by Mimi Barbour
With no money, no friends and a crooked system that only saw his blackness, he had eleven months to decide how he would overcome and carry on.
In the can, he’d met up with knowledgeable gangsters, one of whom knew of a guy, a cold-hearted killer who everyone feared and many had hired. He told stories about this dude, tales that resonated with Dylan, whose real name was Diggs.
He’d never known his last name, and so they’d made a joke at the orphanage and called him White – Diggs White. In college he’d changed his name to Dylan and after they released him from prison, because his hair had turned silver before he’d taken to dying it, they’d nicknamed him Silverado.
In prison, he’d pulled off his first kill, hired by a skinny gay man as his protector, and he never looked back. For years he’d performed only those hits he needed to keep him in the money he’d become accustomed to. His meticulous planning and numerous skills with technology had worked in his favor.
He’d never been caught because he made sure he was never seen, like a black shadow, in and out, job done.
Until Seattle. He’d been in a hurry that night, sloppy, not thinking about open windows. The light had been off when he’d first broken into the apartment, he’d been hidden. The bitch had turned it on just seconds before she’d stepped around the wall. He’d been there in full sight and had no option but to take the shot rather than to let her react, scream, warn the neighbors.
And look where that got him – up Shit Creek without a fucking canoe, a paddle or an excuse for his stupidity.
Because of one moment’s improbable odds, he now had a witness on the run. And since he hadn’t taken the time to disguise himself in any way, the bitch could ID him. Fuck, one stupid decision to just get it done, and look at the fucking mess.
He knew how to add makeup, change his hair coloring, choose accessories – hell, he’d used every variable when it came to camouflage. Look at him now, wearing a police uniform he’d stolen from the dead cop he’d left lying on the floor of his apartment after he’d followed him home.
When a person was willing to kill at random, nine out of ten times, he’d get away with it. So far, he’d been lucky. He’d killed the FBI bigshot; the old man he’d thought was Carolina’s grandfather and had turned out to be Crawly from the SPD, and the lady agent whose bad luck was to be in the house that Carolina Madison, Special Agent for the FBI, had rented. And now, this rookie schmuck, who just happened to be his size, had paid for that crime.
The uniform had gotten him into the high schools and allowed him to bullshit the information out of the Vice Principal about the list of new students. His phony story about a woman kidnapping her stepdaughter from the girl’s father had worked like a charm – that and his badge. He’d gotten the list of new female students from each of the schools he visited. Lucking out on his second try, he knew instantly which girl fit his Asian-American profile and the new name she had chosen, Kayla Steele.
Then he’d spent a few minutes hacking into that school’s database and he now possessed the street and house address where they were holed up.
He holstered the cop’s Glock 22 and made sure he also had the silver .45 Automatic tucked into his boot. His moto of being prepared had worked well in the past.
Now it was time to get this bit of foolishness over with and return to his regular routine. Next on his list – Kayla and her bodyguard, and that job would be a pleasure.
He’d shop the next morning and head back to his Air B&B with a new costume and make-up. He was thinking a nice old white dude out for a stroll while scoping out the joint wouldn’t draw any attention. All he needed to do now was get a dog, buy a cane, and gather info about the layout of the house.
Chapter Forty-four
Charli suffered massive shame over her complete breakdown. Embarrassed, horrified at how many tears she’d shed before Blake managed to soothe her, the only noises now were the occasional hiccups, sniffs and sighs.
Inwardly writhing in mortification, she questioned her sanity. How could she have given such a display? Never in her life had she lost it so completely.
Sure, she’d had moments in the dark when she’d soaked her pillow or sat under the shower crying until the water turned cold. Who in this profession hadn’t experienced such lows? Especially if they performed in the types of cases they assigned to her – the undercover gang infiltrations – both dangerous and necessary.
Thing was, she’d never had an audience… never. Controlled, hard-assed to the point where some even condemned her as being heartless, she kept it together, kept the shitty stuff to herself.
The only soft moments, when she loved life, were those shared with her gramps.
The rest of her days, she lived like a regular person, had drinks with casual friends from the office, dated when she had the urge for sex, and excelled in the job she loved.
And now, entwined in the king-size bed with Blake, the shirt on his chest soaked, his hand playing with her hair, life had changed… because she had surrendered.
Not understanding just how much she’d shored up until the wall crumbled, allowing the pain freedom, she shivered. How had she ever managed her day-to-day life carrying such a heavy burden? Suddenly, words broke loose, words she’d never intended to share with another living soul.
“I killed my parents.” She said it out loud for the first time and held her breath. The words hung in the air, stark and horrible. She girded herself for his condemnation and disgust.
Blake’s sigh filled the darkening room. He shook his head, his reply spoken low and soft, “You didn’t, Charli. Circumstances created the accident that killed them, not you.”
She stiffened, pulled her head back to look into his face. She saw the gentle light in his eyes and fought to get away. She couldn’t handle his pity when she expected censure… or in the very least, to be taken seriously.
Overcoming her resistance and gathering her in a tight hug, he wouldn’t let her go. “Hold it, I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. I don’t pity you, a grown woman who should know better than to think like a dumbass. Who I feel sorry for is the little girl who spent the night alone in the ravine where she’d been thrown, a broken leg, and no one finding her until morning – only to admit that her parents had died. And… no one working the crash had even known she’d been in the car until they’d managed to contact her grandfather. That’s who I feel sorry for. And, no matter how angry you get, Charli, I’m only human. I’ll never be able to wipe away those sentiments. My heart is never going to accept that I can’t feel what every living person with any compassion would feel – sympathy for that poor child.”
“You read the accident report.” She hid her face again.
“Fucking right I did.” He tightened his hug, arms gently putting pressure to cuddle her closer. “Baby, I needed to know everything about the agent who was involved in a case in my city, especially after Prowler warned me you might need support. He’s a good cop, thorough and with sound judgement. After he’d hinted at a background I might want to check into, baggage you’d carried for years, I’ll admit to doing the research.”
“My memories are cloudy. It’s like my shame refuses to let me see what happened. I’ve always believed it’s my punishment for saying what I did.”
“You pointed out the beautiful trees.”
“No, that’s what everyone believes. The truth is that I undid my seat belt because I was reaching for my mom’s camera. That’s the reason they didn’t see the deer. They were helping me find the fuck-ing cam-er-a. I wanted to take pictures of those… those beautiful, godforsaken, son of a bitchin’ trees.” Her voice broke. Overcome with shame, she hid her face again.
Blake shook her gently. “Oh baby, would you condemn any other ten-year-old for doing the same? Like when our children do silly kid things, will you be heartless and turn your back, sentence them to a life of un-forgiveness?”
Charli heard his words. She’d listened with her heart in her throat, praying he
could give her the magic she needed to get past the horror, the confession of her real crime.
As his words filtered through her brain, a wall crumbled and she began to see herself again as that little girl in the woods. Once she’d come to, the descending darkness had terrified her.Foreign noises filled her imagination with images of cougars and bears, all hungry for the ‘meal of the day’, little Carolina Madison.
Horrific pain had kept her immobile. Crying heart-rending tears, calling for her parents’ help, unable to scream because of shock, unable to help herself or them, she was engulfed in pure unadulterated misery. When she finally did hear the sirens and faraway voices filtering through the darkness, all she’d heard was – “it’s too late.” That’s when she’d prayed for death and mercifully passed out.
“Charli? What are you remembering? You’ve gone very pale and you’re shaking. Baby?”
His edginess penetrated and shocked her into replying to what he’d said earlier. “I’d never treat anyone like that. I couldn’t.”
“But you are, Charli. Tell me why you feel it’s okay to treat little Carolina Madison that way.”
“I don’t… I wouldn’t. Oh my God, but I do.”
“Yes. You do. You’ve closed your heart to the small girl who begs to be forgiven.”
This time the tears were healing. She cried for the years she’d betrayed the defenseless child in the woods, refusing to see her cruelty or the true reality rather than the obscene one she’d clung to.
Blake lay beside her the whole time, his arms a haven of shelter and protection. He hadn’t condemned her. Instead, he’d listened and defended her.
She lifted to a sitting position and found tissues waiting in his hands. Thankful for his consideration, she mopped up her face and lay over on her back, empty and lighter than she’d felt in years.
Full darkness had descended with only the shining moon to give them enough light to see one another, an indication of how long they’d been squirreled away in the bedroom.
She thought about the others and guilt began to manifest. “I need to apologize to Gramps and the girls.”
“No, Charli, you don’t. They love you and understand that you were frightened for them because you care so much. You can make amends in the morning, tonight is for us.”
“What us?” She smiled as she taunted him. After sharing such heavy secrets, her heart had lightened. Now, she wanted to laugh, to dance… to make love.
Her mind remembered how tightly their bodies had meshed together earlier. How they’d fit so perfectly. She slid closer and began kissing his face. “Suddenly, I feel lighter and happier than I can ever remember. It’s wonderful.”
“I’m so glad, Charli.” He smiled, looking relieved, his charming grin contagious.
She laughed. “I need to do something fun. Hey, I have an idea. Wanna screw?” The words were supposed to sound playful, a reflection of her sudden lightness of heart.
“Uh uh, Charli. No screwing between us.” He yanked her back into his arms after her instant withdrawal. “Either we make love, or I leave right now.”
Stiffening, she replayed his words… make love. Was he trying to tell her something? Her poor muddled head couldn’t properly assimilate the hidden meaning; he needed to spell it out.
“You want to make love to me?”
“No, baby, I want to make love with you.”
“Oh well, since you put it like that, then sure, we’ll make love to each other.”
“The thing is honey; you can’t make love unless you actually love the other person. See, if you don’t, that’s when you have sex, kinda like what I’ve been having all my life. But with you, it’s different, because you – I love.”
Sensations she’d never experienced before exploded, starting in her brain, speeding into her heart and plummeting with the biggest explosions in her lower stomach. Aroused beyond anything she’d ever known, cascades of ecstasy unfurled.
He loves me. She had to tighten the muscles in her groin because the need there detonated. He knows my secret and yet he really loves… me. A feeling of utter warmth, such as she’d only experienced with her Poppa John, circulated from her head to her chest, slinking through the opening to her heart and blossoming… taking root. She’d never thought it could be so intensely beautiful, so utterly filling and so mind-blowingly blissful.
She took his face in her hands. “Then make love to me.”
Almost rough, he pulled her closer. He stared into her eyes, his totally open and revealing. She returned his gaze, telling him without words that she needed him, wanted him and… completely and utterly adored him.
***
Blake had never known fear as he’d suffered while waiting for her reaction. Watching Charli assimilate his words, their meaning, he held his breath and didn’t move a muscle. Putting everything on the line, knowing he’d walk away if she hadn’t been able to give him the answer he needed had been the most terrifying thing he’d ever lived through.
But now, joy had overtaken those fears, and he scooped her close, kissing her with every ounce of love he’d saved all his life to give to the woman he’d choose to be his wife.
While his hands worked at her clothes, pulling and tugging at the material, needing her naked body next to his, his lips travelled over every inch as it came into view. He couldn’t stop from idolizing her beauty or exclaiming over and over again how much he cared.
Starting at the point where he’d removed her shorts, he exclaimed, “Oh baby, am I ever going to love you here.” He nuzzled her entry and heard her breathing quicken.
Not wanting anything to end too soon, he moved upward to where she’d already taken off her blouse. He gathered her breasts, kissing each nipple and caressing their fullness. Again, her gasps urged him to hurry. He reached for her lips where he made love until she arched upwards to accept his fullness, her signal that she wanted more.
Only, he wouldn’t be hurried. He’d waited too long for this moment and he needed it to last. To be special.
“You’re perfect, baby. Perfect. I love everything about you.” He softly kissed her lips. “I especially love your mouth.”
His hands gathered her hair on each side of her head to keep her where he wanted her. “And your hair drives me crazy, did you know that?” He leaned back so he could ruffle the softness. “I love blondes with curls and big brown eyes.”
“It’s not blonde.”
“Excuse me?”
“My hair, it’s not blonde.”
“You know what, I don’t care. I’d be crazy about you if you were bald.”
This time, she grabbed his hair in both fists with serious intentions. “How about you love me with less words and more action?” Her eyes were alight with twinkling jest. “Then I’ll take my turn to show you the parts of your body I most like.”
“That does it! Hold on, baby. Hold on tight.”
Chapter Forty-five
Charli held on and had the most mind-blowing experience of her life. The man knew all the tricks of how to satisfy a woman. He’d lifted her arms up above her head, holding her hands, entangling their fingers and made free with every area he could reach. When he focused on her breasts, he not only laved them with his tongue and sucked on the nipples; at the same time, he plunged deep inside her.
His kisses and snuffled breaths on her neck and tiny bites at her ear made her squirm in delight. Taking the time to whisper his delight with her tight wetness, he swiveled his hips to get deeper. “You’re so wet, baby. You can’t know how good it feels, how hot you are.”
His passionate thrusts while he kissed her lips, sucking the essence from within, drove her to the brink. The man had a body he’d worked hard to make strong and muscular. His thighs against hers were proof that he cared about health and strength. He made her feel feminine and delicious.
She allowed him free reign, and he’d taken over completely. In her normal relationships, she’d always been the rider, the in-charge person, but not with Blake.
He had full control and his way of performing left no doubt that was the position in which he excelled. When he lifted her legs higher to give him better access to her sweet spot, she lost it completely.
He rammed her with his body and at the same time with words of love that added the missing connection she’d never known.
Soaring to heaven, she experienced a climax that left her throbbing with joy. Hoarsely, a sob broke loose as he penetrated the slickness one last time, thrusting powerfully, his fullness pumping, pulsating… passionate.
Needing to give him as much pleasure as possible, she tightened her inner muscles and again rode the wave. Oh, God! It felt so good, so perfect.
Soon, floating back to earth, she totally and forever gifted him with everything she had to give.
Chapter Forty-six
Waking from a snooze, Charli found the bed empty. She laid there for a few moments, wondering where Blake had disappeared to. The coolness from the air conditioning blasted, driving her to search for her clothes. She found them piled on the floor by the bed.
Before she could dress, Blake appeared with a try of heated Chinese food that smelled like ambrosia. “Oh no you don’t. You’re not leaving yet. We need to eat, talk and make love again. I haven’t come anywhere near to getting enough of that delicious body you flaunt around here all the time.”
Charli let go of her shorts, and instead, she reached for the shirt he’d flung on the floor. “Okay, I’ll just borrow this. The air conditioning is making me cold.”
He stared at her hard nipples poking against the blue material and grinned. “I see that. And so you know, that’s just become my favorite shirt.”
“Down boy. And bring that food over here. I never ate much earlier.”
“Are you kidding me? You were the only one shoveling food into your mouth while the rest of us sat in misery.”
“I never tasted a morsel. Was I that scary?”
“Yep. Like a sixteen-hundred-pound ravenous gorilla in the middle of the room. One nobody wanted to mess with.”
