“But—”
“This is where I belong,” he said, the sincerity in his voice bringing ripples to my belly. “Where I’m happiest.”
“What about the pros? You still need to get there.”
“I plan to. With you and CJ right by my side.”
My eyes stung with unshed tears. “Don’t bring up CJ.”
“Why not?”
“Because I might just fall in love with you.”
His smile reached all the way up to his eyes. “Well that’s good. Because I’m already in love with you.”
Tears slipped down my cheeks.
“And CJ.”
I choked on a sob. “You need to stop talking.”
His face fell. “Why? I’m serious.”
“That’s exactly why.”
That cocky grin I hadn’t seen in some time pulled at his lips. “There’s not a chance in hell I’m leaving without you admitting you’re mine. I know what I want, Marin. That hasn’t changed.” He grabbed my cheeks between his massive hands and his lips crashed down on mine, moving possessively over them. I opened on a sigh and that was all it took. Trace’s tongue plunged inside, stroki
ng away at my mouth. My body arched into him, every part of me falling lax as he wrapped his arms around me. I could taste the salt of my tears on his lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck. As soon as I did—as soon as he knew I wasn’t going to fight it—he dropped his hands to my ass, lifting me against him. I wrapped my legs around his hips, swallowing his groans as I shamelessly rubbed against the erection in his pants. God, I missed him.
Trace moved us into the kitchen, swiping the dishes off the table to the floor. Dishes crashed and utensils pinged, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was Trace and me in that moment.
He placed my butt on the edge of the table and tore my top up and off me, easing me back on my elbows. He stood back and stared at me, his eyes moving to my lacy black bra, searing in their intensity. He reached for the first few buttons on his shirt and slid them through the slots, then reached behind his head and pulled off his shirt. Football had gotten him in even better shape. Every muscle and every dip in his chest was well defined.
I took him in. I relished in the sight of him back in my house, staring at me like I was the prize he’d been longing for. My pulse thrashed and my breaths dragged in and out harshly. I wanted him. God, did I want him. “Is this one of your fantasies?” My voice was heavy with need.
His tongue shot out, swiping along his bottom lip. “Absolutely.”
“So what happens next?” I could not believe I had the nerve to ask.
His eyes heated. “You reach for the button on your pants and slip them off.”
I reached for my button. “Like this?”
He nodded, his eyes zoned in on my fingers unfastening my button.
I pushed my pants down my legs until they dropped to the floor. I leaned back on my elbows in my bra and matching panties. “Now what?”
I watched him swallow, his Adam’s apple dipping as he did. “You unsnap your bra.”
My heart was moving so quickly it was a wonder it hadn’t jumped right out of my chest. But I wanted Trace. And I loved in that moment that I could give him this. That I could make his fantasy a reality. I reached behind my back and unclasped my bra. The straps loosened and my bra fell forward. I watched him watch me as I pulled it off and tossed it to the floor. He’d seen me naked before, but never had he looked at me with such wanton need as he was right then. As nerves shook my body, I stared at him, waiting for him to look me in the eyes. “Now what?”
