by Sloan Archer
“That is so odd,” I smiled. “I can’t wait to start chaperoning. Vampires sound so interesting!”
“They are. We’re very lucky,” she said, studying me.
“Why do you keep looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?” I asked, wiping at my cheek.
“Was I? Sorry. No, it’s just that something about you reminds me of Penelope, the last girl who worked here.”
“The one who disappeared?” I asked cagily.
“Yes. She was such a nice girl. I don’t know what it is, but you just sort of remind me of her. You look a lot like her, but it’s more about the way you speak. You sound just like Penelope. You could be sisters.”
“Did you know her well?”
“Very well. I miss her tons,” she said gloomily. “Her disappearance was especially tragic because she’d just fallen in love. He was a vampire named Lewis, and he loved her just as much as she loved him. They even talked about eloping.”
“That’s so sad.”
“It is. I just know that she’s dead. I don’t have any proof, but I can feel it. She’d never skip town on her friends and Lewis like that. Penelope was no scaredy-cat; she’d never run away from any problem, no matter how great.”
“Did she have problems? I hope that I’m not prying,” I said quickly.
“No, it’s okay. She didn’t have any problems per say, but she did mention that she felt like she was always being watched, like someone was stalking her. She kept getting phone calls in the middle of the night from a blocked number, always hang-ups. She mentioned that she’d come home from chaperoning a few times and found her apartment rearranged. It was just little things- paperwork moved around, lights left on, closet doors sitting open- the kind of stuff that makes a person believe that they’re just imagining things.”
“Why didn’t she go to the police?”
“I once asked her the same thing. She said that she couldn’t go to the authorities because she didn’t have any real proof, and that she didn’t want to come off like a crazy fool. She was a very proud person, but she did have a point. She couldn’t exactly file a police report for feeling creeped out, could she?”
“Why didn’t she just move in with Lewis?”
“Penelope was surprisingly old-fashioned. She said she wouldn’t even consider moving in with her boyfriend unless she was engaged.” Erika shrugged unhappily. “It’s all in the past. What can you do, right?”
I didn’t know what to say, so I opted for, “I thought we weren’t supposed to date vampires.”
“What? Because of Marlena?” she scoffed.
“Yes. She made her feelings on the subject very clear to me,” I shuddered, thinking of her scolding emerald eyes.
“Look, what she doesn’t know won’t kill her, which is a shame.” Erika’s cheerfulness had once again returned. “Michael couldn’t care less one way or the other about who we date, and at the end of the day, he is the real owner of Dignitary. Marlena is just along for the ride, gold-digger that she is. She only specified that we couldn’t date our clients, not all vampires in general. Penelope’s boyfriend had been previous patron of Dignitary, but Penelope had never chaperoned him personally.” She smirked impishly. “Loopholes are a glorious thing, don’t you think? Of course, Marlena hated her for it. She said it was tacky and unprofessional.”
I snorted and shook my head. At least I wasn’t the only one who disliked Marlena. “Have you ever…?” I began.
“What? Dated a vampire?”
“Yes.”
“I did once, a long time ago. It just wasn’t for me. I’m too much of a day person. Also, my parents are from Korea. I’d probably give my poor dad a heart attack if I brought a vampire home. My dad is beyond strict. He actually had a problem with my last boyfriend because he was Japanese,” she laughed. “I’m also a bit of a gastronome, and there’s nothing I love more than sitting down and stuffing myself silly on a delicious meal. When this vampire and I would go to restaurants, I’d be devouring my dinner while he silently sat across the table, watching me. I felt like a zoo animal. He never touched a scrap of food on his plate, so the wait staff would always make snide remarks about what a finicky eater he was. So awkward!”
“That would be weird,” I agreed.
Erika glanced down at her watch. “Oh, shoot! I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got to take care of some things before my date.” She quickly grabbed a dress down from the rack and gave me a hug. “It was nice meeting you, Mercy.”
“It was nice to meet you, too, Erika. I’m sure we’ll run into each other again.”
“I’m sure we will. Okay, I’ll see you around. Bye,” she called, hurrying out the door.
I remained in the closet for a few more minutes, reflecting on all that Erika had told me. I eventually got undressed, tucking the gown safely back into its bag.
I drove home in bewilderment, feeling both better and worse about the night ahead.
EIGHT
I did a double take when I pulled up in front of the address Marlena had given me. I crosschecked the information on my appointment card against the sleek metal numbers conspicuously posted on the side of the house. Sure enough, I was in the right place.
The house, which was more of a mansion, really, was designed in my favorite architectural style, mid-century modern. It was built into a cliff overlooking the ocean, and its stark white color contrasted brilliantly with the coffee-colored earth it was nestled against. Although the sheer size of the house was imposing, it still somehow avoided looking garish. Its positioning looked precarious, however, as if nothing more than a strong gust of wind would send it crashing down into the sea below. Not particularly relishing that thought, I was relieved to note that the structure was supported underneath by dozens upon dozens of steel beams. Half of the walls were made of glass, and through them I could detect somebody looking out onto the street from behind the gossamer drapes.
I stepped out of the car, taking a moment to reflect on the irony of wearing a gown that had a price tag much higher than the vehicle I’d driven there in. The dress was worth the expense for as good as it made me feel, but it was easy to be cavalier about the cost of designer couture when I wasn’t the one footing the bill.
The house had no porch light of any sort, and so I had to be careful not to trip. I shuffled my way down the bleached concrete path while attempting to appear graceful. It wasn’t a very easy task in a floor-length evening gown and three inch heels, but I managed nevertheless.
I raised my hand to press the doorbell, but just like what had happened when I’d met Marlena at Dignitary, the door opened before I had a chance to ring it. It must be a vampire thing, I mused.
I had expected a housekeeper to greet me, but a man in tuxedo stood before me instead. He was built as solidly as a man could be, towering well above six feet. His skin was the same color as Marlena’s, but impossibly smoother, like liquefied silk. His intelligent eyes were a deep blue grey color that I’d never seen on any human, and his irises were bordered with a thin circle of silver. His glossy dark hair was combed to one side in a formal style, still wet from the shower. He smelled faintly of soap and expensive aftershave. I rocked back on my heels; I’d never come across any living creature quite as beautiful as this vampire.
He was also scowling.
Oh, no. He didn’t like me.
“Come on in,” he sighed, holding the door open for me.
Although Erika had warned me about Robert’s moroseness, his scornful gaze knocked my confidence down about ten thousand pegs. I did my best to smile as I stepped into the bright light flooding through his home, fighting against the bizarre nervous spasm pulsating in my cheeks- not a sexy look, I was certain. I bit down on my lip, desperate to maintain a modicum of professionalism. I was getting paid for my efforts, after all.
I casually strolled past him through the entryway, trying to act as if I wasn’t at all bothered by the fact that my back was turned to a predator. If he bit into my ne
ck, how long would it take to drain me? I agonized. Was there anyone else in the house or was I all alone with this gorgeous bloodsucker, parading around like a snack in high heels? Could he smell the garlic that I’d eaten the night before?
I silently cursed Michael and Marlena for not providing me with a handbook on vampires. It would have been nice to read up on the species before my date.
Robert shut the door and I turned around to face him. My heart raced. He was almost painful to look at, like the sun. But, unlike the sun, I couldn’t tear my eyes from his face. This was a man worth going blind for.
He looked me over curiously.
“You are different than I expected,” he stated. His voice was calm, even, the epitome of masculinity.
“If you’re not happy,” I countered tartly, “I’m sure Dignitary could send somebody else.”
He frowned at me, abashed. “No,” he said quickly. “What I mean is that you are different. I did not expect somebody so…”
I raised my eyebrows at him.
He clasped his hand together, composing himself. His expression remained guarded. “All I wished to say is that you are lovely.”
“Oh.” I smiled.
“Would you like a drink?” he asked politely. “We still have a few minutes before we need to leave.”
“Sure. That would be nice.”
He pointed to an adjacent room. “Please, make yourself comfortable. I will be right in.”
He headed off towards the kitchen while I sashayed into the living room. Normally, I wasn’t one to sashay, but I just couldn’t help doing so in a formfitting silk dress with a slight train- I still couldn’t believe that was wearing a dress with a train!
My suggestive gait wasn’t lost on my companion. Midway through the room he stood motionless, observing me with his tranquil grey eyes.
“You look stunning in that dress.” He said this matter-of-factly, as a statement rather than a compliment. Without another word, he turned and left the room.
I walked into the living room, feeling like a million bucks. I knew it was somewhat pathetic to let a man shake my confidence in such a way, but it was still nice to know that Robert didn’t find me hideous, particularly because I categorized his handsomeness at a sex god level. Frankly, this man- vampire- was the incarnation of every sexual fantasy I’d ever had, wrapped up in a ritzy tuxedo. I no longer pondered if he and I, as vampire and human, were physically compatible; I was positive that we were.
Unfortunately, I had Marlena’s rule to follow, so “pondering” about Robert’s nakedness was as close as I’d ever get to experiencing it. Pity.
As I’d predicted, there wasn’t a single element in the living room that didn’t infer wealth. Yet, for every bit as modern as the outside of the house was, the inside was contrastingly antique. The walls were lined with beautifully detailed tapestries featuring nude elfin women, cherubs, and demons, all depicting mythical battles between good and evil. In the center of the room was a sofa almost as long as a bus, upholstered in plush black velvet. Its back, sides, and claw legs were carved from mahogany. A shimmering crystal chandelier the size of a midsized sedan hung from the ceiling, suspended by a myriad of mercury-colored pearls.
Above the fireplace was a portrait faded with age. The man in the painting wore a top hat, Victorian era clothing, and bore an uncanny resemblance to Robert. I squinted at the signature in the corner. It was dated 1855.
Robert approached, holding a glass of fizzy champagne. He handed it to me and I thanked him.
“You aren’t going to have a drink?” I asked.
He shot me a peculiar glance. “Umm, no. I cannot really drink anything else but-”
“Blood,” I finished his sentence, giggling nervously. My voice sounded canned and unsteady, about ten octaves higher than it normally was. I was fairly certain that I was also sweating visibly. I was behaving like a lunatic; I needed to calm down.
“Right, sorry. I forgot,” I muttered, feeling my neck grow hot.
“It is a common human mix-up,” he said kindly.
I tilted my head at the painting, desperate to change the subject. “This painting is remarkable. Was this a relative of yours- a great, great Grandfather perhaps? He looks just like you.”
“No,” he said amusedly. “That is me, actually.”
“Right.”
I was making such an ass of myself. Before I could open my mouth and say something else stupid, I chugged back the entire glass champagne. Robert examined my face with his composed gaze, a smile twitching on the crook of his lips.
“Are you afraid of vampires, Mercy?” It was the first time he’d spoken my name. His full lips pursed together as he drew out the M, making my knees felt weak. I’d never met anyone who looked quite so beautiful aiming an inquiry at me. Or scary.
“No,” I said a little too quickly, waving my shaky hand in dismissal.
Unconvinced, he looked at me evenly.
“Okay, the thing is, until a few days ago, I had no clue that vampires existed outside of books and movies. This is all just a lot for me to take in, especially when compounded by the fact that this is my first date- er, chaperoning- for Dignitary.”
This surprised him. “Really? You have never been out with a vampire?”
“Never,” I admitted. “Not unless I’ve been in the company of one and didn’t realize it. In actuality, I haven’t been ‘out’ with a man in a very long time. So, truthfully, I’m more nervous about being on an actual date than I am about being on one with a vampire.”
I looked away from his eyes, embarrassed by my inexplicable divulgence. I tended to talk too much when I was nervous, a condition that had plagued me since childhood. Grams used to say that I had an incurable case of diarrhea of the mouth. I almost shared this with Robert, but my internal critic thought better of it, thankfully. Instead, I clamped down on my tongue until my teeth nearly broke through skin.
“I see.” He gently touched my chin and raised my face until my eyes met his. “If this will put you at ease, Mercy, I will tell you that this is my first social engagement with a human woman in a very, very long time.”
I found that hard to believe. I couldn’t imagine a single breathing female on the planet who wouldn’t give up chocolate for the rest of her life just to spend a minute alone with this glorious immortal.
“I must say, your home is incredible,” I remarked, sweeping my arm across the room like some kind of deranged version of a game show spokesmodel. “I bet it gets a lot of natural light, not that you would favor such a thing being a vampire,” I prattled idiotically. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to mind. “Is it an Eichler?” I asked.
“Close. It is a Mason.” He looked staggered. “Do you know a lot about architecture?”
“Not all architecture,” I admitted. “Only mid-century modern, really. Although, I do also have a soft spot for European Gothic- it’s such a beautifully sinister style. I love the weeping angels, the gargoyles, the scalloped ceilings.”
He opened his mouth to comment, but a grandfather clock in the corner of the room cut him off with its gentle chiming. He took the champagne flute from me and set it aside.
“Unfortunately,” he scowled, “we must go now.”
We walked outside to his driveway where a limo waited, along with a white-haired man holding the passenger door open for us. Robert acknowledged him with a slight tip of his head.
“Carl, this is Mercy. Mercy, Carl,” he said.
“Hello, Carl,” I chimed, sliding onto the cool leather seats.
Carl peered into the back of the limo once we were in. “Hello, Mercy,” he said, and then gently closed the door.
I looked at Robert questionably. “Is he also, uh, a va-vampire?” It still felt strange saying the word in such casual conversation, like I should have concluded the statement with a “Just kidding!”
He laughed softly. “Oh, no. Carl is about as human as they come. Right, Carl?” he called towards the front seat.
Carl
met my eyes in the rearview mirror. “And Robert is about as vampire as they come. Even after forty-five years of being at his service, I still catch him licking his chops behind my neck,” he said wryly. “He’s the only reason I started wearing collared shirts.”
He pushed a button above him, and the dividing center window began to rise. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” he said.
“He’s funny,” I smiled, relaxing a little because of their banter. I’m sure the glass of champagne didn’t hurt, either.
“Yes,” Robert smiled back. “He keeps me on my toes.”
He leaned back in his seat, taking me in with his striking eyes. “So, how does a girl such as yourself come to be a vampire chaperone?” He spoke so steadily that his measured tone, a mixture of scornfulness and admiration, was difficult to interpret.
“Don’t you already know?” I asked.
His eyebrows knitted together. “And why would I know such a thing?”
“I thought you could maybe read minds?” I said slowly.
“Unfortunately, I cannot,” he chuckled at my assumption. “Vampirism alters everyone differently. Only a small percentage of my kind can actually read minds. I can, however, turn into a bat at will.”
“You can?” I gasped.
He shook his head. “Humans,” he muttered amusedly. “Please, continue. You were telling me how you came to be a chaperone.”
Feeling slightly chagrined from his teasing, I said, “Do you want the ‘hopes and dreams’ answer or the ‘honest-to-goodness truth’ answer?”
“The truth,” he smiled. “Always the truth.”
“Okay, got it. Well, the quick and dirty version is that I met Michael at a bar while I was out with my roommate. We got to talking, and I told him about my huge student loan debt. He invited me over for a meeting at Dignitary. We had a chat, I met his wife, and I had a job as a vampire chaperone a few hours later. This only just happened last week,” I clarified.
“Just like that,” he stated.
“Yep, just like that.”
