What to do with Rayne? What to do with Rayne? I tip my head back and let my mind roam over the feel of her skin, skin that shimmers like golden honey. Skin as soft as a baby’s bottom. Skin I never want to let go of.
Worse—I’ve caught her scent. Or rather, it has ensnared me, wrapping its tendrils around every atom in my body, captivating me. She wants me, and that desire is part of her delicate perfume. But something subtle lies beneath, an undertone, something that hints of mystery and challenge. Her scent still lingers on my hands. I put a finger in my mouth and taste her. So good. Sensuality just begging for discovery. She’d licked then rolled her lower lip between her teeth, a quick little gesture—then shook herself as if she’d caught herself wanting something beyond her reach. Something vulnerable with an undertone of kink. Endearing. She’s a conundrum. I drift off with her scent and taste conquering my senses.
I wake full of resolve. Today, I get Sasha. Today, I stash Rayne with Connor and his beloved Kat, both friends and owners of the Masquerade Club, a rather sophisticated and very private sex club. With their security, they’ll keep Rayne safe until I’m back with Sasha safely in tow. I refuse to entertain any other result. I will find Sasha. I will kill Viper. Strike three, asshole.
I grab a quick shower, shave, and dress in my usual uniform—a black hoodie over a black tee, jeans, and my Wolverine 1000s. I push the sleeves up on my forearms. Good to go.
I check the monitors for Viper’s men. No sign. Excellent!
Rayne comes out of the bedroom as I head toward her.
“I see you’re ready. Good.” I keep my tone businesslike. No way I want her to get the wrong idea about where things stand. At least until I figure out where things stand … where I want them to stand. Oh, hell.
“Good morning to you too.” She sounds bitchy enough, but she keeps shifting and looking away like she’s nervous.
”Come on. Let’s change your bandages before we get going.”
“I’ll do it myself, thank you.” Her tone is cold, removed.
“I need to check for infection. Why are you such a bitch about this?” Not that she’ll tell me the real reason, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to put up with this attitude all day.
She sighs as she sits on the gurney but sits quietly while I inspect her wounds.
“Looks good. I’m grabbing a coffee and shower, then we’ll be out of here. I’m hoping Sasha finds a way to turn on her tracker.” Any second now. Please, Sasha. The thought of what they may have done to her makes bile rise in my throat. I swallow it down and head to the elevator with Rayne following closely behind. Time to rejoin the real world.
“Where are we going now?”
“Get cleaned up and meet me in the kitchen. The elevator doors open on the cyclone left by Viper’s men. “Goddammit.”
They’ve ripped apart most of the books and tossed the room. The monitors haven’t prepared me for the extent of the damage. There was no reason to be that destructive except for spite. Another layer of hurt will be administered when I find them.
“We’d better clean this up.” Rayne picks up one of the leather-bound volumes and carefully dusts it off before placing it on the shelf.
“Leave it. The cleaning crew will get it.” I stride through the room, heading toward my bedroom. I need to get this woman’s scent off my body and out of my head. Rayne runs to keep up with me, cursing under her breath.
“What cleaning crew? I thought no one else was here but that Steve guy. Where is he, by the way?”
I grimace at the thought of answering her myriad of questions. There’s no way she can know, but she tends to ask questions that ripple the curtain hiding my despair.
“How long will we be gone?” She pulls on my hoodie, bringing me to a halt. I turn and stare her down. She draws back a step.
I keep my tone even. “Can we save the questions for the car? Right now, all I want is a shower and coffee.”
The hurt on her face makes me think I’ve kicked a kitten. Coral weaves in between Rayne’s legs. I reach down to pet her, but she turns her back on me, giving me a view of her royal hindquarters as she rubs against Rayne’s leg. Rayne picks her up and buries her face in Coral’s fur. I feel like a heel.
“Look, I’m sorry. I’m tired and worried. Let’s just get ready and get out of here, okay?” I reach down and brush one of her black curls from her forehead. A tight smile makes another appearance. While I talk, I inch closer to my bedroom.
She smiles back, a genuine smile that reaches her eyes. God, she’s beautiful, bruising notwithstanding. “How long will we be gone, do you think? Will we need clothes?”
“Don’t worry about it. You’ll be staying with some friends of mine. Kat and Connor. Kat loves shopping, and she’s about your size. She’ll no doubt have you in a new wardrobe by the time I get back.”
“And where do you think you’re going?”
“To get Sasha.”
“Not without me, you’re not.”
Willful. Just like the little dragon she is. Thus starts our pattern—we go from bed to battle … and hopefully back again.
16
Rayne
Baby, get it all straight; baby don’t leave it too late …
“Not without me, you’re not.” Involuntary anger courses through my veins, raising my volume about thirteen decibels. I knew it. Jaden’s trying to dump me already.
Every bit of his body language screams escape. He walks quickly until he stops in front of ornately carved wooden doors. I follow on his heels. He grasps the handles, sighs, then leans his forehead against the wood.
“Look, you won’t be any use to me where I’m going. You need to rest. Heal.”
“So you’re saying I’m a burden?”
“No.” Jaden draws out the syllable as if the extra time would help him hold his last nerve, the one I’m straining to break. “I’m saying I have something else I need you to do more. Right now, I need your computer skills, not your cunning ways.”
I can’t help it, but I almost preen at the compliment. My shoulders slump as I realize how pathetic that is. It’s been just over a week, and his opinion matters to me. What is wrong with me? I pull myself up to all five feet three of my inches and face him squarely; after all, this is the job he was talking about.
“Okay.” I let that syllable drag out to equal his. “What do you need me to do?”
He turns and faces me. “I want you to search the Masquerade Club’s security tapes for Viper’s goons.”
“And how on earth—”
“Already done. I’ve dropped photos onto your screen. Kat will make sure you’re set up.” His lips curve a little at the corners. “How about we continue this conversation in the car?”
“How long have you had the Chiron?” I shut my eyes and lean my head back. We’re driving through a long tunnel. I’m doing my best not to be claustrophobic. Once again, I pay strict attention to slowing my breathing and my heart.
“A few months.” Then silence.
I have no idea what to do with this strong, silent thing. I have no idea how to behave, and I’m on the verge of hyperventilating. I. Will. Not. Do. It. I will be the poster child for self-restraint. I drift off into one of my imaginary stories. Jaden has kidnapped me. He doesn’t bend me to his will with violence; he uses silence. Each night, he dines with me. The finest dark brown silk shirt outlines each muscle …
I sigh. I suck on my bottom lip, then catch myself. Stop that. He might notice. I throw a quick glance in his direction. The tunnel lights dimly light the interior, giving me a startling glance at his chiseled silhouette.
“I don’t know a lot about cars, not really. I just know what I like.”
The sound of his voice snatches me out of my daydream. What the hell do I say to something like that? I know enough about him to know he could probably spew forth the relevant facts about the Chiron, but he won’t. I search my mind for a safe topic. I barely hold in a screech when I happen on what feels like brilliant misdirecti
on at the time.
Jaden clears his throat but keeps his eyes riveted on the windshield. “Yes, the Masquerade is a sex club, and yes, I mentioned it before. What do you want to know?”
Here’s my chance to get a peek into the forbidden world. A world I’m busy convincing myself holds no interest for me. I’m completely indifferent. Yeah, right. So why does my heartbeat go from a walk to a trot with my breathing following closely behind? I hope my spike in adrenaline doesn’t give off a scent. Or if it does, I cross my fingers and hope only vampires can smell it. I force my mind back to the present.
“What do they do there?
Jaden shoots me a quick look before focusing on the road. It’s as if he can’t believe his ears. The burn of embarrassment creeps up my face. The urge to babble takes over all that self-command I had a minute ago.
“I mean, I know what they do there, but how does it work? Is it like a brothel in the movies? Where they have a parlour downstairs with all the girls dressed in fabulous gowns and the men sitting around with snifters of brandy figuring out which one they want?”
“Whoa, whoa. Breathe.” Jaden laughs. “You’re not far off. It’s a bit more elaborate than in the movies. We’ll be there shortly. You can find out for yourself.”
My smile fades as this new reality strikes home. Hope and light die that very minute. So that’s how he’s going to force himself on me. If he was going to do that, wouldn’t he have done it already? I ignore the voice of reason in my head. He makes my heart race, but despite our porn-induced interlude, I don’t think the feeling is mutual. But what if I’m wrong? Even if I’m not, oh God, what if he wants to have sex at the club? Would it be in public?
“Earth to Rayne.”
That righteous feeling drops over me, and snippy works its way across my tongue. “If you think you’re going to get me to fuck you at some sex club, you’ve got another think coming, buddy, boss or no boss.”
His hands tighten on the wheel. He positively glowers. Then, he laughs. We drive from the dark into the freshness of a bright fall day.
“Babe, I won’t need a sex club if I want to fuck you as you so eloquently put it.”
“You wish,” I mutter under my breath.
He chuckles. “You may wish, but I might be more than you can handle.”
“You wish. Such male ego.” I can’t stop the grin that splits my face wide open. Just like my legs want to be.
“I thought you were completely indifferent to sex?”
Awkward silence for thirteen beats while I picture smacking him in the face for throwing my words back at me.
“I am … completely.” I manage to keep my voice from cracking. Jaden seems perfectly comfortable with these agonizing silences.
“You know you’re going to have to talk to me about it sometime. Why not start now?” Jaden keeps his eyes trained on the road, but it feels as if he has tentacles crawling all over my skin, looking for the small crack where …
“That would be before you drift off to never-never land again.”
Bastard. “Fine, fine.” I never give in gracefully. “What exactly is it you want to know?”
“I want to know about your life. I want to know what makes you Rayne.”
“You mean you want all the sordid stuff?”
Jaden throws me another of those inscrutable looks. The you-can-do-better-than-that look. “What happened to your mother?”
This time I shoot a look. He wants to know about my mother? “What about my mother? There isn’t much to tell.”
“Well then, that’s probably a good place to start. What happened after the police took her away?”
“Dragged her off, you mean. Nothing happened, really. They took her to some psych ward. ES said we couldn’t visit her because they had her stripped naked in a glass room for observation. He said nobody could visit her for three days. That was one of the last moments I felt something.”
Jaden covers my fist with his hand, the fist I didn’t realize I pounded on my thigh as I spoke. I’m over this. It has no effect on me whatsoever. His warmth seeps into me like a wave of reassurance washing out the shame.
Part of my brain detaches—taking notes, analyzing, calculating. ES called it manipulating, but it’s only manipulating if I use mean tactics to get what I want. Otherwise, it’s called strategy in my mind. I call this pocket of activity in my brain BG, short for bitch goddess. Whenever I’m in danger, BG comes out of hiding, prodding from way down deep. Now, she sits on my shoulder, watching it all, taking it all in. Ready to give her opinion. Jaden is safe. But I know nothing about the guy. Am I deluding myself? I shake that thought off.
“Then ES got drunk. He told me to cook supper, but I didn’t know how because I was only eleven. He bawled, falling to his knees right in front of me, slobbering and blubbering. I bet that’s when I first started hating sloppy drunks.” I swallow hard and inhale, taking stock with BG. Curiosity and compassion are the only vibes coming from Jaden.
“He wrapped his arms around my knees. His head was buried in my stomach. His tears made a big wet spot on my top. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where to put my arms, my hands. ES had never touched me before. Ever. Now this.” I cast another glance at Jaden. How can he understand this? He probably comes from a loving family. He had to have something going for him to be a doctor, for Christ’s sake.
Jaden pulls into the parking lot of what looks like a corner store out in the middle of nowhere. He turns off the engine and faces me. He crooks that eyebrow impelling me to go on. Gawd, this guy was better than truth serum.
“He kept crying and asking me to look after things. He made me promise I’d take care of the family just like Mom did, just until she got back. I didn’t know what that meant. I was confused. He was the parent. Why was he asking me to be the mother? I started to cry.” I stare out the window at a distant memory I want to obliterate from my mind. I can’t stand to see Jaden’s disgust now that he knows. I push down the tightness working its way up my throat. Something like an extinct volcano working its way back to eruption. I’m over this.
“He made me promise never to cry again. He made me promise to be the strong one. He made me promise to take care of things. And I did. That was the second thing that happened to make me stop feeling.”
I take a chance and sneak a look at Jaden. I can’t stand the understanding and compassion shimmering in those golden eyes. My lips tighten. I know what comes next. Well, not if I get there first.
“And before you ask, yes, I did try to get help. That night, I called my aunt and asked for help. She cried. She said she was sorry. She said there was nothing she could do. I called my gram, my mom’s own mother. She said I was a big girl now, and I’d have to take care of things. She said if I didn’t, they’d come and take Summer and me away. She said they might never see us again. She made me promise.” My voice drops to a whisper. I stare at his big hand still grasping mine.
“She told me to listen to ES and be a good girl and do what he said. She made me promise. I was so spineless. And so scared. I wanted to make her happy. I just wanted everything to be all right. I promised.”
17
Jaden
Don’t want to throw my love away …
The car idles in the parking lot of Dee’s General Store, which, according to the sign, is home of the world’s best butter tart. They aren’t quite as good as my mother’s, but they run a close second. I originally planned on driving straight to the Masquerade, but I need to hear the rest of what Rayne has to say while she’s talking. I need to know more about this little dragon I’d rescued, and Dee’s is as good a place as any. Kat said the tapes wouldn’t be ready for a couple of hours. Take the time.
Rayne’s last few words are barely audible. “I just wanted everything to be all right. I promised. I wimped out.” She sits with her head bowed under the weight of her shame. I have no idea what to say in response to this kind of pain. It ripples off her in waves, but unlike her bruises, the source is rooted
deep within her psyche. I give her hand a gentle squeeze.
“Did you ever talk to anyone else about it?” I’m horrified that everyone disregarded her pleas. The relatives are obviously trash, but what about her teachers or doctors? For the first time in three years, a cacophony of emotions roils around in my head, emotions I’ve worked hard to defeat. Every instinct in me runs from attachment of any kind. I will not allow the horrendous pain of loss to penetrate my world again. Losing Savannah was enough for several lifetimes. I won’t let her go.
Then something within her changes. As if she boots any sense of martyrdom into oblivion. Rayne’s eyes shine with strength and light, hard like magnesium alloy as she gives me the once-over. I can almost read her thoughts, and she’s fully within her rights if she thinks I’m a complete idiot. I use my left hand to turn the car off, keeping my right firmly wrapped around hers.
“Do you mean did I ask one of my teachers or the school nurse? Well, let me tell you what happened when I went to a clinic for help.” Her voice drips with bitterness. “A guy who raped me when I was sixteen cut my vagina. The next day it was still bleeding, so I hitchhiked to the hospital in a nearby town.”
She heaves a huge sigh and stares out the window as if the memory drags her to the bottom of an abyss. Her right hand trembles in her lap until she pulls it into a tight fist.
“Didn’t you have a GP?”
“What the hell is a GP?” She sounds annoyed, but I recognize it for the cover it is.
“A general practitioner. Your family doctor.”
“Oh yeah, we had one all right. He would have run right to ES, and I already knew what ES would say. And I was right.”
“And what did ES have to say?” I’m building up a serious case of intense dislike for her stepfather.
“He said I must have been asking for it. Kevin, that’s the name of the guy, came around the following afternoon looking for his wallet. ES invited him in then made me go for a ride with him. The bastard not only told me that I asked for it, he told me that’s what women are good for.” Her husky voice is so quiet I can barely hear her.
Rage (A Jaden Rayne Adventure Book 1) Page 10
