Day 92
Dana
“SHH! YOU’RE GONNA GET caught, and my parents will kill us both,” I said.
Jordan shimmied up the downspout, slipped, and fell six feet back to the ground. He lay on his back, panting heavily.
“I could have died, Dana!”
“You’re so dramatic, Jordan. I’ll come down. Go... go... hide in the shrubs or something.”
I watched him dart behind our neighbor’s hedges. It was the worst place to hide since Mrs. Dennison didn’t care much for me. If she saw him hiding on her property, she’d call my parents if only to see me get into trouble.
I eased out the dormer window and onto the roof. Getting over the edge of the roof and onto the downspout was tricky, but it wasn’t the first time I’d done it. The screws were getting loose. It rattled when I slid onto it, so I slid down quickly and darted into the shadows at the back of my house. I checked my watch. 11:57 pm. What on earth was Jordan thinking showing up at my house as such a late hour?
I felt him approach from behind, and I spun around. I didn’t want us to get into trouble, so I planned to grab him and shove him into the darkest part of our yard, the little sliver that the security lighting didn’t illuminate. I was shocked to find him holding a cupcake with a lit candle.
“What the heck?” I asked.
“Happy birthday, Dana. I mean, I think I’m a couple minutes early, but I didn’t want to be late.”
He remembered. It had been more than a month since I told him when my birthday was. I didn’t expect him to remember, let alone celebrate it. No one ever did.
“Well? Are you gonna make a wish and blow it out, or am I gonna keep standing here like a dummy?”
I couldn’t help but smile. It was physically impossible for me to be unhappy in Jordan’s presence. It was hard to believe it had only been three months since I’d met him officially. I took a step toward him and bent over to blow out the candle, but he jerked it away.
“Ah, ah! Did you make a wish?” His dirty blonde hair fell into his face, and he brushed it away yet again.
“It’s not my first birthday, Jordan. I know how this works,” I said. He put the cupcake back in front of me, and I blew out the candle.
He handed me the cupcake, but rather than eat it, I sat it on the picnic table for later. When I turned my attention back to him, he was holding a small box.
I chuckled. “Are you gonna give me something every time I turn around? If so, I could totally get used to it,” I said.
He laughed... so easy and carefree. I had no idea what I’d done to deserve someone like Jordan, but there he was. He was standing in front of me, looking at me, only wanting me. He stretched his hands out, the small box cradled in his palms. I took it and slowly unwrapped the ribbon, wanting to savor every moment.
My parents would forget my birthday. The last birthday they remembered was thirteen, and only because I’d fallen off the roof and needed a cast on my broken arm. It was coincidental. The nurse asked my birthdate, and I told her. She wished me a happy birthday, my parents looked very embarrassed, then they took me for ice cream after.
“What is it?” I asked, shaking it a bit.
“Open it and see,” he insisted, so I tugged at the paper. Once the box was unwrapped, I slid the lid off.
“It’s not much, but I hope you like it,” he said sheepishly.
I stared into the box with a folded piece of paper tucked neatly inside. I pulled it out and unfolded it, revealing his freakishly neat handwriting. It was a meticulously crafted poem he wrote just for me. I began to shiver; the words he’d chosen were so beautiful and meaningful, I couldn’t help but get chills.
“You’re cold. Here, take this,” he said and shoved his hoodie over my head. It smelled like him. He always smelled good.
It was unseasonably chilly for early fall, but I liked the cold. Still, I snuggled deeper into the hoodie that smelled like the only person I ever wanted to spend my time with. I had to force myself to spend time with my friends, not that I didn’t love them, but when Jordan was gone, so was my heart.
“D-do you... I mean, is it okay?” he asked. He was so unsure of himself. He shouldn’t have been. Everything he did was always right.
“It’s perfect, Jordan. I love it, honestly. It’s the best present anyone has ever given me.”
He gave me his grin again, melting my heart. How had he stolen it so quickly? Hours. Literal hours and I was wrapped so tightly around him I couldn’t fathom loving anyone any more than I loved him, yet I hadn’t told him.
Seventeen. That’s how old I was when I realized I wanted to tell him but had no idea how.
“Don’t go around telling people I wrote you a poem, though. You can’t mess up my troublemaker name, Dana,” Jordan teased.
I scoffed. “Troublemaker, please. You can pretend all you want, but I know you’re gooey-centered.”
“Am not,” he argued, pulling on the strings of his hoodie to draw me closer.
“Oh, you’re nothing but a big snuggle bear,” I said, teasing him. I loved picking on him. It made him blush when I said things like that to him, and his pink cheeks were adorable, even in the moonlight. I could barely see it, but it was there.
“Again, I say, I am not.”
“Fine, whatever, but I know the truth about you, Jordan Clark. You’re nothing but a big, gooey-centered, snuggly teddy bear who writes poetry that makes his girlfriend swoon,” I said.
He bent over and pecked a kiss on my forehead. “It’s a good thing I love you; otherwise, I’d be really mad at you for picking on me,” he said nonchalantly.
I froze. Was it a slip of the tongue? Was it code for ‘love you like a friend?’ Was it intentional to gauge my feelings? I couldn’t breathe, desperately wanting to tell him that I loved him in return, but frozen solid and terrified. I shook harder, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me.
“Wow, you’re really cold. Are you getting sick or something?” he asked, resting his chin on my head.
I gained slight control over myself and sputtered, “Y-you said... You said you...”
He pushed me away from his chest so he could look at me. “What? What’s wrong, Dana?”
“You said... You s-said you love me.”
He released me and put both hands over his mouth. His green eyes were wide and shocked. The blonde hair fell into his face again, just grazing the top of his cheek. Those cheeks, as deep a shade of pink as I’d ever seen. His reaction worried me. I’d read it all wrong. He didn’t love me, not like that. I had to release him from the shock, to let him know it was okay that he said it but didn’t mean it that way.
“So... you don’t, then? It’s okay. I get it. I mean, we’re seventeen, and we’ve only been dating a few months, so—”
He removed his hands from his own mouth and took my shoulders, quieting me. “Dana, I’m shocked I said it, not that I don’t mean it. I do.” I studied those green eyes cautiously. “I love you, Dana. I love you.”
Day 92
Jordan
HER FREAKISHLY BLUE eyes gave nothing away. There I was bearing my soul, and she just stood there staring at me. Her initial reaction was one of surprise, then when she thought I made a mistake, she seemed disappointed. Women were all hard to read, but I thought I read her well enough until that point.
“Um... could you maybe say something? Anything?” I begged, hoping she would just put me out of my misery already.
“S-say something... any... uh... Oh! I love you, too!” she said, her eyes wide with amazement. My immediate reaction was one of disbelief. She appeared confused and distracted, so it was a little hard to believe her, but then she asked, “Can I tell you something kind of crazy?”
“Anything.”
“It’s very crazy, and you’ll probably think I’m nuts,” she admitted.
“If we're honest, I already think that. I mean, you’re with me,” I joked, but she didn’t like it.
“Jordan, please stop doing that. Hon
estly, it really, truly hurts my feelings when you say things about yourself that aren’t true.”
“Technically, I didn’t say a thing about myself.”
“Don’t play with me. You know what I meant. I told you I love you, Jordan. I meant it, I really do love you, and I can’t stand it when you demean yourself,” she scolded.
“We both know you’re too good for me, Dana. Everyone knows it, but I can’t help how I feel. I love you so much, but sometimes I don’t feel like it’s enough,” I admitted.
She scowled at me, the one expression that rarely graced her beautiful face. Rather than keep arguing with me about something that wouldn’t change how either of us felt, she pulled me down by my collar and kissed me. If I never did anything else with my life besides kissing her, I’d live a happy life. Her delicate lips pressed harder and harder against mine, proving a point she wanted perfectly clear. She loved me.
She broke away a moment before I thought I’d melt. “I don’t care what other people think, and neither should you. They’re not part of this relationship, we are. Are you happy?”
I took a small step back, shocked. “Of course, I’m happy, Dana. I’m not sure I knew what happiness was until this.” Her blue eyes widened a bit as if to say I should ask her the same. “A-Are you happy?”
She smiled. “Yes, Jordan. Now that nonsense is out of the way, can I tell you my crazy thoughts?” I nodded and reached for her. She let me tuck her against my chest while she spoke. “This is crazy, but when I’m with you, it doesn’t feel like we’ve only known each other a few months. I feel like I’ve known you all my life, many lives if that makes sense. It’s so comfortable. I can’t imagine I’d ever love anyone else the way I love you.”
Her thoughts weren’t crazy at all. I felt the same way, but I couldn’t put my feelings into words, not like she had. My lack of response was taken negatively, and she tensed.
“It’s dumb. Okay, sorry.”
“No, no, it’s not dumb, Dana. I was thinking, that’s all.”
She pushed away and looked up at me. “What are you thinking? Let me in there,” she said, tapping her finger lightly on my head.
I took her hand and kissed her fingers, making her giggle. “I was thinking I’m the luckiest person in the world, and I understand completely what you’re trying to say. It’s the way I felt that first day when I asked who you were. It was like I already knew you even though we’d just met.”
The contemplative look on her face was adorable. She was trying to find better words. I knew because she was always searching for the right way to say everything. “Do you think we did know each other before? Like in another life or something?” she asked, then ducked her head. “I’m not sure I believe in reincarnation or multiple lives, whatever, but this sure feels that way, right?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? Maybe we did, and we just forgot? I wouldn’t know how any of that works, but I’m glad we found each other.”
“Thank goodness for hot days and ice cream, right?” she asked.
“Dana?”
“Hmm?”
“Promise you’ll never forget me. No matter what happens, promise we won’t forget each other,” I said, suddenly afraid we had danced this dance before in another life, and it never worked out. I didn’t know what the future held for either of us, but I knew I always wanted her in my life.
“Jordan, what’s wrong?” she asked, her brow furrowed. She sensed the panic in my voice, a fact that didn’t surprise me at all. I took both of her hands and pulled her close again. I wrapped her in my arms and squeezed. “Jordan?” she mumbled into my chest.
“Just promise me. Promise we’ll always be together. And if we can’t be together, promise you’ll never forget me.”
“You're silly. Of course, I’ll never forget you. You’re my first love, Jordan. I can’t picture my life without you in it. In fact, let’s make a pact right now,” she said determinedly.
“A pact?” I asked.
“Yes. The Forget Me Not Pact. No matter what happens, no matter where we go or what life throws at us, we will never forget each other. We’ll always come back to one another and maybe one day...”
I arched my eyebrows, waiting for her to finish her sentence, but she never did. I had a good feeling I knew what she was getting at, but our age made saying such things and making plans like that almost foolish. Still, seventeen or seventy, I knew I wanted her for the rest of my life, so I removed the stress from her plate and dished it onto mine.
“Maybe one day, when it makes sense, we’ll be married and have a bunch of adorable little kids,” I said.
She smiled the glorious smile I thought of whenever I was having a difficult day. “I didn’t want to be that silly teenager who thought getting married was a good idea,” she said.
“We can know it’s what we want, but be wise enough not to run off and do it until we’re older, Dana.”
She giggled again. “Well, this got heavy really fast.”
I laughed with her. “Well, we could lighten things up a bit with some more kissing. I mean, it is your birthday, and we should celebrate properly.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close again. “I think that’s a spectacular idea.”
I kissed her and kissed her until her lips were swollen, and my jaw hurt, but I still couldn’t get enough of it. Whether it was reconnecting after a previous life or the stars aligning perfectly, I didn’t really care. I had her, this amazing, angelic person who loved me, and there was no way I was taking it for granted.
I had nowhere better to be, but she needed to get some sleep for school, so I eventually broke free and urged her to go back inside. Her parents weren’t all that fond of me, to begin with, and getting caught kissing her in the middle of the night would surely put me on their bad side.
“I’ll call you tomorrow after school, okay?” I offered.
She nodded and started to climb the downspout again. I hoisted her up, and she caught her footing, then slid into her open window. I started to walk away but she called after me, so I turned to see her holding her curtains open.
She blew me a kiss and called down, “I love you, Jordan.”
“I love you, too, Dana. Forever.”
Day 365
Dana
STORM CLOUDS OVERTOOK the gorgeous blue sky, but it was still so beautiful I didn’t bother to get up. It was hot, one of the hottest days on record, but I soaked up the sun with Jordan beside me. He opened his eyes and rolled his head to face me.
“We should take cover before the storm. Want to get some lunch? Maybe the storm will pass while we’re eating.”
I groaned and slid closer to him. I’d hated hot weather for as long as I could remember, but for some reason, it was tolerable with him. He loved the lake beach and laying with him on the sandy dirt was the least I could do for the boy who did everything for me.
“No,” I whined. “I want to spend as much time with you as possible before I have to go on that stupid vacation with my parents.”
He chuckled. “We’ll still be together eating lunch. It’s only a week vacation, Dana, then we can get back to our summer of fun.”
I sighed and said, “Yes, a week, but it will be a week of them pushing me into law school while simultaneously trying to make me break up with you.”
He sat up on the blanket and stared into the waves. He was annoyed. “Did you have to bring that up on our first anniversary?”
Though annoyed, his tone was measured and even. A part of me hated that he never yelled or screamed the way I did when I was angry—not at him, but generally speaking. I knew I hurt him bringing it up, and I regretted it, but it was bothering me, and I wanted to discuss it.
“I brought it up because... Well, because I wanted to tell you, it wouldn’t work. I know you worry that one day they will convince me to break it off, but I won’t, Jordan. I love you as much now as I did the first minute I met you.” His head jerked in my direction, surprised. They begged me t
o go on, to finish my thought. What the heck, why not? “Yeah, I said it. Since the first day I met you, happy now? You can tease me about love at first sight now.”
All he did was stare back at me like I was a space alien—not exactly the reaction I expected from the boy who told me he loved me three months into our relationship. I began to worry that he was retracting, losing that feeling now that a year had passed. He was almost eighteen. Maybe he wanted to explore other options. My heart pounded, and my head ached with tension waiting for him to say something. Anything.
He said nothing. Seconds passed, minutes. When I couldn’t take the humiliation any longer, I stood and brushed the sand from my rear, then started to walk toward the car. I was almost there when I was grabbed from behind. He spun me around and hugged me so tightly I could hardly breathe.
“I’m so sorry, Dana,” he whispered in my ear. “I love you. I love you so much, and I thought I was the only one who felt that the first day. I was just shocked, that’s all.”
I pushed him away so I could breathe but let him hold onto my hands. “You fell then, too?”
He nodded frantically. “Yes, so hard. Remember when I asked who you were? It was like someone just plucked you from Heaven and stuck you right in front of me, my perfect match for life at seventeen.”
I laughed. “You have a way of saying things that makes me believe you read a lot of romance novels in your spare time.”
Finally, his wide grin spread across his face, and he laughed with me. “I may or may not have read a few on my work breaks,” he admitted, “but it doesn’t change the fact it’s true.”
“Why do you get upset when we talk about it?” I asked.
“Oh, Dana, I’m not upset about that or about you bringing up your parent's undeserved hatred of me.”
The way he said it, I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me. “Let’s walk to Garbo’s and talk, please?” I asked, hoping I could pry it out of him.
He nodded again, slower this time since the last time he nearly rattled his brain right out of his head. He led me down the street in silence, but it was obvious he was gathering his thoughts. Whatever he had to say, it was a doozy. After a while, he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pulled me into another hug.
The Forget Me Not Pact (The Secret Author Series, #1.4) Page 2
