by Lexy Timms
"Knowing your uncle, that is exactly what he would intend to do." She took a deep breath and clasped her hands in front of her. "I need to return to the celebration."
"I need to make an appearance. Come, let's go together." He extended his arm, his mother taking it and smiling up at him as she finished wiping away her tears.
"Lucky girl to have such a man giving up royalty for her."
"I'm the lucky one, I believe."
"So you're serious about going? Does anyone know?" John asked, rubbing his beard as he leaned against a gate at the castle.
The moon sat high in the sky, the fullness of it washing over them and giving everything a calming effect. Erik glanced up, wondering what Linzi was doing. Who she was with? What she was thinking about. Did she know he was coming back to her?
"I'm going. Only my mother, and now you, are aware of my plans." He let out a long sigh. "I swear I feel like a boy trying to get in bed with his first lass."
“One heck of a journey to get in a bed.” John laughed and slapped Erik on the back a few times. "We're talking about a girl who could have killed you, but nursed you back to health. Why do you look so concerned?"
"I don't know. I'm a bastard, and I don't deserve her. I would assume she's moved on with her life and if she had the babe..."
"What babe?" John cut him off mid-sentence.
"She thought she might be full with my bairn when I left." Erik slipped his hand into his breeches and leaned against the fence, looking out at the property before them.
"And you left anyway. Damn..." John knew better than to finish his sentence. He was still speaking with a king.
"The child wouldn't have been noticeable at that point, but an old witch in town told her of my arrival and of the babe. I arrived the way the woman said. Linzi believed the truth of the child in her womb." He swallowed hard. "The day I left..."
"You don't have to talk about this, Erik. I support you whatever you do. You want the crown? We'll get it. You want the girl? We'll get her. You want to talk..."
"Stop sounding like a puss." Erik popped John in the chest as the two of them laughed. "I haven't wanted to live this life since I left. I don't know how the lass did it, but she burrowed herself so far into my heart that everything has slowly wilted without her here."
"I get it. I couldn't leave Polly if I had to. I think I would just have to pick her up and run should the call come again."
Erik glanced over toward his friend, a smile lifting his lip. "Not sure you're strong enough to lift her. What is she, eight months pregnant?"
"Aye. I need to marry the girl and make her an honest woman."
"Nay. Then she would leave you for an honest man."
They laughed as others joined them, adding to the enjoyment of the moment. So many of the men that had come across the seas with them had dispersed and disappeared. Only John remained around the castle and stayed involved. John and Paul.
"Sire. Do you need me to be on patrol tonight?" Paul moved toward Erik as the remaining men left and the King walked back into the castle.
Somehow, after a year of having Paul in his ear, he still didn't know the man. He was pragmatic, forever speaking negativity over everything. Half of the reason Erik had struggled with his decisions had been because of the advice of the large Viking. They had grown closer and the relationship was less terse, but he still was hesitant around the large man.
"No. There are other guards already on watch tonight." Erik paused as they stood in the large foyer to the castle. "I'm heading back, Paul. I'm abdicating the throne to my uncle."
"What?” Paul’s mouth dropped nearly to the floor. “Why would you think to do that?"
"I have many reasons, but Denmark needs a proper king to lead its people. I’m not that person."
"I disagree with that."
"Aye. You can take it up with the new king."
"Where will you go?"
"Back to Britain."
"When are you leaving, your highness?"
"In a week or so."
"I can have men ready to leave by midnight tonight." Paul crossed his arms over his massive chest.
"Trying to get rid of me, soldier?"
"No, Sire. When I came to this place I knew not what type of man you were, but I do now. Having to fight on the battlefield is easy compared to the wars behind closed doors. Power is an illusion that most men want and never could control if they did."
"Have you always been this wise?" Erik smirked as he moved to walk down the hall, his world having shifted enough to never be truly surprised anymore.
"King. Captain. Erik." Paul paused as his expression changed.
Something about his tone put Erik on guard. He stopped and turned back to face Paul. "Why do I feel like the world’s about to shift again?"
"I have news.” The large man sighed heavily. “It may not rest well with you.”
“What is it?” Erik’s words came out sharp.
“Several of us came with you that day in Britain… Under Marcus' command… We were told to destroy you from the inside out.” He straightened and looked Erik in the eye. “I was the chief deceiver back then."
Erik kept his face expressionless, the story one he had been waiting to hear for quite some time. “Go on.”
"My view shifted some time ago. I'm not sure how you did it, but I support you in your decision to return to the Britains. I’ll stay here and protect Denmark as my family would want, or I’ll come with you. I will follow whatever you ask of me."
“Tell me everything.” Erik reached for the sword at his belt and rested his hand on it, ready to pull it out if necessary.
Paul kept his hands at his sides, unwilling to fight. "Marcus didn't die that day."
“What?!” He should have known. It had been too easy and he too full of self-loathing and broke heartedness to fully realize. “I saw the blade go in. That man was near dead.”
"I don't know if he fully survived. I did speak with him after I dragged him off. He ordered me to leave this for you. To anonymously leave it in your room, so you would question all your men.” Paul reached at his side.
Erik drew his sword and held it at Paul’s throat before he had time to react.
Paul held his hands above him in surrender. In his right was a folded piece of paper.
“I deserve what you see fit, but I want you to know it is I who has it. I’m the guilty one to carry it with me. I've never read it."
"You were a pawn in a game far too complex for either of us to comprehend. You should have given it to me right away." Erik ripped the letter out of his hand and opened it quickly, his stomach turning as he read his cousins words.
I take pleasure in you believing that you have won. All I have wanted since I was a boy was the crown. To rule people and protect them and in return be loved by the multitudes. You took that from me. You never wanted it. You don’t deserve it.
So in return, I shall take the only thing you desire.
Bring me the crown.
~ Marcus
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Linzi
"How long will you have to feed the baby from your breasts?" Luke sat across the table from her, the look on his face kind and somewhat annoyed at the same time. The sun had set not long ago and the house lay quiet around them.
"As long as he’ll let me." She glanced down, the boy at her breast not more than six months old. He was a large baby and it took all her energy to keep him healthy and content. Far too often she sat at the table with the child attached to her, but the honest truth was that he made her happy.
Light blond hair coated the baby’s head, his eyes crystal clear like the sea. The boy was a spitting image of his father. He smiled as she looked down at him, his actions breaking his connection to her.
"Do you still think about his father a lot?"
Linzi looked up, hearing the pain in Luke's voice. They had been together for a year and a half, most of it as a married couple, and yet nothing had ever developed beyond thei
r friendship. He was a good man, and would be with her for the rest of her life. To hurt him was senseless and unkind. "Sometimes,” she told him half truthfully, “but only because I wonder if he looks like me or him as a baby.” She waved her free hand. “You are his father now." She smiled, her true emotion hidden far beneath where her dreams and hopes of being with Erik lay destroyed.
He lived in Denmark, ruling his people. He was where he should be.
"I'm going to make my rounds on the property. Finish up with the lad and let's go to bed?" Luke stood, reaching across the table and tugging at a few strands of her hair.
"Da’ and Sara said they would take a turn tonight."
"Do you want me to take the lad over to their place?"
"I'll take him." She waited until he left to pull the baby from her breast, turning him and lifting him into the air, nuzzling her nose against him. "Kenton Nathaniel, you are the most beautiful boy in the world! The best thing in my life. The reminder of a future I wanted so badly and now I have it... with you."
She brought him to hover in front of her as he cooed. Linzi laughed, her eyes brimming with tears at the good and bad in her life. She touched her nose to the boy’s before snuggling him closely.
Luke and her father had worked together to build another small house at the edge of the property for her da' and Sara to move into. They wanted Linzi and Luke to have the larger of the two places, which was the original home she grew up in. They had redone most of the inside of the house, the harvest from the year before bringing in a good amount of money to assist them. Luke was handy with making furniture.
Life was good, but her heart had grown numb. The child brought joy and happiness, but it was only him that kept her willing to wake each day. She had hoped her heart would grow to love Luke, but it had been too traumatized to let go of the past.
She wiped at her tears, angry for being so sensitive about something that was part of the past and had no promise of resurrection.
Linzi slipped out of the old house and pulled a cloth wrapping around the baby, binding him to her as he made sounds of contentment. She sang softly to him as she walked the long distance across the field.
The war with the Vikings had been called off, by Erik no doubt. Whether it was his decision or not, it felt like he was trying to send a message from afar to her. He wanted peace.
"Did you know that your da’ was the bravest man I've ever met?" she whispered to the child. Her promise to Luke to allow the boy to grow to believe he was born of two highlanders would be kept, but the child was too young to understand her for now. She relived the memory as if it was only yesterday. "He came onto my land with death sitting upon him." She pressed her lips to the baby's head, breathing deeply, enjoying his scent. "He would have died, had I not saved him."
She looked up as the moon sat high in the sky, the night having ushered in a strange fog of sorts. The baby made another sound and she glanced back down at him.
"Oh, I stopped in the middle of the story, right? Apologies." She smiled at Kenton, wishing like hell the boy was old enough to talk to her and spend time running in the fields around their land. She rolled her eyes at herself. That time would come soon enough. "So… I brought him back to the house all by myself. Well, the horse helped, but I did it on my own. I cleaned him, patched his wounds, and brought him back to health. He and I fell in love while he was here, or at least I did. He was strong and handsome, like you are going to be one day. He had rune markings and…" She let her voice trail off, knowing she was going to the road she tried so hard each day to avoid. She brushed her hand over the baby’s head as she approached her father's new home. "He had to leave but wouldn't it be brilliant if he returned? We couldn't be a family because I belong to Luke, but you could know him. You could learn to fight and grow up braver and stronger."
She laughed as a thought crossed her mind. "Better you learn to fight from me. I've never ended up almost dead, but your father seems to do so a lot." She clamped her silly dreams off. If Erik came, he would most likely take Kenton away from her, bring him to his country to live in his castle and she would be nothing but a hollow shell.
She knocked softly on the door before opening it and walking into the small room.
Sara looked up from the hearth, a large smile on her face. "There's my baby!" She walked around the small table between them and helped Linzi unwind the wrappings.
"Me or the babe?" Linzi asked, winking and handing the child over to her stepmother. "Where’s Da’?"
"In the bedroom, lying down. He hasn't been feeling well this evening, so I forced him to go to bed."
"Should I check on him?"
"You can if you like. I'm going to sing to this handsome lad and then rock him to sleep." Sara turned and moved toward the fire as she whispered loving words to the babe.
Linzi watched for a minute, reminded of her own mother and the love they felt as a family all of her life. How she hoped that she and Luke could create that for their children, both hers and theirs together.
Moving quietly down the hall, Linzi opened the door to her father's room, sticking her head in and jumping at the sound of his voice.
"Where's my grandson?" He sounded tired. Older.
"Being spoiled to death by your wife." Linzi moved into the barely lit room.
"Come, sit down." Her father groaned as he moved over in the bed. Linzi sat beside him, tucking her legs under her as she faced him.
"Luke's out making his rounds. We'll make sure everything is good and we're all safe before turning in." They always checked to be safe now. When Kenton had gone to war, they hadn’t done it, but Luke insisted, now that the war against the Vikings had ended.
"I know you two will.” He swallowed, his face looking pained as he did so. “You're a good woman, Linzi."
"Thank you, Da’. I wish Kenton was here to share in this life with us."
"I do too, but I'm sure he's not the only one you wish were here."
"Yes. I wish mother was as well, though I love Sara and am glad the two of you have made a life together."
Her father reached out and touched her clasped hands, tugging them toward his face. He leaned up and kissed her hands before putting them on his chest. "I'm talking about Erik."
She flinched, as if his name spoken out loud hurt her physically. "Oh.” She inhaled and exhaled slowly. “He’s long gone, Da’. I made a mistake and somehow it was turned into a beautiful disaster. I don't deserve the babe, but I'll take him."
"He has the look of his father."
"He does." Linzi nodded, working hard to keep her tears at bay. "We’ll raise him as Luke's son though. I don't want little Kenton to think he's any different from the other children we’ll have one day."
"Have you and Luke spoken about more children?"
"No, but it is a conversation that will start soon, I'm sure. I first need to wean the babe before we talk about having another."
"Do you love him?"
"More than life itself."
"Linzi, I don’t meant the bairn. Do you love Luke?"
She sat back and lifted her heels to the bed, pulling her hands from her father's grasp and placing them in her lap. She was unsure of how to answer his question. It wasn't like him to pry and while they were close, she had never expressed the depths of her heartbreak to anyone – ever.
"Lass..."
Linzi glanced up as tears spilled onto her cheeks. She covered her face with her hands as a soft sob left her. Her father's arms wrapped around her, pulling her close to him like he did when she was a little girl.
"Love, I'm so sorry." He kissed the top of her head. "I knew something in you died, but I didn't realize it was hope."
Linzi pulled back, trying to swallow the next wave of sadness back down. "I have hope." She didn’t want her family to think she believed she had nothing.
"Do you?"
"Yes. Luke’s a good man and I’ll be faithful to him for as long as I live."
"I know you will, but your mother
and I... we loved each other, Linzi. She was my life and my heart. I didn't ever think I would heal when she was taken from us, and I didn't for a long time."
"But you have now." Linzi covered her mouth with her hand, hating the way her lip quivered as devastation resurfaced over and over again.
"No." He released her and sat back. "I'll never get over your mother. When I got sick last year and wondered if death was coming to me, I grew excited. To soon be in the arms of the woman that made my heart sing and my day full of light. I miss your mum every day. I love Sara, but different than the way I loved your mum."
"I couldn't have lost you too, Da'." Linzi brushed her tears back again.
"I know, lass. I fought through the fever. I wanted to remain beside you and I’ll be here until the gods deem my time having come, but know that if I could find your mother... if I could reach her – there’s nothing I wouldn't do."
"What are you trying to tell me?"
"I'll let you figure that out. You're a smart girl, a brave woman, and I couldn’t be prouder to have you as my daughter." He reached up and touched her face before she stood.
Linzi didn’t like the way he was speaking to her tonight. It was as if he was preparing himself to say goodbye. She wasn’t going to let him go without a fight. “I love you, Da’.” She pulled the covers up to his chest and leaned down, kissing his forehead once before slipping out in the hall. Confusion swam around the pit of her stomach.
Sara turned as Linzi walked in the room, a warm smile on her face. "Shhhh... he's asleep."
"Good. The big babe in the bed nearly is as well.” She smiled, hoping Sara wouldn’t notice her tears. “Are you sure—"
Sara waved her off and Linzi smiled softly before slipping out in the night.
She stepped out into the cooler air and let her eyes adjust to the color of the night. Glancing down the path from the house, she saw Luke just ahead. She hurried to catch up to him, slipping her hand into his.
