by JoAnn Durgin
“I’ll talk to you again soon,” he said. “Please think about what I’ve said and be careful. That’s all I ask.”
While she appreciated his protective instincts, Amy wished he hadn’t planted the seed of doubt in her mind. A big old seed. Stunned, on autopilot, she put her cell phone on the bedside table and turned down the volume on the TV as she resumed sorting through the things in her purse. Although it kept her fingers occupied, her mind worked overtime, pondering her brother’s words.
Rising from the bed, she started to pace, trying to remember all the seemingly “little” things she’d pushed to the back of her mind. She began the mental list, wondering if she should write them down. Landon wore readers in Café Eduardo. She thought she’d seen Cooper wearing glasses in the hotel room, although he didn’t use them last night at dinner. Then again, he didn’t look at the menu and told her he always ordered the same entrée at The Driskill Grill.
Both Landon and Cooper were at least six foot two or three, both left handed. Cooper said a number of things almost identical to what Landon had said. He’d cut off Carl at the airport and made sure she didn’t see his ID badge. Amy’s eyes widened as she recalled he’d referred to Sam’s book as an ARC copy. How would an electrical engineer know the term for Advance Reader Copy?
What was it he’d said before dinner tonight? She tapped her knuckles against her temple. Something he’d said had triggered a response, but she’d chosen to ignore it. Squeezing her eyes tight, she concentrated. It came to her in less than a minute, and she blinked hard. He called me Amelia. Sure, he’d asked her if she was named after Amelia Earhart when they were in his plane, but had she ever told him her real name? Think, Amy. Of course, he could have found that information at the wedding or on the Internet. That one thing wasn’t incriminating, but—combined with all the other signs—it was enough to give her pause. Serious pause.
The locket. Cooper said his mother gave it to him and wanted her to have it. Running over to the dresser, she retrieved it with shaking fingers. Turning it over, she could now see the name . . . only it was initials. “LCJW,” she said in the quiet of the suite. She brought her hand up to her forehead. Landon was also Sam’s publisher?
Feeling dizzy, she returned to the bed. Her mind was spinning. Returning to her task, Amy sifted through the remaining receipts. When she spied the Macy’s receipt for her jacket, a sense of foreboding overtook her, tightening her throat, making it difficult to breathe. Her fingers shook almost uncontrollably as she moved her gaze to the bottom of the sales ticket. Surprisingly, it was legible. Staring at it, her heart skidded to a stop. The small piece of paper slipped between her fingers and fluttered a slow path to the floor as she fell back on the luxurious comforter and released an anguished groan.
As she’d suspected, the scrawled signature didn’t read Cooper Warren.
She’d seen that same scrawl in New York Scene. It belonged to its publisher and editor-in-chief, Landon Warnick.
Chapter 35
The prison guard ushered him inside and closed the door. Landon approached the small table in the middle of the room and slumped into the steel and black vinyl chair. He focused on the clock in the otherwise utilitarian room—stark white walls devoid of photos, color or anything to stimulate the mind. Providing ample time to dwell on what he’d done. Funny thing how that was the intended effect on the person sitting on the other side of the table.
A long time ago, he’d made a vow to the Lord that when and if he ever married, he’d never disappoint and betray his wife and family in the countless ways his father had done. No one deserved that, and he had the lingering emotional battle scars to prove it. He’d seen what his dad’s betrayal had done to his mom and been on the receiving end of empty promises and personal failure from a man who’d built an empire only to bring it down because of insatiable greed and selfishness. Call it subconscious, but his lousy excuse of a father might be the reason he’d avoided serious relationships. After meeting Amy, his world had spun into freefall and had him rethinking his perspective on life, work and love. He’d done so many things wrong and now was the time to start trying to make them right. Doing it God’s way instead of his own.
To the point of forgiving this man.
The door opened, and his dad entered, dressed in khakis and a short-sleeved black shirt. Taking small steps, he shuffled as though shackled. Landon tried to hide his shock. In the eight months since he’d last visited, the lines on Jared Warnick’s face were more deeply-etched, his eyes rimmed with dark circles. His hair was cut military style but still dark and peppered with silver. Life and bad choices had beaten him down. Most likely, it was his conscience that was chained, devouring him from the inside. Guilt could do that to a man.
Landon pulled himself from the chair and rose to his feet as his dad approached. “Hey, Jared.” When the older man took his hand, it felt brittle and not at all like the firm, warm handshake he remembered. He looked shorter, more slight and pale. Nearly four years in a minimum security facility had altered the appearance of this once robust, healthy man. The weathered face reminded him of a homeless man he’d met back in New York. A pang of emotion pricked his conscience. Holding onto his hand longer than necessary, he was at a loss for words.
Jared ran a palm over his grizzled face. “Been a long time.”
“Things have been hectic.”
“I know you’ve got a lot of responsibilities. Good to see you back in Texas.” His father motioned for him to sit and sank into the chair opposite him. “How’s life treating you in New York? Everything okay with the magazine?”
Landon shifted. For a father who’d never shown much interest through the years, this was a switch—conversing like they actually liked each other or shared some kind of relationship. “Things are okay, but that’s not what I want to talk about. First, do you need anything?”
With a snort, Jared drew random circles on the table with one finger. “Nothing you can give me, but thanks for the offer. Your being here will do. So, what’s brought you around to see me?”
“I need to ask you something.”
Blue eyes almost identical to his own bore into him with firm resolve. “Speak. I’m all ears.”
Landon grunted and leaned forward, crossing his arms on the table. “Why’d you do it?”
The older man blew out a deep sigh and focused on one of the bare walls. “I wondered how long it’d take you to ask. What makes you finally ask now?”
“Answer the question and then I’ll tell you.”
A frown creased his dad’s forehead. “Fair enough. The short answer is greed. I wanted something I couldn’t have, not that I’d expect you to understand.”
Landon snorted. “I might understand better than you think.”
“Oh?” One brow raised. “From what I know, you’ve got everything. You worked hard to get where you are, and I’m proud of you.” Something suspiciously akin to pride shot through Jared’s features.
How he’d longed to hear those words when he was younger. “A few months ago—even a few weeks—I might have agreed. Not now.”
“Tell me, then. What is it that you want?” His dad leaned closer. “I guess I should put it another way. What is it you want that you can’t get? That’s usually the way it works, isn’t it?”
“Self-respect is rather hard to come by at the moment.”
“What do you mean, son?”
Calling him “son” hit him hard as Landon stared into the eyes of the man who gave him life. The man who’d taught him to always be honest and then let him down by cheating on his mom in every way possible and stealing from the company he’d founded with a few hundred dollars and then spearheaded into a small empire. A living, breathing example of how not to treat a woman and let down his friends, his family, his son.
“I’m afraid I’ve done what you did, in a manner of speaking.”
“Ah,” his dad said. Deep sadness crossed those once-handsome features. “The sins of the father revisited. A tort
ured soul can spot another a mile away. I figured as much. So, tell me, what’d you do?”
He tried to ignore the implication of this time tacked onto that statement. “I hurt the woman I love, and she doesn’t know it. Yet.”
“You’d better explain it to me so it makes some kind of sense.” Jared settled back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.
Landon met his gaze, holding it steady. “I pretended to be someone I’m not. Sort of. It’s very convoluted.”
His dad chuckled. “It usually is. I’ve got all the time in the world.” He paused. “Tell me. You’ve come here for a reason and if there’s any way I can help you, I’ll try.”
The words shot straight to his heart. “I’m a fraud.” Much to his chagrin, a tear escaped at the same time self-loathing stirred in his gut.
“Meaning you want me to help you out of the self-imposed prison you’ve put yourself in? Give you the voice of reason from what I’ve learned?”
Landon nodded. “I never thought I’d be asking, but I want your advice.”
“Okay, then. Here’s my advice: don’t be greedy, selfish and stupid.” A smile hovered around the corners of his mouth. “Seems to me there’s a simple answer.”
“Care to share it with me?”
“Confess. Tell her everything. Humble yourself. If you love her, you owe her that much and a whole lot more.”
“I know.” Landon poured out his story as his dad listened, asking a question every now and then. He purposely omitted a few details. Things like staying in the same motel room. That was his business to square away with God. Telling anyone else would feel like a further betrayal of Amy, and he couldn’t risk harming her any more than he’d already done.
“Sounds like she’s worth getting back, son,” Jared said when he finished. “One of the biggest mistakes of my life was being too proud to admit I was wrong. That and being too arrogant. If I wanted something, I took it and didn’t think twice about hurting anyone else. Funny thing, though. If I’d asked, they’d probably have freely given it to me.” Shaking his head, he ran a hand through his short hair. “I hurt the people I loved the most. I should have humbled myself and begged your mama’s forgiveness. Should have spent more time trying to make amends. By the time I came to my senses and tried, it was too late. There’s only so much a woman can take.” He hesitated and waited until Landon met his eyes. “Only so much a son should have to put up with.”
Landon held his father’s gaze. “Maybe you should have tried harder.”
“Agreed, but you and I both know you wouldn’t have listened. One of the things you got from me is that hard-headed stubbornness and win-at-all-costs attitude. By the time you were sixteen, you’d already made up your mind about me. Like it or not, son, you’re a whole lot like your old man.”
That statement brought reality home and with it a revelation. “I doubt I’d have the magazine if I wasn’t like you in some respects.”
A hint of a smile emerged. “Is that your way of saying I’m not such a bad guy?”
Landon smirked. “It’s more of a begrudging thank you. Look, gratitude wasn’t in my mind when I came here today, but one thing Mom taught me was respect. In spite of all you did, she wanted me to try and understand who you are. Why you did what you did.” He drummed his fingers on the table, lost in thought.
“Your mama’s the best woman I’ve ever known. The way I look at it, I did two things right in my life. Marrying Madelyn was the first.”
“And the second?”
“I’m looking at him.”
Lowering his gaze, Landon choked down the wad of bitterness lodged in his throat. Never in his life had his dad been this honest with him.
When he lifted his head, Jared’s eyes were bright. “Sounds like Amy’s your Madelyn.”
“You know, Madelyn is Amy’s middle name.”
“Is that a fact? Don’t know about you, but that’s no coincidence.”
Landon snapped up his head. “My thoughts exactly.”
“Tell me your plan.”
“Don’t have one yet, but I will.” He blew out a breath, frustration interwoven with resignation. “My biggest fear is that when I tell her, I’ll lose her. I can’t let that happen.”
“Do what I said, son, and then give her some time. From what you’ve told me, you did a boneheaded thing, but it sounds like you two had yourselves quite the adventure and got to know each other in the process. You’ve got a lot in common, work in the same business and live in the same city. I know patience isn’t your strong suit, but you’re smart and resourceful. I’m sure you’ll figure out a way to get back in her good graces. Just plead your case and give her some time.”
Rising to his feet, Landon skirted around the table and drew his father into his arms before he could think better of it. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d hugged him. Jared returned the hug, his grip surprisingly firm and patted him on the back. That pretty much did him in. Squeezing his eyes tight, Landon willed himself to be strong and not shed any more tears.
As he rang the bell to summon the guard, Jared gave him a wry grin. “By the way, I’ve still got that Bible you gave me.”
“Good. Read it much?” Maybe that was pushing it, but those words were soothing for his heart.
His dad’s low chuckle reverberated around the walls of the small room. “Yeah, a little. If it means that much to you and your mama, maybe I should read it. It’s not like I’m pressed for time.” Jared’s eyes settled on him. “From what I can tell, you turned out okay.”
Landon nodded, his eyes wet. “I’ll be back.”
“I’ll look forward to it, son. Remember what I said. Go get your girl. Bring her around to meet me one of these days, and don’t stay away so long next time.”
“I won’t.” His eyes met his father’s. “Thanks . . . Dad.”
Jared saluted him as the stone-faced guard appeared and escorted him from the room. The last four years, he’d called his dad every name in the book, and some he’d never mutter out loud, but he’d thought them in his heart. Now he was guilty of the very same sin.
Closing his eyes, Landon sank into the chair again and bowed his head. Father, forgive me. I’ve done the same thing as my dad. Not that I blame him. I’m my own man, but fully capable of the same faults. I’ve hurt the woman I love and pray she’ll find it in her heart to forgive me. Help me find the right way to tell her, and help me accept whatever happens.
Chapter 36
Amy tucked the black dress into her suitcase the next morning, trying not to notice the scent of his cologne still lingering in its fabric. How things could change in the course of a few hours. Last night, she’d spun precious memories slow dancing in the man’s arms, falling in love and dreading saying good-bye to him. Sleep had eluded her much of the night. Pounding her pillow, she finally wised up around three in the morning and prayed. Her unrest ebbed enough so she could finally catch some fitful sleep for a few hours but then it started up again as soon as she opened her eyes and climbed out of bed. While she packed, she stewed, chastising herself and grumbling like a crazy person. Wadding up her nightgown, she tossed it on top of the other clothes. Seeing that nightgown triggered memories of their night in that fleabag motel in Nowhereville, Texas. A small smile slipped out before she could stop it.
“You are pathetic!” Shaking her head, she stomped into the bathroom. “What kind of girl goes on a road trip through Texas, of all places, with a man she doesn’t know? And allows him to pay for everything and then falls hard for the guy? You’re not only naïve, Amy Jacobsen, you’re unbelievably stupid.”
Her dad always cautioned her and Mitch against calling anyone stupid. “People do stupid things, but don’t ever call them stupid,” he’d said. “It’s demeaning and condescending.”
She agreed although she’d been known to engage in private name-calling on occasion.
“We were made to dance like this,” she said, rolling her eyes and mimicking Cooper—Landon from the ni
ght before. Funny how situations—and people—could look so different in the light of day. “This is one girl who doesn’t have stars in her eyes anymore. I’m done,” she said, tossing cosmetics in her overnight bag. Whoa. She’d tossed a bottle with so much force, it could have broken. “Keep calm. Take a deep breath.” Although it helped, the effect was fleeting.
Landon had duped, deceived and fooled her. Lied to her. That last one was his most heinous offense. Was he a con man? A lunatic? Maybe a deranged twin like in some soap opera? On the other hand, he’d charmed her, protected her and taken great care of her. She and her wayward cowboy made a fine pair. Apparently, she needed mental health services, and quick. Maybe they could go to some kind of weird couples therapy together.
“You sure know how to pick a guy,” she said to her reflection in the vanity mirror, twisting the cap back on her nail polish. She chose to ignore the dark shadows beneath her eyes. Let the man see he’d caused her to lose sleep. No, don’t give him the satisfaction. Searching through the cosmetic bag, she found the foundation she’d brought for the wedding. She squeezed some out and dabbed it beneath both eyes, blending carefully even though her fingers were still shaking to match the quaking in her stomach. “Talk about confusing.”
Embarrassment swept through her a short time later when the elevator doors opened while she still mumbled to herself. Inside the elevator, a couple and their young son waited with polite smiles. “Sorry about all this stuff,” she said, hauling her bags inside, ruing the bulkiness of it all. Traveling light had never been one of her strong points. She gave the boy a grateful smile when he held the door. She cleared her throat and stared at the elevator buttons, willing it to move faster. When the doors opened to the lobby, the boy tugged out her suitcase and parked it by a chair.
“Thank you.” Amy offered the child a small smile which encompassed his parents. “I appreciate your help. Merry Christmas.” One of these years, she hoped to have a well-mannered boy like this one. Good grief, Miss Lonely Hearts is now thinking past the whole “not having a man” whine to “will I ever have a child?”
