by Virna DePaul
“Tough times, Mattie? That wasn’t what I wanted for you at all.”
Mattie’s eyes popped open. Dominic was leaning against the opposite wall, his arms, muscular biceps bulging, crossed over his chest. Mattie straightened and cleared her throat, her composure quickly eluding her now that she knew he remembered her. Her body. The things they’d done and said to one another. The dreams she’d foolishly harbored.
Pasting a look of resigned boredom on her face, she replied, “No, what you wanted was for me to date other people. Of course, that was only so you could date other people. Penny Miller, wasn’t that her name?”
His eyes narrowed. “You were the only girl I wanted, Mattie.”
She stared at him, then burst out laughing as she shook her head. When her laughter bordered on the hysterical, she tried walking past him.
He blocked her, his face as impassive as ever. “There’s something funny about that?”
Tilting her head, she studied him. He’d always been good at hiding his feelings. Even when they’d been as intimate as two people could be, she’d had a hard time reading him. She’d known it was because he hadn’t wanted to be read. Still, when Dusty had attacked her in court, Dom hadn’t been able to hide his reaction. He’d been pumped and angry, but he’d also been scared for her. He’d been worried when he’d found her in the break room, too. Without her wanting it to, that realization softened her anger. “I’m just thinking what a really odd day this is, and not,” she added, “because I was almost assaulted by an inmate. And not because an old boyfriend has suddenly remembered who I am.”
Referring to him as her boyfriend must have stunned him, because she was able to walk around him. She’d only gone a few feet before he caught her elbow, stopping her. “Not almost assaulted. You were assaulted.”
Eyes narrowed, she pulled away from him. Despite the scare Dusty had given them, Dom had no say in how she chose to describe the incident or what she did about it. “I’m fine.”
“Right. And I told you, Mattie, I knew who you were instantly. I just pretended I didn’t because I was trying to make things easier for you.”
She had a fairly even temperament, she truly did, but Dominic was making her emotions bounce from one extreme to the other. He’d made it quite clear what he thought of her ten years ago. Granted, she’d probably speeded his rejection along, but she’d been scared. She’d wanted him safe, even if that meant giving up his dream job. After all, she’d thought she was his dream, too. Obviously not, since he’d certainly dropped her quick enough when things had started to get complicated. “You shouldn’t have bothered. Seeing you again means absolutely nothing to me, Dominic. Less than nothing.”
Even as the last words tripped off her tongue, she wondered how wise it was to challenge him. The way he clenched his jaw told her that a change of subject would probably be a good idea.
Eyes narrowing, he placed his hands on his hips, and looked her up and down. “Tell me something, Mattie, were you afraid of Dusty?”
Automatically, she stiffened. “So what if I was? Does that make me a coward?”
“No, but fear can be distracting. It can make you tune out everything but your own survival. Did he say anything to you?”
“In the three seconds before you caught him? Of course not. And why would he say anything to me?”
“Anything he said could be useful. It might tell us if he was going for a hostage, or if his goal was to break out or to break in.”
“Break in?” She shook her head, confused. Why would an inmate break into the very courtroom he was already scheduled to appear in? This day was going from weird to weirder, and all she wanted was to go back to ignoring Dom—and have him to do the same. She still might fantasize, but fantasies, unlike her riotous emotions, could be hidden and contained. “Look, you’re wasting my time. Can I go?”
“Sure.” But he didn’t move. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest again and continued to block her path. A hint of a smile curved his lips. “You know, I guess one good thing came from Dusty’s sudden appearance this morning.” When she flexed her brows, he explained, “You’re not afraid of me anymore.”
The man’s gall was so unbelievable. “I was never afraid of you.” Afraid of the feelings he inspired, sure, but not of him.
The barely-there smile suddenly radiated pure arrogance. “Prove it. Have dinner with me.”
“Dinner?” she sputtered. He’d gone from ignoring her to challenging her to questioning her, and now he was moving on to flirting with her? She reacted the way she always did when she felt threatened—on the offensive. “Are you crazy? I can’t even stand the sight of you.”
He didn’t so much as lift an eyebrow, but his look turned reproachful. “You never used to lie.”
“Too bad I can’t say the same for you,” she shot back.
“I never lied to you, Mattie.”
She flushed, twisted her hands together, and wished she’d kept her mouth shut. It was true. He hadn’t lied to her, but now that she’d given herself the freedom to speak her mind, she couldn’t seem to stop. “Not by express words, no. But you know what they say—actions speak louder than words.” And he’d acted plenty ten years ago. Boy, had he acted. Every touch, every kiss, had made her acutely aware of what she’d been missing before they’d made love. Not only the physical sensations of sexual desire, but the feeling of being cherished. Of being made to feel she was special to him. She’d grieved that loss for a long time, even after she’d met and married John.
“Then let’s act,” he insisted. “Have dinner with me. We can catch up. Put the past behind us.”
Inside, she was stunned. Shattered. He was offering her the closure she’d never really gotten before. It was tempting, the idea of being able to forgive and forget. It’s what would be healthy, wouldn’t it? Outwardly, she called upon ten years of learning to live without him in order to appear unaffected. Hands on her hips, she tipped her head to the side, studying him. “I’m fine with keeping the past where it is. And why all this sudden interest? You haven’t said one word to me that didn’t have to do with my job.” Well, besides the talk about naked pictures, of course, but she wasn’t about to bring that up.
“You know more than anyone that I’m not overly talkative.”
She smiled tightly. “No, unless it comes to making false promises.” She held up her hand to forestall him speaking. “I know, I know. You never made false promises. The talk of driving cross-country and wraparound porches and baby quilts was all in my head. But at least you got what you wanted most. You became a cop.”
His eyes darkened with some emotion she couldn’t name. “I became a cop, yes. But you didn’t imagine all the other stuff, Mattie. It was something I dreamed of, too. I was just realistic enough to know I couldn’t have it.” He stepped closer until she had to tilt her chin to look up at him. “Will you have dinner with me?” To her dismay, she was considering it. Desperately, she glanced around, trying to focus on her surroundings instead of the man in front of her. Unfortunately, the sparsely decorated hallway, with only a framed copy of the Declaration of Independence hanging off-kilter on one wall, couldn’t compete with the man in front of her. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, she thought. Such simply stated goals. She had her happiness. She had Jordan. Her brother, Tony. They had each other. She didn’t need more. Or anyone else.
Her body shouted in protest, forcing her to recall the pleasure he’d always brought her. Not just physical, but emotional. A kind of sweet joy that she felt only one other time—when she looked at their daughter.
The daughter he could never know about. She might want closure and Jordan might need a father, but the stakes were too high. Instinctively, she knew Dominic wasn’t a man who would take kindly to his own child being taken from him, even if he had abandoned her mother. What would stop him from trying to punish her by taking Jordan from her completely? Besides, her concerns about his profession were still valid—why let Jordan open her heart t
o someone who might end up leaving her, willingly or not?
But then again, Dom was her father.
Fighting her uncertainty, she tried to focus on the purple carpeting underfoot, but the size-12 boots next to her strappy black sandals were what she noticed. Her toes, recently painted a pale pink, peeked up at her and the contrast of her femininity and his unmistakable masculinity made her shiver.
Fear gave her the resolve she needed. “No, I don’t want to have dinner with you,” she responded. “And I’d appreciate it if you would just leave me alone.”
He stared at her while heat climbed her face. Cursing her fair skin and its tendency to blush at the slightest provocation, she clenched her long skirt to keep from fidgeting. A noise behind them made her jump and glance back. Judge Butler paused in his doorway, his features twisted into an expression of annoyance.
“Shouldn’t we have gotten started by now?” he questioned, his words clipped.
“Yes, your honor.” Thankful for the interruption despite Judge Butler’s annoyance, she rushed past Dominic and into the crowded courtroom. She signaled Brenda that the judge was coming in. In her periphery, she saw Dominic stride to the deputy standing guard next to the jury box and dismiss him.
From the courtroom audience, Linda waggled her brows and rolled her eyes in a mock swoon. She was teasing her about Dominic again. Weakly, Mattie waved, sat, and adjusted her skirt, trying to act normal. She moved her stenograph closer to her, tucked back her hair and licked her lips. She adjusted her skirt again. Twice. Then, unable to help herself, she casually lifted her gaze to peek at Dominic.
She gasped.
He was staring at her, his blue eyes darkened with an unmistakable heat that seemed to touch every part of her at once. Instantaneously, she felt exposed. Raw. Vulnerable. Her breathing quickened and a shiver of something frightening—anticipation? Excitement?—ran through her.
He lifted his eyebrows, as if he was asking her the question again. Will you have dinner with me?
In self-defense, she straightened and narrowed her eyes. “No,” she mouthed, refusing to look away from his gaze.
But then her mouth dropped open and she nearly fell off her chair.
Because Dominic did something he hadn’t done in ten years. At least, not in her presence.
He smiled. A huge smile that flashed strong white teeth and dimples, and transformed him into the hunky, handsome man she’d crushed on for weeks before she’d gathered the courage to approach him.
And then he winked at her.
Chapter 7
The rest of the day was uneventful, with the arraignment calendar flowing into two preliminary hearings, afternoon jury selection, and finally a suppression hearing. Nonetheless, Mattie’s awareness of Dominic had grown ten-fold, until everything seemed to be about him and her and an invisible thread of sexual tension that tied them together. By the time the judge pronounced they were done for the day, Mattie’s fingers were trembling and she couldn’t get out of the courtroom fast enough.
She hastily covered up her stenograph and grabbed her files.
“Okay, you’ve got to fill me in. What the heck happened this morning?”
Linda walked through the swinging half doors that divided the court staff from the audience. A quick glance confirmed that Dominic was still at his post, his face impassive but focused on the two of them.
Clearing her throat, Mattie placed her free hand on Linda’s back and steered her toward the door. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Linda, however, wouldn’t cooperate. She stopped in the aisle and threw a curious glance at Dominic. “Uh, in case you missed it, lovey, you’ve got an admirer and it looks like he’s not willing to be ignored anymore.”
“Will you please lower your voice and stop looking at him?”
Linda just grinned. “After that last witness was excused, I thought he was going to rip your clothes off right there and then. Should I have stayed away and let him?”
“Be serious.”
“I’m being completely serious. Now, tell me what happened this morning. Did you guys do it in the judge’s chambers?”
Mattie juggled her files and slipped past Linda, who followed her out of the courtroom. She didn’t stop until she was outside on the courthouse steps, breathing in air like she was starved for it. She wanted to spill her guts and tell Linda everything, but somehow she knew that if she actually verbalized her past and emotions about Dominic, she’d no longer be able to keep them at arm’s length. It was already hurting her. She couldn’t let it have a stronger hold than it already did.
“Whoa. Mattie?” Linda placed a hand on her shoulder, her pale green eyes shadowed with concern. “I’m just messing with you. Don’t be mad.”
Mattie nodded and put a hand over hers. “It’s not you. I was just feeling a little trapped in there.”
“Was he harassing you? Do we need to report him?”
“No, no. Of course not.” She hesitated, then figured Linda would learn about it soon enough. “One of the inmates tried to grab me before court started.”
Linda gasped. “Tried to or did?”
“Well, did. Sort of.”
Fury sparkled in Linda’s eyes. “And how’d he get that close to you? I can’t believe Dom let that happen. What an idiot.”
“It wasn’t his fault. Another deputy was manning the in-custody room and the inmate got away from him. Dominic— I mean, Deputy Jeffries subdued him.”
“I can tell that’s not the end to the story, is it?”
She licked her lips, weighing honesty with the likelihood that Linda would tease her incessantly about Dominic’s invitation. “Well, afterward he—he asked me out to dinner.”
Linda laughed. “I told you I thought something was up. The guy can’t keep his eyes off you. He just decided for some reason today that he was through trying to hide it. So does this mean you’re canceling your date with Ty?”
“What? Of course not.” Inside, she winced, because truthfully she’d forgotten all about the date. Mattie walked down the steps and headed for the parking lot across the street.
“You turned him down?”
“Great deduction, counselor.”
“So you’re not attracted to the buff bailiff in the least?”
Not in the least. The words were on the tip of the tongue, but so was a snide “Liar, liar, pants on fire.” She opted for silence. Mattie was five feet from her car when she groaned. “I left my purse in the break room.” Trying to get away from Dominic’s probing gaze had zapped her memory.
“I’ll go back with you.” Linda linked her arm through Mattie’s and began walking, forcing Mattie to either keep up with her much longer stride or be dragged along. Hoping to forestall any more questions about Dom, she asked, “What about the burglary? Do the police have any leads?”
Shaking her head, Linda said, “No. It’s going to take a bit longer than eighteen hours for them to find anything.” They walked in silence for a few seconds and Mattie had just started to relax when Linda said softly, “Someday, you’re going to have to take a chance again, Mattie.”
Mattie clenched her jaw. “Have you forgotten your friend? The one you set me up with? Doesn’t that count?” They entered the main hallway and followed it to the judge’s chambers.
“Of course, but I have a feeling you’re not really interested in—”
Mattie opened the door and froze in shock.
Judge Butler—the respected Judge Butler; the married Judge Butler who had mentored Mattie for years—was on his knees in front of Brenda. She was perched on the table, naked from the waist down, legs spread, eyes closed in pleasure.
Mattie took a step back. “Ew.” She wasn’t sure if she’d spoken out loud or not. I eat at that table, she thought.
Brenda’s eyes popped open and the judge slowly turned his head until his eyes met Mattie’s. Mattie quickly shut the door and speed-walked away, Linda right beside her.
Linda clung to Mattie’s arm. “Oh
my gosh, did you see—”
“Of course I saw,” Mattie hissed.
“Poor Mrs. Butler.”
Poor us, Mattie thought. Poor me. She would probably carry the picture of Judge Butler and his court clerk to her grave.
“Or maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to give Mrs. Butler my sympathy. He seemed pretty skilled at what he was doing. Granted, he was using his skill on another woman. Brenda didn’t look too disappointed—”
“You’re babbling, Linda.”
“My eyes are still burning.”
They barreled through the outer doors and froze. Mattie suddenly burst out laughing at the way Linda’s thoughts echoed her own. She clamped a hand over her mouth, but her hysterical laughter burst through her fingers. She doubled over as Linda dragged her to the parking lot.
A minute later, Linda leaned against Mattie’s car, gripping her aching side. “Do you think he saw us?”
“Brenda looked straight at me. Even if he didn’t see us, she’ll tell him.” But she knew he’d seen them. Seen her. And he hadn’t looked embarrassed either. He’d looked satisfied. Almost as if he’d wanted her to see him.
They looked at one another and burst out laughing again. “Do you think she calls him ‘Your Honor’ in bed?” Linda whispered.
Mattie groaned and slid down the side of the car until she was sitting on the ground, her skirt flared out next to her. “I can’t believe I’m laughing about the fact that a man—Judge Butler, one of the county’s most respected judges—is cheating on his wife.” Her laughter had vanished and tears pricked her eyes. “What is wrong with people? Doesn’t anyone keep their promises anymore?”
Linda just shrugged.
It might be different if Mattie didn’t know Judge Butler’s wife, but she was a kind, loving woman who adored her husband and had made brownies with Jordan. She was going to be devastated when she found out.
Mattie gasped as the ramifications of what she’d seen sank in. “Oh, God. What are we going to do?”
Linda reached out her hand to help Mattie to her feet. “We do nothing.”
