by JoAnn Durgin
“You must be thinking of your friend. What’s his name, anyway?”
“Cooper.” She shook her head. “I mean Landon.”
Tam shot her a curious glance. “Which one is it?”
“Trust me, it’s a long story. He sometimes goes by Cooper, and it’s his middle name, but his first name is Landon.”
“Well, whatever it is, I wouldn’t turn him down any day of the week,” Tam said, draining her milk. “You two sleeping together?”
Amy’s eyes widened as she signaled the waitress to refill Tam’s milk. “No, we haven’t slept together.”
“Not even once?” When Amy shook her head, Tam scoffed. “Why not?”
Please let her try to understand. “I believe sharing yourself in a physical way should be saved for the person you believe God intends you to spend your life with in a committed marriage.”
Tam cocked her head to one side, surveying her carefully. “Let me get this straight. You think there’s only one person on the planet you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with? Only one?” She ran her hand over her face and yawned. “That’s crazy. What’s the fun in that? I thought you were smarter than that.”
“I believe once you make a commitment to one person, you stick with it. When you share that part of yourself with someone, you lose a little bit of yourself each time. It isn’t something to be taken lightly. When you do that, it takes away a large part of what makes it so precious. Our ability to love someone in a physical way is one of God’s gifts, and He wants it to be special.” She hesitated, trying to recapture Tam’s eye contact. “Does that make sense to you?”
“But if it makes you feel special, what’s so wrong with it?”
Her heart broke for this young girl. She might not ever have felt special to anyone. Sex equated with love.
“Answer a question for me as honestly as you can, okay?” Tam nodded, but the veil of suspicion clouded her features again. “After you’re with Andy, how do you feel?”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
“Are you happy, angry, mad, sad?” When Tam shifted and lowered her gaze, Amy knew she’d touched a raw nerve.
“Sad.” It was quiet, so quiet Amy leaned across the table to hear it.
Now we’re getting somewhere. “Do you know why you feel sad?”
After hesitating a moment, Tam blew out a long breath. “Because it only lasts for a while and then he’s gone. Again.”
“And you’d like someone to stay around a long time, right? Someone who’ll always be there? Tell me honestly, do you feel like if you have this baby you’ll be all alone?” That was certainly a valid possibility, especially since her mom had thrown her out of the house and Andy had other . . . ties.
The teenager’s shoulders shook with her sobs. Jumping up and scooting in beside her, Amy gathered her close and held her as she cried, smoothing her hair.
“I’m so . . . so . . . alone, Amy,” Tam whispered. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“You’re not alone, honey. God loves you and He loves your child. I don’t have any children, but I have lots of friends who do, so I know how wonderful it can be. From what I hear, there’s nothing quite like it, and it’s different from the love of a man or the love of a parent. It’s indescribable the feeling you get when you hold a newborn. They’re precious and I think it’s about as close to God as we can feel. There’s nothing like the miracle of a baby.”
“I don’t know.” Tam sobbed, taking a napkin and wiping her eyes. “Will God hate me if I don’t keep my baby?”
Amy swallowed, hardly daring to breathe. “God will hate it if you steal away a life, but He won’t hate you. That’s not what He’s about. He’s about love,” she said, smoothing her hair, “and goodness, and light.” She cupped the girl’s face between her palms. “He’s about giving you hope.”
Sniffling, Tam’s watery eyes met hers and tears streamed from them, making a path down her puffy, blotchy cheeks. “I’m not the nicest person in the world and I’ve done a lot of bad things. No matter what happens, you promise God won’t quit on me?”
When Amy opened her arms, Tam willingly fell into them. “God won’t quit on you, and I won’t either. I’ll tell you something. None of us are good enough. Only one person was ever good enough and that was Jesus. He paid the price for all of us—and all our sins—when He died on the cross, but He didn’t stay dead. He’s alive today, for you and for me.”
Tam’s shoulders rocked with quiet sobs for a minute or two. Sitting back, she wiped the napkin over her eyes and took a deep breath. “That’s a lot to think about, but it sounds like you know God pretty well. I mean, you talk to Him and everything. But,” she said, heaving a deep sigh, “I guess we’d better get going.”
“Do you want me to order something for you for later tonight if you get hungry again?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m done,” she said. “I’m really tired and need some sleep.”
“Let’s go.” Amy paid the bill and a few minutes later, they pulled into the hotel parking lot. “Do you have anything to sleep in?”
“I have some long T-shirts in the car,” Tam said. “Let me get them.”
Waiting while Tam retrieved the shirt, a change of clothes and some toiletries from a small case, Amy glanced up at the moon and whispered another prayer for Tam and for wisdom to know what to say in the morning.
Oh, Lord, please hear my prayer.
Chapter 46
Waking early the next morning, Amy rubbed her eyes and glanced over at Tam’s bed. Empty. Jumping out of bed and running over to the bathroom and not seeing her there, she ran to the front window. Parting the curtains, she spied Tam in the parking lot, engaged in a heated discussion with a beefy-looking, bearded man.
This must be Andy.
Grabbing her house slippers, Amy pulled them on and threw her robe around her shoulders, shrugging into it. She tied the belt in a loose knot as she hurried out into the cold, foggy morning. Belatedly, she realized she should have taken the time to dress in her street clothes. Andy did a thorough job of looking her up and down, much more than Landon had done, and he’d done a decent job of it without actually leering.
“Hello, gorgeous,” he said, the closer she came. The staring transitioned into a full-on, invasive gawk. This boy needed to be taught some manners. “Where’d you come from, this vision walking toward me out of nowhere?”
Amy avoided glancing at Tam, not wanting to see the fire her eyes. Not a good start to the morning. She couldn’t risk this man saying or doing anything that would anger Tam to the point of stomping to the free clinic and ending her pregnancy. It probably wouldn’t take much, and it was obvious he wouldn’t be going with her to the clinic for support. He needed to leave now.
“Stop it. She’s not your type,” Tam snapped.
Amy could feel the force of her glare, but it wasn’t aimed so much at her as the surly man standing in front of her.
“Yeah, she looks too nice,” Andy said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He moved his gaze back to Tam, full of disdain. “You stopped being nice a long time ago.”
Tam let out a stream of profanity that made Amy cringe. When Andy raised a hand to strike her, Amy rushed forward, pushing her out of the way. As a reward for her efforts, she ended up on the receiving end of Andy’s large, rough hand striking her cheek. Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to cry out or give him the satisfaction of letting him know how bad it hurt.
Putting a hand on her cheek, she backed away from Andy. Fear didn’t enter the equation, but anger simmered beneath the surface.
“Please leave,” Amy said through clenched teeth. “You have no business being here. Tam doesn’t want to see you.”
“Why don’t you let her tell me that for herself?” His eyes bright with anger, Andy looked over at Tam as if daring her to say otherwise.
“Just go away, Andy.”
“Come on, baby. You know I love you,” he said, his voice placating.
Amy’s heart slid down to her feet. Please, Lord. Help us. She marched over to stand between them. “You’ve caused enough trouble, Andy. Please go now.”
He stared at her for a long moment before shaking his head and looking at Tam. “I need a word alone.”
“Anything you say to me you can say in front of Amy,” Tam said.
The tires of an approaching vehicle crunched in the parking lot, and all three turned. The fog still rolled in, but Amy’s heart quickened as a vintage, red and white truck came into view. “Matilda,” she murmured, moving her hand over her heart. With her cowboy behind the wheel.
The truck pulled up to where the trio stood. Amy’s gaze widened as the driver’s door opened. Her heart in her throat, she spied the familiar, well-worn boots followed by the broad shoulders filling out that great suede jacket. When her eyes fell on the face of the most handsome, incredible man in the world, a small cry escaped. Putting on his Stetson, Landon gave her a wink as he walked around the front of the truck and pulled open the door. Chloe—all bouncy blonde curls and a sleepy smile—scampered out followed a second later by Winnie.
“Buttercup!” Amy opened her arms for Chloe’s hug and she peppered her cheeks with kisses. Picking up the child, she squeezed Winnie’s hand. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“As soon as Landon called, I knew the Lord needed us here with you.”
Amy nodded, speechless. Thank you, Lord. He’d answered her prayer in a way over and above what she could ever imagine. Your ways are perfect. Not that she’d ever doubted it. She slanted a glance at Landon, and he tipped his hat, those blue eyes inviting. The warmth in them chased away all the chill of the morning fog.
“We don’t need no audience people,” Andy said, pulling her back to reality. “This is private between me and my girl. It ain’t no three-ring circus.”
Amy tilted her head toward the open motel room. Picking up on her cue, Winnie took Chloe by the hand and led her inside and closed the door.
“I’m not your girl, Andy, and I never was,” Tam said, spinning on her heel to head back into the room. Reaching out and clamping her arm, Andy pulled her backward. Crying out in pain, she wrenched her arm away from his grasp.
“I’d keep my hands to myself if I were you.” Landon—towering at least six inches taller than Andy—stared him down. “I think that’s what got Tam into this situation in the first place. Move along, buddy.”
Andy snarled and turned back to Tam. “What’d you do, tell the whole world how loose you are, girl?” he said, his voice tinged with contempt.
Stepping close, Landon trailed a gentle finger across Amy’s cheek. The sting of Andy’s hand was all but forgotten, but seeing the compassion in his expression brought it all back full-force. “Did he hit you?” His eyes lit with anger.
“It doesn’t matter now.”
“Amy took it for me,” Tam said.
Landon turned and headed for Andy, but he squealed like a little girl and sprinted toward his sorry-looking truck. Without another glance, he tore out of the parking lot, the wheels of the truck spewing gravel.
“Good riddance,” Tam said, heading back to the room.
“Give us a few minutes to get dressed,” Amy said, turning to follow.
“Amy.” Landon’s voice was husky and deeper than usual. Gathering her into his chest, he hugged her like he never wanted to let go. His warm lips found her cheek. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry he did that to you, honey.”
“Better me than Tam,” she said, swiping one hand across her moist eyes. He called me honey. “I’m fine. It’s only a surface wound. She said she might be getting ‘rid of it’ this morning. I can’t let that happen. I can’t.”
He dropped a light kiss on the top of her head. “No matter what happens, the Lord will honor your efforts and devotion to this girl. Let’s pray for her. Right here, right now.” And so they did. He kept her warm in his embrace as they asked the Lord for His grace and mercy on behalf of an unborn child with no name on Earth, but a place reserved in God’s Heaven.
“Thanks for coming. You’re my hero,” she said, finally pulling out of his arms. “Give us a few minutes to get dressed.”
He smiled. “I’ll wait in the truck and keep it warmed up.”
As she entered the room, Winnie caught her attention and put a finger over her lips. Following her cue, Amy saw Chloe sitting beside Tam on her bed.
“Did God give you a baby?” Chloe asked.
Tam laughed a little. “Maybe He did, Chloe.”
“That’s what He did for Mary,” the little girl said. “Babies are great. Mommy’s friend Lexa has two baby girls in her tummy and my mommy has my new brother or sister in her tummy.”
Tam looked over at Winnie. “That’s great, Chloe. You’re going to be a great big sister.”
“What are you going to call your baby?”
“Chloe, honey, it’s time to let Tam and Amy get ready to go,” Winnie said, walking toward her daughter with her hand outstretched. “We’ll wait outside with Landon in the truck.”
“Chloe?” Tam rose from the bed.
Winnie and Chloe turned from the doorway as she approached. Crouching down, she held out her arms. “Can I get a hug?”
Without hesitating, Chloe moved forward and put her arms around Tam. “Thank you,” the teenager said, releasing her a moment later. “I hope I have a child someday who’s as special as you.” When Chloe kissed her cheek, Tam hurried into the bathroom, closing the door.
“Is she okay, Mommy?”
“I think she’s going to be just fine, sweetie.”
Chapter 47
For the next hour, they sat in a nearby restaurant. Tam declined to eat and only drank water, saying she wasn’t sure if she should eat anything. After hearing that, Amy couldn’t think of eating. When Tam assured her she didn’t mind, Winnie ordered tea and a bran muffin. In the booth behind them, Landon ate breakfast with Chloe and helped her color a Christmas scene on the placemat. From the giggles coming from the little girl, Amy could tell they were having a grand time while she and Winnie talked quietly with Tam. She knew she was waffling over her decision. Winnie told the teenager about giving birth to Chloe as a single mom. Although she listened, Tam’s expression was difficult to read.
After dropping Winnie and Chloe off at the town library, Amy scooted closer to Landon on the front seat of Matilda. “Hero or not, this doesn’t mean I’m ready to let you back into my life, so don’t get any big ideas,” she said.
“Okay, I’ll stick with the small ideas and hope they snowball.”
“Tam’s mother threw her out of the house and I think she’s been sleeping in her car. I’ve got to figure out some way to help her.”
“We’ve got to figure something out. You always want to take on the world by yourself. That’s exhausting. Even superheroes need a little help every now and then, you know. I’m here, so let me help.” He glanced in the rearview mirror, apparently satisfied Tam wasn’t listening to their conversation. Matilda’s engine was running a bit rough, and she knew it bothered him. Landon lowered his voice. “We can’t leave ourselves open to any legal action her mother might file if we take Tam anywhere else. Even if she doesn’t want Tam in her home, I don’t think it’s a stretch of the imagination to think her mother could do it, but that doesn’t leave us a lot of other options since she’s underage.”
“Tam mentioned an older woman who works with her at the restaurant,” Amy said. “I think she said her name’s”—she thought for a moment—“Kaye. Her kids are grown but live nearby. Maybe if we talk with her, she can take Tam in and watch over her, at least until the baby’s born. By that time, hopefully we’ll figure out something else. I think we’re almost there, if I understood Tam’s directions.”
As Landon pulled into the parking lot of the small clinic, Amy twisted around in her seat. Her
head throbbed and she feared she might be sick. Tam chewed on a fingernail and stared out the side window. She looks so scared. “Do you have an appointment?”
“No.”
Opening the back door, Amy held out one hand. “I’ll go with you to meet with the doctor, if you want. We’re here to do whatever you need. Anything.”
“Come inside with me if you want, but I can meet with the doctor by myself.”
Amy squeezed her hand. “You’re braver than a lot of people I know. Please tell me what you’re planning to do. If you’re thinking of ending your pregnancy, I want you to tell me.”
Tam shrugged and gave her a helpless look, indecision written in her expression. “I don’t know. I wish I did, but I don’t. You won’t hate me if . . .”
“No, of course not. I could never hate you.” Amy wrapped her arms around the thin girl, stroking her hair and kissing the side of her head. “And remember, God won’t hate you. But He might cry, and so will I.”
Wiping her eyes, Tam pulled out of her embrace. “God would cry over me? Why would He do that, and how do you know?”
“I don’t, really, but what I know is He loves you and your baby. His heart is grieved when a child is . . . when a child dies, no matter the reason. But that child will rest in Jesus’s arms forever.” Unable to say more, Amy turned and tried to regain her composure. Lord, what more can I say? Should she offer to take this girl’s child and raise the baby as her own? Is that why she was here? Is that what You want?
She startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder. “Thanks for caring about me, Amy. I don’t know why you do, but no matter what happens,” she said, sniffling and moving tear-filled eyes to the sky, “I want you to know you’re the best.” Tam released a shuddering breath and dropped her arms. “I’d better go inside now and get this over with.”
Still unable to speak, Amy draped her arm around Tam’s shoulders, thankful she allowed it. Perhaps as much as she did, Amy needed the contact. Standing nearby, Landon’s eyes were bright, mirroring hers. He shuffled his boots on the ground and turned aside.
