by JoAnn Durgin
“Aren’t you kind of like my boss while I’m at the camp? Not to mention we haven’t known each other very long.”
All of a couple of days, as a matter of fact. It seemed like much longer. “Is that a problem?”
“What?” Lexa shook her head, confused. “The boss part or the not knowing you long part?”
“Listen, we don’t need to overanalyze this. We’re just going to share some dessert and conversation, get to know one another better.”
“Don’t you worry. I’m not overanalyzing anything.” She sounded huffy now. “I want you to know I didn’t come to the TeamWork camp to find a man, Mr. Lewis.”
Sam bit his lip not to laugh. “Well, that’s a relief.” He paused for effect. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t sign on for this mission specifically to find a woman either, Miss Clarke.”
Surprising him, Lexa laughed. “Good. As long as we understand each other.” He wasn’t sure what to think about that statement. She slid down in the seat again. Maybe she needed to tighten her seat belt.
“Believe it or not, I’m thinking of your reputation. I don’t want to get you into any trouble, that’s all.”
“I’m a big boy. I can handle trouble.” That was an understatement, especially when it came to the woman sitting across the seat from him. “Besides, TeamWork is a volunteer organization. Like everything else, kissing is voluntary.” Sam avoided looking at her, swallowing his grin. But he caught her smile.
~~**~~
Drinking in the sounds and charming ambiance of the festive Riverwalk, Sam walked beside Lexa as they descended the stone steps to the walkway bordering the canal. Slow-moving tourist boats floated through still waters beside them.
It was a bit crowded, but the pace was conducive to quiet, shared conversation. Sam shoved his hands deep into his pockets to stop from capturing her small hand with his. It was too soon for something like that. That struck him as odd since they’d already shared that unbelievable kiss. It hadn’t been ordinary by any stretch of the imagination. Holding hands with Lexa now seemed almost as intimate. The woman beside him was reawakening needs, emotional as much as anything else. If he reached for her hand now, he might not relinquish it—ever.
A wistful smile crossed Lexa’s face. She waved back with enthusiasm and smiled at a little boy in one of the boats.
“Judging from your expression, I’d say you’ve been here before.”
“Yes, but it’s been years. I was only eight when we visited. Right before my mom died.”
“You haven’t been back since then?”
Lexa shook her head. “No. But I remember the open-air markets and all the terrific southwestern art and pottery. I also remember this annoying little boy who kept following us around and wouldn’t leave me alone.”
He chuckled. “So, you had male admirers even then.”
Lexa smiled. “No, I don’t think it was that. He just wanted to get my parents to go into his grandfather’s tourist shop. If I recall correctly, they did, and spent a small fortune.”
“So, the boy’s plan worked. Pretty crafty, I’d say. Should have hung on to that guy, Lexa. He’s probably the president of an ad agency or Fortune 500 company.”
Lexa shot him a sidelong glance. “No, I’d rather hang out with a missions group for no pay, get all dusty, dirty and sunburned, smash my thumb with a hammer and get accosted by an armadillo. Not to mention ridiculed by the heartless leader of the group.” She darted another quick glance at him before lowering her gaze. “Even if most of those things were my own doing.”
“I wouldn’t agree that I’m heartless.” Sam met her eyes. “I think there’s a heart deep inside me. As a matter of fact, I know there is since it’s beating pretty fast right about now.”
“Glad to know the old ticker’s working.”
Lexa’s humor and sarcasm must be her defense mechanism, protecting her from getting too close—or allowing anyone to get close to her.
“Why don’t you tell me why you’re a financial planner, Sam.”
Putting a hand on her elbow, he steered her to one side of the walkway as a throng of senior citizens passed by them. Standing directly behind Lexa, he caught a whiff of her sweet-smelling hair. It reminded him of his mother’s roses. He nodded and smiled at a few tourists as he guided Lexa back onto the walkway. His eyes strayed down to her feet, and he grinned when he spied pink nails peeking up at him. Again, he was being way too obvious.
“Like you, I enjoy numbers and moving them around so they make sense for someone’s future. It’s thrilling to help people discover how sound financial planning can enrich their lives instead of confining them. I like to show clients how to embrace what’s ahead by careful planning and foresight. Expand their horizons by highlighting the possibilities.”
Lexa stared at him like he had three heads. “Did you memorize that from some kind of financial planners’ guidebook?”
“Yep. Financial Planning for Dummies.” Sam’s grin widened. “You know what I mean. In some ways, it’s very similar to the work I do for TeamWork. Instead of planning finances, I’m working on securing eternity and helping people see that what’s ahead is something to look forward to. It isn’t frightening. At least it doesn’t have to be. Don’t you agree?” He shot a curious glance in her direction. Lexa didn’t answer. Judging by her furrowed brow, she found it thought-provoking.
“Tell me more about yourself, Lexa.” They sat across from one another at a small table in one of the charming cafés bordering the Riverwalk. A gentle breeze lifted her hair, and a long, blonde strand blew across her cheek. Even though the braid was practical for the worksite, Sam liked her hair down. It looked shiny, feminine, soft. Touchable.
Lexa didn’t try to mask her beauty, but she had no idea how gorgeous she was. That faint sprinkle of freckles across her nose and the rosy bloom in her cheeks made her look younger than her age. Unlike before, she wore some kind of lipstick. Probably to keep him at bay. When Lexa hesitated, Sam wondered why this woman found it difficult to talk about herself. He wanted to know everything about her—her past, her dreams, and especially about her relationship with the Lord.
“What do you want to know?” Her voice was soft, and those lovely eyes avoided his.
“What are you afraid of?”
She looked up at him for a long moment. “You don’t beat around the bush, do you? I’m afraid of armadillos, I guess. I just never really knew that until yesterday.”
Sam chuckled before his eyes narrowed and his smile sobered. “I’ll tell you my greatest fear.”
Lexa raised her head with a gleam of renewed interest shining in her eyes. “I find it difficult to believe you could be afraid of anything.”
Leaning closer, he lowered his voice. “I’m afraid I’ll somehow miss God’s true calling in my life.”
She looked surprised. “Isn’t that why you’re here in San Antonio, directing the TeamWork camp?”
“Yes, but I feel there’s something more to do. I just don’t know what it is yet. I’m thirty-one, but I don’t believe financial planning is what I’m meant to do the rest of my life.”
Lexa nodded. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon enough. But I know how you feel. I’m twenty-five, and one of the reasons I came here is to try and figure out who I am and what I want from life. I know there’s more to it than working all the time and going out to eat with my friends once a week.” She inclined her head toward one of the boats gliding through the nearby canal. “I’d say in some ways we’re pretty much in the same boat, you and me.”
Sam leaned one hand on his chin and noted how Lexa lowered her eyes. Was she afraid he’d somehow see too much? That he wouldn’t like something he discovered about her? The waitress approached their table. Lexa ordered strawberry cheesecake and coffee, and appeared amused when he asked if they served anything with peaches.
“Sounds like one of your passions in life is peaches.” Lexa graced him with that shy little smile. It got his heart pumping
, that smile. So pretty.
“How can you tell?” Sam chuckled. “Is there anything better? I love them and always have. Any way they come. For the record, what’s your favorite fruit?” His eyes trailed to her lips, and he tried not to stare. It was difficult to look at her and not remember those lips, the way she sighed, the feel of her in his arms. He shifted in his chair. He was quickly becoming the romantic fool.
Lexa thought about it for a moment. “I believe I’d have to pick . . . the apple.”
“Good choice. Just not as good as the peach.” Sam’s smile sobered again. “Come on, Lexa. Name one thing you’re afraid of.” Sitting back, he waited. He’d wait all night, if needed.
She seemed unaware he watched her every movement. Her profile was lovely. Yes, Lexa was beautiful in her own, unique way, but didn’t know it. That in itself attracted him. Something stirred inside. A woman like this could make him change his mind on any number of things. In some ways, it thrilled him. In other ways, it scared him to death. Oh, yes, he was lost all right.
Chapter 13
Everything about Sam Lewis screamed of deep honesty and integrity. The man wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to get to know his volunteers. But Lexa doubted he asked the other new volunteers the same questions he asked her. The TeamWork director viewed her in a different way or she wouldn’t be sitting across this table from him now. On a date. Answer the man.
“I’m afraid,” Lexa began, swallowing hard, “of not making a difference in the world.”
Sam’s eyes softened. “Are you thinking TeamWork will help you make a difference?”
Lexa nodded. “I’m hoping it will.”
“Are you talking about making a global difference, or a difference in the lives of a few people?”
Lexa held his gaze. “I’d like to think my life means something to someone else. Whether it’s one person, or a few people, or more than that—it doesn’t really matter.”
“Why is it so important to you to make a difference in the world?” Sam’s voice was quiet, his expression thoughtful.
“Because it’s not all about me. I want to impact someone else’s life. I hope that doesn’t sound selfish on some level.” Lexa shrugged. “I suppose it will help me feel closer to God, more worthy of His love, if I’m doing something to help someone else other than myself.” There. She’d said it. Let him deal with that statement however he wanted.
Sam surprised her by smiling. He moved his arm so the waitress could put their dessert and coffee on the table. When she asked if they wanted cream, both nodded. “Do you mind if I ask a blessing?”
People pray before dessert? Lexa bowed her head and listened to Sam’s rich voice, struck again by his depth of reverence, this man’s deep faith. It practically radiated from him. She was surprised he wasn’t the pastor of a church.
Finished with his prayer, Sam eyed the peach pie. He looked like a child anxious to open his biggest birthday gift. He was an intriguing man, and it was more than obvious he wanted to get to know her better. The thought warmed Lexa from the inside out.
“Sam, why did you ask me what I’m afraid of instead of, say, something I love?”
He took his first bite of the pie. “You can learn so much more about someone when you discover the root of their fears. Don’t worry,” he added, “I’ll find out what you love soon enough.”
“You’re a deep thinker, Mr. Lewis. Your turn,” she prompted, stirring the creamer into her coffee before adding a packet of sweetener. “Tell me something else you’re afraid of.” Looking at him over the rim of her cup, Lexa watched as he added the same to his coffee. His hands were strong and masculine, with long, tapered fingers and well-groomed nails in spite of the fact that he worked hard alongside his crew at the worksite.
Sam grinned. “Don’t think for a second I’m going to leave that last comment alone.”
“I know.” Lexa raised her face, embracing the light breeze ruffling through the trees along the Riverwalk. She closed her eyes for a few seconds.
Sam thought about his answer for a couple of minutes, his brow furrowed as they enjoyed their coffee together. He took another hearty bite of the pie. “Warm, just the way I love it. Please, taste yours,” Sam encouraged, watching as she used her fork to cut a tiny piece before tasting it. “I have to say, you are about the daintiest eater I’ve ever seen in my life. But your smile is the most genuine I’ve ever seen in my life, too.” He grinned. “It’s positively . . . effervescent.”
Lexa felt the warmth of color invading her cheeks. Must he say things like that? Did he do it to get a rise out of her? The worst—or best—part was that she liked it.
“Okay, you asked me a question. Time for an answer,” he told her a minute later. After sipping his coffee, Sam leaned across the table. “I hate knowing a lot of really good people are going to spend an eternity in hell, especially if I have the power to help change the outcome.”
No matter how Lexa thought he might answer, it wasn’t that. Maybe he should be a pastor since that sounded like something she imagined one would say. She stared at him, unsure how to respond. A rising feeling of dread rumbled inside. “You’re not judging anyone, are you, Sam?” Was he judging her when she said she wanted to feel closer to God and worthy of His love? Wasn’t it the job of Christians not to judge, but to love and accept others as they are?
Sam frowned and lowered his fork. “I don’t want to think that’s what I’m doing. It’s just that, based on what I know, what I’ve seen and heard, a lot of my friends don’t know the Lord personally.” A look of great sadness crossed his face and he lowered his head.
“Have you tried asking them? Maybe they’re Christians but have fallen away for some reason . . .” Lexa’s voice trailed. “Perhaps they accepted the Lord when they were just a kid, but then didn’t have the opportunity to go to church for some reason.” She shifted in her chair and put her fork on the edge of her plate, her desire for the cheesecake gone.
“What I’m trying to say,” she said slowly, “is that there are any number of reasons why people don’t know the Lord, or don’t grow in the Lord. Reasons that sometimes are beyond their power, their reach, their ability to do anything about it.”
Sam fixed her with the intensity of his gaze. Reaching across the table, his hand covered hers. “Is that what happened to you?” When she didn’t respond, he pressed, “I really want to know. Please tell me.” His voice sounded earnest, his hand squeezed hers. Her answer was very important to him.
Withdrawing her hand, Lexa lowered her gaze and stared at her hands twisting together on her lap. “Yes.” Tears stung her eyes. “My mom used to take me to church, but I was only eight when she died. Dad didn’t want me in church for reasons known only to him.” She shrugged. “That’s just the way it was. I didn’t have a choice.”
“But when you were on your own, old enough to go to church of your own volition?”
A surge of anger mixed with sadness, and even guilt, flooded her mind. Lexa stared at Sam with wide eyes, shaking her head. She forced a few deep, calming breaths. “Sam Lewis, have you been living in some kind of sheltered Christian cocoon your entire life?” Noticing that others at nearby tables turned their heads in their direction, she lowered her voice. “You’ve probably lived this perfect Christian life and don’t even know the struggles others face. It’s not always easy,” she stammered, her cheeks growing warmer by the minute.
Swallowing hard, Lexa forced herself to continue. She’d started to let it out, so she might as well finish now. “You want to know the truth about me?” Lexa’s eyes blazed. “I’m sorry if I don’t fit into this little spiritual mold or whatever it is you’re looking for. The truth is, I’ve never had anyone take an interest in me spiritually to show me how to have a personal relationship with Christ—not that I’m blaming anything on anyone else. I’ve lived a good moral life, and I acknowledge the fact that God is in control, but, simply put, I don’t really know how to live like a Christian. All I know,” she sputter
ed, “is what I know. Which isn’t very much.” Her voice sounded small and defeated. Tugging her purse over one shoulder, she started to walk away from the table. She held her head high, but tears threatened to spill over onto her cheeks.
“Wait. Don’t go.” Sam stood up and reached out to stop her. “Please.”
Pausing and looking down at his hand, Lexa struggled between wanting him to remove it and wanting him to pull her close and never let go. How she longed for someone to shelter her forever, keeping her safe, warm and protected. Loved.
“You haven’t even had much of your cheesecake yet.” The slightest tinge of humor surfaced, but Sam’s brow furrowed.
Lexa looked up at the deepening night sky and forced several deep, calming breaths. She finally took her seat opposite him again. Eyeing her strawberry cheesecake, she wondered if she’d have the stomach for it.
“I suppose I deserved that.” Sam held up one hand. “Truce. Listen,” he continued before she could respond, “I really want to see the Lord through your eyes. I can’t do that unless I know where you stand spiritually. I need to know if you’re living for yourself or living for Him. It’s not wrong, and please know I’m not judging you.”
“Why?” Lexa sat back down in her chair, her dessert untouched, waiting for his answer.
Sam looked into her eyes again in that way he had of disarming her. “I like you, Lexa. Very much. I want to know you better. As more than a TeamWork volunteer. But in order to do that, I need to know where you stand spiritually.”
Lexa could barely contain her agitation. “So you’ve already said. I suppose it’s only fitting that the apple is my favorite fruit,” she seethed.
“Why do you say that?” Sam shook his head. His expression was one of confusion and dismay.
“The whole Adam and Eve thing.” She waved her hand. “I’m like tempting, forbidden fruit to you. I’m not the type of woman you want or need in your life. If you take a bite from the apple I’m offering you, you’ll be entering a world of earthly sin, your eyes will be opened and you’ll be banished from God’s perfect garden. Or something like that.” Lexa crossed her arms and turned her head, impatiently wiping away a tear that coursed down her cheek. “I don’t know how to talk to you. I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing.”
