by JoAnn Durgin
“There’s a great little family-owned ice cream shop not far from here. We’re regulars there.” She paused, hoping he wouldn’t wonder what she meant by the use of that pronoun. Don’t be paranoid. “We could go there.”
Wiping his hands on his napkin, Josh nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Let’s go get the car and you can be my navigator.”
“Do you own your house?” she asked as they drove along the backstreets.
“Yes. It’s fairly small, but it’s in a nice, quiet area of Baton Rouge.”
“Tell me about it.” She leaned her head against the seat.
Glancing over at her, Josh smiled. “What specifically would you like to know?”
“There’s no underlying reason. I’d just like to know.”
“It’s a two-story, three bedroom with two full baths upstairs and a half-bath downstairs. I bought it new, and although it’s only two years old, it’s made to look old. It has hardwood floors, a fireplace in the living room, a sunken dining room with a small but gorgeous chandelier, wall mural, and window seats in one of the two guest bedrooms. But the best feature of all is the kitchen.” He darted a quick look at her. “It’s completely modern with stainless steel, state-of-the-art appliances.”
Winnie sighed. She knew he must have a state-of-the-art something. “Sounds like heaven. Do you cook much?”
“That’s the irony. I’m working so much, I don’t have time to cook. The few things I make aren’t bad—broiled fish or chicken, and I usually toss in a little pasta or shrimp for variety.” He shot her a grin. “Spices add to the flavor, too. Maybe sometime you can come visit and I’ll cook for you?”
“Cajun spices, I presume? I’m learning all sorts of interesting things about you today.” She didn’t know how to respond to that last comment about visiting him in Baton Rouge, so ignoring it was the easiest thing. “Tell me more about your law firm.”
“We have offices in four Louisiana cities, and ours is the biggest in terms of attorneys and staff. There are twenty-eight partners, twelve associates and about thirty staff.”
She paused a moment. “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”
He looked her way. “That’s a very thought-provoking question.”
“And do you have a thought-provoking answer?”
“Are you speaking in terms of my career or personally?”
“Depends.”
“On what?” he asked.
“On how you choose to answer, I suppose,” she said. “I don’t know how I’d answer that one, so don’t worry about it. Forget I asked. I respectfully withdraw the question.”
“Oh, but you did ask, so it’s on the table. Let me think about it. When we get to the ice cream place, I’ll do my best to answer whatever questions you have for me. On one condition.”
She avoided looking at him. “What condition is that?”
“You agree to do the same. I’ll ask questions and you agree to answer them as openly and honestly as possible.”
“Hmm.” Maybe if she didn’t offer her definitive agreement, he wouldn’t hold her to an answer. Oh Lord, this is not a good thing. This could definitely lead to big trouble. Huge trouble. Funny how she’d talked with Chloe about conditions a day or two ago. With the man beside her, it seemed like a lifetime and yet only a minute ago. Glancing at her watch, she smiled, thinking of Chloe. Dottie would pick her up and be at the apartment when she got home around five-thirty.
“Looks like you just enjoyed a sweet thought. Care to share?”
The man missed nothing. “A girl has to have some secrets, Josh. Turn left at the next side street.”
He followed her direction. “It’s over here on the right,” she said, pointing out Richardson’s Ice Cream Shoppe. “They’ve got the best homemade ice cream in the Houston area. Sam loves their peach, but I guess that goes without saying. I highly recommend their strawberry, too.” He found a spot further down the street. After he pulled the car to a smooth stop, Winnie put her hand on the door handle and started to climb out of the car.
“Would you please sit still and let a gentleman open the door for you? You’ve got to get used to being treated like a lady.”
The irony of that statement hit home, and again she hovered on the edge of fresh tears. Coming around the car, he opened the passenger door and helped her from the car. Such a chivalrous gesture only highlighted his words.
“Winnie,” he said, “come sit over here with me.” Taking her by the hand, he led her to a park bench in a shaded area to the side of Richardson’s and lowered himself beside her, his hand still firmly clasped over hers. “I think we need to forget about that night and start fresh. In many important ways, we’re different people now.” His voice softened. “And yet the same in all the best possible ways.”
She shook her head. “We can’t push it aside, forget it ever happened, Josh.”
He blew out a sigh. “I know. I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t tell you it’s hard not to think about it sometimes when I look at you. You were beautiful then, but you’re even more so now. And yes, I mean physically beautiful as well as in every other way. When we kissed last night, it brought back memories. A lot of memories—all of them spectacular. But you’re right. They’re incredible memories and I can’t push them aside. Because I, for one, don’t want to.”
“Then maybe we shouldn’t kiss anymore.” She held his gaze.
He looked at her for a long moment. “Is that honestly what you want?”
“No. Not really. Honestly. No.”
“Was it the same for you, Winnie?”
“What?”
“You can be obtuse when you want, can’t you? Did kissing me last night bring back memories for you, too?”
“I’m not blind, or stupid or totally numb,” she snapped. “Of course it did.”
Those green eyes settled on her again, the gaze intense. “Winnie, you have always been a lady, you are a lady now, and you will be a lady as long as you live. Please don’t tell me I made you feel cheap that night.”
“That’s the thing. You didn’t make me feel like I was doing anything sinful. You made me feel special, cherished, and loved. You held me, you listened to me, you let me cry. Believe it or not, I rarely cry, although you’d never know it judging by my behavior when I’m with you—then or now.”
“You’re incredibly sweet and vulnerable, and always have been. Sure, you sometimes put up this tough exterior for the rest of the world to see, but it doesn’t fool me for a second.”
“I do not,” she said, resisting the urge to cross her arms.
“Oh, yes you do.” The words were low and firm. “Do you think you can get past that night? I guess that’s the bottom line here. Look,” he said, “you might find this hard to believe, but that night we spent together in San Antonio probably meant more to me than you.”
Winnie stared straight ahead, her heart pounding. “Why do you say that?” How is that even possible?
“Because I really cared for you. You touched something deep inside no woman ever has, and I do believe it was my heart.”
She swallowed hard. “Really?”
He tipped her chin and her eyes met his. “Really. It took me a few months to understand it, but by that time I was too ashamed of my behavior and figured you hated my guts. You might spend the rest of your life regretting it but that night was a turning point for me.” He rubbed a hand over his brow and a sadness passed over his features.
Part of her wished she’d known. Even so, would she have done anything differently? It took her a moment before she could speak. “Josh, I need to ask you something else, and please answer as honestly as you can.”
He nodded, waiting.
“If Sam hadn’t thrown you out of the TeamWork camp, do you think anything might have developed between us?” Articulation was hard when the potential for further heartache came calling. Maybe it wasn’t a fair question, but one she needed to ask.
He looked at her for a long moment. “I don’t know that
I can answer that question. In some ways, we have to look at it from the perspective that the Lord allowed that night to happen for a reason. Just as we’ve made our way back to one another now. There’s a reason, a purpose, for it. You want to know the thing I struggle with most of all?”
“What?” She could barely breathe.
He touched the side of her face, those green eyes deepening. “Even though I know we violated God’s law, that night with you didn’t feel wrong in my heart. If anything, it felt completely right. I’ve made my peace with the Lord about it, but I hope you can forgive me for feeling that way.”
She sniffled. I feel the same way, but I can’t tell you. “There’s really nothing to forgive.” Shaking her head, she put her hands on her knees. “I can’t believe we’ve managed to get through this entire conversation without me bursting into tears. Now, how about that ice cream?”
“I’ve never minded your tears, Winnie. It shows how caring and compassionate you are. And now,” he said, helping her up from the park bench, “I’m going to buy you whatever ice cream cone, sundae, banana split or anything you want. Buy one of everything. Your choice. Although they might not have mango ice cream.” His smile was warm and teasing.
“I love strawberry, too.”
“Good. We can share.”
A few minutes later, cones in hand—strawberry for Josh and mint chocolate chip for her—he looked around the small shop. “What do you say we go back outside to our park bench?” He held the door as they walked together, the bell on the door jingling as they left.
“Bye, Winnie,” Bea Richardson called with a wave as they departed.
“Thanks. See you again soon.” She knew Bea looked at her with renewed interest. After all, she’d never come into the shop with any man other than Sam. Even when the church singles group had come to Richardson’s, she always sat with the other ladies. Bea had done her share of sizing up Josh as they’d ordered their ice cream. Judging from the wink and thumbs up, she approved.
“What other questions do you have for me?” Josh asked as he settled beside her on the bench again. He stopped eating and watched as she licked around the base of her cone so it wouldn’t drip on her blouse.
“What?” She grinned.
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Question number one, please.”
“I don’t know if I’m really up for twenty questions. Let’s just enjoy sitting here together.” Their conversation up to this point had been heavy enough.
“All right, but feel free to ask anything. I don’t mind answering your questions.”
“Same here.” Maybe that offer wasn’t wise, but it was too late now. “Here, have a bite of my cone.”
“No, thanks. Not my favorite.” He held up his cone. “Strawberry?” He watched, wide-eyed, as she sampled and pronounced it delicious. “Okay, here’s a question,” he said. “What was the dead-end job you mentioned, the one before you started the catering business with Lexa?”
That one was easy. Winnie spent the better part of the next five minutes telling him how she worked as a marketing assistant at a medium-sized advertising firm. It was good experience, but it paid poorly and offered no advancement, especially since she didn’t have a degree. She told him about some of her favorite projects, being careful to gloss over the part where she didn’t work for a few months after having Chloe. “So, you see, the catering really is my niche. At least I think so.” She giggled, feeling much more relaxed. “The hours and the schedule work well for me and Chloe.”
Oh no. Did I just say her name? Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
“Who’s Chloe?” From the way he asked, she could tell he had no clue as to the existence of her daughter.
“A very dear friend,” she mumbled, purposely allowing a dribble of ice cream to fall on her khaki shorts so she could busy her hands. Please, Lord, let him drop it. “I’d, um, better go get a wet paper towel or something. I’ll be right back.” She jumped up from the bench and hurried back into the shop. The bell jingled as the door opened.
“You okay?” Bea called to her from behind the counter.
Winnie nodded but knew her cheeks were flushed and her eyes must look a little wild. “I spilled ice cream on my shorts. Do you have a damp paper towel or a napkin?”
Bea handed over the cone she was scooping to a teenage employee. “Come with me,” she said, stepping to the end of the long counter. “You’re with a very handsome young man today.” She smiled. “Boyfriend?”
“Maybe. Sort of. Could be. I’m not sure.” He’s already turning me into an even bigger rambling fool. “He’s been a friend for ages, one of the TeamWork guys, but he lives in Baton Rouge. Until this week, I haven’t seen him for a few years.”
After running a paper towel under the faucet, Bea squeezed out the excess water and handed it to her. “Well, if you don’t mind my two cents, it’s nice to see you with a man for a change. I’ve been praying for a couple of years a good one would come along. You’ve got so much to offer, honey. He sure looks smitten with you—as well he should be—and he’s got nice manners, I can tell that much. My advice, not that you asked, is to hang on to him.”
Thanking Bea for the paper towel, Winnie set about removing the spot of ice cream. It was a half-hearted effort as she tried to self-calm. It wasn’t working. In the recesses of her mind, she heard the bell on the door but paid it no heed. With a start, she realized what Bea was asking her. “Where’s Chloe today?”
Winnie didn’t need to look to know it was Josh who’d come into the shop. Why should the Lord waste a good opportunity? She chewed her lip and tapped her foot. Her cheeks must match the retro-looking milk shake machine behind the counter. “She’s with Dottie,” she whispered. It came out more a hiss. He must be standing right behind her. If Bea’s expression didn’t tell her, his warmth and presence did.
Turning around, Winnie forced a bright smile. “All taken care of now.”
As they headed back to Sam and Lexa’s house, Josh was quiet, no doubt biding his time. Turning into the driveway, he pulled the key from the ignition and shifted in his seat to face her. Not a man of idle purpose, this one. Those little lines surfaced around his eyes as did the vertical one between his brows. She wanted to smooth them but left her hands where they were.
“Okay, Miss Doyle, I have a question for you. Remember, you promised to answer.”
Here it comes. “Did I agree to that?” Her voice cracked with a nervous giggle.
“You did.”
“Are you sure?” Stop being coy and act like a responsible adult. Like a mother.
“Positive. Maybe I should have made you sign a binding contract, but you agreed.”
“Okay, then. Go right ahead.” She sank down a little further in the leather seat, praying she didn’t faint. Her pulse was out of control as it was.
“Who’s Chloe?”
“You already asked that question. Do-overs aren’t fair.”
He stared at her again; it was unnerving. “I also told you I’m a very patient man. I can sit here all day if you want, but I’d like a straight answer.” His voice was quiet but earnest.
Winnie crossed her arms and frowned. “This isn’t the way I wanted you to find out.”
“Find out what?”
“Chloe. . .” She heaved a deep, shuddering sigh. “Chloe. . .”
“Yes, Winnie. . .Winnie. . .?”
“Chloe is a darling little girl.” That’s open and honest.
“And do you take care of her?”
Is he talking about childcare? She nodded. “Yes.”
“Do you feed her?”
“Yes.”
“Do you also clothe her?”
“Yes.”
“And do you give her shelter?”
Winnie nodded. “Yes. Yes to all those things, Josh.”
“Then you love her.”
More than life itself. “Of course, I do. You’re asking an awful lot of questions.”
“Did you give birth to her, Winnie?”<
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“Well, now, that’s a really big question, isn’t it?” Flippancy wasn’t becoming. She lowered her eyes.
“One I hope you’ll trust me enough to answer.”
Winnie nodded, still unable to look him in the eye. “Yes.”
Josh shifted in his seat. “Okay, then, one more question, and I’m done. Promise.”
She steeled herself for this one. Just ask and get it over with, Josh. Her emotions were raw and ragged as it was. If he showed disappointment or, worse yet, repugnance or revulsion, how could she bear it?
He tipped her chin with two fingers, waiting. “Can I meet her?”
Not what I expected. Dragging air into her lungs, she dared to lift her gaze to his. What met her was compassion that surprised her with its intensity. No condemnation, no judgment. Relief flooded her heart, her mind, but she needed time to think and plan her next step.
“I’m sure. . .”
The corners of his mouth upturned. “Sure it can be arranged?”
She nodded, unable to return his smile, knowing she had to escape. “Thanks for the hotdog, the ice cream. . .everything.” Leaving the car door open, she sprinted to Ladybug. As much as running from Josh, she was running away from the truth, afraid her past would catch up with her.
Why wouldn’t her fingers cooperate? She fumbled with her keys, dropping them to the pavement as she attempted to insert them in the lock.
He retrieved her keys, and his warm hand covered hers as he unlocked the door. Stepping aside, he waited as she climbed into the car.
Turning on the engine, Winnie lowered the automatic window. “Give me a little time, Josh.”
“I meant what I said. When you’re ready, I’d really like to meet Chloe.” He closed the door and leaned close, elbows crossed. “If she’s anything like her mother, she’s gorgeous as anything, with pretty blonde hair.” Speaking slowly, his voice low, his eyes roamed from the top of her head to her lips, lingering there. “Beautiful blue eyes, funny and smart as a whip, and blesses everyone she meets.”
You’ve got it except for the eye color.
