Inside the cat roared, it pressed its weight against me, its hunger the most prevalent thought in my mind. This is why I couldn’t stay away from her, why I kept turning up wherever she was, whenever she needed me, because the cat wanted her, needed her. This is why I couldn’t leave when I knew I had no other choice.
My hands moved—albeit reluctantly—upward, pushing her shirt as I did, until my fingers touched the bare skin of her back. She sucked in a breath, arched slightly, and let me suckle her lower lip. My body was not only hot, it was like liquid fire, my bones going languid with each touch of her, each inhale of her scent. I was hard and there was no sense trying to hide that fact. And Grace obviously felt the same as she rubbed her center over my engorged length, grinding her hips like she wanted more.
I was so ready to give it to her, so very ready to strip us both and claim what she was offering, what I now felt was rightfully mine.
“No,” she whispered, her body stiffening above me. “No.”
CHAPTER 7
Grace
No, this wasn’t Rory. This wasn’t like that night at all. I said the words over and over in my mind, had been since our lips first touched and the heat seemed to encompass me instantaneously. I couldn’t stop, didn’t want to and so now I was on top of Aidan, loving the feel of his muscled chest, his strong arms and thighs beneath me. His erection was a little unnerving. It was actually the break of lust-filled euphoria I’d been engulfed by. It was what gave my inner rejections a voice and had Aidan grasping my shoulders as he pushed me off of him.
I rolled to the side, lying on my back, eyes closed, chest still heaving, body still tingling from his touch. From the motion of the bed I figured Aidan had laid back down as well and was most likely wondering what type of lunatic he’d brought to his room. Or maybe, just maybe he was calling me a dick-tease just like Rory had.
“You said no regrets,” his voice sounded after a long silence. “Why did you say that? Did something happen to you that you regretted?”
I bit my bottom lip hoping that pain would ease the one growing between my legs. It was a gnawing sensation, persistent and intense, but even it couldn’t drown out the sound of Aidan’s voice or the question he’d just spoken, or the swell of embarrassment snaking along my spine.
The fact was I didn’t tell anyone about my regrets. I never had and never planned to. Things happened in life and a person either picked themselves up and moved on or wallowed in self-pity until life wasn’t worth living anymore. I despised the latter and had promised myself a long time ago that I would move on, that I would have a life despite those idiots that tried to hold me down with their cruel words and senseless pranks. I was determined to be better than them, to be the bigger person, and here I was, letting what they’d done to me turn me into a quivering, self-doubting goofball in front of the only guy I’d ever felt like being different for.
“I don’t talk about regrets,” I told him when I thought the silence was just about to drive me insane. The least I could do was open my mouth and talk. “There’s no point. They don’t go away but I refuse to give them any more attention.”
“But you are giving it attention. You may not be talking about it, but you’re acting because of whatever the regret is,” he said simply, as if he were explaining how to ride a bike. Get on and pedal, how hard is that?
Well, talking about this was hard, which is why I’d avoided it for so long. The fact that he sounded like it didn’t matter that I’d stopped us before we could … before either of us could get what we both seemed to want, only made the past a bigger and much nastier pill to swallow. He didn’t sound angry and wasn’t yelling, wasn’t calling me names or laughing at me, and I didn’t really know how to handle that.
I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, looking for some type of easy way to say this. A cool transition line that would make what was once a really big deal in my life, a maybe not so big deal tonight. It was pointless and I knew it, another fact I chose to run from instead of facing head-on. Okay, well enough of that, the pity-party thing was getting pretty damned lonesome, not to mention boring.
“I used to go out with this guy,” I blurted out. I was going to tell Aidan what I’d never told anyone else since I’d tried to tell my parents. I never planned to let these words slip from my lips again, to anybody. But Aidan wasn’t just anybody. I think I’d known that since that first night at the bar.
“He was an ass but I didn’t know it until it was too late. We were making out one night at his house and he tried to take it further. I mean, we’d been going out for a while and I was thinking that maybe it was time anyway. I knew his family and they knew mine, we were the ‘perfect couple,’ they all liked to say.” I took a deep breath and finally opened my eyes. The ceiling was a cracked and stained mess and I frowned.
“Anyway, he was going fast, ready and willing and so was I until I realized we were in a room with other people. Then I told him to stop. He didn’t at first so I pushed him and yelled for him to stop again. Everyone in the room looked at us and he immediately stood up, cursing at me and calling me a tease and all this other stuff.” I could still hear his voice as he’d yelled, could see the appalled look on the faces of so many, too many. I had felt like running into one of those closets and locking myself inside. And I had felt betrayed, by Rory and by my friends.
“You’re right, he was an ass,” Aidan said dryly.
That simple statement stalled the trembling of my lower lip as the memories swamped me. I sighed with a good amount of relief. I hadn’t been sure what his response was going to be, hadn’t wanted to read into any of Aidan’s kisses or intense stares. For all I knew he could be out for the same thing Rory was, but something told me he was different. I’d had that niggling feeling from the first night we’d met. At any rate, I didn’t want to continue, probably didn’t need to since Aidan was clearly in agreement with my assessment of Rory, but I pushed on anyway, sensing that somehow this purging might actually be good for me.
“The next day I was so hurt and so angry at Rory for embarrassing me the way he did. His cousin and one of my best friends, Rebecca, had finally driven me home that night after I’d threatened to call a cab. I come from a quiet area in Seattle so calling a cab after midnight would have been like burning down our town hall in broad daylight—eyewitness news that would spread just like that fire.”
Aidan made a sound that was almost like a chuckle but I kept talking.
“Rebecca didn’t say a word on the ride home and when I called her to say I needed to talk the next morning she sounded like I was bothering her. I hadn’t really thought about that then, but now, remembering, she hadn’t seemed happy to hear from me at all. I told her later that morning that I wanted to press charges against Rory, that he’d assaulted me when he’d shoved his hands down my pants and … and…” I couldn’t seem to get the words out. Tears stung my eyes at the memory and I cursed myself for being so weak after all this time. I’d sworn that I was over Rory and what he’d done, but I guess I really wasn’t.
While I struggled to get my words out something unexpected happened. Aidan’s fingers found mine. In the silence he extended his arm, lifting mine. Looking up I could see the slices of moonlight coming through the window blinds lacing through our fingers. Aidan clasped my hand tightly, not saying a word, not really needing to. When he guided our arms back down to the bed I was still blinking, trying to figure out what all this meant. What I felt was as if a shield had popped into place, completely covering me from Rory’s words, my friends’ actions, and everything bad that had ever happened to me. I inhaled slowly, felt the trickle of a bothersome tear etching down my face to land inside my ear. Swallowing deeply I opened my mouth and the words continued.
“He’d been almost brutal in his persistence, probing and grabbing, even biting me on the shoulder when I’d first begun to fight back. The mark is still there,” I whispered, thinking about the bumpy line of flesh that had never healed completely but was thankfully
hidden by wearing clothes with thick straps in the summer months.
“Rebecca didn’t think pressing charges was a good idea and to prove her point she ran right home and told her parents what I was planning to do. They called Rory’s parents and before dinner that night all of the parents were sitting in my living room discussing why I shouldn’t spread those vicious rumors about Rory. Why it was so important for Rory and me to stay together, so financially important for all of our families. So I didn’t press charges and I didn’t break up with Rory. But he and Rebecca and the rest of our group made every day of my life a living hell from that moment on.”
“What? Your friends turned on you too? None of them believed you or supported you?”
He sounded incredulous at the thought. I guess it was a hard thing to swallow; believe me, I had been the one doing all the swallowing at the time and it wasn’t easy.
“I was no longer one of them in spirit, just out of necessity. So for appearances Rory and I were still together, but he flirted with other girls, even had sex with them. One time he and Rebecca even made me watch. He said that I should take notes of what a real woman acts like.” Tears flowed freely then, like a dam inside me had finally broken. My chest heaved as breathing became an issue, but I didn’t make a sound, I didn’t sob or whine, just let the tears flow.
Aidan never released my hand, he didn’t move at all, but there was this huge tension that sort of lingered over us like a black cloud. Way to officially break the mood, I thought as I finally gave in to a sniffle. After too many moments of silence went by I lifted my free hand and wiped at my eyes. Then I tried to sit up, intent on grabbing my jacket and calling a cab to take me back to the dorm.
But Aidan didn’t release my hand. So when I sat up, he only pulled me back down. He rolled over then so that part of his body was on top of part of mine. Moonlight continued to slash through the blinds, eerie lines of light along his still too handsome face. A muscle ticked in his jaw, his eyes had grown to that ominously dark color again, his brow was drawn, and my breath hitched.
“He was a total jerk and he deserved to have his ass kicked from Seattle to Florida and back again. And those you called your friends were no better than he was. Where I come from he would have been handled appropriately.”
His words were spoken so slowly, so succinctly and so filled with rage and contempt I could barely take another breath. His fingers had grown tight in mine, the part of his body I could feel was laced with tension and for the briefest moment I was afraid.
Aidan shook his head. “Don’t be afraid, Grace. You don’t ever have to be afraid of me. I will never do anything to hurt you.”
Said the guy dressed in all black who was glaring at me like he could and would kill at the drop of a dime. My heart hammered without any coercion from me because I couldn’t speak, didn’t know what to say. Fight or flight should have been the next instinct to kick in, but I didn’t move.
“I can’t hurt you.” Aidan spoke again, his voice a couple decibels softer this time as he lowered his forehead to mine. “And I won’t let anybody else hurt you. A minha outra metade. Meu companheiro.”
Again, I was speechless. I understood everything he’d said except the last part. I thought it may have been Spanish, which I had studied in the ninth grade, but translation wasn’t working for me at the moment. I was such a dweeb to not be able to say anything after dumping my whole tragic life’s story on this guy I barely knew. I felt like crap and then again, I felt kind of special thanks to the words of his I knew. Nobody had ever felt the need to protect me before. Not my parents or my friends, nobody. My parents wanted to control me, plain and simple. They wanted to dictate everything I did right down to the clothes I wore, but they never protected me, not when I needed them to. I wasn’t sure I needed Aidan’s protection right at this moment, but damn, it was good to know he was offering it and in such a sexy, melodramatic sort of way.
What I did next would go down in my personal history as the moment Grace Kincaid became the real and true Grace Kincaid.
I lifted my free hand to cup Aidan’s cheek. “Thank you,” I whispered, kissing his lips softly. “Thank you very much.”
I spent the night with Aidan. We both lay on our sides, fully clothed, except we’d taken off our boots. He had one arm cupped under his head, the other wrapped tightly around my waist. I scooted back against him, loving the warmth and even the feel of his desire for me pressed snugly against my back.
“I’m not supposed to be here,” he said quietly.
I didn’t know what time it was, we’d been talking on and off about different things for a while. I now knew that he didn’t care for hot beverages and loved his motorcycle more than he loved sitting at bars drinking. Now, it seemed I was about to learn something more about the one they called a recluse, but I tentatively called a friend.
“Where are you supposed to be?” I asked, letting my fingers dance along his knuckles. I liked touching him and over the past few hours had grown used to the freedom he allowed me to do so.
“I want to be free to decide,” was his cryptic answer.
He gave those sometimes, answers that I knew had a greater meaning but that he refused to provide. Luckily for him, I could sort of relate to what he was saying in his roundabout way.
“Once I graduated from high school I was free to decide where I wanted to go to college. That was news to my parents and they hated the idea of me coming all the way to Victory just to go to school. I had a full scholarship so I didn’t need them to write any checks for me. I made the decision and moved and I’m very proud of taking that step. If you are where you want to be you shouldn’t feel bad about it,” I told him, like I was in any position to be offering advice.
“There are things in the way,” he continued.
His other hand had moved to my hair. He fingered the strands, let them fall, then lifted them again. At one point I thought I heard him sniff them, but I wasn’t totally sure and didn’t want to get freaked out by it if he had.
“What type of things?”
“Family. Loyalty. Responsibilities. The Ètica. They’ve been etched in my mind since birth. Each time I close my eyes I can see them as plain as day. I am reminded of what I should be doing and where I should be.”
That sounded way too serious and I wasn’t sure how to react, so I turned over and looked at him.
“Do you like where you are right now? I mean, right at this very moment, are you content with where you are?”
The corner of his mouth lifted and his hand flattened on my stomach. “I like being here with you.”
I smiled then, as if someone held a camera in my face and said, “Say cheese.” I know it had to be a goofy as hell grin, but I couldn’t help it. “I like being here with you, too.”
He leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips then whispered, “Por quanto tempo ela dura.”
I didn’t get the chance to ask any more questions because Aidan was kissing me once again. Long, deep kisses that left my breasts tingling, my thighs clasping tightly to soothe that annoying pang between my legs. I rubbed Aidan’s biceps, loving the feeling of pure strength there. When he lay on his back, pulling me on top of him, I let one of my legs slip between his. He cupped my butt and I pushed a hand up beneath his shirt to feel the warmth of his flesh. Our kisses continued, mesmerizing me, and driving both of us to the edge quicker than I think even Aidan expected. When he tucked my head beneath his chin and whispered, “Sleep,” I did, because for the first time in my life I felt like I was exactly where I belonged and I didn’t give a damn who said what about it.
CHAPTER 8
Aidan
No exposure.
The two words rang in my ears from the moment I woke up with Grace in my arms to the seconds after I watched her walk into her dorm building. I knew returning to the campus was a risk. Hell, staying in Victory when the cops were looking for me was a risk, one I shouldn’t be so willing to take. But I couldn’t leave her, not without tou
ching her, tasting her, one more time.
Now that I’d had that time, I should go. I should head back to my apartment, get the few things that I had, and leave this place for good. That’s what Rome had advised when he called me yesterday. The East Coast Faction Leader had told me to leave at that moment and head straight for Havenway, the Shifter Headquarters he was building. That was the last place I wanted to go, the last thing in this world I wanted to be.
Unfortunately, lying in that bed last night staring up at the old dingy ceiling while Grace slept in my arms had hammered home one crucial fact. It didn’t matter how much I wanted to denounce my heritage, how I most times despised what I was born to be, the fact remained that I was different. I wasn’t totally human and therefore had no business wanting, almost needing, the contact with this human female.
That in and of itself was exposure and Rome had no idea.
As for Grace, she was also clueless as to who she’d lain with, with whom she had almost had sex.
Dammit!
I’d never been so glad for a prior bad experience in my life. Although I really was ready to catch a flight to Seattle and beat the living hell out of that punk-assed Rory for what he’d put Grace through. I was glad she’d stopped us, stopped me from making another colossal mistake. Having sex with her would start a chain of events I’d never be able to undo. Mating for us was not like human one-night stands, or at least I knew it wouldn’t be for me. Not with her.
The cat, the jaguar, that lingered just beneath the surface of my skin had made it known that she was the one, she was our other half, our companheiro. As if that had not been confirmation enough, her scent had sealed the deal. As it permeated through my body last night, the cat inside had purred, writhing in pleasure in the obvious connection. It didn’t seem to care that she was a human and not a Shadow Shifter. I, on the other hand, had to care about that. I had to care that the laws of the Ètica dictated that no Shadow Shifter should expose him- or herself to a human, that we should remain separate and apart from this species, while living right beneath their noses.
Mine to Claim (Shadow Shifters: Damaged Hearts) Page 6
