by Lulu Pratt
Lily stares at me and gapes. “That means…”
I cover my mouth with my hands. Five weeks? Five weeks would put me nowhere near David. Instead, that would put me with…
Tears well back up in my eyes and it’s hard to breathe. I watch Rayanne finish her measurements, while my brain tries to rationalize this.
We always used condoms. Always.
“Are you sure?” Lily finally asks Rayanne.
“Very. Later, it gets more difficult to pinpoint, but it’s very accurate in the beginning due to their growth stages.” Rayanne finishes and leaves the room to get the doctor.
Lily just stares at me.
“That means…”
“We used condoms.”
“Every time?”
I clean myself up with baby wipes and pull up my leggings. I bend over to put on my sandals and a memory comes blazing back. The night he showed up at my apartment and we had sex over the edge of the couch. I don’t remember seeing a condom.
My God.
Rayanne knocks and comes back in.
“Here’s your baby.” She hands me a small strip of black and white pictures, featuring the baby I did not make with David McArthur.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
ERIC
After spending a solid ten minutes knocking on the door, I decide Kate isn’t home yet. She doesn’t answer any of my phone calls or text messages, but she has to come home soon. She has to.
The past week has been a rollercoaster of shit. The case, David, Paxton, the interview. At the heart of it has always been a yearning for Kate. Despite everything, despite drowning myself every time I went to the bar or sweating until I was dizzy at the gym, she was my center.
She is my center. Every minute with her, I become a whole new person. Every minute with her, I become the person I am supposed to be.
This whole process has done nothing but show me she is who I need to be with. There is no day worth living without her there. The minute I stopped fighting my feelings, everything turned around.
I have to get her to talk to me. I fucked up, and bad, but I will fight with everything in me to get her back. She just needs to get here. I’m going to lose my damn mind waiting.
Her neighbor across the hall opens his door for a fourth time to stare at me. I try to smile politely and wave. He says nothing and shuts the door. Again.
Where is she?
I narrowly missed David fifteen minutes earlier. I managed to slip down a side hall as soon as I saw him coming from the elevator. He knocked on the door for five minutes, very abrasively, and yelled for her to open it. I should have dropped this guy months ago.
If I were the neighbor across the hall, I’d probably be watching me too.
A true testament to my character was not beating the shit out of David when I saw him. I’ll save that for after divorce, when I no longer represent him. I’ll have to invite him to my boxing ring. Can’t sue me if I beat the fuck out of him there while “teaching him how to box”.
That’ll be such a great day.
The elevator chimes and I jump down the side hallway. Out walks Kate and her friend, someone I recognize vaguely from a night out at the bar. She must be Lily.
Kate looks so beautiful my heart stops. Something is bothering her, but what wouldn’t at this point? Everything around me slows when I see her, like I’ve been pulled into the center of my universe. Because that’s exactly what she’s been, this entire time.
They talk briefly outside the door and I’m not sure what to do until Lily turns and goes back to the elevator.
“I’ll go get it. Be right back up.” Lily disappears into the elevator.
It’s now or never.
“Kate.” I say softly, walking up slowly, trying not to startle her. “Hey.”
As quiet as I am, she looks shell-shocked, her hand frozen in front of her lock. She only blinks at me.
“I really need to talk to you. Can I have a minute? Just one minute. It’s important.”
“Um.” She swallows deeply, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. “Okay.”
“I was an asshole.” I’m desperate to touch her, equally desperate to not make her run off. “David fed me some bullshit about sleeping with you, showed me pictures, and I just lost it. It was dumb. So fucking dumb. I don’t own you and we weren’t anything serious, but it just made me realize that I am goddamn crazy about you. I mean, I also hate that fat fuck and picturing him with you made me murderous. But it’s because… I’m crazy about you. I can’t sleep without you. Eating feels like a waste.”
“Eric—”
“Kate.” I take her free hand and hold it to my chest. “You don’t need another loose cannon. I know that. I also know that you are the woman for me. I want to share a bed with you. I want to make breakfast with you. I want to run laps around the neighborhood and go pick up yogurt or whatever you yogi types do for fun on the weekends. I don’t deserve you, Kate. I have spent my entire career watching people fuck over the person they were supposed to love. I didn’t want to ever endure that. You’re the first person who gave me hope that maybe it didn’t have to be that way.”
I search her face and see the intoxicating warmth in her eyes and in the corners of her mouth. She’s smiling at me, just a little. It splits my heart in two and I want to kiss her and pretend these last few weeks never happened.
“You have every right to tell me to fuck off. I hope you don’t. I hope you accept my apology and let me spend the next however long making it up to you. I hope you feel the same ache in your chest for me. Geoff tells me that means I’m in love. I never knew what that felt like until I met you, Kate.”
I take her other hand and press them both to my lips. A small gasp slips from her lips and her eyes are damp. I cup her cheek and stare into the eyes that have haunted me for weeks.
“I love you, Kate. I am a stupid man who wanted to run, but I don’t want to run anymore. I just want to love you.”
The elevator behind us dings and slides open. Neither one of us move, but I watch Lily step out, look at us and turn right back into the elevator. It slides closed, leaving us alone again.
“Eric. I want… God, this is so complicated.” Her voice cracks.
“I know it’s not ideal, but we can work around it. I don’t care that you slept with David before mediation. I don’t care that he’s my client. He doesn’t matter. You, Kate. You matter.”
She takes a deep breath and reaches into her bag. I have no idea where she’s going with this until she presses a glossy strip of paper into my hands.
“What is this?” It’s black and white, a bunch of blobs that I don’t understand until I see the words Due Date in the top corner. The fifth of February. My birthday. Everything goes startlingly silent. “What…”
“It’s our baby.” Kate whispers, her voice thick. My entire body feels like someone slammed on the brakes. “I thought it was David’s and it was kind of terrible. Today, they told me the dates were wrong. I’m, um, I’m five weeks along. This whole time, I haven’t slept with anyone but you.”
“I don’t understand.” It’s a stupid thing to say and I know it, but my brain feels heavy and jumbled.
“The night you came over. You told me I was a fever—”
“A fever in my veins.” I look at the pictures and then at Kate. My Kate. My sweet Kate carrying my baby. Our baby. “I needed you so bad I forgot the condom.”
“Surprise.” She whispers and tries to take back the pictures. “Look, I know this is a big deal, but if you don’t want to deal with it, it’s okay. I’ll figure it out.”
Tears pour down her cheeks but I have never felt so much love — that stupid thing I spent most of my life avoiding — before now. I place one hand on her stomach and another on her waist.
“I’m going to be a dad?” I feel something wet around my eyes and I can’t help but smile. “We’re going to be parents? Together?”
She nods and smiles through her tears. I pick her up and spin
her around in circles, kissing her neck and cheeks until I finally find her lips. I kiss her with all the emotion I’ve suppressed for weeks.
I kiss her like I love her. I kiss her like we belong together.
I’m finally home.
EPILOGUE
KATE
SIX MONTHS LATER
“Girl, we really outdid ourselves.” Lily all but squeals next to me and claps her hands. “This gala is our best yet. Have you seen the numbers yet? We passed a half million within the first hour. It’s still coming. All these swanky assholes are just dumping their cash into our hands!”
“I saw! It’s our best event ever. You are the best partner I could have ever asked for.” My cheeks hurt from grinning and my back hurts from standing, but nothing can temper the pure elation I feel tonight. Months of planning and scheduling, postponing while my divorce finalized, handling everything last minute — all worth it.
Eric dropped David turned his Google investigation skills against David. He found a mountain of proof that David cheated on me years before he claimed I started the cheating. When presented with the evidence, David agreed to settle quickly for more than I’d even been pursuing him for to save the further expenses of lawyers.
I never did show David the video of Eric and me, but an image of us passionately kissing was plastered all over the internet. I only wish I’d been there to see his face.
Interestingly, and unlike David, neither of us has heard from him since, and he paid Eric’s bill without whining. I guess he finally realized how badly he lost.
“Lily, partner with boobs, anyway. We all know I’m otherwise the best partner.” Eric gives my ass a light squeeze and hands me a glass of water. “For the woman of the hour.”
“One of the women of the hour.” I shoot Lily a wink.
“Definitely the sexiest.”
“I’m huge.” I groan and give my behemoth belly a rub. “Every week she tells me there is only one in there, and every week I don’t believe her.”
“That’s because Stevens men are beasts.” Eric kisses me and rests his hands over top of mine. “He’s going to be a great pitcher. Switch pitcher, obviously. They get paid more to be on the mound. Very rare.”
“Is he now? What if he wants to be an actor?” All three of us collectively shudder. I laugh. “Never mind. Baseball player sounds great. Let’s keep our son out of Hollywood forever.”
“I better look as good as you when I get knocked up.” Lily clinks my glass with hers. “Paxton keeps telling me he wants to staff his own law firm with offspring, but my genes aren’t as pretty as yours. I’ll look like the old lady in the shoe. Hell, I don’t even look as good as you during sex.”
“How do you know what she looks like during sex?” Eric asks, waggling his brows. He’s trying to be funny, but Lily turns bright red. “Wait. Wait. Reverse this party train. You’ve seen what Kate looks like during sex?”
“Maybe.” Lily looks away, a smile on her face.
“Maybe?” Eric looks at me.
“Hmm?” I play dumb. Eric places kisses along my neck and slides his hands down my back, hot and heavy. He does this every time he wants something. “Okay! Okay. You can’t get mad. This was a long time ago.”
“I’m all ears.”
“I may have recorded the first time we slept together.”
“What?”
“And Lily may have seen it.”
“It was really goddamn hot. Well done, Eric. I mean, she was way hotter than you. But, yeah. Well done.”
“We have a sex tape and you never told me?” Eric gapes. “You little—”
“Mother of your child?” Lily interrupts. “Why yes, yes she is.”
“I was going to use it to fuck with David’s head.” I explain. “But it was just too good. I couldn’t show him.”
“You still have it?” Eric advances on me again. “I need to watch this.”
“She used to watch it while she masturbated.” Lily says loudly. “Oh, look, someone is calling me. Bye!”
“Lily!” I yell at her, but she’s already disappeared into the chaos of moving bodies. Eric walks around and presses himself against my back. His very erect cock presses into my back. “Eric, there are people everywhere.”
“Do you have any idea how sexy this is?” He breathes in my ear. Already, I can feel myself melting against him. “Knowing that you taped us? Watched us? Touched yourself while watching us? Knowing you made yourself come while watching me fuck you?”
“Eric, there are a million people here.” I beg, even though all I want is for him to take me over the nearest table. The way his hands slide across my body, and the rumble of his voice in my ear, is enough to drive me crazy even without the surging pregnancy hormones.
“We are going to reenact that video later. Only this time, it’ll be one hundred times better.”
“I don’t know.” I can’t help myself. “It was already really sexy. Can you beat a first time?”
“Baby girl.” He purrs in my ear. “I have learned your body. I know how to make you sing with two finger strokes. It will be the best you’ve ever seen.”
“I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
“Fuck waiting.” Eric’s hand lingers just under the hem of my dress and he presses his lips to the back of my ear. “There’s a private room upstairs. Let’s go now. You in this dress is going to make me crazy.”
“The party—”
“Can wait.” He turns my head so he can kiss me, and a fire blooms through my veins and between my legs. “Come with me.”
Come with me, he says. His naughty double meaning is all I need to push me out the door with him. He grasps my hand and we slide through the crowded halls, giggling like children. Every day with him has felt this light, this happy, this incredible. I have no doubt the orgasm he’s about to give me will be that much better, though, surrounded by the Hollywood elite.
Eric stops me in front of a door and puts a finger to his lips. “I need you to close your eyes.”
“Close my eyes?”
“Trust me.” He whispers against my lips. I try for a kiss but he pulls away and holds his finger back up.
“Fine.” I stick my tongue out at him and let him lead me into the room. Excitement bubbles through my veins. Turns out, I’m a bit of an exhibitionist. The mystery just heightens it.
We talk a few steps and then I lose his hand. I’m about to open my eyes, but he asked me to trust him, so I keep them shut and try to feel for him in the dark. All around me, something moves.
“Eric?” I say softly.
“Open your eyes.”
What I see takes my breath away. The room is covered in candles and stargazers. Hannah, Lily and Paxton are in the background with their phones out. Okay, maybe a bit of an exhibitionist, but this is a bit much.
I turn around, confused, looking for Eric. He waits behind me, on one knee, holding out a solitaire ring.
I can’t move. I can’t breathe.
“Kate.” Eric says softly and takes my hand. “Kate, my love. You make every day worth living. You are my sun, my moon and my stars. Marriage is something we shunned, but I’ve come to realize it’s only terrible with the wrong person. Marriage with the right person, the person who stirs your soul and completes your being, is perfect. Marriage is not just Kate and Eric, it is also our son. Our family. I do not want one more day to pass without you in it.”
A deep warmth spreads through me, a different fire from the one I felt downstairs. I don’t cry and my breath slowly returns, but I still feel like I’m floating over my body, watching all this unfold. Like it’s not real.
“Kate Monroe, the beautiful mother of my child, the fire in my soul, the sunrise and sunset of my day, the love of my life. Will you marry me?”
Never before have I seen him so impassioned, so in love with me. I can feel it pouring out of him like a waterfall. In his eyes, I can see our future together and nothing has ever felt so beautiful.
“Oh, Eric.” I s
ay softly. “There is nothing on this earth I want more than to be your wife.”
His smile melts what little of me is left. He slides the ring on my finger and kisses me.
It’s the kiss of forever.
BONUS EPILOGUE
KATE
TWO MONTHS LATER
The last notes of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star play out of a teddy bear before looping through for the fiftieth time. Never before in my life did I think I’d be so happy to hear those tinny notes. I rest my head against the recliner and close my eyes for just a moment.
Rest is rare, but in sweet moments like this, where little Beau is wrapped up in his favorite blanket and the house is silent save for the soft music, I don’t mind. Instead, my heart feels like it will explode and grow at the same time, an emotion I still struggle to comprehend.
Becoming a mother is nothing like I expected and everything I ever wanted. Sweet kisses and adorable baby laughs, bright blue eyes and tufts of dark hair, his father’s dimples and my nose. I could sit all day and just smell the top of his darling little head.
Watching Eric with our son is the most amazing part of all. The man who once terrified me became the biggest softie on the planet the day our son was born. As soon as they put him on my chest, I knew I’d fallen so deeply in love that I could never escape and I’d never want to.
Eric was more anxious, terrified he wouldn’t know what to do with a baby. When the nurse carried Beau over, he was pale as a ghost and afraid to move for fear of dropping him. Two minutes later, everything about him melted into little Eric-sized puddles and he couldn’t stop staring at the gorgeous little boy who had just been pushed from my body.
The gorgeous little boy who was made the night Eric told me I was a fever in his veins. The night I lost my heart to the man who I thought would end my whole world. In the midst of that fear and confusion, this perfect little boy came to life and changed our world in insurmountable ways.
I have never before been so grateful for sex. Now I thank the universe for it every day.
