During the last month and a half, I’d spent time with my family. I’d also gone out to dinner with Paula and Bridgett and we went out for drinks twice. But I didn’t tell anyone about Brice, not even when Bridgett had mentioned “my hot neighbor” and asked if he was single. I stayed quiet.
I kept telling myself I wasn’t lying to them. I just wanted what Brice and I shared to be between him and me. Something for ourselves that no one else got to intrude in. I didn’t want advice, I didn’t want to hear I was making a mistake, I wanted to live in the moment and suck up whatever time I had with him.
It would also make it easier when Brice and I went back to the way we were before the sex was introduced. There’d be no relationship postmortem. No henpecking over all the ways he messed with my head and things I should’ve done differently. It would be a clean break and no one would be the wiser.
It was on that thought I grabbed my phone off my desk and scrolled through my texts, landed on Brice’s name, and pulled up our messages. It didn’t take long for me to scroll through yesterday’s conversation and find the message I was looking for.
Brice: I need a key. I want you naked in bed when I get home.
My heart constricted just like the first time I read the message. He wanted a key, a freaking key. Now, as a woman, my natural inclination was to dissect the message and its meaning, spending hours upon hours carefully considering each word, looking for hidden messages, twisting it a hundred times in my head until I finally came to the erroneous conclusion asking for a key meant I was the love of his life, he couldn’t live without me, wanted to marry me, and make babies with me.
However, that wasn’t what I did. I knew what this was and it was sex. He wanted a key because he wanted me naked in my bed so he could fuck me without wasting time getting me undressed. And Brice would need a key because he lost his alpha-mind when I left my door unlocked.
So what did I do? I took my extra key down to the mailboxes before I left for work and slipped it in his box. I knew he was still at the firehouse and wouldn’t be off shift until late. I knew this because we texted loads. This, too, shocked the hell out of me. We sent thousands of texts back and forth. It was safe to say at this point, I knew Brice well. We didn’t get into flowery heart-to-hearts but we talked.
What we had felt real—more than just sex. But I knew that feeling wasn’t indeed real. It was the byproduct of really awesome sex and conversation. And if I was being honest it sucked. I wanted real. I wanted Brice in a way where we didn’t have to hide. But that was never going to happen and I’d never ask. He’d made all the promises he was capable of making and that had to be good enough for me.
And it was.
I’d take Brice any way he’d give himself to me.
Needing to get back to work, I sent Brice a quick message telling him where he could find the key I’d left him. Before I could toss my cell back on my desk, it vibrated.
Brice: Perfect. Buck naked, baby. Be home after eight. Eat without me.
Once again being a woman there was so much there to scrutinize and examine. The first shining example: he’d be home. Yes, we lived in an apartment building. Yes, we shared a wall. Yes, he would indeed be home in the sense he lived next door. But any woman would see those words and study them until she committed herself to believing he was referring to her home as his.
I didn’t do this. I knew better.
“There a reason you’re staring at your phone smiling?”
My head came up to see my dad standing in my office, his own smile beaming. Man, I loved my dad. Loved that every time he looked at me, or my sisters, and especially my mom, his expression always shone with adoration.
“There is,” I told him, still smiling.
“I don’t wanna know.” He stopped and shook his head. “Just talked to your mom. She wanted me to ask if you’d be over for dinner tonight.”
“Not tonight. I have plans.”
“They the reason you’re smiling?”
“Yep.”
His smile faded and his face grew soft. Something else he did when he was concerned.
“You’ve been busy a lot the last two months.”
“I have,” I confirmed.
“You being safe?”
“I am.” My lips twitched at the now very uncomfortable look my dad wore.
What? He asked.
“That’s not what I meant, Quinn,” he grouched and I giggled. “What I mean is…hell, I don’t know what I mean. It is not lost on me, we had a conversation about Brice and not even a day later you’re coming into work smiling—and not your normal smile. It shits me to say this because I’m your father, but I’m also a man, so the way you’ve been floating around here is also not lost on me. I also know Brice is not a man to—”
“He is with me,” I cut him off.
I knew who Brice was, I didn’t need the reminder.
“Quinn.”
“Dad, you’re my father so I really don’t want to give you details you really don’t want to have. We talked, I laid out some ground rules, ones I am comfortable with. I know him, I know the promises he made he will keep. That’s it.”
“Promises you’re comfortable with?”
“Dad,” I sighed. “As you pointed out, you’re a man. I think you can read between the lines without me having to explain, which might be unpleasant for both of us. But I will tell you. I know what I have with Brice and I am well aware of what I don’t. I’m good with what we have. We both are.”
“You deserve—”
“I know what I deserve, you taught me that. And one day I’ll find it. But for right now, I’m happy. Truly happy with where I’m at. If the day comes I’m no longer happy with the arrangement I agreed to, then it will end. For now you’re going to have to trust me when I tell you I’m being safe in all the ways I can be.”
“Okay, my sweet girl. I trust you. I believe you think you have it under control and you’ve locked down your heart. But, I’m your dad, and I know you—” I started to interrupt but my dad put his hand up. “Just listen. Hate I’m giving this advice to my daughter, but I feel I need to. Women and men are wired different. No two ways around it. Quinn, not only do you need to get a lock on your heart, you need to encase it in steel. Have your fun…” Dad made a choking sound and I smiled. “But know when to cut him loose. Brice is a good man, but he’s a man and is capable and used to carrying on this type of relationship—and you, my sweet girl, are not.”
“There is no relationship. There’s fun. There’s mutual respect. There’s kindness. There’s more fun…” And yes, I had to throw that in because my dad was being nosy and I figured if I emphasized the fun he’d never want to have another conversation about Brice. “What there is not, is a relationship. No feelings. No hearts involved. I have a handle on it.”
My dad looked wholly uncomfortable and I fought back another laugh. Sometimes I felt bad God had given Jasper Walker four girls. Then other times, when I heard the stories about him and my uncles before dad had met my mom and my uncles their wives, I thought each of them should’ve had only girls. Nothing like a dose of comedic karma.
“Now, if we’re done talking about my sex—”
“Quinn,” my dad growled.
“Yes, Daddy?” I smiled and leaned back in my seat.
“Never again say that to me.”
“Well, that’s what we were—”
“Payroll. I came in here to discuss payroll and the last quarter’s profit and loss. We’ve decided to start issuing bonuses. Lenox, Levi, Clark, Carter, and myself will not draw a bonus but the rest of you will.”
“I’m not taking a bonus,” I told him. “But I’ll run the reports.”
“You—”
“How many times have you and my uncles told the rest of us, this is our legacy? That Triple Canopy was meant to be ours? For as long as I can remember,” I answered for him. “In that spirit, none of us are drawing bonuses but instead rewarding the hard work of the employees. I’m fam
ily. I do not get a bonus.”
“But—”
“I’m not taking a bonus,” I told him firmly.
“Proud of you, Quinn. I know you had your reservations about taking the job, and when you started you looked like you’d rather have your fingernails ripped out. But you’re doing an excellent job. You have great ideas, the guys all love you. Probably because you find room in the budget to buy them new gear, but they love you nonetheless. Pleased to work with you every day. But more, we know, your uncles and I, when we leave Triple Canopy we’ll be handing it over to very capable hands. You and Carter and the rest when they come aboard will make what we started into something great. All of this is yours, it’s your cousins’. The decisions you make today impact the future of this company and I want you to know I trust you—in all things—to make the right decisions.”
At my father’s proclamation, my eyes started watering and my nose stung. No girl is ever too old to hear her daddy tell her he’s proud of her. But in that moment, I understood he was talking about more than just Triple Canopy.
“Means the world to me you feel that. I know I’ve been a pain in the ass, and you’ve been worried about me flitting through life. But I’m settled now and you don’t have to worry anymore.”
“Darlin’, I’m your dad. It’s my job to worry and I will until my dying breath.”
“Right,” I whispered, trying to control the tears now threatening to fall. “I’ll get the reports you need and have them on your desk within the hour.”
“’Preciate it.”
“Hey.” Carter joined my dad in my office and I groaned. “Laney called wanting to know if you wanted to come around and see Emma tonight.”
“She’s got plans,” my dad informed Carter.
“More important than seeing Emma?”
“I’m thinking, yeah,” my dad returned, making what sounded a lot like a gagging sound.
Which of course was the wrong thing to do because my cousin was on high-alert and I knew this when his narrowed eyes turned back to me.
“You seeing someone?” Carter growled.
Jeez, over-protective much?
“Pull up a chair, brother-in-law,” I invited.
“Why?”
“Well, I figure you’d prefer to be seated when I give you all the juicy details of my very active sex life.”
Carter jerked back and frowned. My father choked before his head tipped back and he roared with laughter.
When my dad finally composed himself, he announced, “That’s my cue to leave.”
“Yeah, mine, too,” Carter agreed. “I’ll just tell Laney…fuck…don’t ever say that shit to me again.”
Both men exited, shaking their heads in disgust. Served them right nosing around my personal life. And with the newfound knowledge the mere mention of sex would send them running, I decided to tuck that away for future use and got back to work.
I did it smiling. Not because I’d run the men off but because Brice was coming to me later. He was doing it using a key I’d left for him and he was doing it with me waiting for him in bed—buck-naked.
* * *
“Brice,” I panted as he drove into me hard.
He was close, too. His rhythm was unsteady, his breaths labored, his fingertips digging into my thigh as he pushed it back.
“Fuck, baby. So damn sweet. Sweeter every time I sink into you. Let me have it.”
On his demand, I shattered. His cock swelled, making my orgasm more intense. His mouth slammed down on mine and I groaned my pleasure. And just like every time he kissed me through it, he swallowed my moan and growled in ecstasy.
Brice slowed the kiss and stopped his gentle strokes. I knew what was coming. In all the weeks we’d been together, he hadn’t changed. Rough and dirty sex followed by sweet and gentle. It was perfect. He’d also pull out, cover me, take care of disposing the condom, then come back to me. Predictable. Comfortable. Bliss.
“Like coming home to you naked in bed, sweetheart.”
My heart squeezed and I beat back wanting to misinterpret his words. Something that was hard to do, and I had a feeling for the first time in my life I’d lied to my dad.
“Liked it, too, honey.”
Brice’s eyes flashed and I watched as he fought an unknown battle within. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I beat that back, too.
“Condom,” was all he said, then he rolled out of bed.
When he came back, he did not kiss me and leave like he normally did. He pulled back the covers, got in beside me, gathered me in his arms, and silently settled in.
Wordlessly, his breaths evened out and he fell asleep.
This was new.
This was a game-changer.
I didn’t think about it and forced myself to sleep.
And the next morning when I woke up in Brice’s arms, I knew I’d lied to my dad.
I knew I was in too deep. I knew I loved sleeping next to Brice, I loved the way he’d held me all night, and I knew I loved waking up to him.
Therefore, I knew without a shadow of a doubt I was falling in love.
And if Brice found out, he’d gently, kindly, break things off.
I was in big trouble.
10
“Yo!” I heard Jackson call from behind me as I zipped up my backpack and my stomach clenched. “Where you off to in a hurry?”
I turned from my bunk to face my best friend and barely concealed my flinch.
I was a fucking prick and I knew it.
“Nowhere,” I lied.
“Wanna stop by Lucky’s and grab a drink?”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Since Jackson had found Tuesday then finally nailed her down and convinced her to marry him, I’d been ecstatic for my friend. Tuesday was a great woman and Jackson deserved nothing less than what Tuesday gave him.
However in the last three months, I’d been more than just happy for Jackson—I’d been thankful he had a wife and someone to keep him occupied and not in my business. Not to say we weren’t still close, that we didn’t work the same shifts, weren’t still brothers every way we could be. But that meant he didn’t have a lot of time to go out—rather, he didn’t make time because he had a beautiful, sweet wife at home. And I couldn’t blame him—I had Quinn waiting for me, and while she wasn’t my wife, wasn’t even my girlfriend, I didn’t want to make time for anything other than her.
I contemplated my options and quickly found it didn’t matter which answer I gave—I was still a motherfucking, lying asshole. I knew Jackson would be pissed at me but what’s more Quinn would take the hit.
What I should’ve said was yes, but that would’ve put me under Jackson’s scrutiny for a minimum of an hour. And as the guilt about what I was doing had piled on so thick, I was genuinely worried I’d break down and come clean—which again was something I should’ve done. But being the selfish asshole I was, I wasn’t going to admit to anything.
And in that same vein of selfishness, I should’ve already ended things with Quinn.
Not only was I breaking my rules, I’d also started spending the night. Something that wasn’t a rule, but it very well should’ve been. For over a month now, I’d been spending more nights in Quinn’s bed than my own. And the nights I did force myself to leave, I’d spent lying awake wishing I was with her.
“Can’t, brother, got shit to do,” I answered.
“Right.” He chuckled and my body seized.
What the hell? Did Quinn tell him?
“What’s that mean?” I asked and braced for his ire.
“Know you’re seeing someone.” Fuck. Goddamn. I waited for him to continue. “Can’t think I’m so stupid I wouldn’t notice. Your fuckin’ head is bent to your cell more than it’s not. And you’ve turned down every invitation to go to the bar for at least two months.”
“You keepin’ tabs on me?”
“Hard to miss you smiling. Which I will say is nice to see even if I know it’s temporary.”
The ever-growi
ng knot in my gut tightened and I was left without anything to say. He was right, it was only temporary, and at this point I was almost looking forward to Quinn coming to her senses and putting a stop to this madness. Something I was too weak to do myself, but I knew with each passing day she burrowed deeper and I had no defense against it.
Not only that, but I instigated the plays. I’d been the one to cuddle her on the couch. I’d been the one to spend the night without asking. Quinn silently went along, following me wherever I took us. And I fucking loved that she was.
“You good?” Jackson asked.
“Yeah, why?”
“Nothing really, you just look like you got something to say.”
I did but I wasn’t going to tell my best friend all the ways I was screwing up.
I needed to end this before I did something even more catastrophic and fell in love with Quinn—whatever the fuck that really meant. I was sure I wouldn’t know what that felt like if someone had described it. A feeling I’d gone to great lengths to ensure I’d never feel. Love meant pain. So as a matter of self-preservation and intellect, I steered clear.
“Nothing to say, but I do have somewhere I need to be. We’ll catch up on those drinks next week,” I told him, praying Quinn would kick my ass out by then and I could sit next to my friend without being more of a son of a bitch than I already was.
“Right,” Jackson mumbled. “Catch you later.”
“Yeah, later.”
I made my way to my truck, fighting the urge to go back and tell Jackson the truth and take the ass-kicking he’d dish out. I deserved nothing less.
The drive home was a blur as the anticipation of seeing Quinn grew. It’d been three days since I’d woken her up, got her into the shower so she could get ready for work, and left to start my rotation. Three days of not seeing her beautiful face or hearing her voice.
Every time I rolled into work knowing all I was going to get of Quinn was text messages was torture. I didn’t ask her not to call, but she never did and I wondered if it was because she didn’t want Jackson to hear us or if she knew I was busy and didn’t want to bother me.
Keeping Quinn: The Next Generation Page 7
