I didn’t have time, though. I was already running late. First a quick band meeting, then soundcheck. Lawson insisted on a quick meeting once a week ever since the whole debacle with Drinkswine. He wanted to make sure we were all keeping our heads screwed on straight.
Everyone else had already arrived at the venue when I got to the dressing room.
“Took you long enough,” Dixon said when I walked through the door.
I gave him the middle finger.
“Please tell me it wasn’t Hope keeping you busy,” Cross said.
“Hope?” Dixon said with a groan, as if her name was poison on his lips.
“Fuck no.” I slapped the back of his head as I passed by him to the little fridge in the corner for a bottle of water. “I haven’t seen her since the parking lot and I aim to keep it that way.”
They all let it drop so Lawson could fill us in on what we had coming up. A few promos, radio interviews in a couple of the cities to promote the show. Kissing Cinder didn’t do much of that anymore. Didn’t need to. But we needed to bring people in for us. All part of the plan for us to headline a tour soon.
The meeting didn’t last long, which left Cross and me alone in the dressing room.
“Come on,” he said as soon as the door shut behind Booker. “What’d the she-beast want?”
“What do you think?”
“Oh, please,” he said with a groan. “You’re not that good.”
“First, fuck you. Second, I am that good. And third… ” Cross had been my best friend for a really long time. If I was going to tell anyone, it’d be him. I could trust it’d stay between us. “She says she’s pregnant.”
His eyebrows shot up and the fucker didn’t blink for an eternity. Then he drew out the word he said next. “Reallllllly?”
I shrugged. “That’s what she said.”
“You’re sure it’s yours?”
Shrugging again, I said, “How the fuck would I know?”
He rolled his eyes. “But could it be?”
“Obviously. But I wore a condom every damn time so who the fuck knows?”
“Fuck,” he whispered.
“Yeah.”
“What’re you going to do?” he asked finally.
“I told her I want proof. She says I have to wait till the kid is born, but I’m going to talk to Lawson and see what the fuck I’m supposed to do. Or what I can do.”
“Yeah. Best to be careful, especially with what we just went through with Drink. We don’t need any more bad press.”
I nodded. “Exactly what I was thinking.”
Cross stood and stretched. It was almost time for soundcheck, so we needed to get to the stage.
“Hey.” I stopped him after I stood as well. “Have you talked to Indie?”
“How do you mean? I talk to her all the time.”
“Yeah, no shit.” We both stepped into the hall and began our walk to the stage. “I mean in the last hour or whatever. I saw Bellamy outside her hotel room. She was on the phone and crying.”
Cross gave me this side-eyed knowing look that made me groan.
“She’s your girlfriend’s best friend,” I said, as if that’d explain why I wanted to know.
“I know who she is,” he said. “But I think there may be another reason you’re concerned.”
I swallowed hard and kept staring down the hall in front of us.
“Indie hasn’t said anything,” he finally said. “I’ll let you know if she does.”
Couldn’t really ask for much more than that, I supposed. Not without tracking Bellamy down and getting answers myself. Answers I wasn’t actually entitled to.
We didn’t leave the venue between soundcheck and the show. A lot of the time we did. Sometimes we didn’t and just ordered food and ate in the dressing room unless the venue had something set up. I didn’t usually care one way or the other. The days went so fast that staying inside made me more productive.
Indie and Bellamy joined us at some point and Bellamy stuck pretty close to Indie. But she looked fine. Nothing like I’d seen before. Now she was laughing and smiling, as if nothing weird had happened earlier. Maybe I’d read too much into what I’d witnessed, but I much preferred this happy, carefree Bellamy. At least this Bellamy didn’t make me want to simultaneously wrap myself around her like body armor and rain down violence on whoever had made her cry.
When Bellamy glanced my way and smiled, my chest swelled. That was the look I wanted on her face always. Then the girls left and it was like all of the energy went with them.
Onstage that night, it became clear that Booker was the bassist for us. Though it was also the third time I’d seen him in a Star Wars T-shirt. I hadn’t taken him for a Sci-Fi geek. As much as I thought he would be our new permanent bassist, the rest of us would have to talk about it before he became official. I found myself glancing to the left, where Bellamy and Indie had been the night before. Obviously, I knew they weren’t coming to the show tonight. Something about spending the time with Vince, but fuck, I wished I’d see that curly red hair bobbing up and down, the vision of Bellamy dancing to our music.
The crowd was amazing. The amount I watched sing along to our songs grew every night, which was totally the point. This was what we’d been working for.
When we left the stage, the roadies began breaking our shit down to set up for Kissing Cinder and I just wanted a shower. I wasn’t sure why venues had showers like gym class in high school. A big room with a bunch of showerheads jutting out from the wall and a group of naked guys. I didn’t care about the naked guy part, but I’d always found it odd.
“After party in the hotel bar,” Dixon said over the steam.
“After party?” I asked.
“Unofficial after party. But they have a separate room and we’re gonna use it.”
“We?” Cross called out.
“Well, not you,” Dixon said back. “You act like an old married guy and never come out with us anymore.”
“Indie’s only on the tour till the end of summer,” Booker said. “Can’t blame him for picking her over us.”
“Exactly,” I agreed. “After that, he’ll be blue-balling it.”
We finished up and took a car back to the hotel together. In the lobby, the three of us went right toward the bar as Cross went straight back to the elevators. I predicted he’d be naked within five minutes.
People were packed into the bar when we walked in. Probably Dixon’s doing. He liked having the girls around and we’d been restricted for a while after everything that had happened with Drinkswine. When one of your band members got caught having sex with underage girls, it really was in everyone’s best interest to back off the after parties and the women who came with it.
Now we were free again. Lawson had said he’d thought Drink was going to take a plea deal, but we’d cut him from the band and put as much space between us as we’d needed to.
“Hey, Ransom. Great show,” a blonde to my right called out.
“Thanks,” I said back with a wave as I weaved my way to the bar. “Can I get a beer?” When I glanced to my side, I found Booker, his back to me, a drink in front of him. About to say something to him, someone else slid between us before I could.
“That was amazing tonight,” she said.
Internally, I sighed. Sure, she was cute enough, but I already knew where this conversation would end up. But it was her voice that grated my nerves right at that moment. The tone was too sweet, the pitch too high. She was looking for a hookup while I scanned the room looking for something. Or someone.
“Glad you enjoyed it,” I said, trying to dismiss her.
This woman, tall with long, blonde hair swaying around her, hopped onto the stool next to Booker. He glanced over and raised an eyebrow at me. This party scene didn’t appear to be his thing, either.
“So I was thinking”—she brought my attention back to her—“we should hang out tonight.”
Damn. She didn’t waste any time and normally I might’
ve liked that. Not today.
“Yeah, not tonight,” I said. Booker snorted over her shoulder, so I took a drink of my beer to cover up the laugh I wanted to let loose. That guy might’ve been quiet, but he fucking always watched and took in what happened around him.
“Oh, come on.” She smiled up at me and wet her lips. “I bet I could convince you.”
I shook my head, but before I could respond, Booker leaned into her space, whispering something in her ear. Her top lips curled up, then she hopped off the stool and walked away. I slid onto the stool myself and leaned my forearms against the bar.
“What’d you say?” I asked.
“I told her you have that new super gonorrhea.”
I laughed so loudly that the bartender glanced our way. “That’s probably on the internet already,” I said.
He shrugged. “You looked like you wanted her to leave.”
“I did.”
“Now she’s gone.”
I laughed again. He wasn’t wrong. I had wanted her gone. Now she was gone and I didn’t give a fuck what people said about me online. I turned on the stool so I could see out across the crowded room.
“Looking for someone in particular?” Booker asked me. I shook my head but didn’t look over. “Indie’s friend isn’t here. Or I haven’t seen her at least.”
Now I snapped my head his way. I’d never said I was looking for Bellamy or those beautiful honey-colored eyes, but fuck it, I couldn’t deny it, either. In reality, I didn’t want to be at that party. I wanted to hang out with her. With Indie and Cross holed up in Indie’s room, that probably meant Bellamy was in hers.
Or at least that was where I’d start looking for her.
“I’ll see ya later,” I said, then left the party behind to Dixon.
Chapter Nine
Bellamy
For the first time in a long time I wasn’t just content to hide up in my room alone. Ever since things had started to go sideways with Chris, meaning he’d begun acting like a fucking psycho, there’d been nothing better than being alone in my bedroom with the door locked. Though I’d had to listen to the TV in the living room blaring because apparently my mom’s current asshole boyfriend was partially deaf.
Yet now I wandered around the hotel room in a restless state, wishing I had something else to do. Somewhere else to be. But this tour was the somewhere else for me to be right then. Chris called two more times since the one I’d accidentally answered so I blocked his number. Dude needed a life and to leave mine alone. I change my number a few weeks before coming on tour and stupidly thought that would work.
Even though it was still early, I wanted to give up and try to sleep. Couldn’t find anything else to do.
And then someone knocked on my door.
I knew it couldn’t be Indie. She would still be busy with Cross. So when I looked out through the peep hole and saw Ransom, I smiled but was honestly surprised. I’d heard about the after party downstairs and just figured the guys would be down there until all hours of the night. I pulled the door open all the way.
“Hey,” he said, almost as if he were surprised I’d answered.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at a party?”
“Supposed to be?”
I rolled my eyes and put my hand on my hip. Which was when I realized I only had on my pajamas. Shorts, a T-shirt, no bra. And damn it. The shirt I’d thrown on earlier was Courting Chaos merchandise. I tried to contain my smile and imagine how I must’ve looked with my crazy curls hanging around my face as I stood there.
“I just assumed that’s what you rock-star-types did,” I said.
He furrowed his brows. “Party all night?”
“Pretty much.”
Ransom smiled at me and I could’ve sworn my knees went a little weak. This silence hung between us until I asked, “Was there something you needed?”
“Oh.” His attention snapped back to the two of us. “Right. I was hoping I could hang out in here with you.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. Hadn’t seen that coming.
“I just… that’s not really my thing. The after party. The people. I prefer things a little quieter.”
I waved him through the door. “Come in. I’ve been looking for something to do anyway.”
“Oh really?”
I didn’t like the way he made that sound dirty. “Not funny,” I said with a sigh.
I still had the TV on and had no intention of turning it off. That way, I could focus on something when I needed to distract myself from Ransom’s beautiful face. The stand-up comedian on the screen would be my escape and I thought I’d need it.
“So why do you hate parties?” I asked as I curled my legs under me and sat down on the bed.
“I don’t hate parties,” he responded quickly as he dropped onto the bed beside me. There wasn’t anywhere else as comfortable to sit.
In another world, being on the bed with a freaking rock star would’ve seemed weird or like something that never would’ve happened in a million years. I’d known Indie’s dad was the Vince Cinderstone and meeting him had seriously been a highlight of my life, but this… no, this I’d never imagined.
“Then why are you up here with me instead of down there?”
He watched me before he answered. Those dark eyes focused in on me so hard that I couldn’t look away if I wanted to. For a guy who didn’t get embarrassed, he sure thought hard about his answer before speaking.
“Is it surprising that I’d rather spend time with you than a room full of strangers?”
“I’m a stranger.”
He winced. His lip pulled up as his eyes narrows. Maybe he thought I was being an idiot. Maybe I thought I was being a little bit of an idiot. “You’re not a stranger, Bellamy Harper. But let’s get to know each other.”
Ransom pushed his shoes off, then slid on the mattress to rest his back against the headboard and stretched his legs out in front of himself. I sat right where I already was, though the idea of leaning into him became utterly appealing.
Then Chris’ face flashed in my mind and I remembered why I’d sworn off guys altogether.
“What do you want to know?” I asked, trying to make myself feel as brave as he always seemed to be.
“Everything. You were born, then… ”
A loud laugh bubbled up from deep in my chest. No way would I go back that far and I didn’t think he’d actually want me to.
“OK, OK,” he said. “Tell me about your family.”
An easy, somewhat safe topic. “I have a brother who’s great.”
“Older? Younger?”
“Older. He’s twenty-three.”
“That’s it?”
I nodded. “What about you?”
“Two brothers. Both younger.”
“And do they love having a rock star brother?” I figured they’d either love the attention or hate it.
“Most of the time.”
“Parents?” I asked.
“Still married. Yours?”
“Never married.” And for some reason I wanted to tell Ransom the entire story. “Brendan, my brother,” I clarified, “and I have different dads. We still both lived with my mom, but his dad gave a shit and mine didn’t. My dad was a rebound after his dad and our mom had broken up. My whole life has been an endless stream of assholes that my mom is sure is the one.”
“That sucks.” He rubbed a hand over my back.
“Yeah. I think she never really got over Brendan’s dad. So he’d go on visitation with his dad and I don’t even remember what mine looks like. Oh, but he’d get his dad and stepmom to let him bring me with them on vacation sometimes like when they went to Mackinaw Island.”
“Your mom didn’t care?”
I shrugged. “She didn’t seem to.” I stared at the television screen across the room as this silence hung between us. “What about you? Your parents are still married, so you had a fairytale childhood? Where did you grow up?”
“Ransom, Dixon, and I grew up in
Chicago and it was normal, but I don’t know about fairytale.” He hopped up from the bed and crossed the room to the minibar, grabbing us both bottles of water before coming back. “We got into trouble. But normal trouble, not like grand theft auto. Just pranks and shit.” Then he drained half that water from the bottle before continuing. “Why were you crying earlier?” he asked quietly.
“What?” I snapped my head around to look at him. Of course I’d known he’d seen me but honestly hadn’t thought he’d ask about it.
“I saw you.” His eyes were soft as he looked into mine, yet they burned as if they were on fire. “Earlier. You tried to wipe your tears away before I saw it, but I still saw it. What happened?”
“Nothing,” I said back quickly. Ransom continued watching and the weight of his curiosity held me in place. “Most of the time, my mother’s words roll right off my back. But every once in a while, something gets through my hard candy coating,” I lied.
It hadn’t been my mother on the phone earlier, but admitting that Chris was quickly becoming more than I could handle wasn’t so easy. I prided myself on being able to handle anything that came along. But with Chris, I was teetering on the edge, about to fall off, and buried in way more than I could handle. That was why I’d wanted to come on tour. To escape.
He snorted. “Hard candy coating.”
“Well, I have a very tough outer shell.”
“And a milk chocolate center?”
“Exactly.” I giggled quietly. The look on Ransom’s face told me that he clearly didn’t believe me. But his words said he wasn’t going to push. It was as if I could have opened up to him if I wanted to and in some ways, I wanted to. In others… I just wanted a couple of weeks of peace.
Now it was my turn to ask about something I’d seen but knew nothing about.
“Who was that in the parking lot? That thinks I’m your side piece?”
Ransom (Courting Chaos Book 2) Page 4
